Best & Worst Sex Toys ~ 2013

Stay Tuned! The Best & Worst Sex Toys – 2014 will be released Dec. 28th!

 

best-sex-toys-of-2013It’s that time of year again, when all the sex toy reviewers round up their fave products and list them in a ‘best of ’ post for all of you. I’ve done a few of these myself, offering up things I loved in 2010, and 2012 (2011 I was a lazy little bitch so that year didn’t get one), but this year I’m going to do things a little differently…

Rather than including just the things I reviewed in 2013, I’m going to list the products that continually served me well throughout the year, regardless of the year they were made, when I obtained them, or when they were first reviewed.

So here it is, for my last post of the year, on the last day of the year…

The Best & Worst Sex Toys of 2013!

FYI, the list isn’t in any order, just a compilation of my faves and not so faves as they came to me. Don’t pun that.

magic wand original1.) First up, the famous Hitachi Magic Wand, or as it’s now been stupidly renamed, the Magic Wand Original. This baby has served me well since the day it arrived on my doorstep back in 2011. The deep and rumbly vibrations are strong enough to get me off in just under 3 minutes. The cushioned head is beyond comfortable. Even when drunk it does what it’s supposed to. Sure, after a few libations it might take a tad longer than normal, but its never failed me and that’s what matters. As Epiphora said, “BRUTE STRENGTH”.  Honestly, I don’t know what I would do without it. It’s my end all, be all. If you grab something in 2014, make it the Magic Wand.  It might be a little strong at first, but that’s nothing a layer of clothing can’t fix.

Watch my video review of the Hitachi Magic Wand.

doc johnson pocket rocket2.) One of the very first vibes I used and abused until it finally died after 3 years of mistreatment was the Pocket Rocket.  Convinced buying another would be a waste of money (struggling student, you know the drill), I opted to rely on old faithful… a set of fingers lubed with spit. A heavy masturbation session later, one that left my fingers cramped and clit rubbed raw, I realized just how useful my Pocket Rocket was. That was 8 years ago. If those were dog years it would be 45. Unreal.  It still travels with me every place I go (most recently Paris & London) and has a permanent spot in my nightstand. If I could go back in time I’d cunt punch myself for holding out on the $20 it cost to replace it. When it comes to cheap but reliable clit vibes, look no further than the Pocket Rocket.

Watch my video review of the Pocket Rocket.

WeVibe Touch3.) The We-Vibe Touch was another I loved until it died, though its sad death went the same as my Lelo Ina, at the murderous jaws of a teething puppy (rather than due to my overuse and carelessness). Like my Pocket Rocket, I debated buying a replacement, trying to find reasons I should hold off on spending the big bucks on such a thing… then I remembered how it felt in my hand, so comfortable, so sleek, with little to no cramping of the wrist and a silicone coating that was easy to grasp. And the vibrations, those lovely deep vibrations. If good orgasms were going to be a thing of my future, I needed another Touch. And so it was, my Touch was replaced and I haven’t looked back since.  2013 was a better year because of it.

Read my review of the We-Vibe Touch.

As far as insertable vibes go there were really only two I kept tucked in the bedside dresser the entire year round; the Lelo Gigi, and the Je Joue G-Ki, both for similar and different reasons.

lelo gigi4.) The Gigi is shaped like the Lelo Ella, targets the g-spot like few others, has decent enough vibrations to satisfy, is easy to operate, fully rechargeable, and is made of velvety smooth silicone. I use it most days when I want the Ella but need vibrations to get off. In 2014, I’m looking forward to the Gigi 2.

G-Ki5.) On the flip side, there’s the G-Ki. I’ve loved this thing since the day I first used it. The vibrations are a tad stronger than Gigi, it’s fully rechargeable, has a lovely seamless silicone coating, is easy to maneuver and operate, is ergonomic, and best of all – has 5 different positions that allow it to fit my bodies needs with the bend of a locking shaft. I’m sure something will eventually replace these two, but as far as 2013 goes, they were perfect.

Read my mini-eview of the Lelo Gigi.  Watch my review of the Je Joue G-Ki.

lelo ella6.) Nothing compares to the Lelo Ella when it comes to targeted g-spot stimulation (likely why I still love the Gigi so much). The curved but flattened head make it perfect for direct pressure, and when gently rocked or thrust, hooks behind the g-spot adding another level of sensation. It’s even more perfect when I’ve got a vibe pressed on my clit. With the exception of my Bent Graduate, Ella is the only other toy I could count on to make me squirt. Also, the handle can be turned around and used as a basic dildo. Genius.

