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Sex Ed 102 Beginners Guide: 5 Easy Sexual Positions

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Sex Ed 102 Beginners Guide: 5 Easy Sexual Positions

Exploring sexual positions can be a fun and rewarding part of intimacy with your partner. But building a sexual repertoire takes patience, curiosity, and a willingness to adapt to each other’s needs. Whether you’re new to sex or simply looking to add variety to your experiences, understanding different positions can help you and your partner connect more deeply and discover what feels best for both of you. This guide covers five easy sexual positions, their pros and cons, and some helpful tips for beginners.

Classic Missionary Position

The Missionary position is a timeless classic for a reason. Its simplicity and versatility make it a go-to choice for beginners and seasoned lovers alike. Perfect for close connection, this position is all about intimacy and shared moments.

How To Do It: While there are many variations on the missionary theme, during classic missionary, one partner lies on their back while the other partner lies on top, face-to-face (as pictured right). This setup allows for close physical contact and eye contact. It’s one of the most recognizable and beginner-friendly positions.

Missionary works well for establishing emotional and physical intimacy, offering a natural flow and control balance. Its straightforward nature makes it a favourite for many, particularly for deep penetration and its compatibility with adjustments to heighten sensations. Don’t let its simplicity fool you – it can be incredibly satisfying.

Pros:

  • Straightforward and easy to transition into without needing gymnastic skills.
  • Encourages emotional intimacy through eye contact, kisses, and touch.
  • Offers flexibility with subtle tweaks, like shifting angles for different sensations.

Cons:

  • Can feel repetitive if used exclusively, making variety key to keeping things fresh.
  • The partner on top might find their arms or back feeling the burn after a while, especially during longer sessions.

Tips: Adding a pillow under the bottom partner’s lower back isn’t just for aesthetics; it shifts the angle slightly, often enhancing sensations for both. If things get too intense or if the rhythm feels off, take a moment to adjust and communicate.

 


Cowgirl Position

If you’re looking for a position that empowers and excites, Cowgirl might be your new best friend. This versatile position puts the partner on top in control, making it perfect for exploring angles and rhythms that work best for you.

How To Do It: One partner lies on their back while the other straddles them, facing forward.  This position gives the person on top complete control over depth, angle, and rhythm, making it great for personalizing the experience to their preferences. The position also fosters an empowering sense of confidence for the partner on top, as they guide the pace and intensity. For the partner below, it offers a comfortable and visually engaging experience.

Pros:

  • Empowers the partner on top to set the pace and angle.
  • Provides opportunities for visual connection and exploration.
  • Ideal for clitoral stimulation.

Cons:

  • Requires stamina from the partner on top, which can lead to fatigue.
  • May be less comfortable for those with knee or hip issues, especially during longer sessions.

Tips: Use a firm bed or surface for stability, and try leaning forward or back to explore different angles of stimulation. Incorporate hand support on the partner below’s chest or shoulders to ease some strain. If stamina becomes an issue, the partner on the bottom can assist with gentle upward thrusts to share the effort.


Spooning Position

Sometimes, you just want to keep things cozy. The Spooning position is all about relaxed intimacy and connection, making it an excellent choice for those quieter, more tender moments, or for those with limited mobility.

How To Do It: Both partners lie on their sides, facing the same direction, with one partner positioned behind the other. This position is perfect for slow, intimate connection and works well for a relaxed pace. It’s also great for partners who enjoy cuddling. The angle can be adjusted slightly for deeper penetration, and it allows for gentle movements that can feel soothing and sensual.

Pros:

  • Comfortable and low-effort, making it ideal for lazy mornings or evenings.
  • Allows for close physical intimacy and skin-to-skin contact.
  • Good for people with limited mobility or energy.

Cons:

  • May not allow for as deep penetration compared to other positions.
  • Requires some practice to find the right alignment for both partners.

Tips: Adjust the angle by having the partner in front bend their top leg slightly forward. Adding a small pillow between knees can enhance comfort and create a better angle.


Doggy Style

For those seeking a more adventurous angle, Doggy Style offers a playful dynamic that’s anything but boring. This position is great for experimenting with depth and rhythm while keeping things exciting.

