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Sex Ed 102: The Best Condoms And Lube For Anal Sex

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Question

I recently got into a new relationship and we’re planning on having sex soon (I’m a gay male by the way). The problem is that I’m not that experienced, both with partners and toys (and condoms for that matter).  I’d like some help where lube and condoms are concerned. Do you have any lubes that you’d personally recommend, preferably silicone for anal play?

Also, would you have any flavored lubes that you’d recommend? We’ve tried a bunch of cheap samples we bought at a local novelty store and they were all pretty gross. Most of them were really thick, sickly sweet, and kinda burned our mouths. We obviously don’t need them to have a good time, but sometimes it’s fun to try new things. Any suggestions would be great.

Finally, I’m not that sexually experienced and quite nervous. Do you have any tips for a first timer?

 


 Answer

Whether it’s anal, vaginal, or otherwise, first times can be overwhelming and scary.  Trust me I know, I’ve been there. At some point we all have. With that in mind, the discomfort you may encounter during first time anal sex could be minimum or very intense depending on how relaxed you are. It’s for this reason that I created a post on anal sex tips for beginners, all designed to help make things a bit more comfortable and fun. I suggest reading the full post just so you’re not missing anything. In the meantime, I’ve copied the most valuable info below.

Sh*t Happens… Sometimes.

Before I get into the how-to’s of comfortable butt play, I think it’s worth mentioning the one thing most people are afraid of… having their partner remove whatever they’ve inserted and it being covered in shit. Yes, I really did write that and I really am going there.

The truth of the matter is sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t. It can be as little as a tiny speck or a lot (though that’s usually not the case), sometimes there’s nothing at all. Diet can have an affect, as can how recently your last bowel movement was.  If it’s something you’re really worried about make sure to go beforehand, don’t eat foods that you know make you feel gassy or have to go (avoid fatty, fried, and spicy food as well as caffeine), and try using a quality douche to clean yourself out.

At the end of the day any time you engage in butt play there’s a chance shit will happen. It’s normal, natural, and should be expected. Sure, it can be embarrassing but if you’re having sex with a great lover that’s mature, understanding, and informed, it doesn’t have to be.

Now that that’s said and done let’s get on to questions at hand…

First Time Anal Sex Tips

Before engaging in full anal penetration it’s a good idea to take some time to warm up; relaxing breathing exercises, meditating, and getting comfortable with your partner will prove helpful in the long run. Remember, the more relaxed you are the more relaxed your muscles will be. This will go a long way when it comes to inserting a toy, finger, or penis comfortably.

After you’ve added some lube, add a finger and just a finger; trying to insert a penis right off the bat can be a shock to the system. Likewise, going too fast too soon can cause you to tense up, leading to a painful experience rather then a enjoyable one. By using a finger you prep the body, stretch the muscles, and allow yourself time to get used to the feeling.

Once the finger is inserted, have your partner leave it there until you’re totally comfortable and relaxed. Tell them not to thrust or move it around… just insert it and leave it.

When you’re ready have them slowly remove the finger. Doing it quickly can cause you to tense up, so make sure to go slow. From there I suggest adding more lube and a toy. You’ll want one that’s on the smaller side, flexible, made of 100% silicone, and has a flared base like the Small Tantus Silk (pictured right). This will give you the opportunity to work up to something larger with minimal discomfort.

Whether you decide to continue with a finger, toy, or penis, have them thrust gently in the beginning. Take your time, relax into it, and try to enjoy the moment.

I know we see the people of porn taking it like champs, but they’re trained professionals. It’s what they do for a living.  You’re not expected to take a pounding the first time around. It’ll likely take a few tries, or maybe you won’t ever feel comfortable doing that. Either way, it’s totally okay and normal.

If you’re partner is having a hard time inserting, try doing it doggy style. This may make it easier as you’re the one determining how far it gets inserted and at what speed.  Simply have your partner on their knees staying as still as they can. Then slowly back up onto it. Once they’re inside you can find a pace and depth that’s comfortable for you.

Finally, be gentle with yourself and know that if at any time you want to stop there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s your body, you get to call the shots.

