Beginners Guide: How To Give A Tit Job


When it comes to sexual acts, tit jobs are often one of the things I’m asked about on a regular basis. In practice it’s a relatively easy thing to pull off, though it can admittedly be a little uncomfortable, awkward, distracting, oddly funny, and weird at first… especially if you’ve never done it before or aren’t that comfortable with trying new things.

If it’s something you’d like to try, or if you’d simply like to be better at it, feel free to check out the video above and read the content below. Both have valuable insight and techniques that will have you mastering and enjoying it in no time!

What is a tit job?

Basically, it’s when someone with a dick (or strap-on) has sex with a set of tits.

The act itself is a low risk, non-penetrative form of outercourse (rather than intercourse), that involves thrusting between breasts to create friction and visual stimulation for sexual gratification. It can be used as a form of foreplay leading up to sex, combined with oral sex for greater stimulation, or used in place of sex itself.  If done safely, tit jobs allow both partners to enjoy themselves sexually without the worry of an unintended pregnancy or risk of contracting an STI/STD.

Beginners Guide: How To Give A Tit Job

Beginners Guide: How To Give A Tit Job

Although it can be fun, jumping straight to it often doesn’t feel like the most natural thing to do, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be easy or effortless.

I suggest starting with some foreplay and taking the time to both get aroused.  When you feel ready slowly maneuver yourself into a position where your breasts are level with your partners penis. You can do this by kissing down their torso, moving down to give them a blow job, or lowering yourself to your knees while you undo their pants/belt/skirt etc.

Once you’ve got yourself into position you can rub their penis over your breasts and nipples. Next, add some of the lube to their penis (a teasing handjob works great), then simply place the penis between your breasts and press them together, sandwiching it in the process.  From there you should be good to go.

If it feels awkward at first don’t worry, it will get easier as you figure out what positions work best for you and your body type.

You’ll also probably find that the penis slips out easily. Again, this is totally normal and nothing to be embarrassed by. Just slide it back in and keep going.

Tips & Suggestions

While a fairly standard practice, there are tips and suggestions to help make the experience much more enjoyable for everyone involved…

  • The main problem I hear from my viewers is having the courage to do it, being nervous about trying it, and not feeling comfortable naked in front their partner.  All of these experiences are totally normal, natural, and should be expected, especially if it’s your first time or if you’re experimenting with a new partner. Anytime we’re naked and exposed, trying something we’ve never done before, there’s bound to be some sense of nervousness or vulnerability. The best advice I can give is to relax, have fun with it, and know that no matter what you think of your body, your partner likely thinks you’re sexy as hell and can’t wait to be naked with you.
  • On that note, this can be one of the least stimulating experiences for the person offering up the tits. If this is a problem for you, I have the following suggestions:
    • get your partner to reach behind and stimulate you (by hand/with a toy – works best if they’re on top straddling you)
    • if you’re kneeling with them sitting in front of you and you don’t have any hands free (because you’re using them to hold your breasts together), you can try to mount a dildo from above as if you’re riding it.
    • for better clitoral stimulation, try using a product that’s designed for hands free use like the Eva by Dame or a floor based model like The Cone.
    • if you’re still wearing undies, you could easily place a vibrator like a We-Vibe Touch inside to help hold it in place.
    • for those with an ample bosom, use your upper arms to push your boobs together. Depending on how you’re positioned you can possibly reach down and play with yourself without much issue.
    • have your partner take over holding your tits so you can stimulate yourself.
    • try incorporating a boob job with a 69 position.
  • sliquid lube for tit jobsJust like having sex without proper lubrication can be uncomfortable, painful even, so can giving an unlubed boob job. There can be chaffing. Pulling of skin on skin. Friction burn. An inability to thrust completely. The dick getting stuck somewhere in the cleavage. Granted these things don’t always happen, but they can, which is why I always suggest having a good bottle of water based or silicone lube on hand. You can easily change things up by using a lubricant that cools/warms, comes in flavors (for bj’s), or otherwise.
  • Contrary to what you might think, you don’t need to have huge tits to pull this off; for those that aren’t big in the boob department, I’d suggest leaning forward over your partner while they lay on their back – gravity will likely offer a bit more to work with. It probably won’t be as easy as  someone with a larger set, but it is still possible.
  • If you want to have a bit more fun try incorporating oral sex. It might be a little awkward or uncomfortable for those lying on their backs, and you likely wont be able to deep throat very well. But it’s still something worth experimenting with.  Just remember to use a dental dam or condom to help reduce the risks of transmitting an STI.
  • Rather than using a simple in and out thrusting motion, try grabbing the breasts and jiggling them while the penis is sandwiched between.

