I destroyed a lot of stuff when I was a kid. It wasn’t my fault, I couldn’t help it. I was just too curious and determined for my own good. From clock radios to busted flashlights, a retro Polaroid camera to a handful of non-retracting measuring tapes, if it wiggled or jiggled in a way that hinted something might be out of place, I took it as a perfect excuse to take that fucker apart just so I could see what was inside.
Looking back I can safely say my continual breaking of shit wasn’t due to boredom, or that I liked to needlessly destroy things, or that I was looking for trouble. I just had this insatiable yearning to understand what made things go, and figured the best was to learn was to open them up and prod around. Okay, maybe I did have a destructive side, and doing bad things made my 5 year old self feel like a rebel, but I was well intentioned and didn’t really mean any harm. Except for my Barbies. Those bitches had it coming. In truth, they’re not that exciting when all you’re left with is a pile of plastic parts that won’t pop back into place.
As an adult, my need to know how stuff works hasn’t changed that much. Especially when it comes to how sex toys are made. So, as an attempt to appease my curiosities, rather than offering up another toy as sacrifice, I’ve decided to create a series of posts featuring pictures, videos, and the like, on how some of your favorite sex toys are made.
I posted a couple of these to my tumblr account, however I thought I should share them here as well. The pictures are taken from the Vice article: Germanys Fun Factory Pumps Out The Dildos , which goes into detail of what his experience was visiting the Fun Factory factory (say that 5 times fast). Anywhoo, the article is interesting and the pictures do speak a thousand words. I doubt I’ll ever look at one of my Fun Factory toys the same.
Also, just because I love you guys so much, I’ve included a handful of pictures from of the Fun Factory stores in Berlin (silver/pink) and Bremin (gold). That shit’s just cray-cray. Or, if really want to have some fun, go to the Fun Factory website, scroll down to to the BerlinProof360 Google Maps image, and tour the store via the 3D app.
Real Doll Factory
I included this in a previous #wtfwednesday post: doll parts, however I feel it bares repeating. Just look at all that silicone. The detail. The craftsmanship. This video proves the amount of work going into those babies is ridiculous but well worth the high price tag. Sure, most people would likely cringe at the thought of having sex with one of them, however… if I had a dick, $5,000 to burn, a place to store Misty-The-Underpantsless-Love-Doll (that would be her nickname, for short), and a dog that didn’t think she was a chew toy, I’d dive deep in one of those beauties and never let go.
More: Face Scan: The Making of Amber Doll, Day One: The Making of Amber Doll, Day Two: The Making of Amber Doll, Day Three: The Making of Amber Doll, Day Four: The Making of Amber Doll, Guys and Dolls: BBC Documentary on Real Dolls P1.
Tour of the Vixen Creations Dildo Factory
This video like the rest is fairly outdated (circa 2007), however the fact that it even exists is a miracle. In all my years working in this industry I’ve rarely, if ever, found a video of a dildo factory tour. Let alone one for VIXEN CREATIONS. Gasp! This is a big deal you guys. Thank you Good Vibes, thank you! If you ask me there should be way more videos of dildos and vibrators being made, why there isn’t totally leaves me baffled. Maybe I’ll just need to take matters into my own hands and start that TV show I’ve been planning after all. #IfYouWantSomethingDoneDoItYourself
I’m a big supporter of safer sex practices, so I just couldn’t pass up including this video from Trojan Condoms. I might be wrong, but the actor in the video kinda looks and sounds like he could be the love child of Tosh 2.0, Adam Levine, Timothy Olyphant, and Josh Duhamel. Distracting much? Anyways…
It’s fairly informative, giving a rundown on how condoms are made, but I gotta admit, my favorite moment happens at the 1:25 mark when he facetiously says “these definitely aren’t your Grandfathers condoms“, or the 3:19 mark when he seems really excited about saying the word “basketball”. Though the attempted but failed oh-no-she-better-don’t finger wag at the 2:20 mark is also pretty rad. All jokes aside, he’s got some of the best enunciation I’ve ever heard, and the video is one I’d watch over and over just to see the condoms getting “worked over by strong hands in what’s called the ‘roll and knead’ process“. If you listen closely at the 3:32 mark, you can almost hear him thinking ‘are you kidding me with this shit?’. Either way, this is probably the best ‘how its made’ video I’ve come across as it relates to condoms. Give it a gander, I’m sure you’ll be entertained if nothing else.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t save the best for last. This tour of the Fleshlight factory is surreal. From the factory itself, to a futuristic room with a shit ton of monitors running reports, it’s the behind the scenes content I dreamed of. I think I’ve just taken my Fleshlight fixation to a whole other level. I’m beside myself.
There’s also this video featuring the Fleshlight. It’s well worth the watch. Though I won’t lie, seeing all that luxury kinda makes me wish I had thought of the idea first. C’est la vie.
Also, these Fleshlight vines from the company are pretty fascinating. In order: the Fleshlight entrance, Fleshlight headquarters, the vagina casts and texturing rods, how they’re made.
More: Pressing the Flesh: The world’s leading adult toy manufacturer for men wants to take the stigma out of sex, Vice: The Man Behind the World’s Most Famous Fake Vagina. Fleshlight Sales: The best deals all in one place.
At the end of the day the toys we buy come from somewhere… as in, someone made them, designed them, decided on ingredients, crafted them, poured them, stripped them from a mold, packaged them, and perfected them.
I hope you enjoyed watching as much as I did researching, and that seeing this post will give all you budding creatives the confidence and perspective to believe that if they can do it, so can you. If not, in the very least it should give you a sense of appreciation for the things you whack off with. I know I won’t be looking at my sex toys the same.
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