The Best Condoms And Lube For Anal Sex

Silicone Lube Options

Best Condoms and Lube For Anal SexSince the anus doesn’t self lubricate you’re definitely going to want to invest in some good quality lube. Most silicone lubes are very similar; they’re condom compatible, will maintain a slippery consistency and wont dry out like water based lubes, are tasteless and odourless, are glycerin/paraben free, and are great for use in the shower. Personally I use Sliquid Silver, Premium System Jo, Sliquid Silk, or Pjur. They’re all affordable, quality lubes, made by companies I trust.

If you’re wary of pain and want something that will relax your butt without numbing the area (which can be dangerous since you’re unable to feel tearing), I highly suggest Analyse Me Spray by Pjur. I’ve also heard really great things about Intimate Earth Ease Lube (pictured left). Rather than using benzocaine or lidocain (numbing agents), Intimate Earth uses Bisabolol (a component of chamomile essential oil) which will relax the area while also potentially providing anti-irritant, anti-inflammatory, and anti-microbial benefits.

Of course there are some drawbacks to using silicone lubes; they have the potential to stain fabrics, you’ll need soap and water to fully remove them, and they can break down silicone toys. If you’re nervous about ruining a toy just do a patch test on the bottom of it to see if it’ll be an issue.

Best Condoms And Lube For Anal Sex - Pjur Med Natural Glide Water Based LubeWater Based Lube Options

I know you specifically asked for silicone lubes, but I figure it’s always good to have options.

For water based I tend to go with Sliquid H20 because it doesn’t have the shitty chemicals most others do (the people behind the company focus on body safe ingredients so that helps). It also doesn’t get sticky or tacky quickly. It still will a bit, all water based lubes do, but it’s not as bad. If it starts to dry you can easily use spit or water to get it slippery again. When I’m out of Sliquid I use Pjur Med Natural Glide Water Based Lube (pictured right) or Slippery Stuff it’s more of a gel consistency but melts quickly with body heat.

Flavored Lube Options

As for flavored lubes System Jo and Sliquid Swirl are great if you like fruitier flavors. If you’d prefer something that tastes like dessert Wet Warming Desserts and Wicked Sensual Care have the biggest varieties.

Cherry Vanilla Sliquid (pictured left) is my favourite (check my Cherry Vanilla Sliquid Review here). It’s light and fruity with a hint of vanilla. Not at all thick or gross, and didn’t leave a bad after taste.  More than that it didn’t burn my throat or tongue. If you want to sample them before investing in a larger size, the Lip Lickers Cube from Sliquid has 4 different flavours you can try. I can’t recommend Sliquid enough!

Wicked Sensual Care has 10 different dessert flavored lubes with most of them being what you’d typically expect. From Salted Caramel to Vanilla Bean, Cinnamon Bun to Candy Apple, they’ve got all the bases covered. With regard to price points, they come in two different sizes so you don’t have to break the bank if you’re not sure about a flavor.  I find they’re a bit sweeter, not too syrupy (considering the flavors), have a nice consistency (not sticky or tacky), and a little goes a really long way.

Going back to 2010, System Jo made the first flavored lubes I really liked. The flavors are light, the lube isn’t too thick or goopey, and the feeling is more like a slippery silicone lube than water based.  My faves are Chocolate Delight (my review), and Banana Lick. They also just came out with a ‘Candy Shop’ line, I’m excited to try the Cotton Candy and Butterscotch flavors.  There’s a whole bunch more on the System JO website.  If you want a bit more info here’s my review of System Jo fruit flavors.

Condoms I’d Recommend

Condom wise, you’ll likely want one that’s barely there. If neither of you have a latex allergy you should enjoy One Vanish, Skyn, Kimono Micro Thin, and Trojan Bareskin. I’ve tried them all and think they’re some of the best around. You can usually find good deals on the Undercover Condoms website in their ‘bulk’ section.

Even though you’ll be using lube you’ll benefit from lubricated condoms as they’ll reduce any chance of friction. Just make sure not to use one that has Nonoxynol-9 as it can actually increase your chances of contracting an STD/STI. Also, don’t go for Magnums unless you absolutely need the larger size.  An improper fit can slip off during intercourse, which defeats the purpose of wearing it in the first place.  If you’re not sure what size will work best for your needs, this condom sizing guide should help. There’s also my succinct beginners condom guide.

Hopefully this post helped you to not only find a lube and condoms that works for your needs, but also gave you some valuable information on how to make your first time an enjoyable one.

