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First Time Sex Tips: For The Guys

For The Beginner, For The Guys, How To's, Tips, Tricks and Suggestions

Since most of the questions I’m commonly asked tend to be from those not yet sexually active, coming in the form of messages stating personal fears, worries, anxieties and misconceptions regarding the subject, I thought I’d write a series of articles to help guide my readers and viewers through their “first time”.

In the first article of this series I touched on the basics, including the decision about what type of contraception you’ll be using, getting products like a good lubes to help make the experience more pleasurable, the motivation behind the choice to be sexually active and making sure to have a person you can speak with, both before and after, who might be able to help and offer guidance should you need it.

For those of you jumping into the series, I highly suggest you go back and read the first article as it will possibly give you the insight you need to decide if having sex is something you’re really ready for.

As for this article, I’m going to be covering tips and suggestions I think every male should know before engaging in sexual activity, hopefully making the experience the best it can be for both of the parties involved.

*I’ll be covering first time suggestions for females next.

Getting Ready

No matter if you’re male, female or transgendered, I highly suggest masturbation before sexual activity. While this may seem like an attempt to keep you from having sex, nothing could be farther from the truth. To me, the act of masturbation can play an vital role in preparing you for your first sexual experience; helping you to learn about your likes and dislikes, giving you insight to how long you can “last” before ejaculating or having an orgasm (since they’re not the same thing), teach you about the type of stimulation you need to become aroused and maintain and erection (firm, soft, gentle, rough etc) and get you in touch with your body so that you can clearly relay everything you’ve learned to your partner. That said, if there is one thing I can’t stress enough it’s that communication is key to a good sexual experience – especially for the first time, but I’ll get to that in a bit.

No Glove, No Love!

While I brought up the issue of contraception and STD/STI protection in the first article, I want to touch on it again just to make sure you’ve got the bases covered and are well prepared to avoid any costly mistakes you may live to regret.

For Sex With Females: there are quite a few options when it comes to hetero sex; condoms, the female condom, birth control pill, diaphragm, IUD, the patch, contraceptive foam/spermicide and the sponge to name a few. Unfortunately when it comes to products females have to take/apply you don’t have much control over the proper application, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to ask about them. After all, you need to take your safety and well being into consideration too.

On that note, the best advice I can give is to make sure you’re personally prepared by carrying a condom at all times, learn to apply it properly, find a size that fits comfortably by a brand you trust and never second guess your best judgment. If you’re about to engage in a sexual activity and don’t have a method of protection available, just don’t do it. Trust me, this is advice you might be thanking me for later.

For Sex with Males: unfortunately the number of available products for male on male sex is limited with the condom and spermicide (not recommended) being the only options. While you may not have to worry about a possible pregnancy, you should always assume the person your with has an STD/STI until you know otherwise. Better safe than sorry.

tip: if you’re unsure about what size condom you should be buying, I created a condom size chart which might help.

Tips & Suggestions

Some of the most common worries I hear from males are that they won’t last long enough, aren’t “big enough”, that they’ll do it “wrong” and finally that they’ll somehow accidentally hurt their partner(s) while in the process of trying to bring pleasure. If you can relate to any of the above, don’t worry, what you’re experiencing is normal, natural and definitely to be expected.

In an attempt to help I’ve listed some tips and suggestions that I hope will build your level of confidence as well, give you some insight regarding what to expect your first time around.

Relax

For as simple as it may sound, being relaxed is probably one of the best pieces of advice I can give. When you’re relaxed your heart rate is lower, stress levels decrease, the mind becomes still, you have a better chance of becoming aroused and any anxiety you may be feeling will usually drift away. Sure, it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal but maintaining a sense of calm will go a long way for helping you achieve an erection, as well as maintaining one.

My suggestion: When trying to stay relaxed you may think of the old standby techniques like breathing, maintaining a sense of calm and going with the flow will have the best effect, and to a certain extent, you’re right. However, I personally think being prepared in every aspect will make the biggest difference when it comes to the big day/night or otherwise. If you know how to put on a condom, what your likes and dislikes are, what type of stimulation you and your partner prefer, what type of lube you’ll be using and have talked about all your fears or anxieties with someone you trust, that will go a long way for helping you stay calm in the heat of the moment as you’ll already know what to expect and not be so caught off guard.