How To Do It: One partner positions themselves on their hands and knees while the other partner kneels behind them. This position allows for deep penetration and can stimulate the G-spot or prostate effectively. It also provides a different angle that many find exciting, and the dynamic can be playful or passionate, depending on the mood.

Pros:

  • Provides a new angle for stimulation that’s often very pleasurable.
  • Leaves hands free for additional stimulation (e.g., clitoral).
  • Encourages playful dynamics and exploration.

Cons:

  • May feel impersonal without modifications or additional connection.
  • Can be intense for beginners, especially if communication is lacking.

Tips: Place a pillow under the partner on their hands and knees for comfort and support. Communicate about depth, rhythm, and speed to ensure both partners are comfortable. Adding some gentle back rubs, kissing, or light spanking during the position can soften the dynamic and make it feel more intimate.


Seated Position

Looking for a way to blend comfort with closeness? The Seated position is your ticket to intimate connection without a lot of fuss. Perfect for deep eye contact and easy access to touch, this position keeps things simple and satisfying.

How To Do It: One partner sits on a sturdy surface (like a chair or edge of a bed) while the other partner straddles them, facing forward or backward.  This position emphasizes intimacy through eye contact and touch while allowing the seated partner to provide support. It’s also a great option for partners who enjoy a slower pace with room for playful interaction.

Pros:

  • Easy to maintain and comfortable for both partners.
  • Promotes intimacy and closeness through face-to-face interaction.
  • Great for controlled movements and rhythm.

Cons:

  • Requires a sturdy and comfortable seat to prevent wobbling.
  • Limited range of motion compared to other positions, which might feel restrictive for some.

Tips: Use a chair with a backrest for additional support and experiment with hip movements to find the most pleasurable rhythm. Incorporate kisses and touch to heighten the intimacy and connection.


Final Thoughts

Exploring sexual positions is about finding what feels good for both you and your partner. There’s no right or wrong way to connect intimately, and experimenting with these beginner-friendly options can help you discover new levels of pleasure and connection. Remember, the key to a fulfilling sexual experience is open communication, mutual consent, and prioritizing each other’s comfort and desires. Take your time, have fun, and enjoy the journey of learning together.

If you’d like to purchase products designed specifically to aide in your sexual experiences, be sure to check out any of my favourite online sex toy stores be it Pinkcherry, SheVibe, or Babeland. Make sure to shop around so you can get the best prices available.

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Sex Ed 102 Beginners Guide: The Clitoris


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Sex Ed 102 Beginners Guide: The Clitoris

Despite its importance, the clitoris has long been misunderstood or ignored in sexual education. In recent years, however, there has been a growing movement to raise awareness about its structure and function, emphasizing the importance of clitoral stimulation in sexual pleasure. Knowing how to properly stimulate the clitoris – whether through gentle touch, oral sex, or the use of sex toys – can empower individuals to take control of their sexual health and enjoy more fulfilling intimate experiences.

Ultimately, education about the clitoris is vital for dismantling the myths and misinformation that have historically shrouded cis female sexuality. As awareness continues to grow, the clitoris is becoming rightfully recognized as an essential part of anatomy that deserves attention, respect, and care in the pursuit of a satisfying sex life.

Anatomy of the Clitoris

The clitoris is a complex and highly sensitive organ, often misunderstood or underrepresented in discussions about cis female anatomy. To get a better idea of the structure of the vulva and complete clitoral network, please refer to the Healthline image below.

The Clitoral Hood

The clitoral hood is a fold of skin that covers and protects the sensitive glans of the clitoris, much like the foreskin on a penis. It acts as a protective layer, shielding the clitoris from constant friction or irritation, while still allowing for pleasurable stimulation during sexual arousal. The clitoral hood can vary greatly in size and shape from person to person, and during arousal, it often retracts slightly, exposing more of the clitoral glans for direct stimulation. This natural covering plays an important role in regulating sensitivity, as some individuals prefer indirect stimulation of the clitoris by massaging the hood, while others enjoy more direct contact.