I linked you to the places I shop online, support and trust. If you’d prefer to shop somewhere for reasons of discretion I’ve also linked to Amazon. If you find any of the products I’ve mentioned cheaper elsewhere please let me know so I can pass on the savings other readers.

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Review: "OOO" Boutique ~ Savor Me Flavored Condoms

savor me condoms

Savor Me

One of the biggest complaints I hear about using condoms for oral is the horrible taste they leave in the mouth. To be honest, I really can’t disagree; from my experiences they always seemed like a mixture of rubber, slime, powdery residue and nausea inducing latex. Not fun, and definitely not sexy, especially when you’ve got something rammed down your throat just teasing the gag reflexes.  Fortunately there are quite a few decently flavored condoms available to help make the experience far more pleasurable, for both parties.

Within the “OOO” Savor Me collection there are currently only 3 flavors to choose from; strawberry, chocolate dip and vanilla, all of which were surprisingly better than I expected since none of them had the trademark rubber/latex smell or thick syrupy taste found with many other brands.

Before I go on I do want to mention that I sampled the condoms in 3 different ways to gauge the experience; once orally with my partner, once straight from the package (though why you’d do that I have no clue), and once cut to resemble a dental dam (for those of you that may opt to use condoms that way). Unfortunately I didn’t really think of using them for intercourse, so I can’t speak about the experience should you choose to use them that way.

(note: for those that don’t like the taste of semen or the thought of having it in their mouth, using flavored condoms is a great way to allow your partner(s) to finish without consistently worrying that they might shock you with an unexpected hot load <- yes I really did just write that.)

Packaging

Since I covered the vast majority of the packaging in my previous “OOO” Boutique condom review, for this review I’m just going to focus on the single packs.

Each single cover is crafted out of matte paper/cardboard that feels smooth and luxurious, while also coming across as very high end. There’s nothing about them that’s cheap or flimsy, with the actual cover being fairly thick and well constructed, making them great for protecting the condom inside.

The designs of each are professional yet artistic, simple yet fashionable, and sleek yet playful, with an appearance like nothing currently being offer in the market. To be honest, if someone pulled one of these out in a public place and dropped it on a table I wouldn’t know what it was at first glance, instead I’d likely assume it was a little booklet of some sort rather than a condom.  On that note, located within the cover is a fold out that offers instructions and tips for application on one side and the various products they create on the other (pictured below).

As for the actual condoms, each foil wrapper is simple with a lovely silver outer package that sports the “ooo” logo and “do it with style” on the front, with the back containing the expiration date and information about the condom.

The Flavors & Experience

When used orally (with my partner) the condoms weren’t baggy or thick and didn’t move around much in my mouth, of course that may be due to my partners size and therefore won’t apply to everyone, but I think it’s still worth noting – especially for those that have used condoms for oral and found they shifted around during use. On that note, they didn’t get in the way or interfere, something I’ve come to expect due to past experiences.  Application was likewise easy, with no sticking, bunching or tangling of the latex to complicate things while rolling the condom down the shaft of the penis.

As for the flavors…

Strawberry, Chocolate, Vanilla

The first I tried was chocolate, with the scent and taste being a pretty close match. Sure it didn’t taste exactly like chocolate, but it’s a flavored condom so it’s to be expected, especially since there only seemed to be a thin coating of the flavored lube they used. The scent wasn’t strong or overbearing either, instead being light, sweet and luscious. Regarding the coloring, the condom is black, not brown which I’d expect being that chocolate is brown, making my partners dick look more like a giant black magic marker than anything else. Yeah, there’s a fun visual for ya.

Next up was strawberry, which didn’t really taste much like strawberry at all; it was fruity and somewhat sweet, but tasted more like a non distinct chalky fruit candy that quickly dissipated to only a hint of fruit. Although it wasn’t much to write home about, the fact that there wasn’t a disgusting aftertaste or gag worthy sliminess was certainly nice. As for the color, you’re looking at a very bright candy apple red shade that’s fairly transparent when worn. Though I will say, having sex with someone who looks like they have a pinkish rash on their dick (due to the condom) was definitely a new experience for me.

Ghost Condom says "boo!"

