I just started getting hot and heavy with a partner after being single for 3 years and keep finding magazine articles on pubic hair and shaving, which is really intimidating. I’ve never done it so I’m not sure what’s “right” or “wrong”, hell, I haven’t even figured out if I’d like the way I look totally bare down there! I’m totally lost! Should I shave my pubic hair?
Do you have any suggestions or advice that could help?
Answer
Before I get into it I just want to stress that shaving your pubic hair is not required or necessary for an intimate, fun, and respectful sexual experience. It is a choice that only you can make and shouldn’t feel pressured to do, even by society.
When it comes to maintaining pubic hair, everyone is different. Like clothing or hairstyle, it’s a matter of individual preference. Some people don’t do anything with their pubic hair, leaving it to grow naturally. Some only remove hair when they’ll be wearing a bathing suit or engaging in intimate activities, and some remove hair regularly as part of their routine. As I said, it’s a decision that’s totally left up to you.
One thing I do want for you to keep in mind is that there are no real health benefits associated with removing pubic hair, so choose what feels right for you.
If you do decide to bare it all these are some tips and tricks I think you might find helpful;
First a few Warnings…
Never use the old-fashioned straight edge razor. It is unsuitable for pubic hair removal and can be dangerous.
Never use a razor on bare skin, it can cause razor burn and be especially painful.
Don’t share your razors — this can spread skin infections.
Never use a hair removal cream like Nair, it can get into the vagina and cause serious pain not to mention possible infections.
As for tips and tricks…
Opt for a more expensive good quality razor rather than a cheap throw away which is more likely to cause nicks, soreness and razor burns in this sensitive area.
If the pubic hair is thick and long use small scissors to trim down the hair to about a quarter of an inch. This will avoid blunting and clogging the razor too quickly.
Alternatively, take a long hot bath or stay in the shower for a while making sure the pubic area is soaked well. Pubic hair is coarser than the hair on your head and needs more time to soften.
Apply plenty of shaving foam or gel over the area and leave for a few minutes to soften further. Ordinary soap is not suitable as it does not lock in the moisture to the hair the way a shaving cream or gel does.
Make sure there is shaving foam on the skin each time you make a stroke with the razor.
Rinse the razor every couple of strokes as it will clog easily.
To make pubic hair removal less stressful for the skin, massage unscented Vitamin E oil into the pubic area after shaving.
Other Options:
If however you’re not into the idea of shaving you may be interested in any of the other options available like;
Waxing: It can hurt, particularly when one is new to the method, but leaves the area pretty smooth, and lasts one to six weeks, depending on the person. If you’re really brave, you can get waxing kits online for decent prices.
Electrolysis: Usually done by a professional, but there are home electrolysis systems as well. It may take a long time, usually a minimum of six treatments before the job is done. It is probably the most popular choice for permanent hair removal. One hair is removed at a time.
Epilators — A machine that yanks the hair out, roots and all. Lasts one to six weeks. Personal note: I did this once on a dare and let me tell you it hurts like hell!!! I don’t advise it… but it is an option. If you’re brave you can find home epilators here.
Lasers — Extremely fast, and usually less pain than with electrolysis. Effects are long lasting and may be permanent after several sessions.
Stencils – If you prefer to keep some hair down there you could always just trim it. Or if you want to have some fun, you could use a stencil specifically designed for pubic hair.
So that’s pretty much it. Hopefully between the video and written content you’ll be shaving your hair like a pro… or maybe you’re totally comfortable with it as is, and if that’s the case MORE POWER TO YOU!
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Since we’re living in a day and age where our health, well being, and that of the environment is of utmost importance, I thought I’d do what I could to help raise awareness about the way we unknowingly pollute our bodies. Fortunately, there are many options available when it comes to seeking out eco friendly sex toys, it’s just a matter of knowing what to look for.
How Do You Know If Your Sex Toy is Safe?
With all of the different materials on the market it can be pretty hard to differentiate between what’s safe and what isn’t. Making things even more complicated is the fact that many manufacturers are labeling products as being made entirely of a material when they only contain a small percent (this is often the case with mass produced ‘silicone’ toys).
The best advice I can offer is to take your health into your own hands, literally; when shopping in a store see if you can touch or smell the product of interest; if it feels slimy, wet, oily, or greasy, and/or smells like chemicals (close to the smell from new plastic shower curtains), it usually contains toxic ingredients like phthalates (pronounced THAL-ates) and should be avoided. Other than that, shopping at reputable stores and asking the staff for help to find a quality toy is usually a good idea.