The Glans/Clitoris

The clitoral glans is the small, external part of the clitoris that is visible at the top of the vulva, where the inner labia meet. Despite its small size, the glans has an astonishing concentration of nerve endings – around 8,000 – making it the most sensitive erogenous zone in the human body and a central focus of sexual pleasure. During arousal, the glans becomes engorged with blood, increasing its size and responsiveness to touch.

Although it is the only part of the clitoris visible externally, the glans is connected to a much larger internal structure that contributes to sexual sensation. Its primary function is to provide pleasure, and different individuals may prefer various types of stimulation to this sensitive area, whether through gentle touch, vibration, or pressure. However, this is only a small fraction of the clitoris.

Illustration by Cristie Wilson

The Crura/Corpus Cavernosum

The crura are the two internal, elongated branches of the clitoris that extend downwards from the clitoral glans, running along the sides of the vaginal canal. Made of erectile tissue, the crura become engorged with blood during sexual arousal, much like the glans, contributing to the swelling and increased sensitivity of the clitoral structure.

Though not visible externally, the crura play a significant role in sexual pleasure, providing a deeper sense of fullness and pressure when stimulated. They are part of the larger clitoral network, which works in unison to enhance arousal, making the crura an essential, though often overlooked, component of the female sexual anatomy.

Vestibular Bulbs

While not as widely recognized as the external clitoral glans, the vestibular bulbs are essential components of the clitoral anatomy. These bulbous masses of erectile tissue sit on either side of the vaginal opening, beneath the skin, and swell with blood during sexual arousal. Although not directly attached to the visible glans of the clitoris, they work in tandem with the internal crura and other parts of the clitoris to enhance sexual pleasure. The swelling of the vestibular bulbs can create a feeling of fullness and heighten sensitivity in the surrounding area, contributing to the overall sensation of arousal and pleasure.

Final Thoughts

Although there is no direct role in reproduction, the clitoris allows for a variety of pleasurable experiences.

Essentially, the clitoris is the focal point of sexual enjoyment for many, enabling us to explore and experience deep levels of pleasure and satisfaction.

By recognizing the importance of the clitoris in sexual pleasure and making space for conversations about it, we can develop a deeper understanding of our own bodies, or that of our partner(s), and enhance their sexual well-being.

And as conversations around sexual health continue to evolve, it’s essential to prioritize accurate and inclusive education about the clitoris. Shedding light on its purpose and importance helps to dismantle outdated myths, ensuring that more of us are equipped with the knowledge to embrace our own pleasure and advocate for it in our relationships.

Whether through solo exploration or shared intimacy, understanding the clitoris is key to unlocking deeper sexual fulfillment and fostering a positive, informed approach to sexuality.

For those looking for more information on ways of exploring what feels good and what doesn’t, whether with a partner or solo, my clitoral stimulation guide for beginners might be a helpful place to start.

If you’d like to purchase products designed specifically for clitoral stimulation be sure to check out any of my favourite online sex toy stores be it Pinkcherry, SheVibe, or Babeland. Don’t forget to shop around to make sure you’re getting the best prices available.

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Dear Ronda Rousey, Just Say Yes To Lube!

Dear Ronda Rousey, Just Say Yes To Lube!
credit: getty images/maxim/kara_sutra reviews

If you follow the sex positive community on twitter, you probably saw a thread of angry tweets recently pop up in your feed with the hashtag #tweetyourlube, created by in support of Rachel Kramer BusselsSalon article, where she refuted some terrible sex advice UFC Bantamweight Champion, Ronda Rousey, had to give a male reader.

In the Maxim​ Magazine piece, Ronda Rousey​ was asked, “What should a guy ALWAYS do in bed? What should a guy NEVER do in bed?”, to which she answered…

What should a guy always do? Take his time. In general, a girl takes a minute. He needs to get her ready. You should never need lube in your life. If you need lube, than you’re being lazy…and you’re not taking your time.

While I can appreciate what she’s trying to suggest – that great sex comes when you’re present in the moment, not rushing, and enjoying your partner – her answer was ignorant, disappointing, and very unacceptable.

