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Vaginal Hygiene: How To Clean Your Vulva & Vagina

Before I get started please understand everyone born with a vagina has their own chemistry and hormones that contribute to the way they smell and taste. Regardless of how healthy they eat, how much time they spend scrubbing their genitals, or the choices they make both in and out of the bedroom, they are going to have their own unique scent. That’s just how it goes.

As for my suggestions, first and foremost: Douching doesn’t help. The vagina is not meant to be flushed with harsh chemicals or detergents. That’s probably the WORST thing anyone could suggest they do.

I’m pretty sure this is probably the first time you’ve heard that, so let me explain how things work…

The vagina has a naturally acidic pH level (healthy vaginal pH sits around 3.8 to 4.5 out of 14) that takes care of all the bad bacteria via discharge – fluid from glands inside the vagina and cervix – which carries away dead cells and bacteria, keeping the vagina clean and helping to prevent infection. When a person douches they wash away both the good and bad bacteria. Now with the good bacteria removed, the vagina is a perfect environment for the bad bacteria that enters to take over and run rampant.

With that in mind, they don’t need to use heavy soaps, detergents, creams, cloths, or sprays. Mild soap and water will suffice for external cleaning of the vulva.

My second suggestion is to bring up the option of 100% cotton underwear as it will allow the body to breathe and reduce the amount of sweat present, which will also hopefully result in less of a vaginal odor. Aside from that, it would be a good idea to limit the amount of tight synthetic material, thongs, and g-strings worn as they trap bacteria and can bring on the potential for infection.

If you use deodorant on your vulva and/or vagina I suggest you stop. That, like douching, can equal a recipe for disaster; the body sweats for a reason. By applying deodorant to the vulva/vagina they can not only increase the chance of infection, but also confuse the body and force it to overcompensate in other ways.

I’d also suggest seeing a doctor as the cause of the smell might be due to an infection like bacterial vaginosis (caused by an imbalance of naturally occurring bacterial flora).

Some common causes of Bacterial Vaginosis

  • Douching – using water or a medicated solution to clean the vagina
  • Having a bath with antiseptic liquids
  • Having a new sex partner
  • Having multiple sex partners
  • Perfumed bubble baths and some scented soaps
  • Smoking
  • Using an IUD (intrauterine device), such as a contraceptive device made from plastic and copper that fits inside the uterus
  • Using vaginal deodorants
  • Washing underwear with strong detergents or change of laundry detergent

Among other natural causes, Bacterial Vaginosis may occur from semen entering the vagina and throwing off the natural pH balance. That said, if you’ve been having unprotected sex, stop. After your partner has seen a doctor and knows that they’re free and clear of an infection, or has been successfully treated for one, go back to using condoms to limit the semen that comes into contact with the vagina (unless your trying to conceive of course).

Vaginal Hygiene: How To Talk To Your Partner

The last thing I want to mention on this topic is that the way that you choose to discuss it and the words you choose to use will have a direct impact on your partner as a person and a lover;  if you go to them in a loving way, with kind words, the offer to help, and be willing to learn all that you can (even possibly help pay for medication or cotton undies), they will be more willing to oblige and attempt to “fix the problem”.

Contrarily, if you go at your partner in an angry, disgusted, frustrated, turned off, embarrassed or rude manner, I can pretty much guarantee that you will not only offend and hurt them, but also create a situation where they feel embarrassed and ashamed of their vulva/vagina and in turn, their sexuality. They will think of the vagina as “dirty”, “gross”, or “shameful”, and likely not want to put out… and when they do, they will be less than enthusiastic and probably wont enjoy it very much. Trust me, I hear it all the time.

On that note, please also try to understand that for most, their vulva/vagina is a very touchy subject. Many people are raised in a society that teaches us to believe that our sexuality, body parts, and sex itself, are things we shouldn’t speak about and should hide away from others;

  • we are taught to use words like “private parts” in reference to our genitals, a seemingly innocent choice of wording that only further instills this belief.
  • depending on the culture a female has been raised, she could be taught to think that her vagina is “foul”, “disgusting”, “gross”, “dirty”, “nasty”, and all those other words associated with the things we shouldn’t want to touch or talk about.
  • daily we are bombarded by mainstream media promoting products that “help” women to feel “fresh”, “clean”, and smell like “flowers” or “summer rain”. These companies do nothing more then make millions by continually misleading the mass viewing public and cause unknowing females to believe that their vaginas are not self cleaning and instead shouldn’t smell the way they do.

Basically, the vulva/vagina is something that not very many women are comfortable talking about… let alone their own genitals.

Be conscious and conscientious with your choice in wording and how to choose to deal with the situation, and understand that by bringing it up you could be hitting a really vulnerable issue for your partner.

If your relationship is important to you, I suggest that you take the time necessary to understand the way the female body works and learn as much as you can. Unfortunately, due to the corporations that solely exist to make society think vaginas are “dirty”, we are taught to think that there is really only one option, when instead, there are many.

I hope that this helps you understand that there is nothing wrong with your partner or the way they smell and provided you with options to think about.

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Exploring the Female Body

I’m doing this video to answer some of the most asked questions I’ve received since I started making videos back in 2007. Hopefully it will help you understand the importance of knowing your body, get rid of any concerns you may have, and teach you to love the skin you’re in.