Of course that isn’t an option for those that shop online, in that case I’d suggest looking for products that are made of non-porous materials listed as being ‘eco-friendly’, phthalate/Latex/PVC free, and a bit higher in price; low end products have low end prices because they’re made of low end materials, the opposite can be said for higher end products.
Sadly, the majority of low priced toys are also made of low quality materials, making them break faster and in need of replacement sooner. What make it worse is the fact that they are designed this way, with the manufacturers fully knowing how shoddy they are. At the end of the day their bottom line is making money, even if it’s at your expense. Bad news for your wallet, health, and the environment. Thankfully most high end products have a much higher level of craftsmanship, and pride taken when creating them, granting a wide variety of benefits:
100% medical grade silicone, wood, glass, stainless steel, and ceramic toys have a much longer lifespan; lasting years, rather than months.
Like skin, cheaper jelly products have pores which can absorb (and trap) bodily fluids, lube and bacteria during use. When this happens they potentially become a breeding ground for bacteria. Fortunately all of the above materials are non-porous and can be fully sterilized.
Many come with limited warranties offering either free replacement or a percentage off future purchases, saving you money in the long run.
Rather than needing batteries, an unexpected expense that quickly adds up and often goes unnoticed, most are now rechargeable or can be plugged into an outlet limiting the money you spend, not to mention the toxic effects disposed batteries have on landfills.
They’ll be made of body-safe materials, allowing full use without worry or negative effects on the body or the environment.
I know spending a lot of money on one sex toy seems a bit unreasonable for most people, especially first time buyers, but considering the many benefits and money you’ll save over time, it just makes sense.
Sex Toy Regulation, Affecting a Change
Because sex toys are illegal for sale in many places they’re often classified as ‘novelties’, rather than ‘medical devices’, a little tactic used to ensure they make it to market. Unfortunately this means that there are no regulations placed on them, allowing manufacturers to call a product what they want and label it as such. Considering most of the chemical compounds found in low-grade sex toys are the same ones banned from other products like pet and baby toys (due to the potential health risks), it seems like a ridiculous oversight, especially since they’re being placed in highly vulnerable and sensitive areas of the body.
Fortunately affecting a change is something that can be done a variety of ways that are all easy to employ:
Write to sex toy manufacturers and let them know you’ll only purchase eco-friendly and body safe products that are properly labeled (everything retail is supply and demand, if you demand higher quality they’ll hopefully supply it).
Keeping up to date on materials and being educated will help you avoid products that could be potentially dangerous.
Take your health, that of your friends, and the environment seriously and spread the word whenever you can. I know it may seem silly, but talking openly about sex toys helps to not only bring the misinformation and shady practices to light, it helps to keep others safe from making potentially harmful purchases.
This will probably seem like a long shot, but it’s worth the effort, you never know who might be listening – write to local congress and urge them to consider the safety and well being of the public when contemplating political stances.
Save up and only buy sex toys worthy of your cash; if the products constantly being sold are body safe and eco-friendly ones, retailers will take notice and be more likely to keep them in stock, not to mention hopefully shifting their focus from the cheap crap to higher end goods. You’ll also help keep reputable companies in business, something that’s far too often overlooked.
For the most part, personal lubricants are fantastic and work wonders in the bedroom for making the moment much more enjoyable, but like sex toys, contain ingredients you should look out for;
Oil Based: Oil based lubricants are great when it comes to keeping things slick however they often trap bacteria, which for some, may cause a vaginal infection or urinary tract infection (using oil for jerking off shouldn’t be too much of an issue since it’s all external, just make sure to wash up after). They also break down condoms and tend to stain surfaces (say goodbye to your favorite sheets). Finally, they aren’t suggested for use with sex toys since they can cause damage and often can’t fully be removed from porous materials (like jelly sex toys), instead remaining trapped within the body of the toy.
If you opt for something oil based during masturbation sessions try going all natural by using pure coconut or almond oil, they’ll keep things slippery without containing additives or being heavily processed.
Lubes with glycerin listed as one of the first 3 ingredients: If a female is prone to yeast infections steering clear of lubes that contain glycerin (a sugar-alcohol humectant that feeds on yeast) would be a good idea as it could just exacerbate the problem. Aside from that, if you find your lube becomes sticky or tacky during use it’s likely due to the glycerin content; friction caused during sex makes the glycerin oxidize quickly and require frequent reapplication. Because of this you’ll probably find you run through a bottle rather fast, save yourself some money and invest in something that will last.