Read my mini-review of the Lelo Ella.

7. – 10.) Speaking of basic, for days I want something inserted but cant be bothered to make much of an effort, it doesn’t get better than the Fun Factory Amor, Babes ‘n Horny Kusama, Tantus Medium Silk, or Vixen Creations Tex. Yes that’s four, but to choose one over the others is nearly impossible. I love them all for very similar reasons; they’re crafted out of body safe silicone, are neither too big nor too small, insert effortlessly, have rounded bases so mounting is easy, are ridiculously comfortable once inserted, and best of all have little to no ridges or bumps so clean up is easy. If you want bare bones basic, each of these dildos has it in spades.

Fun Factory Amor Dildo Babes n Horny Kusama Tantus Medium Silk Vixen Creations Silicone Tex Dildo

Read my review of the Fun Factory Amor, Kusama, Medium Silk (coming 2014), and Vixskin Tex.

divine interventions virgin mary11.) There are other days when I want something a bit more fulfilling, something challenging and full of texture, something with weight behind it, taking orgasms to another level, leaving me worked over. For those days I grabbed the Divine Interventions Virgin Mary.  Crafted out of body safe silicone, Mary’s shape and design stimulates internally with every thrust, and the girth and length provide fullness without jabbing my bits. The base is a set of leg? balls? meh, so holding on, flipping around, and/or maneuvering is simple.  Sure, it’s a bit out of the ordinary and fairly sacrilegious, but I’m willing to withstand eternal damnation for something this good.

Review of the Divine Interventions Virgin Mary coming 2014. Read my review of the Diving Nun, it’s slightly larger, and almost as good as Mary.

Crystal Delights12.) There are many times throughout the year when decadence is necessary and only the best will do… as in the Crystal Delights Small Frosted or Clear Glass Plugs.  Both are handmade of Borosilicate glass, feel otherworldly once inside, are easy to care for, will last a lifetime, and with genuine Swarovski crystals embedded in the base, offer luxury most other butt plugs can’t.  Considering I failed at cramming things in my butt like hoped this year, these made my ass feel like it had done something very special, every time.

Watch my video review of the Crystal Delights Clear Glass Plugs.  Read my review of the Crystal Delights Frosted Glass Plug.

liberator fascinator shag throe

13.) If you read about it in my 2012 list (it was #8), I don’t know what else there is I can say about the Liberator Fascinator Throe that I haven’t said already. It’s still holding up like new, hasn’t leaked once, still travels with me most places, and is something everyone should have. Like literally EVERYONE. Okay, so this isn’t a ‘sex toy‘ per se, but over the last 2 years I’ve used it almost every time I’ve diddled or had sex. That’s a big deal. Like I said, EVERYONE. SHOULD. HAVE. ONE.

Read my review of the Liberator Fascintaor Throe.

Honorable Mention

There were a few other products I used, though not with the same amount of loyalty or frequency as the others, leading them to end the year with an honorable mention rather than a spot in my Top 13.

Tantus MeteoriteI kept telling myself 2013 was going to be the year of full out assault, however it took me until December to try a few new things. Even then I wasn’t overly impressed with myself. Five toys in yer butt (separately of course) does not an epic year make. When I did finally get around to it I was lucky enough to have the Tantus Meteorite. It’s like a finger but thinner, significantly more bendy, not at all overwhelming, easy to insert, has a better base than you’ll find on most, and looks like what would happen if Fruit Loops and Original Life Savers birthed a sex toy.  Awesome! If there was one new find I’m grateful for this past year, it’s the Meteorite.

Read my review of the Tantus Meteorite.

tantus neoThe Tantus Neo is another plug that appeared at the end of the year, though in reality it arrived much sooner… the box it was in got tucked away with a bunch of Christmas decorations, only to be found as the season rolled around. Yes, I suck. And yes, I misplace sex toys ALL. THE. TIME. Even though it’s a little larger than I’m used to, it’s totally doable, and with the right amount of prepping is surprisingly comfortable. I’ve only used it a handful of times so far, but if 2014 is the year my ass gets a good work out, I think it might just end up one of my favorite butt toys.

Review of the Tantus Neo coming 2014.

Things That Left Me Disappointed

rockbox-orgasm-machine-e1354145962447I hated this piece of junk in 2012, and I still hate it now. It’s a serious space hog, and although it is powerful, it’s also fucking awkward and useless. If I had my way the Rock Box would be pitched off a balcony from the highest floor and smashed to bits.  Stupid Rock Box IS STILL STUPID. That’s all I’m going to say about that.

