Archive | The Written Word RSS feed for this section

Sex Ed 102 Q&A: Condoms vs The Pill

Question

Heya!

I just watched a few of your videos and in the “Peer Pressure” one you were talking about running out of condoms. I’d like to have your opinion: why choose condoms over pills, shots, and all the other things out there?

Thanks in advance! 🙂

Answer

There are many reasons I always stress the use of condoms;

Although the pill has been around for quite a while there is still testing being done on it to see what long term effects it can have on the person taking it, and the generations to follow. That being said, birth control pills, depo provera (shots), and any other chemical that one would take can alter your bodies natural balance causing serious side effects like acne, sore breast tissue, weight gain, mood swings, headaches, stomach upset, increased risk of Cancer and more. I don’t personally believe in altering our bodies natural way of doing things when there are other less invasive products available. Not to mention it can sometimes be harder to conceive after stopping taking them.

Those products DO NOT protect against STD’s. Like I said in the video, you don’t know what someone is doing behind your back and it is better to be safe then sorry.

Prescriptions (like the pill) and other forms of protection (like the shot) require seeing a doctor. Depending on age, confidentiality, and privacy issues, as well as doctors fee’s (in Canada we have OHIP but I don’t know what it’s like in other Countries) some people won’t feel comfortable seeing a doctor or spending money that they don’t have. Condoms are cheap, easy to get your hands on, and discreet.

Condoms can be easily accessed by anyone and place the responsibility on both partners to come prepared. When it comes to the pill it is left in the females hands. A male has no clue if she’s really taking it, taking it properly (on time every day) or if she’s just saying she is. Trust me I’ve heard it a hundred times “but she said she was on the pill…“. Condoms allow both partners to be assured that they are being safe when it comes to unplanned pregnancy and protecting themselves from any post coital worry.

The pill requires that you take it EVERY day at the same time to ensure that it works effectively. If you miss one day you put yourself at higher risk of becoming pregnant. I don’t know about you but I’m not that great with routine or remembering to do something the same time every day, especially with such a hectic lifestyle. It is easier to remember to put a condom on before having sex, then it is to remember to take a pill.

Although the pill is highly effective when taken properly, things like medication (anti-biotics etc) can lesson its effectiveness without a person even knowing. To find out if a medication is going to cancel out or change the effectiveness of the pill I suggest you always speak to a doctor before filling a prescription.

Off the top of my head those are just a few of the reasons that I always suggest using condoms. If you feel it necessary to use two forms of protection (i.e condoms AND the pill/shot etc) please feel free to use your judgment in finding something that is a good fit for both you and your partner. Remember, two types of protection are always better then one.

hope that answered your question,

Kara_Sutra

Sit back, relax, let me come to you. Sign up for mailing list and get content only when I post it. Don’t worry I promise not to spam you!

Return to the Contraception/STD Page

Continue Reading · Comments { 4 }

Q&A w/ Kara Sutra: Is Masturbation Bad?

Hi Kara Sutra

I’m a long time fan of yours and I’ve watched all of your videos. I was hoping you could answer some questions I had about masturbation because I have no clue what to think or if there are health ramifications. Plus I’ve always been told that its bad so I’ve never done it and I want to but I’m scared that it will make me a pervert. Is masturbation bad? Is it normal? Am I going to go to hell? If I do it does it mean that there is something wrong with me?

I hope you can answer my questions.

Thanks.

Answer

Thank you so much for watching and supporting what I do!!

As for the message, in a perfect world masturbation wouldn’t cause feelings of fear, shame, or guilt. It’s a very natural thing that most species do, and almost every person has done, sometimes without even knowing it. Even as babies and young children one of the first things we do is experience our body. We touch, squeeze, tickle, our hands venture to places that can cause enjoyment we don’t yet understand.

Unfortunately, most of the guilt or shame we feel from this touching comes from early childhood experiences brought on by another persons reaction to what we were doing. And that isn’t fair or healthy.