Lubes with Parabens: Parabens, a synthetic preservative used in many intimate lubricants, are added to extend the shelf life by preventing growth of bacteria and fungi. For decades they’ve been considered safe for application (and consumption), with relatively low toxicity. However, more recent scientific studies found Parabens have been linked to cancers affecting women. In short, Parabens mimic estrogen (the female hormone), and when absorbed by the body, disrupt normal hormone production, potentially contributing to the growth of tumors and cancer. Making things even more scary, studies on breast cancer tumors revealed that tumors themselves consisted of high levels of Parabens which were believed to have been absorbed by the skin, ultimately stimulating tumor growth. Of course you likely won’t find yourself rubbing lube on your breasts that often, unless you’re giving boob jobs that is, but for those using nipple stimulating or breast enhancement creams, checking to see if they contain Parabens might be a good idea.
*for those reading the ingredients in their lubes/body care, don’t be alarmed if you see the following listed – they’re natural preservatives and haven’t been found to be harmful: grapefruit seed extract, tocopherol (vitamin E), retinyl (Vitamin A), ascorbic acid (Vitamin C), potassium sorbate, and various essential oils. Better yet, many of the listed natural ingredients have moisturizing properties.
Eco Friendly Sex Toys: Green Is Sexy
Whether it’s tossing that old battery operated jelly vibe and replacing it with something body safe and rechargeable, opting to only use Paraben and Glycerin free lubes, or spreading the word about the potential dangers of icky sex toys, any changes you make today can have long lasting positive affects on your health, sex life, and the environment. All that’s required is giving yourself permission. Trust me, it’s a change you’ll thank yourself for later.
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I recently starting “talking dirty” with my boyfriend of 3 months because he kept asking me to. At first I thought it was fun and it even turned me on, I liked doing it, but now he’s saying things that make me feel like what I’m doing is bad or wrong. He keeps saying that I’m “making” him do things he doesn’t want to and that it’s my fault because he can’t help himself. I thought he was kidding, but then he tried to use it against me and say that “since we went that far, having sex is the next step“. I’m not sure I’m ready but he’s making me feel guilty! What should I do? Is it really all my fault? Should I have sex with him?
Please help if you can
Guilty as Sin
Answer:
Dear Guilty as Sin,
Whether over the phone or online “talking dirty” is a fantastic way for a couple to interact sexually without actually having sex before their ready. Not only can it be a wonderful way of learning what your partners likes or dislikes are, what they are comfortable with and how far they are willing to go, but it also is great for or exploring their own sexual chemistry without placing themselves in a state of danger due to the risks of STD’s or an unwanted pregnancy.
That said, you shouldn’t feel guilty or ashamed of anything you’ve done. You chose to speak the way you did because you were curious about it and felt comfortable enough with him to explore that part of yourself. You’re allowed that.
As for the comment that you “made him” jerk off, I just want to clear one thing up…no you didn’t. He masturbated because he CHOOSE to ~ you weren’t there and therefor weren’t able to put his hands on himself, you didn’t make him move them the way he likes, and you certainly didn’t control whether or not he had an orgasm. He choose all of those actions and for him to say you “made him” do it is very incorrect. From the sounds of it he’s looking to place the blame on someone else so he doesn’t have to feel it anymore.
At any given time he could have changed the subject or stopped himself, but he didn’t (emphasis on HE), and that was his choice. He has no right to use it against you or in an attempt to make you feel guilty. What he is doing is maipulative, cruel, vindictive, disrespectful and you don’t deserve that kind of treatment.
That said, being that you were “dirty talking” you did have some influence over the words you chose fully knowing how they would affect him. I’m going to also assume that you liked what you said got a rise out of him, and it may have been something you were intending. In spite of your possible intentions, I want for you to know that his behavior after the fact and during are not your responsibility; we each have a choice in how we behave and how we handle situations. In my opinion he is handling this one very poorly and that’s something you need to discuss with him.
In regard to whether or not you should have sex with him that’s for you to decide, but I do want to point out that sex should be something that we share with our partner out of love, respect, friendship, passion, comfort, understanding, or any of the other positive reasons that people choose to connect… not because of guilt or manipulation.
In my honest opinion, so long as he is making you feel guilty, it’s not a good enough reason to ‘put out’. You deserve better then that.
Hopefully that helps
Kara_Sutra
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After receiving two years worth of messages on whether or not you could use an oil lube with latex condoms, and why or why not, I thought I would finally put out a video strictly dedicated to the subject.
Can you use oil with latex condoms?