Things To Avoid – Tips For Those With The Penis

  • Unless your partner says they like it, don’t just grab their tits, jam ’em together and go to town. Not only can you rub yourself raw, you can also hurt your partner with the force of pushing the breasts together, and/or the friction that’s created while you thrust. Again, I highly suggest the use of a good lube to help make the experience comfortable.
  • If your partner is going to be giving you a blow job, when your penis comes out from the top of their cleavage – go slow. I’ve heard many instances where the someone has accidentally rammed their penis in the back of their partners throat, jabbed them in the face, or poked them in the eye (seriously!) etc. Remember, this is meant to be fun… if you hurt your partner there is a very likely chance they won’t be up for doing it again.
  • realistic breast masturbatorsBe careful how you position yourself or move when kneeling over your partner (with them on their back). Often the breasts will slide and drop to the side of the body, especially for those with large breasts; if you’re not careful you could accidentally pinch or jam them between your leg and your partners body.
  • If you’ve talked to your partner and they just aren’t comfortable with the idea or don’t like giving a tit job, you can purchase  realistic breast masturbators online (pictured right). Although they’re not the real thing, they could go a long way for helping you explore and experiment without having to bother/pressure your partner.
  • When it comes to ejaculating, I highly suggest talking beforehand about what’s okay and what’s off limits. I’ve received more than enough messages from viewers who have been unexpectedly shot in the face, eye, mouth, or hair by their partner who thought it was part of the plan. Remember, communication is key.


Regarding Positions

A variation in positions can not only help with visual or physical stimulation, it can also help with putting either person in a place of control, while also making the experience a bit more comfortable.

*Note: Unlike the content within the video, I’m opting out of using ‘male’ and ‘female’ pronouns when suggesting positions below. Instead, I’m going to use ‘Partner A’ to represent the person with breasts, and ‘Partner B’ to represent the person with the penis/strap-on etc.

Cowboy: Partner A lays on their back while Partner B straddles their torso (kneeling), and places the penis/strap-on between the breasts of Partner A. Once in this position either partner can grab the breasts and wrap them around the penis. Because this position limits the amount of movement the Partner A has, this places Partner B in control of the rhythm, speed, and timing as to which the ejaculation and/or orgasm occurs. Also, it’s a good idea for the person on top to remember not to lean all their weight as it could accidentally make breathing difficult (for their partner).

Reverse Cowboy:  This position is like cowboy only instead of Partner B facing the partner, they’re turned to face their feet. While in this position the person on the bottom can provide oral or manual stimulation to the anus, balls, taint, or other erogenous zones, while the person on top can reach forward and manually stimulate their partner. Again, this position limits the actions of the person beneath, giving Partner B the opportunity to reach down and control the rhythm, speed, and timing when it comes to ejaculation and/or orgasm. One thing to keep in mind when it comes to the oral sex aspect is that it increases the risk of contracting an STD. As such, I suggest using a dental dam to create a barrier and limit the risks.

Standing: Pretty much what it sounds like; Parner B stands while Partner A either kneels or sits in front of them. Although this does usually lend to a more typically thought ‘submissive’ role, it actually gives Partner A a bit more control when it comes to thrusting. Depending on the heights of the people involved, as well as the way the penis curves, this position can be rather difficult or annoying for both parties. Also, depending on the size of breasts involved the act of lifting, pushing together, and holding in place can be tiring. It can also be tough on the knees and joints (use a pillow for adding padding).

Edge of The Seat: When it comes to placing Partner A in control, I’ve been told that this position is preferred.  Partner B sits while Partner A kneels in between their legs, using the legs of Partner B for support. Then, leaning forward, Partner A can place the penis between the breasts and control the speed, depth, and rhythm of thrusts. An alternative to this has Partner A sitting, with Partner B standing in front. I suggest experimenting with both positions and seeing which works best for you.