When children touch their genitals it’s usually not in a sexual way, but instead an attempt to explore out of sheer curiosity and wonder. Very often they are immediately told to stop, that it’s ‘bad’, ‘dirty’, ‘wrong’, ‘gross’, ‘naughty’, and are shot scornful looks from whomever caught them. Sometimes their hands are slapped away or they’re punished for it. All of these experiences shape what they think of their bodies, sexuality, and how they feel about themselves.

That being said, I want to let you know that there is nothing wrong with masturbating. There is nothing wrong with exploring your body and figuring out what you like. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable and confident in your sexuality. And there is nothing wrong with giving yourself an orgasm.

Benefits of Masturbation

Contrary to any statements about masturbating being bad for you, there are quite a few positive benefits, including (but not limited to);

releasing tension
lowering stress levels
increasing the ability to have orgasms
helping to release endorphins that relieve pain
burning calories
it’s a natural sleep sedative
helping to keep the pelvic floor strong/healthy (potentially preventing urinary incontinence)

In ‘men’ it has be found to improve the immune system’s functioning, build resistance to prostate gland infection, and possibly even reduce the risk of developing prostate cancer. Not to mention the fact that it can help guys increase ejaculatory control and manage rapid or delayed ejaculation (basically put, through masturbation you can teach yourself to last longer).

In ‘women’, it’s great for combating pre-menstrual tension and other physical conditions associated with the menstrual cycle like cramps and backache. It can help prevent cervical infections and relieve urinary tract infections as well as generally help to gain confidence in our sexuality.

Aside from all those wonderful benefits, masturbating is a great way to learn about what you like and dislike when it comes to arousing yourself and achieving an orgasm.

You can fault me for this if you’d like, but you can’t blame your partner for not helping you achieve an orgasm if you don’t even know what it takes to get you there. No matter your gender, learning about your body and how to bring excitement is your responsibility, so is telling your partner so that they can provide what you require – the only way to learn is to do it yourself.

How Much Is Too Much?

Regarding the two most asked questions, “how much is too much?” and “whats wrong with me? I don’t know how to stop!”

So long as it’s not interfering with your daily activities, i.e. keeping you from hanging out with friends, making you late for work, is the only thing on your mind and the only thing you want to do day in and day out, you don’t really need to worry. The frequency of masturbation isn’t a problem unless it is linked with an obsessive compulsive disorder, where the same activity must be repeated over and over.

As for what’s considered “normal”: ‘normal’ ranges from several times per day, week or month, to never masturbating at all. Since everyone is different what’s ‘normal’ for you may be very different from what’s ‘normal’ for someone else.

Finally, will you go to hell? That’s a whole other can of worms I’d rather not open. But as someone that doesn’t believe in a ‘punishing God’, I’d say no. If you’re religious, maybe reading the book Conversations With God would give you another perspective on things.

That’s pretty much it, hopefully it helped in some way.

Go Back To The Previous Video Listing

Continue Reading · Comments { 0 }

~ White Ribbon Campaign ~

Every so often I’m compelled to share something even though it might not be in perfect alignment with what I do as a sexual educator or product reviewer. Such is the case with this post. As you’ll notice it has nothing that directly deals with sexuality, dating, relationships, intimate accessories or the like, yet it does speak volumes regarding men and their respect towards women both in and outside of the bedroom.

As I’ve said in many of my own videos, when people feel safe, secure and respected they are better able to explore their sexuality and sensuality. They’re more willing to relax in the moment and allow a very intimate experience to unfold. They’re less likely to shy away and give themselves permission to feel comfortable in the situation, not fearing any punishment, retribution, shame or guilt. That for me is where the White Ribbon Campaign to stop violence against women plays an important role. While it may not be sexually or sexuality driven, it does drive home the message that allowing and/or condoning inequality or violence is simply not okay. In any shape. In any form.

Having grown up in an environment where feeling safe wasn’t always a possibility, I feel both a personal and social responsibility to help get this message out. No woman should ever feel threatened. No child should ever fear for his or her Mothers life. It’s that simple.