It’s this kind of uninformed advice that further purports the misguided beliefs that a.) if a person can’t get wet it’s because their partner is doing something wrong and failing them, b.) their partner is responsible for their sexual arousal, and/or c.) lube generally isn’t necessary.

I’m sorry Ronda, but no. Just no. This is just not okay.

Arousal and Desire: Knowing The Difference

According to Ms. Rousey’s answer, all it takes for a person to get wet is time, more time, and a bunch of foreplay.

Unfortunately this isn’t exactly how things work.

What she failed to understand is that there is a difference between the processes of arousal and desire.  Arousal (the cause of lubrication, we’ll get to that below), is an involuntary physiological bodily response to a type of stimulus.  Whereas the desire to have sex is often based a psychological need or want for sexual intimacy. While the two are often deemed as being one in the same, they are two separate experiences.

Furthermore, although arousal and desire often work together, they can also operate independently, for instance; your partner may want to have sex but their body may not respond the way they need/want (i.e. lack of wetness), or in the opposite case, they may not want to have sex but their body could be responding (as is the case with some rape victims who experience orgasm during the attack).

Sure, a lack of foreplay could play a big role in lowered sexual arousal (and subsequent wetness) but there are a variety of other factors that could have an impact as well. Simply suggesting that it comes down to foreplay, time, and more time, is highly ignorant.

But I digress.

You Are Responsible For Your Orgasm, Not Your Partner

come as you are bookSince 2007 I’ve received countless emails from my cis male readers/viewers asking for help when it came to stimulating their cis female partner. In almost every situation the reader felt like he was doing something wrong because his partner couldn’t get wet, wasn’t fully aroused, or couldn’t orgasm no matter how hard he tried.

Unlike Ms. Rouseys advice that he spend more time on stimulation, my first suggestion was often to open the lines of communication; find out what type of touch she preferred, where she liked to be touched, the amount of pressure she needed, and where she was most sensitive to sexual stimulation. Without this information, no amount of help I had to offer would be of any use.

Yes, a person should take their time, but if you’re not doing what your partner likes or needs, it’s pointless. And spending more time doing it certainly isn’t going to help.

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 1.21.54 PMIn all honesty, this is the kind of thing that makes me ridiculously angry. Unfortunately societal standards have often dictated that it takes a strong, steadfast, virile man to get a female off. That her orgasm is his responsibility. That she is dependent on him and his skills to ‘get her ready’. That if she doesn’t orgasm it’s his fault because he finished too quickly, or didn’t take his time, or wasn’t focused, or wasn’t a good lover, or didn’t know what he was doing, or didn’t anticipate her needs, or couldn’t read her body language, or was ‘lazy‘, or…

I could go on, but the point I’m trying to make is that if you can’t orgasm or become aroused with your partner it’s your responsibility to learn about your body and communicate what you need.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that speaking about sex, or during sex for that matter, is an easy or comfortable thing to do. With all the shame surrounding the subject, our bodies, and sexuality in general, I know how hard and complicated it can be. But if you don’t take ownership of your pleasure and share your needs, you can’t fault your partner when they do try to please you but miss the mark.

A Bit About Vaginal Lubrication, Or Lack Thereof

Before I go on, I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to give a quick run down on vaginal lubrication. That way we’ll all be completely clear on how what Ms. Rousey is suggesting isn’t exactly the best advice…

Vaginal Lubrication: The Coles Notes

During sexual arousal the ‘female’ body experiences a variety of physical changes, the vulva and clitoris swell, the nipples become erect, muscular tension pulls the uterus upwards causing the vaginal canal to extend (both in length and width – called ‘tenting‘), and the vaginal walls fill with blood in a process called vasocongestion (also how erections occur). This vasocongestion causes increased pressure which, in turn, causes the fluid within the blood serum to be pushed through the tissues of the vaginal wall… thus, the vagina becomes lubricated.

Vaginal fluid has other functions besides making it easier for a penis, finger, or sex toy to enter; it decreases pressure and reduces the amount of friction that occurs (potentially saving the vaginal walls from tearing), limits any pain that may be associated with intercourse (allowing for a more comfortable experience), while also changing the chemical nature of the vagina, causing it to become more alkaline and less acidic (making it more hospitable to sperm).