When latex comes in contact with anything oil-based (e.g. skin lotions, baby oil, Vaseline, Crisco, cold cream, or even whipped cream), a chemical reaction occurs between the two substances which dramatically breaks down and weakens the latex. As the latex weakens it is more likely to have small holes in it, diminishing the amount of protection the condom offers. Within a short time it will cause the condom to break or tear completely. According to the CDC, within as little as 60 seconds of exposure, a 90% decrease in latex strength will occur in a condom when using an oil based lubricant; this is why latex condoms (and anything else made of latex) should only be used with water-based lubricants (water-based lubricants will not damage latex).
If you use a polyurethane condom, there is no need for worry as any type of lubricant (oil-based or water-based) is safe to use, since both of these types of lubricants will not damage things made out of polyurethane.
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After two years of questions from my viewers about their penis, its size, and how to make it larger, I thought I would offer a couple product reviews that might potentially help.
Before we move on, I just want to emphasize there is nothing wrong with having a penis that’s not the reported ‘average’. There are many people that prefer something not so big, and considering over 70% of women require clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm (something PIV can’t provide), having a smaller cock may just come in handy (it’s better at stimulating the g-spot!).
Having said that, I realize there is nothing I can say to make you feel better about your size, so instead I’m choosing to offer help the only other way I know how… by educating you on some of the options available. Hopefully it’ll make you feel more secure and confident in your body.
Like I’ve said time and time again, you’ve gotta learn to work with what you’ve got. And when you can’t, sometimes accessorizing it might just be the way to go.
Beginners Guide to Penis Extensions
What are penis extensions?
Penis Extensions are accessories that can be used for a variety of reasons, the most common are to increase the length or girth of your penis, to sustain an erection, or increase the pleasure your partner experiences.
They are often found in 3 basic forms; Realistic, Latex Roll On, and Strap-On Extensions.
Realistic
The first are hollow tube like structures that are placed over the end of the penis and slid down until the penis fills the space (pictured left). Most are crafted out of ‘skin like’ materials, be it UR3, Cyberskin, Real Feel, or otherwise. You’ll also find them made of silicone, PVC, and plastic (though the last two aren’t suggested as they’re not body safe). Skin like versions tend to be a tad pricier, aren’t very discrete, require cornstarch or renew powder to maintain their texture, can be difficult to clean since they’re porous, may slide off during use, and are more prone to tearing over time.
The second type of penis extension is made of latex (pictured right) and is designed to be placed on the head of the penis and rolled down like a condom. These tend to be a little less bulky than the ‘realistic’ versions, are easier to apply, are far more discrete, and a lot cheaper. On the down side they tend not to last very long and are only good with condoms if large amounts of lube are used.
Strap On Extension
Finally, you’ll find strap on extensions. Like the others they’re hollow to accommodate a penis, however they are held in place by a large strap of elastic or other adjustable material that either fits around the waist, or a combination of waist and between the thighs. Although they are the most ‘sturdy’, easiest to care for, clean, and use, they tend to be made of sub-par materials (pvc, etc) and not the most comfortable since there is limited squish or give to them.
When looking for an extension it’s suggested that you think about what type of experience you wish to have, how long you want the product to last, if you are doing this for yourself or your partner, the size you’re looking for (they usually vary from 1 inch to 4 inches in length), how much you’re willing to spend, and whether or not discretion is of importance.
The extension consists of latex and provides a comfortable feel for the man and an enjoyable, natural sensation for the woman (or other man). The extension is flexible enough to fit over a range of penis circumferences so you dont have to worry about finding one that is exactly right. Just make sure that the extension is not too tight to be uncomfortable or too loose to fall off while inside your partner. If this is a concern, you may want to use a condom over the extension and the penis to help hold everything in place.
Designed for wear during intercourse, the transformer extends the penis up to a full 4″ and enlarges the entire girth. Made of Virtual Touch CyberSkin texture for a realistic feel with Dual Density material in the tip for soft, yet firm penetration. The custom comfort design allows maximum satisfaction and fit during use. One size fits all; however, you can cut the sheath to desired length if necessary. Virtual Touch CyberSkin texture provides the ultimate experience in sexual pleasure and stimulation.
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I’m a sex-positive advocate, reviewer, vlogger, branding, media and publicity creation consultant. In 2007 I created a series on YouTube called Sex Ed 102 to educate on sex positivity, pleasure products, sex tips, tricks, & techniques, contraception options, and STI info. To date Sex Ed 102 has gained over 17 million views on YouTube alone! Keep reading...
Sex Toy Regulation, Affecting a Change
Latex Roll On
Strap On Extension