If you’d like to help you can contact the fantastic folks the White Ribbon Campaign to see how you can get involved.

p.s. my lovely fiance is in this video and I consider myself blessed to have a man in my life that’s not only supportive of what I do, but also loves, respects and treats me the way I deserve. The way all women deserve. Jamie if you’re reading this, please know that I love you more than you know & am honored to share my life with you. Thank you for stepping up and taking part in such a fantastic campaign. The world needs more men like you. ♥♥♥

Continue Reading · Comments { 0 }

My Fave Luxury G-Spot Sex Toys

So you’ve made a few small purchases of intimate accessories here and there, found some you loved and some you weren’t really pleased with. Have explored your g-spot (on your own or with something fun), and finally decided it’s time to shell out that little savings you’ve got tucked away for something pretty exceptional. The only problem, you don’t know what’s worthy of your hard earned cash. Good news – I do.

After spending over 6 years working with intimate accessories, with a large portion of that time dedicated to reviews, I’ve had my fair share of great times and unfortunately, experiences I could have lived without. Having said that, I’ve been lucky enough to try some of the best products on the market, all of which have given me the experiences and expertise to know what’s good and what’s better left behind.

With that in mind, if you have a little extra dough, want something specifically designed for g-spot stimulation, made of high quality materials, that’s rechargeable (so much better than batteries), is easy to use, has lots of functions and comes with all the high end bells and whistles a luxury product should, look no further, you’ve found the mother load.

Below are 4 of my all time favorite luxury vibrators specifically designed to make the g-spot happy. Go on, treat yourself. You deserve it!

Luxury G-Spot Sex Toys

Lelo Gigi ($99.99 – $149.99)

Way back in the days when I first started working at a brick and mortar store GiGi was something everyone wanted. It was smooth, sleek, rechargeable, made of high end velvety smooth silicone, very quiet, well made and quite different from the traditional (read – boring) vibrators out at the time.

On a whim of curiosity I decided to splurge and take Gigi home to see what the big deal was. At first I was slightly unimpressed. That’s not to say I wasn’t taken aback by the design, ease of use, level of quality or respectful and beautiful packaging. Instead I found it to be a firm product that inserted easily, yet didn’t give me mind boggling orgasm I hoped for. Keep in mind this was back in the day when I was still learning, growing, exploring, challenging myself and my curiosity to rise above any preconceived notions about sex, sexuality and my body. After a few lack luster experiences I put Gigi away in its box where it sat for almost a year. As most of you probably know, a lot can change in a year.

When I came across it by accident, hidden and tucked away in the bottom of a drawer, I quickly pulled it out, recharged it and patiently waited. All the while quietly wondering if a year of bodily explorations would make a difference. Boy did it ever! Not only was finding my g-spot with Gigi quick and comfortable, but it was also far easier to operate and well worth the wait.

Unfortunately it does have a few draw backs; because it’s an older product I find the vibrations aren’t as insanely powerful as many that are made today. Then again that isn’t always a bad thing, especially for those of you that don’t want a crazy powerful product. It’s also not waterproof, for some of you that may be an issue, for others it wont. Regardless I thought I’d add it just to make sure everyone was in the know.

Stats: Length 6 1/2″, insertable length 4 1/2″, circumference 3 1/2″, diameter 1 1/8″, weight 1 lb

Final Verdict: 4.5 stars out of 5

Je Joue G-Ki ($98.99 – $110.00)

I know I’ve claimed many products are my favorites, that some of them I just couldn’t live without. However, if there is one that I’d need when deserted on a stranded island without a companion (who’d put out penetration wise) it would be the G-Ki by Je Joue.

Not only is it easy to use, body safe, waterproof, rechargeable, damn near silent and extremely powerful, but it also does something no other product on the market can – it fully customizes to fit your bodies needs, and quite comfortably I might add!

In total I found 5 different positions that you could shape the G-Ki. That said if the first one doesn’t generate g-spot stimulation, you always have another 4 that you can play with until you find one that does. Keep in mind that while it might take a little time, when you do find a customized curve that hits your g-spot, it will definitely be worth the wait! Trust me!