The amount of lubrication created varies from person to person, may be different one day from the next, and changes based on any number of factors.

On that note, the addition of a good lube, whether because a person needs or wants to, certainly isn’t anything to feel bad or embarrassed about. When everything is said and done, it’s a fantastic way of helping things along, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Causes of Vaginal Dryness

Contrary to what Ms. Rousey implied, vaginal dryness is not always caused by a partners lack of time spent engaging in foreplay. Instead, there are many other reasons lack of lubrication could be occurring, including but not limited to;

  • menopause/perimenopause (lowered estrogen levels are often experienced during this time which affect lubrication)
  • health issues (diabetes, hypertension, polycystic ovarian syndrome, heart and kidney disorders, among others)
  • skin irritations/allergic reactions (soaps, dyes, laundry detergents and dryer sheets, body washes, perfumes, etc. can have an irritating and drying effect on the skin/genitals which could affect natural lubrication)
  • Summers Eve Douchepregnancy, having recently given birth, breastfeeding (shifts in estrogen/progesterone levels, possible lack of genital sensitivity requiring, tenderness due to childbirth, lowered estrogen during to lactation/breastfeeding can all have a negative impact on vaginal lubrication)
  • douching (disturbs the normal chemical balance of the vagina, often leading to irritation and vaginal dryness)
  • alcohol abuse/alcohol use (alcohol has a dehydrating affect on the body which could lead to vaginal dryness, it also acts as a depressant on the nervous system affecting sexual arousal and orgasm)
  • smoking cigarettes (cigarettes can affect circulation and destroy estrogen which can affect arousal and vaginal lubrication)
As you can clearly see, there are many reasons a person may not become lubricated enough for comfortable intercourse. To imply that it simply comes down to a lack of foreplay, without acknowledging other causes, is an uninformed thing to suggest. To then take it one level further and also state that a person should “never need lube in their life” is just ignorant, rude, and insensitive. Ronda, you can do better.

Dear Ronda Rousey, Just Say Yes To Lube!

prod-naturalsLook, I get it, when a person reaches the point of popularity that Ronda Rousey has, the general public starts thinking that because they are experts on one thing (in her case, fighting), they must be experts on a variety of topics… and when they’re then made into sex symbols by the media, that usually comes with the added bonus that they’re assumed to be highly educated on all things sex. Before long they’re touting sex advice on widely read publications, and praised for it, even when the advice they’re offering could be detrimental to someones health, sense of self, or relationship.

Everything considered, I can’t help but sympathize with the readers who will take her words at face value, apply the suggestions she made, find they’ve had no difference (because she didn’t properly educate them), and feel bad about themselves, their partners, and the sex they’re having. Especially when all it might have taken is a bottle of good lube to help things along.

Like I said in the start of this post, I appreciate what she was trying to do with her answer, but I think she needs to take a step back, get some insight on how the body works and until she’s learned better, leave sex ed to those who know what they’re actually talking about.

Investing a bottle of good lube probably wouldn’t hurt her either. #dontknockittilyouvetriedit

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Sex Ed 102: The Female Sexual Response Cycle

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After posting the “Faking it” and “Help! I can’t orgasm” videos I was bombarded with questions from my cis female viewers in regard to orgasms; what they are, how to have them, the things that happen with your body before, during, and after an orgasm, as well as what’s “normal”.

Rather then send out hundreds of separate messages, I thought I’d create a video that explains how the female sexual response cycle works and hopefully help you have bigger and better orgasms in the process.

Understanding The Female Sexual Response Cycle

The female sexual response cycle is a complex series of physical and emotional changes that occur in response to sexual stimulation. Like the male sexual response cycle, it is commonly broken down into four distinct phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Each phase involves specific physical responses and plays a role in overall sexual satisfaction. However, the female sexual response cycle tends to be more varied and fluid, with greater individual differences in how women experience arousal and pleasure.