Communicate

As I said early in this article, communication is key. Not only can it make a big difference when it comes to easing tension, calming nerves, learning about each others preferences and erasing fears, but it also gives you the chance to talk about everything before it happens so that you know, each step of the way, whether what you’re doing is okay or if it’s going too far too fast.

My Suggestion: The suggestion here is actually very simple – talk to your partner about what your feeling/thinking and listen to their fears, concerns, questions and suggestions. While that part is very straight forward, being a good communicator also requires the ability to listen and hear what your partner is saying. If they tell you (in the moment) that what you’re doing hurts, is too fast, slow, deep, hard, soft, shallow, or otherwise – stop, listen to what they’re saying and ask what you could do differently. I know it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but listening to your partner can be the difference between pleasure and pain.

tip: if you’re partner says that they don’t want to do it anymore – even if it’s right in the middle – listen to them and stop. It’s the respectful thing to do. More than that, if you don’t it will more than likely classify as rape and place you in a situation you’ll likely live to regret.

Be Gentle

Rough, passionate sex is great, but pushing too far too fast is a whole other thing. In fact, most people would probably be surprised by the amount of messages I get from viewers saying they don’t like sex with their partner because “he just shoves it in”, or that their partner won’t have sex with them because they accidentally hurt them once. It’s a common mistake, one that can very easily be avoided.

My suggestion: I don’t know how else to say this other than – don’t just ram it in there! Yes, I do know how funny that may sound but it sadly happens far more often than I care to admit. To help make insertion easier I suggest helping to get your partner ready by using lots of lube, making sure there is enough foreplay for them to be aroused, and inserting something small first (with their permission) like a little dildo, vibrator, finger or other object that’s safe for use (if it’s for anal use make sure it has a base so it doesn’t get “lost”).

Once inserted don’t start thrusting it about, don’t poke or prod at them, and don’t act like your a doctor giving your partner an examination ~~unless your role playing~~. Instead, just let the item your using sit in place so that your partner can get used to the feeling of having something inside, while also allowing the muscles to relax and possibly “stretch out” a bit. When your partner is ready you can remove the device and slowly try to insert yourself. If it doesn’t happen the first time you try don’t worry, it’s common, normal and happens to even the most sexually experienced folks. Time and patience are your friends here, not a forceful jamming. It’s like the old saying goes – “if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again”.

tip: for those of you engaging in first time anal sex I wrote an article and created a video specifically covering the topic which you might find helpful.

Go Slow

Contrary to what most people think going fast and hard isn’t a requirement for “great sex”. In fact, it’s usually the exact opposite, especially if the person on the receiving end is a virgin as well. By going slow you give the person you’re having sex with the chance to get used to the feeling, without tensing up because they feel like their having sex with a jack rabbit on speed. While it may not seem like a very big deal, going slow can cause their muscles to relax and make penetration easier for both of you. not to mention possibly even bringing them to a heightened level of arousal in the process.

My suggestion: If you can, do your best to keep a steady rhythm going, one that is comfortable for both of you and feels good. If it’s too slow and not offering any stimulation slowly speed up, remembering to ask your partner every so often if it’s okay for them. Keep going until you find a speed that you both like and stick with it. Lastly, try to remember that you’re having sex with someone, not running a race. No one is going to clock you for the fastest time and it’s probably better if you don’t come first.

Expect the Worst

While this might not seem that helpful I can guarantee that it is, especially considering that the worst thing you can think of may very well occur – what’s more, it’s normal, natural, common and for the most part happens to everyone. To help make my point let me just state that for every great “first time” story I’ve ever heard, there were at least anther 20 that were horrible, embarrassing or ended in a way that left one or both parties feeling like they “failed”. I know, it sucks.

My Suggestion: Be gentle with yourself, don’t take it too seriously and remember it’s your first time, not you’re hundredth. Just like riding a bike, learning to roller blade or playing a sport, being “good in bed” is something that comes with time, experience, learning, being open to change and willing to explore your opportunities. No matter how “perfect” you try to make it, I can almost guarantee something will go wrong. The more you expect that, the more able you’ll be in the moment to let it go, laugh it off, move on and not let it affect the moment.