As for the vibrations; there are 5 different speeds and 5 different vibrational patterns and activating them is a sinch; simply press the metal + (plus) button located on the handle once to activate it and to run through the 5 different speeds. The sixth press of the button shifts to the vibrational patterns. To run through them just keep pressing the + (plus) button until you find one that you like. If you go past a setting that you like just hit the – (minus) button located right below and you go back to the previous speed or setting. To turn it off just hold down the – (minus) button for 2 seconds and off it goes. Fantastic for those of you that need a product that has a “quick off” feature.

I have only one complaint and to be honest it really isn’t anything to worry about; manipulating the joints to adjust the head and shaft might be a little scary at first, especially if you’re someone like me who tends to break things. That said all it takes is a couple minutes to learn the amount of pressure your G-ki needs to move and you’re fine.

Stats: Length 9″, insertable length 5″, circumference 4″, diameter 1 1/2″, weight 1.5 lbs

Final Verdict: 5.75 out of 5 stars (it’s my rating system and I can do what I want!)

Lelo Ina: ($144.99 – $219.99)

There are so many reasons I love the Lelo Ina; it’s easy to use, made from body safe silicone, is hypo allergenic, hygienic, non porous, latex & phthalate free, non toxic and silky to the touch, is built to last, has dual motors (meaning more stimulation points), is powerful, very quiet, waterproof and has a setting I’ve never experienced on another product (the “circular mode”) that vibrates like it’s not only inside you, but a part of you. A part you never knew could be stimulated.

As for operating it there’s only 4 buttons to worry about; (-) minus, (+) plus, upwards arrow and downwards arrow. To turn it on just press the (+) button and it begins to vibrate at a low and steady rumble, press it again and it goes up in power. If you want to change the setting simply press the upwards arrow and it jumps to a pulsation, hitting it again will take you to the next setting and so forth. To turn it off simply hold the (-) button for couple seconds and it quickly powers down.

*In total there are 8 different vibration modes with varying speeds.

While it is rather pricey I have to say that it is most definitely worth it! If I wasn’t doing reviews and had the money to spend, based on the experiences I’ve had with it – I wouldn’t think twice about buying it.

When it came to drawbacks there was really only one and it’s actually something I’ve heard about from other people, yet didn’t really experience myself; because of the shape and thickness of the product some find that it ‘pinches’ or ‘clamps down’ on the area uncomfortably. Since I knew this issue in advance I took some time to stretch the clitoral stimulator back until it wasn’t so tight and rigid.

Stats: Length 7 3/4″, insertable length 3 1/2″, circumference 4 1/2″, diameter 1 3/8″, weight 1.5 lbs

Final Verdict: 4.5 out of 5 stars

We-Vibe III: ($77.77 -$199.99)

When I received the original We-Vibe I was quickly impressed with its ease of use, high quality silicone materials, rechargeability and long battery life, innovative design (it’s meant for using during intercourse), comfortability, 3 vibration speeds and the rare ability to target specific areas in an almost perfectly hands free way.

Fortunately the We-Vibe III has the exact same features, but instead of 3 vibration speeds you get 6 different modes that include pulsations, escalations, roller coaster, throbbing and a wonderful steady and strong vibe. It also comes in a variety of colors, rather than the original plain purple design.

Of course none of that really matters unless it does what it’s supposed to, and boy does it ever. Inserting the product is very comfortable due to the thin, rounded and non intrusive design. It’s this thinness that allows the insertion of a penis without creating discomfort, but instead creating a sensation of fullness and amazing pressure on the g-spot. It’s also highly flexible so you can move, shape and shift it to target both the g-spot and labia, or for those of you with a clitoris that sits a little lower, it’s fantastic for targeting both areas without any stress or discomfort. Regardless of how you choose to use it, or the areas you hope to target, I have to say that this product is by far one of the best I’ve ever had the pleasure of owning.

Things I didn’t like – it attracts lint like crazy. But that’s pretty much it.

Stats: Length 3″, insertable length 3″, circumference 3″, diameter1″

Final Verdict: 4.25 out of 5 stars

If none of the above products strike your fancy, keep in mind that there are many more worth checking out. Unfortunately I don’t have the time to list them all here, however I will be covering each of the below items in future reviews. If you’d like to check them out now, feel free to click the images below to learn more;

Extasy Elegance

Lelo Mona

Vanity Vr2

Delight

Overall Final Verdict

I have to admit, I’ve been rather fortunate (read – spoiled) when it comes to getting my hands on high end products I wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford. Having said that I understand just how important it is to know if a product is good or not before opting to spend some hard earned cash. With that in mind, you can rest assured that each of the products I’ve listed above are some of the best available. I should know, I’ve tried them.