1. Excitement Phase

The excitement phase marks the beginning of sexual arousal and can be triggered by physical stimulation, psychological factors, or both. Sexual excitement in cis women involves increased blood flow to the pelvic area, which causes the clitoris, labia, and vaginal walls to swell and become more sensitive. Lubrication begins as fluid seeps through the walls of the vagina, which helps reduce friction during sexual activity. During this phase, the breasts may swell, and the nipples become erect due to increased blood flow.

This phase varies in length depending on a woman’s emotional state, level of attraction, and other external factors. A woman’s mood, stress levels, and comfort with her partner can all influence how quickly she enters the excitement phase. Arousal in women can sometimes be more gradual than in men, so taking time to build desire through foreplay can enhance the overall experience.

During this phase you may notice any, some, or all of the following: nipples becoming hard, becoming lubricated, separation and raising of the labia majora, increase in heart rate, flushing of the face and neck or body, heavier breathing, tensing of muscles, swelling of clitoris, increase in breast size, rise in blood pressure, clitoris becoming highly sensitive.

2. Plateau Phase

In the plateau phase, the physical and emotional arousal that began in the excitement phase intensifies. The clitoris becomes more engorged and sensitive, and the vaginal walls continue to swell as blood flow increases to the pelvic area. The vagina elongates and the inner part expands to prepare for potential penetration, a process known as “tenting.” Externally, the labia may darken in color due to increased blood flow, and muscle tension continues to build throughout the body, including in the thighs and abdomen.

During the plateau phase, breathing and heart rate increase, and the sensations of pleasure become more focused and intense. This phase can last for varying amounts of time, and the experience may fluctuate based on the type of stimulation and a woman’s individual response. Some women may hover in the plateau phase for an extended period, enjoying the buildup of tension and anticipation before progressing to orgasm, while others may move through it more quickly.

During this phase previous changes increase as well as the following; raising of the uterus to protect it from being hit by a thrusting object, opening of the cervix, vagina balloons to create a “seminal pool”, orgasmic platform develops.

3. Orgasm Phase

The orgasm phase is the climax of the sexual response cycle and is often characterized by a release of built-up sexual tension. During orgasm, rhythmic contractions of the pelvic muscles, including the muscles of the vagina and uterus, occur, creating intense feelings of pleasure. These contractions typically last a few seconds but may vary in intensity and duration from person to person. The number of contractions can range from five to twelve or more, depending on the individual and the circumstances.

Women can experience multiple orgasms without entering a refractory period, unlike men, allowing for continued arousal and pleasure. However, the intensity and frequency of orgasms can be influenced by emotional connection, comfort level, and external stimulation. Some women may experience orgasms from clitoral stimulation alone, while others achieve orgasm through vaginal or G-spot stimulation.

During this phase the body discharges all of the sexual tension experienced in previous stages and the following may be experienced; contractions begin in the vaginal walls, PC muscles, uterus, and rectum, facial contortions may happen, increased respiratory rate, increase in blood pressure, and possible squirting of vaginal fluids.

4. Resolution Phase

The resolution phase occurs as the body gradually returns to its pre-arousal state. Blood flow decreases, the swelling of the clitoris and vaginal tissues subsides, and the muscles relax. Some may feel a sense of relaxation or even euphoria during this phase, and if they have experienced orgasm, the tension in the body dissipates. If orgasm has not been reached, the resolution phase may involve lingering sexual tension and discomfort, sometimes referred to as “blue vulva,” though this is typically mild compared to the cis male experience of “blue balls.”

Importantly, unlike men, women do not have a refractory period that prevents immediate sexual re-arousal. This means that, under the right conditions, women can continue to be stimulated and experience additional orgasms without needing an extended recovery time.

During this phase the following physical reactions can be experienced; uterus descends from its “false” position, cervix dips into the seminal pool to access the semen, vagina returns to its normal size, clitoris descends to its normal position ,inner and outer lips return to normal size.

Conclusion

The female sexual response cycle is a dynamic and multifaceted process that involves physical, emotional, and psychological elements. Each phase – excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution – plays a key role in sexual pleasure and satisfaction. While the overall pattern is similar to the male sexual response cycle, women tend to experience greater variability in how they move through these phases, as arousal and response can differ significantly between individuals and situations.