Last was vanilla, almost instantly I was hit with the light scent of a creamy vanilla milkshake (kinda like an Ensure Nutritional Drinks), as for the taste, it’s subtle, very subtle, being almost like nothing at all. I honestly would have loved for the flavor to have been a tad stronger, or lasted longer, since it was pretty good while it was there. Having said that, being that it lost the taste so quickly I really can’t say very much about it other than it wasn’t slimy or thick, syrupy, overly lubed or powdery which was much more than I hoped for. Unlike the other “OOO” condoms (Rock Me and Feel Me), instead of being almost totally transparent the vanilla condoms had a slight white tint to them. For some reason I thought coloring them like ghosts would be a fun idea (pictured left). #boredombreedsentertainment

The Bad

The only problem we found was that the flavors didn’t last very long. On the up side, once the flavor was gone they didn’t smell or taste like latex. Having said that, adding a flavored lube of the same type would be a decent solution, and with System Jo making both Strawberry and Chocolate versions, and Intimate Organics offering a pretty decent Vanilla Caramel, along with Sliquid making the BEST cherry vanilla lube I’ve ever had, it should be a solution that’s easy to employ.

*For those of you that suggest not using a condom for oral let me just say this, HPV, Herpes, Gonorrhea, and Chlamydia, can all be passed on to your partner(s) orally. Don’t really care? Let’s see if you say that after looking at these pictures of Chlamydia or these pictures of Syphilis. Personally I’d prefer to either go without or use a condom.

Final Verdict

If you’re sick of flavored condoms that have a scent and taste that’s syrupy, thick, practically all latex and totally nausea inducing, you might want to try the “OOO” Boutique Savor Me flavored condoms, although the flavors didn’t stick around very long (chocolate being the best) what they had to offer was pretty decent (considering that they’re condoms). If on the the other hand you’re looking for ones with a bit more lasting power I’d suggest Endurance or a Trustex 12 pack, both offer a wider variety of flavors and are free of the latex grossness.

To get your hands on a variety of flavored condoms at great prices, head over to ShopSexEd102.com where shopping for your intimate accessories is discreet and priced to fit any budget!

For those interested in the Rock Me (pleasure enhanced) or Feel Me (sheer) versions the company creates I suggest you either subscribe to my RSS feed or fill out the form below as I’ll be covering them in an up coming review.

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Review: "ooo" boutique – Fashionably Packaged Condoms

As part of my mission to educate and empower I thought it might be a good idea to cover something not too many reviewers have, condoms. Now I know a lot of you are probably wondering why I’d choose to cover such a product, especially since there seemingly isn’t too much to write about; they’re made of latex, polyurethane/polyisoprene or lambskin, go over a penis and help prevent unplanned pregnancies and STD transmissions. Big whoop!

Truth is, with all of the ‘new and improved’ options on the market I thought there might be a way I could incorporate the different varieties into a series of reviews that helps bring an awareness about safer sex practices, the benefits of making informed decisions and learning to be proud of using prophylactics rather than ashamed or embarrassed.

To help me make my point, and potentially offer a way to make using condoms a bit more sexy and fashionable, the generous folks at the up and coming “ooo” boutique provided me with an entire box of goodies to review and showcase for you. From flavors to textures, sheer to pleasure enhanced, I literally have EVERYTHING they’ve created so far.

On that note, because such a big part of what makes these condoms so fantastic is the ‘designer’ packaging I thought I’d dedicate one full post to it, with the next post being dedicated to the actual condoms. If you’re only interested in the condoms I suggest you jump ahead to part 2 (again with the following the RSS Feed so you know when it comes out).

*Since I’m a believer in paying it forward I’m going to return the favor the folks at the company showed me and share. If you’d like the chance to get your hands on some of these bad ass goodies I’ll be holding an “ooo” giveaway in the coming month.  If you want to participate I suggest you subscribe to my RSS feed so you’ll be one of the first to know.

*All “ooo” boutique condoms are FDA approved, individually tested, and exceed all international standards for quality and reliability. – as taken from the website

Packaging

When it came to designing a line of condoms that were as creative as they were effective, the creators of “ooo” boutique nailed it! Especially if effective means you’ll want to carry them, be more comfortable keeping them around the house, and therefore better prepared to engage in safer sex practices.

Whether it’s the unique boxes or the simple and sleek colorings used, the outer packaging has a lot going for it. It’s sophisticated. It’s artistic. It’s professional. It’s exciting. It’s discreet. It screams sexy. It’s everything many of the other mainstream condom manufacturers aren’t… and puts them to shame in the process. While the shape of the outer foil may give them away (they’re a traditional square foil with a perforated edge) the single wrappers aren’t brightly colored and don’t attract much attention; just a simple silver cover with the “ooo” lettering on each side.