Final Thoughts

No matter who you are your first time will most likely be scary, overwhelming, nerve wracking, exciting, intense and memorable. It’s supposed to be that way, it always has been.

Will you’re first time be what you expected? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time.

Will it be fantastic? Hopefully, though it seems first times rarely are.

Will it be something you always remember? I’d think so, which is why I suggest doing everything in your power to make it good, rather than something that left you wondering where you went wrong.

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Q & A ~ First Times

For The Beginner, Q & A

Since some of the more commonly asked questions I get have always been from those that are new to sexuality, sex and exploring their sexual selves, I figured it was time I answered in video format. For those of you looking for more detailed information I’ve also created a 3 part series based around “First Time Tips” that you can find in through the following links: Part 1 (general info), Part 2 (tips for guys), Part 3 (tips for girls). If you’re interested in other issues regarding ‘virginity’ I suggest you check this link.

I truly hope that between this video and all the other ‘beginner’ posts I’ve created you’ll be better equipped to deal with anything that comes your way.

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Sex Ed 102 Beginners Guide: Everything You Need To Know About The Hymen

For The Beginner, For The Ladies, Sex Ed 102

Contrary to what most of us grew up believing, the hymen is not a flat piece of skin covering the opening of the vagina only to be torn apart or punctured while having sex for the first time. If that were true, there would be no way for menstrual blood to exit the vagina during a period. For all its fabled mystery, the hymen is a body part like any other.

Having said that, hymens come in many shapes and sizes; some are thick and some are thin, some have tiny punctures while others are one singular hole, some look as if they have a series of tears in them, others look like they’ve been split down the middle, and some aren’t born with one at all. That’s just the beginning. Like all body parts, each hymen is unique to the person that owns it.

For those new to sex positive education, interested in learning about their body or the bodies of others, this post should cover everything you need to know about the hymen.

What is the Hymen?

The hymen is a thin membrane made of elastic tissue that partially covers the vaginal opening in some people, and its appearance can vary widely from person to person. Contrary to many myths, the hymen doesn’t serve a specific biological function. It is simply a small part of our anatomy and, for some, it may gradually thin or change with physical activities such as exercise, tampon use, or sexual intercourse. Over time, many hymens become stretched or naturally wear down, while for others, they remain more intact.

What does your hymen look like?

If you’re curious about what your hymen looks like, following these steps should make the process much easier:

What you’ll need: a mirror, preferably one that sits on a stand (if you can get one that magnifies, even better), a place you feel comfortable where you have some privacy, and a flashlight.

Prop yourself up against something stable while sitting on the floor (a bed, wall, couch – something that wont shift) and spread your legs so that your comfortable and able to lean forward (this will allow you to look in the mirror closer if need be).

Position the mirror between your legs so you have a full view of your genitals.

Once comfortable, slowly spread the lips of your vulva (labia majora and minora) with one of your free hands.

When looking keep in mind the hymen is usually located 1 – 2 cm inside the vaginal opening, not deep inside the vaginal canal.

If you find a thin layer of skin with a small hole (or holes) present, your hymen is most likely ‘intact’. If you notice small traces of broken skin surrounding your vaginal opening, you may have already stretched or torn your hymen.

Regardless of what you find it’s normal, natural, and nothing to be freaked out by. If you do happen to have any concerns try talking to a parent, trusted knowledgeable adult or friend, doctor, searching trusted sex education sites online, or reading informational sex ed books.

Different Types of Hymens

The hymen comes in various shapes and structures, all of which are natural and normal. Here are some of the common types:

Annular Hymen: This is the most common type, with a ring-shaped opening that partially surrounds the vaginal entrance. It allows space for menstruation or other secretions to pass through.

Imperforate or Microperforate Hymen: Less commonly, the hymen may have very small or no openings. In cases of an imperforate hymen, menstrual blood can’t pass through, which can lead to discomfort and may require a minor medical procedure to open the tissue.

Crescent-Shaped Hymen: Shaped like a crescent moon, this type of hymen partially covers the lower portion of the vaginal opening and tends to be a bit more flexible.