*to be honest, I’ve only held onto it so I could make two videos; one of me bashing it in a review, the other of me taking a bat to it. Seriously. I’m gonna go all Office Space on this bitch. It will be EPIC.

Read my review of the stupid piece of shit Rock Box.

Tantus TRexThe Tantus T-Rex is the only dildo I’ve held onto in the hopes my vag will accept it willing (rather than while sauced on decent Tequila). I’m not sure what got the idea in my head, but I was certain 2013 would be the year I’d finally own this beast… sadly it just didn’t happen. So yes, I’m still disappointed. Though that’s more with myself then what Tantus has offered up. For all intense and purposes, it’s a work of art that most size queens would drool over. A size queen I am not. Vagina, you disappoint me.

Read my review of the Tantus T-Rex.

lelo IdaI often wonder what the fuck Lelo was thinking when they created Ida.  A twirling internal vibrator I understand. Couples vibes I understand. Remote controls I understand. Most of what Lelo does I understand. But this weird combination of all of the above, I don’t.  It’s not that comfortable, tears condoms to pieces, is not easy to get the hang of without a manual, isn’t very powerful, and it’s not shaped right for clitoral stimulation. All I have to say is, Lelo, please go back to the drawing board and make this pain in the ass better. Thanks.

Read my review of the Lelo Ida.

we-vibe thrillWith the love I have for We-Vibe, Thrill was a product I had really high hopes for. Yes, it got me off. Yes, it was relatively easy to use. And yes, a company I respect created it. But the vibrations leave much to be desired, and the design just wasn’t up to par. Lets just say that after a few more goes with it I was unimpressed.

Read my review of the We-Vibe Thrill.

 

So there you have it, my best and worst sex toys of 2013! Hopefully between this and my other yearly lists you’ll be able to find something worth your hard earned cash, and if you’re left wondering, remember you can always use my contact form to ask any questions you might have.

Also, now’s a really good time to start looking for sex toy deals and discounts, especially since many retailers are looking to unload back stocked items. Need help with where to start, check my sex toy sale page.

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It’s Time… Black Friday 2014 Sex Toy Sales!

To make things a tad easier this year, and potentially save you some time, click the banners below to skip ahead to your preferred manufacturer or retail sale details. Or, if you’ve got some time to spare, feel free to scroll through everything. The list is long, and surprisingly detailed… that’s what you get when I spend 2 days jumping between sites, comparing prices, and doing my damnedest to help you save. Let’s just say I do it because I love you all.

Manufacturers

Tantus Black Friday SalesFleshlight Black Friday SalesScreen Shot 2014-11-28 at 12.08.15 AMBlack Friday JimmyJane Sales

Retail

SheVibe Black Friday SalesPinkCherry Black Friday SalesVibrators.com Black Friday SalesLoveHoney Black Friday Sales
 

Black Friday 2014 Sex Toy Sales

Unless you live under a rock you’re probably very well aware of the fact that today is Black Friday… otherwise known as the-day-everyone-goes-bat-shit-crazy-trying-to-snag-stuff-at-rock-bottom-prices.

And sex toys are no exception. Every retailer or manufacturer has something going on, be it a discount on volume purchases, single item and bundled deals, or coupon codes to save on just about anything your vag or dick desires. Yeah, I went there.

Rather than leaving you to click around online in search of the best prices, I’ve conveniently listed all of the very best sales below. Consider this a token of my appreciation for your support over the years. That and a way of getting you to buy quality sex toys at a fraction of the cost, ’cause that’s just how I do.

SheVibe

SheVibe, one of the best sex toy retailers around, has tiered sales happening;

  • spend $75 or more and save 10% (use code ‘TURKEY10′)
  • spend $100 or more and save 15% (use code ‘TURKEY15′)
  • spend $125 or more and save 20% (use code ‘TURKEY20′)
  • *You also get free shipping if you spend $75 or more.

Not sure what to snag?

I’ve got a few ideas that’ll save you even more loot…

Combine the Lelo Adore Me Pleasure Set on sale for $89.99 (that’s $95 off the Lelo website) + JimmyJane Form 3 Vibrator on sale for $87 (reg $139 on JimmyJane website), then use code ‘TURKEY20′ at checkout to save an additional 20%, plus free shipping! Seriously guys, that deal is fucking ridic!

You could pair the definitive g-spot toy, Njoy Pure Wand for $99 (Njoy has it listed for $110) + Liberator Decor Throe for $89 (reg $120), or any of the Liberator Throes for that matter, + 4oz bottle of Sliquid H2O for $7.99, then use code ‘TURKEY20′ at checkout and save an additional 20%, plus free shipping! Honestly, if I could pick any combo of toys to give someone, this one would be it. If you’re a squirter you’ll thank me for this later. Promise.