As for the outer designs there are currently 6 main collections, with Tryst, Passion Pack and Art of Lust having 3 different variations on the theme. Alternatively, the Kung Fu Sutra, Take Me and Try Me boxed gift sets feature separate individually designed foil wrappers created to entice exploration of the environment and your physical prowess (images of different locations and positions being the theme). Regardless of the ones you choose, all of the “ooo” collections are pretty fantastic and worth the slightly higher price tag they command.

Tryst ~ 6 pack ($7.99), Singles ($1.59)

The Tryst line of condoms includes alluring cubes in a luxurious slick matte black tone and an almost neon shade of red, purple or yellow. The front of the boxes feature the theme name (savor me, feel me or rock me) along with a poetic prose written in a shiny black ink only visible when the cube’s tilted to expose the lettering. Located on the bottom front is a cutout corresponding with the theme; top half of  a heart for “feel me”, top of a crown for “rock me” (We Will Rock You by Queen being the assumed inspiration) and a top half of lips for “savor me” (flavored condoms, go figure). The back offers basic instructions, cautions and company info, while the top and bottom have an embossed “ooo” logo, website url and ‘important information” regarding the pros of practicing safe sex. The lid easily slides upwards and off to allow access to the condoms while also acting as a discreet little storage container. It’s simple. It’s clever. And I like it. A lot.

Passion ~ 6 pack ($7.99), Singles ($1.59)

The Passion collection of condoms features a smooth and clean white tall sachet style package that’s simple, discreet and fairly unique, especially when compared to the traditional rectangle boxes used by many major manufacturers.

The neon colors within the collection are the same as Tryst, with a softer pastel purple being the only real difference. Rather than the half crown, lips and heart found on the previous cubes, Passion features a colored heart placed front and center as well as on the back where the flip tab is located. Unfortunately there’s no poetic prose included with this collection, instead you’ll find a sentence coinciding with the theme written in metallic silver. Like Tryst there are basic instructions, cautions and company info provided on the back, as well as a pamphlet located inside.

Both Tryst and Passion offer the option of discreet single condoms, packaged in the corresponding color schemes as the larger versions. Considering one of the major problems that comes with carrying a single foil wrapped prophylactic is the fact that it could get worn, punctured or torn, the inclusion of a thick quality cover is a pretty decent idea.

Kung Fu Sutra – 8 pack ($15.99)

When it comes to concepts I just don’t get, the Kung Fu Sutra themed condoms is one of them. Sure the packaging is stylish, unique, exceptionally artistic and very well deigned, but it’s just not very practical or realistic. If they were doing it for a laugh, okay fine, but otherwise – not so much. (If you can find me a link to a prOn or website where the positions are found, hook a sister up! That’s just something I need to see!!)

As for the packaging, the eight single wrapped condoms come in a tawny colored rectangular box that features Asian theme you’d expect to find on most Kama Sutra or Shunga products. The red, black and beige shades lend themselves well to this concept, as does the inclusion of Japanese characters and sexually explicit images of ninjas in various sexual positions (yes, I did just say ‘ninjas in various sexual positions’. I win.). Quite surprisingly the box containing the condoms is sturdy, thick, with a bit of weight to it, rather than being a cheap and flimsy box that falls apart quickly. To put it lightly, I’m very impressed.

From the get go the major theme of this collection is rather apparent; each individually wrapped condom features an image of an exceptionally challenging position meant to inspire users to ‘face-off  in a game of power and pleasure” (as quoted on the website). The graphics are artistic and very well designed, interesting and often induce a case of serious curiosity as to whether or not the positions could be pulled off… even if they are a tad far fetched and too complicated for the average person to even dream of completing (I see a lot of frustrating sex being had thanks to these bad boys). The lid is easily removed providing access the condoms, while the box could be reused at a later date to safely store refills or small lube samples/batteries.

*the only thing I didn’t really like about this was the lack of images of males on males, all of it is hetero in nature.

Art Of Lust ~ 6 Pack ($7.99), Singles ($1.59)

When it comes to condom packaging that’s fresh, sophisticated and highly impressive, the sleek match box style containers are where it’s at. Not only are the 3 different boxes easy to store, taking up less room than the traditional packaging larger condom boxes offer, they’re also well made and do a fantastic job of allowing the condoms to be easily accessed yet still well protected (no cheap cardboard here, the box is sturdy and designed to hold up).