Cribriform Hymen: This type of hymen has multiple small openings across the membrane, resembling a sieve or mesh. Menstrual blood can still pass through, but a cribriform hymen may sometimes cause discomfort and require medical attention if it restricts the flow.

Septate Hymen: In this type, the hymen has a thin strip of extra tissue down the middle, creating two small openings instead of one. Some people with a septate hymen choose to have the tissue surgically separated if it causes discomfort.

It’s crucial to remember that hymens can vary greatly in appearance and elasticity, and each type is a natural variation of anatomy.

Below are examples of various hymens which can act as a guide to help you find yours.

Understanding Hymen-Related Experiences

Knowing more about the hymen can help reduce anxiety and debunk misconceptions. For those concerned about first-time intercourse, remember that relaxation, open communication, and using lubricant can help ensure a more comfortable experience. If you’re experiencing discomfort due to your hymen, particularly with certain types like the septate or imperforate hymen, speaking with a healthcare professional can provide helpful guidance.

It’s also worth noting that the concept of “virginity” as related to the hymen is largely a cultural or societal construct. The state of someone’s hymen doesn’t determine their value, identity, or sexual experience. This is an important aspect of body autonomy and accepting that everyone’s anatomy – and their experiences with it – are unique.

Dispelling Common Hymen Myths

Myths about the hymen are widespread and often tied to ideas about virginity, sexual experience, and purity. Here are a few myths, along with the facts:

Myth: The hymen “breaks” during first-time intercourse.
Fact: The hymen stretches, and while some people may feel discomfort or notice a bit of bleeding, many won’t. The “breaking” or “popping” narrative is misleading, as hymens can stretch gradually over time and aren’t always impacted by intercourse.

Myth: Bleeding Means Virginity
Fact: On that note, bleeding during first-time intercourse is often associated with “virginity” or the idea that the hymen must bleed when “broken.” The truth is that bleeding can happen for various reasons, including lack of lubrication, tension, or other factors, and doesn’t necessarily correlate with the state of the hymen. Some people bleed, and others don’t, so it’s not a reliable measure of virginity or past sexual experiences.

Myth: The Hymen’s Presence Confirms Virginity
Fact: This is one of the most pervasive myths, but the hymen is not a definitive indicator of sexual activity. Many activities, like sports, tampon use, or simple stretching, can alter or stretch the hymen. Some people are even born with very little or no hymenal tissue at all. Virginity is a personal concept that isn’t determined by anatomy.

Myth: Pregnancy is Impossible if the Hymen is Intact
Fact: It’s possible to become pregnant even if the hymen remains intact. Sperm can reach the vaginal canal if semen enters the area, regardless of the hymen’s presence. Thus, birth control and protection are important for sexually active individuals, even if penetration hasn’t occurred.

Myth: All Hymens Look The Same
Fact: Hymens are as unique as fingerprints. There is no single “normal” appearance, and the variations are just part of the body’s natural diversity.

Myth: A Hymen That Hasn’t Changed Means It’s Intact
Fact: Hymenal tissue changes over time for various reasons, and its appearance isn’t an indicator of sexual experience or any particular state.

Final Thoughts

Understanding that the hymen is just one part of anatomy, with natural variations and no definitive link to virginity or sexual experience, can make conversations about sex, pleasure, and health more open and supportive. If you have questions about your own body or notice discomfort, it’s always a good idea to reach out to a healthcare provider. Remember, anatomy varies from person to person, and taking the time to understand these differences can empower us all to approach sexual health with confidence, respect, and a sense of curiosity.

Hopefully through watching the video your questions will be answered and you’ll gather some valuable insight about the hymen, along with changing your views on the perceptions associated with it.

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Sex Ed 102 Q&A: Should I Shave My Pubic Hair?

For The Beginner, Q & A, Sex Ed 102

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Sex Ed 102 Q&A: Should I Shave My Pubic Hair?

Question:

I just started getting hot and heavy with a partner after being single for 3 years and keep finding magazine articles on pubic hair and shaving, which is really intimidating. I’ve never done it so I’m not sure what’s “right” or “wrong”, hell, I haven’t even figured out if I’d like the way I look totally bare down there! I’m totally lost! Should I shave my pubic hair?