For those of you that want more info, would like to purchase the products or are simply curious to see some other high end g-spot vibrators, I’d love if you showed your support by heading over to PinkCherry.ca where shopping for intimate accessories is easy, affordable, discreet and your privacy is of utmost importance.

Looking for other fantastic products specifically designed for G-Spot stimulation? No problem! Simply click the banners below to read about some of the best on the market!

Want to stay up to date with the new reviews?
Just sign up for an email update through the form below!

Continue Reading · Comments { 0 }

Beginners Guide: G-Spot Dildos

If you’ve been following my recent posts you shouldn’t be surprised to see this one in the mix.

Like vibrators, there are many dildos specifically designed to help you find your g-spot and apply the much needed pressure. And while there is nothing like the sweet hum of a vibrator, there’s definitely something to be said for the fullness, pressure and simplicity most targeted g-spot dildos provide.

For those of you wondering what the difference is; dildos are (often phallic) shaped sex toys designed for vaginal or anal penetration, and unlike vibrators, dildos do not have motors or moving parts. Since they don’t have anything that would vibrate, pulsate, escalate, or bring any form of mechanical pleasure, most of the enjoyment comes from penetration (whether in the form of thrusting, applying pressure, or ‘rocking’ to stimulate the g-spot), or the sensation of fullness they provide.

They can be made from a wide range of materials including plain rubber (though I don’t support them for this reason), silicone, vinyl, ABS plastic, TPR (thermo plastic rubber), TPE (thermo plastic elastomer), metal, wood, and glass. Fortunately for those that like variety, they can be found in almost any shape and/or size imaginable.

One thing to note, the vast majority of g-spot dildos are safe for vaginal use, but a dildo that’s being put in your butt must have flared base, be free of sharp edges and seams, and be easily removed to be considered safe.

With that in mind, I thought it would be a good idea to list a few of my absolute favorite g-spot dildos in order to help you not only find your g-spot, but also encourage you to explore your body.

The Best G-Spot Dildos for Beginners

Double G Glass Stunner ($24.99 – $59.99)

From that lovely curve to the rippled end, the wonderful feeling of warm or cool glass to the fantastic design, the moment I saw this glass g-spot dildo I just had to have it!

Measuring 8 1/2″ in total length and crafted out of extremely high quality Pyrex glass (it’s able to stand 1,500 lbs of pressure!), this is one product that if cared for properly, will likely last you a life time.

*for those of you scared by the size, don’t worry – only 4 1/2″ is meant for insertion.

Along with being wonderfully designed, built to last and relatively affordable for the quality, glass has another fantastic feature – it’s non porous, meaning it wont absorb bacteria, bodily fluids or lube. It will also never age, fade or discolor, can be totally sterilized and is completely hypoallergenic and hygienic. Basically put, if you want quality, buy some fantastically designed glass products!

If that wasn’t enough, it has one of the most lovely levels of firmness to provide pressure on the g-spot, while also being exceptionally comfortable to hold. You can use it in a rocking motion to stimulate the area, gently thrust it ( be gentle, you don’t want to bruise your cervix) or simply hold it in place while you use something for clitoral stimulation. What ever you choose I’m pretty sure you won’t be disappointed.

Along with the various wonderful design features, it also has a rounded tip that allows it to slide inside very comfortably with the help of a tiny amount of your favorite lube. If the curve doesn’t quite do it for you, you can also flip it around and use the ridges on the opposite side, all of which will rub on the g-spot offering some amazing sensations. Last but not least, you can use the curved end as a handle which again makes it very comfortable and easy to use.

On that note, because the glass g-spot dildo is made from glass it can be placed in warm or cold water to allow for some seriously amazing temperature play.