Like the other two versions Art of Lust comes in a totally different design, being a sliding box with a ribbon pull rather than a sachet or cube style. The colors, while vivid, are quite muted emphasizing skin tones and golden metallic shades rather than the pastel or bright neon pigments found with the others. The front features the male, female or both images, while the back has a simple sentence coinciding with the theme written in black followed by some info on the pros of practicing safe sex. Sure the lines are a little cheesy, but they’re not that bad.

As for the designs, I don’t know that I’d use the word ‘lust’ to describe them. Intense? Maybe. Interesting? Very. Attractive? Definitely. Artistic? Highly. Having said that they are something a person would likely ask about should they see them, they can’t not,  they’re that eye catching. Regarding the faces, I don’t know what they were going for but the female image slightly resembles an 80’s era Annie Lennox, with the male looking a tad like a shaved version of Sasha Baren Cohen mixed with Freddie Mercury. Quite a bit of cock rock if you ask me! (someone seriously needs to create a female equivalent to that term. Just sayin.)

According to the website the collection is limited edition, with each box designed by an ‘up and coming artist’. Unfortunately the site lacks a reference to who the artists are, making it hard for me to give credit where it’s due (Hey OOO Boutique, if you’re reading this I’d love a link please and thanks!).

Take Me ~ 12 Pack ($19.99), Singles ($1.59)

If you’ve ever needed a little push to do something fun, like let’s say have sex an elevator, take a roll in the hay, play secretary/boss at the office, or do it in the kitchen, the fun and frisky condoms offered in the Take Me collection may just be what you’re looking for.

Not sure how to broach the topic of ‘public’ play? Try slipping one into your partners pocket, purse, gym bag or wallet. Without much effort, other than a text message to let them know where it’s hiding, they should catch the drift.

Each single condom comes packaged with an image of a potentially playful, erotic or risky location on the front. Fortunately there’s quite a bit to choose from, in addition to the options listed above there’s also: The Beach, woods, one mile high, the drive-in, a tent, parents room, the back seat and the pool.

As for the packaging it’s fairly simple: each condom sits within a large rectangular sleek matte grey box with a clear plastic cover that encloses the 12 condoms, showing them off very well. The back features an image of all the condoms within the collection as some are hidden by the ‘take me’ logo found on the front.  As with the other versions the back also contains info on safer sex practices and company info.

Final Verdict

With the refreshingly different product packaging used by “ooo” boutique being a far cry from what one might expect, it’s not surprising they’re being toted as ‘designer’ condoms. Having said that, if you’ve refrained for fear someone may find them  or simply because you value discretion, “ooo” boutique is a brand you might want to consider. The boxes are small enough to fit almost anywhere, they’re sophisticated in feel, don’t have a well known brand name sprawled across the front and most importantly, are condoms you’d want to pull out with pride (just so you could show them off).

While some basics similarities may remain, “ooo” boutique has raised the bar and helped to push the prophylactic industry into a whole other level. Let’s hope that companies like this thrive and grow, creating a fashionable awareness about safer sex practices and supporting the cause for generations to come.

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Sex Ed 102 Beginners Guide: Dental Dams

 

 

Sex Ed 102 Beginners Guide: Dental Dams For Safe Oral Play

If you’re exploring ways to keep oral play both safe and pleasurable, dental dams might be a perfect addition to your routine. Many people know about condoms as a method of protection, but dental dams are an equally important tool, especially for oral play involving the vulva or anus.

While they may be new to some, dental dams are simple, easy to use, and can provide peace of mind by reducing the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) without taking away from intimacy. In this guide, we’ll dive into what dental dams are, how they work, and offer helpful tips and options for anyone looking to add this effective barrier method to their safer sex practices.

What Are Dental Dams and How Do They Work?

A dental dam is a thin, flexible sheet of latex or polyurethane that acts as a protective barrier between partners during oral sex. Originally designed for dental work (hence the name), dental dams were adapted for sexual use to provide an effective shield that minimizes skin-to-skin contact and helps prevent the transmission of STIs. When used correctly, a dental dam covers the vulva or anus, keeping bodily fluids and potential infections at bay. They come in a range of flavors, colours, and materials, making it easy to find an option that feels comfortable, safe, and enjoyable.

