Q&A w/ Kara_Sutra: Does Penis Size Matter?

*the above video is about 6 years old, I debated posting it but ultimately felt it still did a fairly decent job of getting the point across.


Hi Kara,

First let me say I watch every video you put on YouTube. I consider what you do a real service to the community. If people can watch it without feeling guilty or stupid, then you may have just saved a life or helped someone feel more comfortable about themselves.

Now, about me. I’m a healthy male, and I have a micro-penis. I was born with this condition. I masturbate normally, and have erections normally, etc. The only thing is my length is about 3″ when fully erect and my girth is around 1″, maybe just under.

As you can imagine, this has been a huge issue for me my entire life. As a teenager, being introduced to sex, I was mortified of having the discussion with my girlfriends. So, it never came up. When I went to high school I never took showers, out of embarrassment. It wasn’t until AFTER I graduated, my doctor talked to me and said “Gee, why didn’t you just wear swim trunks and tell people it was a skin condition or something?” Thanks, doc, a few years too late.

I met my current girlfriend and she and I hit it off immediately. After a few dates she wants to have sex and I start to worry, what if she doesn’t like me because of my penis? What if I can’t satisfy her? I don’t want to lose such a great opportunity in love.

I somehow (I will never know how to this day) got up the nerve to tell her about everything over the phone. Amazingly enough, she understands. She says we’ll work things out when we need to. I’m shocked, in awe, and simply ecstatic. So we eventually had sex. Our sex was more like lesbian sex, a lot of fingering, a LOT of oral, etc.

Now, I don’t know if its my brain malfunctioning, but I’ve always WANTED to have “normal” male/female sex. You know, penis in vagina. I don’t know if its a “feelings of inadequacy” thing, or what. So I’ve been looking at hollow strap-on harness sets like Vac-U-Lock. I’m wondering if you know of a good one to use. My main concern is the quality of the attachment, since her pleasure is paramount for me. I don’t want to get a very rigid/plastic-y dong attachment, since the whole reason for this is me giving HER pleasure. I want to be able to do all the positions that normal people do, but I can’t.

I hope you read this far, if you did, thank you. I know you’ll be able to point me in the right direction. Thank you for not judging, thank you for educating and entertaining. You are the best.

Does Penis Size Matter? Answer

First off thanks for watching and supporting what I do!

As for the question, what you are experiencing is fairly common.  I receive emails from males in your same situation at least 5 -10 times a week, so you are definitely not alone in it.

I also wanted to let you know how proud I am that you got up the courage to talk to your partner and be honest with how you felt and what you were going through. It must have been very difficult for you and something most would just shy away from. As I’ve tried to stress before, communication is key to making things work, and your being willing to be open and honest with her will go a long way in building a foundation of trust and understanding.

The best advice I can give when it comes to your feelings of inadequacy is to let you know that as long as you are able to please her orally or by manual stimulation (fingering) then you haven’t too much to worry about.  Keep in mind that majority of women (around 70%) get off from clitoral stimulation, not from penetration.  That’s why I always say it’s not your dick that’s the source of your power. Funnily enough, judging from the letters I receive from many females the majority of men don’t know what to do with their “normal” sized dicks anyways… or fingers, or mouth for that matter.

As for your interest in strap-on’s, is there any particular reason that you were thinking of a Vac-U-Lock?   I only ask because they usually aren’t the “better” brand.

With Vac-U-Lock you will need to purchase the “plug“, harness as well as the dildo/dong attachments (usually separately) and unfortunately it is only compatible with other Vac-U-Lock products.

Aside from that, they’re usually only made out of jelly materials (which are porous and absorb bodily fluids, lube and bacteria).

Where the harness is concerned I suggest you stay away from the plastic, rubbery feeling ones as they either tend to rub on the skin a little too much or trap the sweat underneath causing the product to either stick to you (not comfortably) or slide around.

There are many other products available on the market that I think could do the job while also providing some stimulation for you, without being too big or bulky, falling off, or only being compatible with one another.

You may want to also think about penis extensions,  they can be more comfortable as well as have a more realistic feel and look to them.

Also, considering the fact that the g-spot is located between 1-3 inches inside the vagina you don’t need to have a large penis to stimulate it.  In fact, it’s often those with “smaller” penises that tend to offer the most stimulation for women where g-spot stimulation and penetration are concerned. That being said you may want to consider something that adds girth and not length like a sleeve.

With the different suggestions you may have to try a few and see what works best for you. Do your best to not be discouraged if a product doesn’t work out the way you wanted or hoped, instead, try something new, make it fun and realize many men have had to go through this as well.

I’ve posted a bunch of images below of the products I’d personally suggest, feel free to shop on my new toy site, or to take the suggestions and shop around for better prices elsewhere. I’m not in it for the money, only to help out where I can.

Before I go I’d also like for you to consider that unless she has said something to you about it, she may actually be comfortable with the size of your penis.  Not all females care about penis size, or want a large penis, instead they care about the level of intimacy and comfort they have with their partner.

Sleeves and Extensions

*if you have allergies always check the material before purchasing.



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