Hopefully this helped in some way and answered any questions you might have, but most of all, I hope this provided you with a new and fun way of exploring and experimenting with your partner without also having to worry about an unintended pregnancy or contracting an STD.

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Dear Ronda Rousey, Just Say Yes To Lube!

Dear Ronda Rousey, Just Say Yes To Lube!
credit: getty images/maxim/kara_sutra reviews

If you follow the sex positive community on twitter, you probably saw a thread of angry tweets recently pop up in your feed with the hashtag #tweetyourlube, created by in support of Rachel Kramer BusselsSalon article, where she refuted some terrible sex advice UFC Bantamweight Champion, Ronda Rousey, had to give a male reader.

In the Maxim​ Magazine piece, Ronda Rousey​ was asked, “What should a guy ALWAYS do in bed? What should a guy NEVER do in bed?”, to which she answered…

What should a guy always do? Take his time. In general, a girl takes a minute. He needs to get her ready. You should never need lube in your life. If you need lube, than you’re being lazy…and you’re not taking your time.

While I can appreciate what she’s trying to suggest – that great sex comes when you’re present in the moment, not rushing, and enjoying your partner – her answer was ignorant, disappointing, and very unacceptable.

It’s this kind of uninformed advice that further purports the misguided beliefs that a.) if a person can’t get wet it’s because their partner is doing something wrong and failing them, b.) their partner is responsible for their sexual arousal, and/or c.) lube generally isn’t necessary.

I’m sorry Ronda, but no. Just no. This is just not okay.

Arousal and Desire: Knowing The Difference

According to Ms. Rousey’s answer, all it takes for a person to get wet is time, more time, and a bunch of foreplay.

Unfortunately this isn’t exactly how things work.

What she failed to understand is that there is a difference between the processes of arousal and desire.  Arousal (the cause of lubrication, we’ll get to that below), is an involuntary physiological bodily response to a type of stimulus.  Whereas the desire to have sex is often based a psychological need or want for sexual intimacy. While the two are often deemed as being one in the same, they are two separate experiences.

Furthermore, although arousal and desire often work together, they can also operate independently, for instance; your partner may want to have sex but their body may not respond the way they need/want (i.e. lack of wetness), or in the opposite case, they may not want to have sex but their body could be responding (as is the case with some rape victims who experience orgasm during the attack).

Sure, a lack of foreplay could play a big role in lowered sexual arousal (and subsequent wetness) but there are a variety of other factors that could have an impact as well. Simply suggesting that it comes down to foreplay, time, and more time, is highly ignorant.

But I digress.

You Are Responsible For Your Orgasm, Not Your Partner

come as you are bookSince 2007 I’ve received countless emails from my cis male readers/viewers asking for help when it came to stimulating their cis female partner. In almost every situation the reader felt like he was doing something wrong because his partner couldn’t get wet, wasn’t fully aroused, or couldn’t orgasm no matter how hard he tried.

Unlike Ms. Rouseys advice that he spend more time on stimulation, my first suggestion was often to open the lines of communication; find out what type of touch she preferred, where she liked to be touched, the amount of pressure she needed, and where she was most sensitive to sexual stimulation. Without this information, no amount of help I had to offer would be of any use.

Yes, a person should take their time, but if you’re not doing what your partner likes or needs, it’s pointless. And spending more time doing it certainly isn’t going to help.

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 1.21.54 PMIn all honesty, this is the kind of thing that makes me ridiculously angry. Unfortunately societal standards have often dictated that it takes a strong, steadfast, virile man to get a female off. That her orgasm is his responsibility. That she is dependent on him and his skills to ‘get her ready’. That if she doesn’t orgasm it’s his fault because he finished too quickly, or didn’t take his time, or wasn’t focused, or wasn’t a good lover, or didn’t know what he was doing, or didn’t anticipate her needs, or couldn’t read her body language, or was ‘lazy‘, or…

I could go on, but the point I’m trying to make is that if you can’t orgasm or become aroused with your partner it’s your responsibility to learn about your body and communicate what you need.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting that speaking about sex, or during sex for that matter, is an easy or comfortable thing to do. With all the shame surrounding the subject, our bodies, and sexuality in general, I know how hard and complicated it can be. But if you don’t take ownership of your pleasure and share your needs, you can’t fault your partner when they do try to please you but miss the mark.

