While struck with insomnia a few nights ago I found myself tweeting images of horrible sex toys I’d found. Then this thing happened and I just couldn’t help but create a blog post for it.
Yes, it was just that bad.
Consider this the start of #WTFWednesday. You have the Cyberflesh Mouth & Breasts to thank for that.
Very rarely am I totally perplexed by a sex toy, but this thing. MY GOD! This thing just leaves me all kinds of speechless & bewildered.
I mean, what the fuckity fuck is it? A duck billed platypus mixed with a fish, mixed with a creepy boggly eyed hand muppet puppet (look at it upside down), fused with a cheap ass rubber chicken? Yes, yes it is. AND YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO PUT YOUR DICK IN IT. In case you don’t want to waste time flipping your head to look at it, I’ve done you the luxury of turning it around for you below. I think I’m officially traumatized.
After staring at it for some time I think it’s what I would expect to see if I tripped balls on acid and had a paranoid freak out moment where rabid leprechauns caught Animal from the Muppets and skinned him alive in front of me. *shudders* 
It’s just wrong. Every kind of wrong. Every. Kind.
And really, is that supposed to look like warts on the wrist part shaft? Because it does. And it’s obscene.
I’d like to find the person that created this and shake the shit out of them while screaming angrily: “wtf is wrong with you?! Why in the name of all that is holy would you manufacture this?! You’re part of what’s wrong with the industry!” Then I’d break down and cry like a baby in the fetal position.
Of course this isn’t the only scary sex toy out there, for more check out The Concubine and Mr.Jack – they’re hideous in every way possible.
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