Do you have any suggestions or advice that could help?

Answer

Before I get into it I just want to stress that shaving your pubic hair is not required or necessary for an intimate, fun, and respectful sexual experience. It’s a choice that only you can make and shouldn’t feel pressured to do, whether by society or a partner.

When it comes to maintaining pubic hair, everyone is different. Like clothing or hairstyle, it’s a matter of individual preference. Some people don’t do anything with their pubic hair, leaving it to grow naturally. Some only remove hair when they’ll be wearing a bathing suit or engaging in intimate activities, and some remove hair regularly as part of their routine. As I said, it’s a decision that’s totally up to you.

One thing I do want for you to keep in mind is that there are no real health benefits associated with removing pubic hair, it’s purely aesthetic.

If you do decide to bare it all these are some tips and tricks I think you might find helpful.

What Is Pubic Hair and Why Do We Have It?

Pubic hair, like other body hair, grows naturally as a part of puberty. It serves as a barrier that helps to reduce friction during activities, traps bacteria, and helps to wick away sweat to keep the area clean and comfortable. Some believe it also plays a role in pheromone release, enhancing natural scent as part of human attraction. While pubic hair isn’t necessary for health, some people appreciate it for its protective function and its role in maintaining a balanced environment.

Ultimately, whether you choose to keep it or remove it is entirely up to you and what feels most comfortable.

First a few Warnings…

Never use the old-fashioned straight edge razor. It is unsuitable for pubic hair removal and can be dangerous.
Never use a razor on dry bare skin, it can cause razor burn and be especially painful.
Don’t share your razors, this can spread skin infections.
Never use a hair removal cream like Nair, it can get into the vagina and cause serious pain not to mention cause possible infections.

Tips and Tricks for a Smooth, Comfortable Shave

When it comes to shaving pubic hair, a few extra steps can make all the difference in achieving a smooth, irritation-free experience.

First and foremost, invest in a high-quality razor designed for sensitive areas – ideally, one with multiple blades, a pivoting head, and a lubricating strip. Cheap, disposable razors can lead to nicks, razor burn, and redness, especially in such a delicate area, so it’s worth spending a little more to keep your skin safe.

Before you begin shaving, consider trimming longer hairs down to about a quarter of an inch with small scissors or an electric hair trimmer. This will prevent the razor from becoming clogged and ensure that it glides more easily over the skin.

To help soften the coarse pubic hair further, soak in a warm bath or stay in the shower for a few extra minutes before shaving. The heat and moisture will open up the hair follicles and make the hair more pliable, reducing the chances of pulling or tugging during shaving.

When you’re ready to shave, apply a generous amount of shaving foam or gel specifically designed for sensitive skin. Avoid using ordinary soap, as it can dry out the skin and doesn’t provide the same level of moisture retention. A good alternative to shaving gel is a quality hair conditioner, which will also help soften the hair and allow the razor to glide smoothly. Let the shaving product sit on the area for a few minutes before you start to give it time to soften the hair further.

To minimize irritation, make sure your razor blade is sharp and fresh, and only make each pass when there’s enough shaving foam on the skin to prevent friction. Rinse the razor frequently to remove hair and product build-up, which can dull the blade and increase the risk of razor burn. Shave in the direction of hair growth for a gentler experience, and avoid pressing too hard – let the razor do the work.

After you’ve finished shaving, rinse thoroughly and pat the area dry with a soft towel. To soothe the skin and reduce irritation, apply an unscented oil like Vitamin E or jojoba oil, or an alcohol-free moisturizer to hydrate and calm the skin.

Don’t Forget Exfoliation!

Exfoliating regularly is key to keeping the skin smooth and preventing pesky ingrown hairs. Aim to exfoliate the pubic area gently 1–2 times a week with a soft washcloth or a gentle exfoliating scrub designed for sensitive skin. Exfoliating removes dead skin cells that can clog pores, allowing hair to grow out more freely. If you’re new to exfoliation in this area, start with a very mild product and light pressure to avoid any irritation.

These extra steps not only enhance comfort and smoothness but can also help keep your skin looking and feeling its best over time.