How to Use a Dental Dam

  1. Position the Dam: Place the dental dam over the area you intend to engage with during oral sex, ensuring it covers the area fully. It’s best to use a new dental dam every time and with each new partner or area.
  2. Hold it in Place: Keep the dental dam steady with your hands to prevent it from slipping, or have your partner help hold it in place. Make sure not to flip it over during use, as this could transfer bacteria to the other side.
  3. Apply Lubricant for Comfort: Water-based or silicone-based lubricant can be applied to the side of the dental dam that makes contact with the body. This helps keep the dam in place and enhances sensitivity by allowing it to move more fluidly.
  4. Dispose of the Dam Properly: After use, simply throw the dental dam away in the trash. Dental dams are single-use only, so don’t reuse them.

Options Available: Choosing the Right Dental Dam for You

Dental dams come in a few different options to accommodate various needs and preferences:

Latex Dental Dams: The most common and affordable option, latex dams are thin, stretchy, and provide an effective barrier against STIs. They’re available in multiple flavors to add a bit of fun to the experience.

Non-Latex (Polyurethane) Dental Dams: These are a great alternative for those with latex allergies. Polyurethane is a body-safe material that still provides excellent protection, although they’re usually a bit less stretchy than latex options.

Flavored Dams: Flavoured dental dams can make oral play more enjoyable by masking any taste or smell of the material. Available in a variety of flavors, they’re a nice way to add some fun to your experience.

Whether you’re looking for something ultra-thin, flavoured, or hypoallergenic, there are options to make sure your dental dam experience feels comfortable and satisfying.

Alternatives

If you’re unable to find dental dams in your area and/or don’t feel safe shopping online keep in mind that there are other options available: plastic saran wrap from your kitchen can serve as an effective dental dam, condoms work well too – simply cut off the tip, cut down the side, and spread the condom using your hands over the exposed area (you’ll also have quite a few more flavor options if you use flavored condoms).

Lorals Barrier Underwear

Another option are Lorals underwear which offer a unique, comfortable option for safer oral play. Lorals are single-use, ultra-thin latex underwear designed to act as a barrier, allowing for pleasurable sensation while reducing STI transmission risks. These disposable panties cover the vulva area completely, creating a smooth layer that can be more discreet and secure than a handheld dental dam.

Lorals come in different styles, such as bikinis or briefs, and can be a game-changer for anyone who wants a hands-free barrier option that feels more natural. With their stretchy, form-fitting design, Lorals offer a comfortable, close fit that moves with the body, making them ideal for people who find standard dental dams cumbersome or less effective during movement. Plus, they can be paired with lubricant on the external side, just like traditional dental dams.

Choosing the Right Lubricant

When using dental dams, lubrication is key to comfort and enhanced sensation. Applying a small amount of lubricant to the body side of the dam reduces friction, makes the dam feel smoother, and can enhance pleasure for both partners.

Using flavoured lubricant can be a fun addition when using dental dams or barrier products like Lorals underwear. Not only can flavoured lube make the experience more enjoyable by masking the taste of latex, but it also adds a bit of variety to the experience, allowing for playful exploration of flavors. Flavoured lubes are specifically designed to be safe for oral use, ensuring that they’re non-toxic and easy on the stomach if ingested.

Generally speaking, water-based lubricants are a popular choice as they’re compatible with both latex and polyurethane dental dams. Silicone-based lubricants are also safe to use and offer a longer-lasting glide, though they may be slightly harder to wash off. If you’re using silicone lube you’ll want to make sure not to use it on the side your licking as it’s not meant to be ingested. Avoid oil-based lubricants, as they can weaken latex and create holes in the dam, reducing its effectiveness.

The Bad

When it comes to the down side of using dental dams there are a few things to consider:

  • Reduced Sensations: Due to the thickness and type of material you choose, they may limit sensation and feel foreign. The best way for me to put it is to think of sex without a condom verses sex with a condom. Granted, condoms have come a long way and are now being manufactured to feel as close to the real thing as possible, but still. It just doesn’t feel the same as skin on skin contact.
  •  No Free Hands: Because dental dams move around as you offer stimulation to your partner they need to be held in place during use, which can make things feel a bit less spontaneous. This can also be a bit distracting or tricky to manage, especially for beginners.
  • Not Big Enough: Depending on your body they might not be long/wide enough for the exposed area. Using two could be a bit awkward when it comes to keeping them in place. In this case I’d suggest saran wrap.
  • Single-Use: As with most barrier methods, dental dams should be disposed of after each use, meaning you’ll need a new one for each session or partner.
  • Availability: While growing in popularity, dental dams are less common than condoms, so it may be easier to find them online or in specialty stores.

