Beginners Guide: Everything You Need To Know About 69’ing

Not sure what 69ing is? Not to worry. This beginners guide: Everything You Need To Know About 69’ing covers all the bases!

What is 69’ing?

“69ing” refers to a sexual position that allows you and your partner to give and receive simultaneous oral sex. As for why it’s called ’69’, if you look at the way the numbers line up it looks like two heads facing each others genitals. Pretty basic.

Although it takes a little more coordination than some other sex positions, there are a bunch of ways to make it easy, comfortable, and totally enjoyable for both parties.

69’ing Tips & Suggestions

Because this position puts the other person face-to-face with your genitals it can be rather embarrassing, overwhelming, and uncomfortable. Especially if you already feel self conscious being naked in front of another person. My suggestion, do your best to learn about and love your body beforehand. Look at it in the mirror, feel it, touch it and see what you like, become comfortable in your skin and trust that your partner likely doesn’t see all the faults you do. I know this can be hard for a lot of people, but it’s key to being able to let go and really enjoy yourself.

  • Very often when people orgasm there are uncontrollable muscle spasms, sometimes to the point of legs tensing like vice grips. If this is something that often happens to you, have a code word that lets your partner know you’re going to cum, that way they’ll have ample time to move and keep their head from getting squished between your thighs.


  • Like being in control? Try being on top, resting on your knees, with your legs straddling your partners head. This lets you determine how much stimulation you receive. If you want more or less simply lower or raise yourself accordingly. Just make sure you don’t rest all your weight on them. Suffocating isn’t fun.


  • On that note, be aware of your body and where your weight is landing. There’s nothing worse than being in the moment, totally enjoying yourself, only to find your partner yelling because you accidentally pulled their hair with the shifting of a knee.


  • If you’re well endowed be aware of how deep your thrusting, especially when on top and your partner has no where to back their head up to. Without meaning to you could hit their gag reflex, or accidentally choke them.


  • Not everyone likes balls. If you’ve got a set of ’em and you’re the one on top, try to be aware of where they’re landing. For the person on the bottom, use your hand to keep them out of the way.


  • If putting weight on your knees is uncomfortable, try lying side by side with your heads resting on each others thighs. This can allow a longer session, while also giving each other a bit more control, and easier access to everything.


  • Don’t be afraid to let your tongue wander. You don’t have to stick to specific target areas (i.e. the clitoris or penis). Explore the entire vulva. Same goes for the balls, taint (space between balls and ass), and foreskin (if they have any).

Remember, safe sex is the best sex. Use condoms and dental dams as necessary.

The Bad

If you’re the type that really enjoys oral sex, it may be rather difficult to concentrate on what you’re doing when your partner is busy at work between your legs. This can go for your partner as well. That said, don’t be disappointed if they keep losing focus or aren’t able to help you reach orgasm while in this position. Take it as a compliment that you’re doing a good job, and if they finish before you, ask them to help you out. Remember, unlike in the movies people don’t often orgasm at the same time.

I know good hygiene shouldn’t be something I need to cover, but 69ing often puts partners almost level with each others asses…. and while it’s a fetish (Olfactophilia), from the emails I receive I don’t think it’s something everyone is into. If you don’t want to offend your partner, should they not be into the ass smelling thing, washing up before would be a good idea.

Considering your mouths will likely be full most of the time, talking dirty or communicating your needs isn’t the easiest.

This isn’t the most comfortable position and can be rather awkward to get into and out of. Like I said earlier, be aware of your body and where parts are landing getting into and out of position. I’ve heard far too many tales of people being kneed in the face, squished, or elbowed by flailing limbs.


That’s pretty much all the advice I can offer. Hopefully it’ll help in some way. If you have any questions or are looking to share a story feel free to use the comments below.

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