Other Options for Pubic Hair Removal

If shaving isn’t your style, there are plenty of other methods to explore, each with its own benefits, challenges, and level of commitment. Here are some popular alternatives, along with a few insights into what you can expect from each one:

Waxing:

Waxing is a go-to choice for many because it removes hair from the root, which leaves the area smooth and hair-free for longer than shaving. While waxing can be painful at first, especially in sensitive areas, many people find that the discomfort lessens over time as they get used to it. Waxing results typically last anywhere from one to six weeks, depending on how quickly your hair grows. You can go to a professional for a salon-quality wax, or if you’re feeling bold, at-home waxing kits are widely available online. Just be sure to read instructions carefully and prepare your skin beforehand to minimize pain and irritation.

Electrolysis:

This is a method for those considering a more permanent solution. Electrolysis uses a fine needle to deliver an electric current into each hair follicle, which destroys it at the root. Usually performed by a professional, electrolysis can take multiple sessions – often six or more – to achieve full hair removal in an area. It can be costly and time-consuming, but it’s also highly effective. For those who want an at-home option, there are personal electrolysis devices, although these may be less powerful and slower than professional treatments.

Epilators:

An epilator (pictured right), is a handheld device that works like a supercharged tweezer, pulling multiple hairs out by the root in one go. It’s definitely a method that takes a bit of bravery, as it can be quite painful, especially in sensitive areas. However, for those who can handle it, epilation can keep you hair-free for weeks at a time. If you’re considering trying an epilator, make sure to look for a model that’s designed for sensitive areas, and keep in mind that results and pain levels vary from person to person.

* I actually tried using an epilator once, and I’ll never do it again. Granted that was years ago and technology has definitely advanced, but still. That one time was enough.

Laser Hair Removal:

This method uses concentrated light to target and destroy hair follicles. Laser hair removal is typically faster and less painful than electrolysis, though several sessions are required to achieve long-lasting results. While the effects aren’t always permanent, many people find that hair grows back finer and more slowly over time. Laser treatments are generally offered at clinics, though at home laser hair removal devices (pictured left), are also available. As with any permanent hair removal method, it’s a good idea to research carefully and consult with a professional if you’re unsure.

Stencils and Styling:

Not everyone wants to remove all their pubic hair, and that’s where styling options like trimming or stencils come in. With stencils specifically designed for pubic hair, you can shape and style the area in a way that feels both fun and comfortable. This option gives you control over how much hair to keep while adding a touch of creativity. For trimming, you can use scissors or an electric trimmer designed for sensitive areas, which provides a clean, maintained look without the potential irritation of complete removal.

No matter what method you choose, remember to research properly, start slow and see how your skin reacts, adjust your methods as needed, and care for your skin before, during, and after each session.

Final Thoughts

Choosing to remove or maintain pubic hair is a matter of personal preference, and there’s no right or wrong choice. Your comfort, health, and personal expression come first. By understanding the pros and cons of each option and following some simple do’s and don’ts, you can find an approach that feels best for you. Whether you decide to go natural, trim, or remove it all, what matters most is feeling empowered and comfortable in your own body.

So that’s pretty much it. Hopefully between the video and written content you’ll be shaving your hair like a pro… or maybe you’re totally comfortable with it as is, and if that’s the case more power to you!

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Sex Ed 102 Beginners Guide: Enhancing Intimacy with Games & More!

Couples Toys & Games, For The Beginner

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Two of the questions I’m asked most often, especially by couples who have been together for a while, are “how can I have more fun in the bedroom?” and “we’ve been together so long that the sex has become mundane, is there anything I can use to incorporate in our sex life that might help to spice it up a bit?”

While there are a lot of answers to those questions, I personally think one of the most fun ways of adding some “spice” to the bedroom is to take some time perusing online and picking out some sexy but fun goodies to play with. They don’t have to be expensive or “luxurious”, just something both of you would like to try.

That said, since there are hundreds upon hundreds of products on the market I thought I’d share my fave items, j

Products featured in the video:

Sexy Vouchers & “Scratch & Wins”

Sexy couples’ vouchers or coupons are a fun and intimate way to add excitement and spontaneity to a relationship. These vouchers and coupon books often include a variety of playful or romantic activities that partners can “redeem” from each other, such as a sensual massage, a date night, or a fantasy role-play session.