Final Thoughts

Dental dams are an empowering tool for safer oral play, giving you a way to protect yourself and your partner without sacrificing pleasure or intimacy. With various options, flavors, and materials, dental dams offer flexibility for everyone, whether you’re just starting or experienced.

By using a little lubricant and taking time to get comfortable, you’ll find that dental dams can fit seamlessly into your routine, providing both peace of mind and pleasurable experiences. Whatever you and your partner enjoy, dental dams make it possible to explore safely, so you can focus on connecting and creating memorable moments together.

If you’d like to get your hands on dental dams be sure to check out my favourite online sex toy stores be it SheVibe, Babeland, SexToy.com, or my own online store, ShopSexEd102.com. Don’t forget to shop around to make sure you’re getting the best prices available.

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Sex Ed 102: The Female Condom (a.k.a Internal Condom)


As you all know I’m a big supporter of safe sex, you know, the kind that leaves you free of worries about an unplanned pregnancy or possible transmission of an STD. That said I hope this post will give you further insight to the options available and help you possibly find a method of protection thats right for you.

female condomWhat are Female Condoms or Internal Condoms?

Female Condoms are condoms designed to be worn by those with vaginas and are a valuable option for those who want to prevent sexually transmitted infection or unintended pregnancy.

The Female Condom (also known as ‘internal condom’) is a soft, loose-fitting plastic pouch that lines the vagina and has a soft ring at each end. The ring at the closed end is used to put the device inside the vagina and holds it in place, while the other ring stays outside the vagina and partly covers the vulva. They’ll often come lubricated and are made from polyurethane or nitrile, making them 40% stronger than latex condoms. As an added bonus, polyurethane transfers heat readily which will allow the user to feel their partner on a new level if all they’ve previously used are latex condoms.

Unlike the traditional condom, the female condom gives users the control they need when it comes to applying and removing the product, they also have the advantage of not requiring a partner to maintain an erection during use to keep it in place.

Alternative Uses

Although you don’t have to worry about getting pregnant when it comes to anal sex, there is still the possibility of contracting an STD/STI. This in mind, the internal condom can be a valuable asset. Insertion is the same as vaginal use, although I would highly suggest using a good lubricant before inserting it (the anus doesn’t self lubricate) to help make it more comfortable and further prevent possible tearing of the condom.

The Bad

Unfortunately the female condom does have its drawbacks; for starters it’s rather large and bulky, can often be heard during intercourse (a ‘crinkling’ noise that can be distracting), has a tendency to shift around during use (which may require re-positioning it), is higher in price compared to traditional condoms and isn’t the easiest product to apply/insert or remove.

Aside from that, because the outer ring sits outside the vaginal opening, some users may feel self-conscious about the appearance. Just keep in mind that traditional condoms can also be seen externally and with the various types available, be it ribbed, colored or otherwise, they certainly can make a penis look pretty funny – balances out the score a bit if you ask me.

Because of the above issues, I highly suggest practicing inserting and removing the product before attempting to use it with a partner. Not only will this hopefully make the process quicker and easier with time, but it will also allow you to feel confident and prepared when the moment arises.

Specs:

Length= 6.69 in.
Width= 3.15 in.
Thickness=.048mm .002 in.)
Outer ring dia.= 2.56 in.
Inner ring dia.= 1.97in.
Width: 3.70 inches
Length: 6.69 inches

Failure rate

The typical use of female condoms, which is the average way most people use them, has a failure rate of 21%. This means that 21 people out of every 100 will become pregnant during the first year of use.

Issues often found with ‘typical’ use:

  • Incorrect insertion or removal
  • Use of a non-compatible lubricant which can weaken the condom and cause it to break
  • Not checking that the product remained in place during intercourse
  • Re-using the condom (which is not suggested)
  • Using an expired condom (always check the expiration date)

With perfect use, which is what should be the aim, the percent drops dramatically to 5%. So 5 out of 100 will become pregnant with perfect use

Steps for perfect use can be found through this link.

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