First and foremost, it’s important to note that from vulvas to nipples, eyes to teeth, every body is different and worthy of appreciation and respect. On that note, I want to stress how important it is that you learn to regularly touch yourself (it doesn’t have to be sexually) and look at yourself in the mirror. If you’re not familiar with your body there’s a likely chance you wont notice if anything is different, which could be a sign that something might be wrong health wise.

Also, during your explorations take note of anything that may feel good or bad to the touch. One of the key elements of intimacy and being sexually gratified is communication. If you don’t know what you like, how do you expect to help someone else please you?

Links to books in the video:

Sex In The CitySex In the City by Lisa Sussman

Sex in the City tackles every aspect of dating and relating you can imagine – and many that you’d never have thought of.  Covering everything from how to meet a partner – and identify the losers – to dating and sexual etiquette, down-to-earth advice on birth control and STDs, saucy tips for between-the-sheets bliss, satisfaction-guaranteed positions, wild sex, sex with your ex and how to cope with being a born-again virgin.

Hip, fun and funky in terms of design and approach, with over 50 specially commissioned colour illustrations, Sex in the City is a highly entertaining read, as well as an informative one. Better than a Cosmopolitan-fuelled evening out with the girls, this is the ultimate sex book for twenty-first century women.

Sexuality – A highly informative book covering all aspects of sexual development including the male and female reproductive systems with highly in depth, full color diagrams and illustrations. A must read!

Sex For DummiesSex for Dummies by Sabine Walter

The bestselling guide to a rewarding sex life and a deeper relationship.

Looking for the straight facts on sex? In this friendly, authoritative guide, renowned sex therapist Dr. Ruth gives you the latest on everything from oral sex and popular positions to new methods of birth control. She also debunks sex myths and covers new therapies to manage low libido, overcome sexual dysfunction, and enhance pleasure.

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Clitoral Stimulation Techniques


clitoris diagramFor those of you curious about clitoral stimulation techniques, including tips in regard to stimulating it during intercourse, as well as a few other facts that you may not know, this video should fill you in and hopefully help you find out what will work best for you.

Clitoris Facts

  • The clitoris serves no other purpose than providing sexual pleasure. In fact it is the only organ in the human body that exists solely for pleasure.
  • There are around eight thousand nerve endings within the clitoris, which is part of what makes it so sensitive.
  • Contrary to popular belief, the clitoris is much larger then people assume. Like a miniature penis, the clitoris consists of a rounded tip (the glans, think of the head of the penis), attached to a longer part (the shaft). The shaft has two “arms” that stretch backwards into the woman’s body, under the skin on either side above the vaginal opening. This picture shows the similarities between the clitoris and penis quite well.
  • Nerves controlling clitoral muscle contractions travel alongside the walls of the vagina, the bladder and urethra, passing along the sensations produced from orgasm or stimulation.  Which is why when a female experiences an orgasm during sex, the guy having sex with her will feel a throbbing or pulsing sensation inside her vagina.
  • When a person becomes sexually aroused, the clitoris fills with blood and increases in size just like a penis. After orgasm, the clitoris will return to its normal size. If the person doesn’t have an orgasm, the blood may remain there for a few hours and cause discomfort. This is pretty much the equivalent of “blue balls”.

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Hurray for Boobies!

Do’s and Dont’s

Don’t Stare ~ We really don’t like it!

Don’t Grab ~ it hurts!

Don’t make it the first thing you go for ~ it’s annoying and the rest of a woman’s body needs attention too!

Don’t suckle ~ your not a baby and she’s not breast feeding you!


Do be gentle ~ it’ll go a long way in regard to foreplay!

Do pay attention to both ~ both boobs deserve equal attention!

Do pay proper attention to the nipples ~ twirl, lick and tease. Don’t Bite~

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Queefing a.k.a Pussy Fart

If you’ve ever had sex, you’ve likely found yourself in the following situation: you’re in the moment and loving it, when all of a sudden there’s a noise that sounds like a fart… one that came out of you or your partners vagina. It’s the kind of situation that can leave you humiliated and feeling exposed, but it doesn’t have to. Here’s everything you need to know about ‘queefing’.

What Is a Queef?

First and foremost, vaginal farts are a totally normal and natural bodily function that anyone with a vagina will experience at one point or another. While many think they’re just like a fart, they’re actually not;  gas from the rectum happens because of bacterial activity in the gut, whereas queefing is the result of a pocket of air getting pushed out of the vagina. This explains why farts often have a smell, and queefing doesn’t.

Although it can happen at anytime (it’s a common occurrence while exercising), a pussy fart a.k.a queefing, very often occurs during sex, when a penis or sex toy is inserted and removed from the vagina (i.e during thrusting) which can not only push the air inside, but also displace it.

Unfortunately there’s no way to stop queefs from happening, however there are ways to lessen the chance; try positions other than doggy, use lots of lubricant, and try to limit the amount of times an object (penis or toy) fully exits then re-enters the vagina.

How to Deal with Queefing?

No matter how embarrassing it might be, it’s best not to be ashamed. It’s a natural bodily function, after all. If you’ve both got a sense of humor you can always joke about it. Basically, do your best to not let something so inconsequential affect the great time your having.

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