Understanding the phases of the female sexual response cycle, and being aware of the factors that can influence arousal and pleasure, can help women and their partners create more fulfilling and satisfying sexual experiences. Emphasizing communication, emotional connection, and taking the time to explore individual preferences can enhance the overall sexual response and lead to more fulfilling intimacy.

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Sex Ed 102 Beginners Guide: Kegel Exercises for Vaginal Wellness

While there are many intimate accessories designed to make stimulating the g-spot exceptionally easy, I’m a firm believer that having a fit, healthy and strong vagina is still one of the most important factors when it comes to overall sexual enjoyment.

Just like any other muscle in the body, the PC muscles (or pubococcygeus muscles) need regular exercise to maintain their tone, functionality and overall health.

Not only does having strong PC muscles enhance g-spot stimulation, but it can also give you a more desirable grip during intercourse, help to control your bladder, make child birth easier, while also preventing incontinence as you age.

As for the sexual benefits, they’ve been known to help women learn to reach a g-spot orgasm, make their orgasms much more powerful, improve sexual arousal and possibly help make female ejaculation a bit more of a possibility.

*For those of you wondering, the PC Muscles are several layers of hammock-like muscles (found in both men and women) that are attached to the front, back and sides of the pelvic bones and stretch from the pubic bone to the tail bone. Along with other tissues, these muscles work to support the pelvic organs, including the uterus, bladder, small intestine and rectum.

pelvic musclesKegel Exercises for G-Spot Health

Since it may take patience, dedication and time to not only identify your pc muscles, but also learn how to contract and relax them, I thought I’d share some pointers to make practicing slightly easier:

Finding the right muscles: To find your pc muscles I suggest inserting a finger into your vagina and trying to squeeze the surrounding muscles (you should feel your vagina tighten and the pelvic floor move upward). Once you’ve done this successfully, you can relax your muscles and feel the pelvic floor return to the starting position. if that doesn’t work for you trying to stop the flow of urine when you urinate might be a better option. If you succeed, you’ve got the basics.

Doing Kegel exercises with a full bladder or while emptying your bladder can actually weaken the muscles, as well as lead to incomplete emptying of the bladder  – which may increases the risk of a urinary tract infection.

How To Strengthen Your Kegels w/ A Product

Thanks to the creation of different Kegel exercisers like Ben Wa Balls, Vaginal Barbells, Bio-Feedback devices and Duo Balls, strengthening the area has become much easier, and although the shape and size of such products may differ, using them is generally the same idea:

1.)  Relax your body and insert the product. If you find you’re having difficulty try adding a little bit of  lubrication  to help it/them glide in. You can insert them standing, with one leg up or while laying down. Do what’s comfortable for you.

2.)  Squeeze your PC muscles together to hold the product in place. If you notice that it feel like they’re slipping or  pushing down a little (while inside your vagina) don’t worry it’s normal.

3.)  Hold the product inside for about 10 minutes a day to strengthen your PC muscles. Once you’ve built the muscle up you can increase the length of time they are inserted.

4.)  When you’ve had enough and want it removed you’ve got quite a few options to your disposal including jumping up and down, coughing, bearing down as if you’re having a bowel movement, inserting lubricant to help them slide out or simply inserting one finger and gently trying to roll them out (I’ve done all of the above so I know they work, especially with Ben Wa Balls). Just keep in mind that they won’t get lost inside you, or your vagina.

 


Great Products for Kegel Exercise

Ben Wa Balls:

If there is one product that seems to have stood the test of time is these lovely little marble shaped metallic 2oz weighted balls. Smooth to the touch and easy to insert, Ben Wa Balls are crafted out of solid non porous and non tarnishing metal, making them body safe, compatible with any lube and very discreet. If silver isn’t your thing they also come in a variety of colors, sizes and weights, as well as body safe ABS plastic, rather than metal.  My suggestion if you go for metal, get some stainless steel kegel balls; they’re far more durable.