When it comes to cleaning you can wash it with soap and hot water, spray it down with you favorite toy cleaner. As for lube, you can use anything you want. Just keep in mind that it becomes extremely slippery when wet, so a little will go a very long way. (it’ll also save you money in the long run!)

Downfalls: None. Absolutely none.

Final Verdict: 5.5 out of 5 stars (it’s my rating system, I can do that when I want! ha!)

Tantus Charmer ($44.99 – $59.99)

I’m rather proud to say that the Tantus Charmer was one of the very first dildos I received for g-spot stimulation, and even after all these years it’s never let me down.

Made of high quality silicone that allows for a little bit of give and flexibility, the Charmer still manages to retain much of its firmness, offering great g-spot stimulation in the form of both pressure and continuous rubbing during thrusting.

On that note, it has 4 lovely ridges that when used in a thrusting motion, gently massage the g-spot. How fast or slow you use it is totally up to you, but it’s definitely one I would highly suggest.

In regard to cleaning you can bleach it in 10% bleach solution, boil it, put it in the dishwasher (I’m not kidding folks!), wash it with soap and water or spray it with toy cleaner. What ever you choose just keep in mind that Tantus products are made of some of the best silicone and like glass, won’t absorb bacteria, bodily fluids or lube.

As for lube, I’d only suggest a good water based one as a silicone would likely ruin it.

Final Verdict: 4.75 out of 5 stars

Lelo Ella ($39.99 – $59.99)

When the Lelo Ella first came out I was intrigued. For one thing it was shaped unlike the traditional dildos I was used to (read: it’s not a dick). For another, it was the one and only product everyone who owned it seemed to rave about. And I do mean everyone.

Finally submitting to the consensus I asked the generous folks at PinkCherry.ca to send one my way to include in this project. Fortunately for me they did, and in retrospect, I have no idea what took me so long. Very quickly Ella has filled one of the missing pieces in my drawer of ‘very necessary sex toys’.

Unlike many other products Ella‘s head has a way of hugging the g-spot very comfortably, giving absolute control of the level of pressure you apply and because of the slightly rounded head, it glides in easily, almost instantly finding your g-spot without much struggle or searching. On top of that, Ella can be flipped around offering a lovely raised mount that applies pressure to the g-spot.

As for the stats: the product measures 7 1/2″ in total length, with 6 1/2″ of that being insertable. At its widest part you’re looking at 1 1/2 inches and regarding girth, 4″. Suffice to say it’s a comfortable size that even someone who’s not very sexually experienced could use without much pain or worry.

Like the other two products Ella is hypoallergenic, hygienic, body safe and non porous so it doesn’t absorb bodily fluids lube or bacteria, making clean up a breeze. When it comes to cleaning you can wash it with soap and water, gently boil it, use a 10% bleach solution, wash it with soap and water or spray it with your favorite toy cleaner.

Again I’d only suggest a good water based lube as a silicone lube would likely ruin it.

Final Verdict: 5 out of 5 stars

If none of the above products strike your fancy, keep in mind that there are many more worth checking out. Unfortunately I don’t have the can’t list them all , but feel free to click the image below to learn more.

Tantus G-Spot

Fun Factory

NJ Fun Wand

Tantus Curve

Overall Final Verdict

Finding the perfect product for g-spot stimulation can be a challenge, especially when you don’t know what you’re looking for. Even more so when you don’t have any idea of what makes a sex toy a good one. I sincerely hope that through this series of posts you’ll not only find something that works for your body, but helps makes the process easier and more comfortable.

I’ve tried to cover as many of the basics as possible, while focusing on affordability, ease of use, body safety and longevity. Hopefully each of these posts has (or will) help in some way, and as I’ve said before, your safety and well being are my #1 concern.

For those of you that want more info, would like to purchase the products or are simply curious to see what else is available, I highly suggest you head over to PinkCherry.ca where shopping for intimate accessories is easy, affordable, discreet and your privacy is of utmost importance.

Looking for other fantastic products specifically designed for G-Spot stimulation? No problem! Simply click the links below to read about some of the best on the market!

Want to stay up to date with the news and reviews?
Just sign up for an email update through the form below! Don’t worry, I promise not to spam you.