A Bit About Vaginal Lubrication, Or Lack Thereof

Before I go on, I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to give a quick run down on vaginal lubrication. That way we’ll all be completely clear on how what Ms. Rousey is suggesting isn’t exactly the best advice…

Vaginal Lubrication: The Coles Notes

During sexual arousal the ‘female’ body experiences a variety of physical changes, the vulva and clitoris swell, the nipples become erect, muscular tension pulls the uterus upwards causing the vaginal canal to extend (both in length and width – called ‘tenting‘), and the vaginal walls fill with blood in a process called vasocongestion (also how erections occur). This vasocongestion causes increased pressure which, in turn, causes the fluid within the blood serum to be pushed through the tissues of the vaginal wall… thus, the vagina becomes lubricated.

Vaginal fluid has other functions besides making it easier for a penis, finger, or sex toy to enter; it decreases pressure and reduces the amount of friction that occurs (potentially saving the vaginal walls from tearing), limits any pain that may be associated with intercourse (allowing for a more comfortable experience), while also changing the chemical nature of the vagina, causing it to become more alkaline and less acidic (making it more hospitable to sperm).

The amount of lubrication created varies from person to person, may be different one day from the next, and changes based on any number of factors.

On that note, the addition of a good lube, whether because a person needs or wants to, certainly isn’t anything to feel bad or embarrassed about. When everything is said and done, it’s a fantastic way of helping things along, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Causes of Vaginal Dryness

Contrary to what Ms. Rousey implied, vaginal dryness is not always caused by a partners lack of time spent engaging in foreplay. Instead, there are many other reasons lack of lubrication could be occurring, including but not limited to;

  • menopause/perimenopause (lowered estrogen levels are often experienced during this time which affect lubrication)
  • health issues (diabetes, hypertension, polycystic ovarian syndrome, heart and kidney disorders, among others)
  • skin irritations/allergic reactions (soaps, dyes, laundry detergents and dryer sheets, body washes, perfumes, etc. can have an irritating and drying effect on the skin/genitals which could affect natural lubrication)
  • Summers Eve Douchepregnancy, having recently given birth, breastfeeding (shifts in estrogen/progesterone levels, possible lack of genital sensitivity requiring, tenderness due to childbirth, lowered estrogen during to lactation/breastfeeding can all have a negative impact on vaginal lubrication)
  • douching (disturbs the normal chemical balance of the vagina, often leading to irritation and vaginal dryness)
  • alcohol abuse/alcohol use (alcohol has a dehydrating affect on the body which could lead to vaginal dryness, it also acts as a depressant on the nervous system affecting sexual arousal and orgasm)
  • smoking cigarettes (cigarettes can affect circulation and destroy estrogen which can affect arousal and vaginal lubrication)
As you can clearly see, there are many reasons a person may not become lubricated enough for comfortable intercourse. To imply that it simply comes down to a lack of foreplay, without acknowledging other causes, is an uninformed thing to suggest. To then take it one level further and also state that a person should “never need lube in their life” is just ignorant, rude, and insensitive. Ronda, you can do better.

Dear Ronda Rousey, Just Say Yes To Lube!

prod-naturalsLook, I get it, when a person reaches the point of popularity that Ronda Rousey has, the general public starts thinking that because they are experts on one thing (in her case, fighting), they must be experts on a variety of topics… and when they’re then made into sex symbols by the media, that usually comes with the added bonus that they’re assumed to be highly educated on all things sex. Before long they’re touting sex advice on widely read publications, and praised for it, even when the advice they’re offering could be detrimental to someones health, sense of self, or relationship.

Everything considered, I can’t help but sympathize with the readers who will take her words at face value, apply the suggestions she made, find they’ve had no difference (because she didn’t properly educate them), and feel bad about themselves, their partners, and the sex they’re having. Especially when all it might have taken is a bottle of good lube to help things along.

Like I said in the start of this post, I appreciate what she was trying to do with her answer, but I think she needs to take a step back, get some insight on how the body works and until she’s learned better, leave sex ed to those who know what they’re actually talking about.

Investing a bottle of good lube probably wouldn’t hurt her either. #dontknockittilyouvetriedit

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