To use them simply insert one at a time and use your PC muscle to hold them in place (don’t worry, they won’t get lost in side you – promise!).  While you can wear them during your day to day activities I suggest you be a little careful, at least in the beginning. I know a few people who have had them fall out and roll down a pant leg while in public. (Definitely funny in retrospect or to read in an email, but not so fun in the moment – for the record, it doesn’t happen that often).

*If you’re new to Kegel exercises I suggest you try using something a bit larger to first, as it’ll likely be much easier to hold onto. Once you feel comfortable and ready to move to something a little harder to master give the Ben Wa Balls a try.

Specs: Circumference 2 1/4″, Diameter 3/4″, Weight 2oz (.13lbs)

Final Verdict: 4.5 out of 5 stars


Silicone Kegel Balls:

From the moment I saw the Lelo Luna Beads I loved them!

Not only do they come respectfully and professionally packaged but  they’re velvety smooth to the touch, firm and nicely weighted – not too heavy, nor too light. They’re also waterproof, made of high quality silicone so they’re non porous, hypo allergenic, hygienic, phthalate and latex free.

Rather than using a traditional string, the outer bulbous shells are connected via a thin piece of silicone that allows them to be very flexible and conform to your bodies shape and movements. As I said they are firm and have no squish or give to them, fortunately this isn’t necessarily a downfall as it makes inserting them very, very easy (though I still suggest using a good water based lubricant to help out).

Part of what makes these silicone K-Balls so amazing is the weighted ball contained inside each of the rounded shells; as you move they roll, bounce and ‘shake’ around, creating a whirling sensation inside you. It’s interesting to say the least.

Since they come with a silicone cord that measures 3.5″ in length, removing them is a breeze. Just give a little pull and they should easily slide out. As for cleaning you can boil them, use an anti bacterial toy cleaner or wash them with soap and water.

Specs: Length: 7.5″, Insertable Length – 4″ , Width: 1.4″ , Girth – 4.5” around (at largest  part).

Final Verdict: 4.5 out of 5 stars


BodyWand Squeeze 5PC Teardrop Kegel Set

If you’re someone who likes the ‘full’ sensation larger products usually have to offer, I can’t help but suggest going up a slight bit from the K-Balls and trying the BodyWand Squeeze 56g Kegel Ball Duo instead.

Like the K-Balls they’re made of high quality silicone, waterproof, contain weighted insertable portions, have a long silicone cord for removal, are easy to use, easy to care for, and are very well made.

Of course there are a few differences that set them apart. First of all, they’re more like a tear drop than a ball, with an ergonomically shaped slight protrusion that makes them a bit more enjoyable for g-spot stimulation than the K-Balls.

On that note, the Teardrops are identical in shape and size (5.5″/14cm long and 1.4″/3.6 wide), but the weights vary according to colour. The baby blue version is the lightest, the deep purple is the heaviest, and other are in between. The blue is a great place to start, it’ll provide the least resistance and require the least amount of ‘flex’ to keep it in place. Move on when you’re ready.

Lastly, because of the design, there is nothing that needs to be done with them before use. No fumbling with outer shells or different balls. Just simply insert and you’re good to go.

Like the others, this set is body-safe, easy to clean, and safe to use with any water-based lube you love.

Specs: Blue – 37g/1.3oz, Pink – 49g/1.7oz, Lilac – 57g/2oz, Magenta – 76g/2.7cm, Deep Purple – 115g/4oz

Final Verdict: 4 out of 5 stars


Overall Final Verdict

If learning to strengthen your PC muscles, whether for sexual purposes or health related reasons, is something that you’re interested in, I highly believe that each of the products listed above will work wonders when it comes to getting into the habit of daily kegel exercising.

Not only are each of the above products body safe, easy to use, affordable, discreet and well made, but they’re also designed with female pleasure in mind…I’m not sure many typical exercise products can say that!

If you’d like to purchase products designed specifically for kegel exercising, be sure to check out any of my favourite online sex toy stores be it Pinkcherry, SheVibe, or Babeland. Don’t forget to shop around to make sure you’re getting the best prices available.

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