They allow couples to explore their desires in a lighthearted way, making it easy to express and act on romantic or sexual fantasies without pressure. Sexy vouchers, coupons, and couples scratch cards are not only a creative gift idea but also a means of deepening connection, encouraging communication, and keeping the spark alive in the relationship. They can be tailored to each couple’s unique dynamic, making them a personalized and thoughtful gesture.

If you want to add a little extra fun try slipping them into your partners pocket, wallet, purse etc then call or text and ask if they found their ‘surprise’.

Furry Handcuffs and Blindfold

Furry handcuffs are a playful and visually appealing addition to bedroom activities, often used to introduce light bondage or enhance power dynamics in a fun and comfortable way. The soft, plush fur covering the metal cuffs adds a layer of comfort while still maintaining the excitement of restraint, making them ideal for beginners interested in exploring BDSM or couples looking to add variety to their intimate experiences. The fur also reduces the risk of skin irritation or discomfort, allowing users to focus on the sensual experience.

Products like this can add an element of anticipation and trust to play, helping partners deepen their connection and experiment with new levels of intimacy in a safe, consensual manner. They’re easy to use, usually have a safety release lock (so you don’t get stuck), come in a wide variety of colours and types, furry, sparkly, leather, mesh, metal etc, and are relatively inexpensive costing anywhere between $4 and $30.

Another great addition to bedroom play is the use of masks. Of course when it comes to this type of play you can always get creative and use something from around the house rather then making a new purchase. I’ve often found that things like scarves, neck ties, sleeping masks, and towels can be used for limiting sight. Just make sure that if you’re using something from around the house that you are able to take it off in a hurry, should you need to.

Erotic Dice and Cards

If you’re looking for something relatively inexpensive, very easy to use, quite discreet (considering you can hide them in a drawer, box, glass or another other small compartment) the inclusion of erotic dice is possibly the best fit! They come in a variety of options, can be used when combined with another set and are usually very cheap costing anywhere from $3 to $30.

As for fun and/or erotic card games, there are many on the market that are specifically designed to bring fun, playfulness, “spice” and something new to the bedroom…or any other room in the house. Like most things on the market I suggest you shop around until you find a deck (and game) that you really like, both in regard to quality of the cards and what they are intended to be used for.

*One quick suggestion when it comes to cards, look for ones that are laminated as the spilling of beverages or lube can often ruin a set.

Flirt, Sex Up The Night Game

*UPDATE: sadly this kit was discontinued a year ago and I’m legitimately sad about it.

I purchased this little kit quite a few years back and totally fell in love with it!

Not only is it fun, easy to use, inexpensive (considering everything you get), playful and creative but it’s also packed into a fun little case that you can use for storage.

The kit contains 4 cards with a synopsis of the girl you are and the scene you’re going to act out.

For each scene there is a prop that comes with to help get you into character and your partner in the mood.

For those of you that are interested in it or just want more info before purchasing it, I previously did a video review that can be found here for your viewing enjoyment.

Striptease Kit: A Guide to the Art of Striptease

Last, but definitely not least is the Striptease Kit: everything you need to take it off!

You don’t need a brass pole in your living room, you don’t need to be a professional dancer, and you certainly don’t need a perfect body. All you need are a few key moves, a couple of props, and a little practice. This saucy little kit holds all the accoutrements and information you’ll need to pull off a tantalizing ‘tease. You’ll be vamping it up in no time at all.

Includes: 48-page illustrated guide, 2 red sequined pasties with adhesive, Sheer black scarf, Body glitter, 10 fold-out cards with fully illustrated routines.

Personally I love this kit! I can`t say enough about it and recommend it to pretty much anyone that is interested in dancing for their partner.

The kit is fun, easy to use, gives you great ideas and even comes with props to help you have more fun! What I like most is the little book it comes with that’s filled with information to help make you feel comfortable in your own skin and works wonders for building confidence. Since I got mine I’ve had hours of fun with it and still love it like it was the first day I opened the box! Seriously, you wont be disappointed!

To watch my video review of the Striptease kit check this page.

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