If that doesn’t sound good, feel free to add some of these already reduced single items to your cart: Perk Dildo by Happy Valley ($20 off regular price before discounts), Fun Factory Curve Dildo ($20 off regular price before discounts), Fun Factory Cavalier butt toy ($23.60 off regular price before discounts), Rude Boy Prostate Massager ($35 off regular price before discounts), Spartacus Faux Fur Lined Ankle Restraints ($25 off regular price before discounts), and when you’ve hit the $75+ mark add your coupon codes to save even more.

Adore Me Kit LeloJimmyjane Form 3 Njoy Pure Wanddecorthroe
perkdildoFunFactoryCurveDildocavalierrude-boy-blue
SheVibe Black Friday Sale

PinkCherry

For my Canadian friends, PinkCherry, is knocking it out of the park this year! Use code ‘BLACK30′ when you’re checking out and you’ll save 30% on just about everything!

There are two sites to choose from, U.S. and Canadian, with the latter having quite a bit more to choose from brand wise, so I’m focusing my attention there. To be honest, the selection on both sites is pretty big, so I’m sure you’ll find something you fancy either way.

Here’s a few my favorite deals:

  • The coveted Njoy Fun Wand is only $47, (that’s $48 cheaper than the Njoy website). Prefer a plug? The Pure Plug 2.0 is only $61, (Njoy has it listed for $120). Just make sure to use the coupon code.
  • Originally listed around the $100 mark, the We-Vibe Thrill is only $18 (it’s also been discontinued so this may be your last chance to get one, no coupon needed).
  • Love G-spot stimulation? I’ve got the perfect silicone dildo for you, the Jopen Comet is only $40, everywhere else has it listed for around $75 (no coupon needed).
  • If you’ve always wanted a Fleshlight Mount, this is where you’ll find the best deals: On A Mission is only $91 (Fleshlight has it listed for $169), Top Dog is only $78 (Fleshlight has it listed for $114). Just remember to use the code.
  • Lelo’s Mona 2 is listed at $97 with the coupon, everywhere else has it sitting at well over $100.
  • Want something a bit more powerful? The famous Mystic Wand is only $42 (w/ coupon), that’s way cheaper than anywhere else!
  • Top brands Lelo, Liberator, Je Joue, Tantus, and many more are also 30% off with coupon code ‘BLACK30′.

If there’s a specific company you love, I suggest shopping the deals by manufacturers, it’s the easiest way to see what’s available.

Fun WandNjoy Pure Plug 2.0 We-VibeThrillJopenComet
Fleshlight Mount On A MissionFleshlightMountTopDogLelo Mona 2MysticWandMassager
 

PinkCherry Sex Toys

 

Vibrators.com

Vibrators.com doesn’t have as many quality products on sale as they did last year, but what they do have is beyond decent:

  • Lelo Induge Me Kit (included Noa waterproof, USB-rechargeable silicone couples vibrator with 6 modes, 100% Silk Blindfold, Tantra Feather Teaser, Gift Card, & Satin Storage Pouch) for only $99, Lelo currently has it listed for $205.
  • The Njoy Pure Wand is listed at $79, the cheapest I’ve seen it so far (Njoy website is $110, SheVibe has it for $99 + applicable discounts).
  • If you like the look of the Jopen Comet (listed above), but want something more, the Vibating Jopen Comet 2 is only $69.99, no coupon needed.

Don’t forget to check out their discount coupon page for free add-ons or coupon codes for free shipping.

IndulgeMeKitNjoy Pure WandVibratingComet

 

Lovehoney

Finding good deals on LoveHoney isn’t that hard, it’s just a matter of looking in the right place… and knowing which ones are quality products.

Vixen Creations deals:

  • Get a gloriously pink squishy and supple Vixen Creations Raquel dildo for just $60 (everywhere else is $100+)
  • There’s also the sleek and thin, but equally as lovely, Leo for $60 (usually around $75).
  • If you prefer more realistic toys, you’ll probably love the 6″ and girthy Buck ($80), the 7.5″ and thick Maverick ($80), or my favourite, average sized – but perfect – Tex ($70). All of those are usually $95+ on other sites.

Tenga deals:

We-Vibe deals:

 

Raquel Vixen CreationsLeo Vixen CreationsBuck DildoMustangTex Vixen Creations
Free Luxury Bondage Kit with We-Vibe Vibrators

Black Friday 2014 Sex Toy Sales: Manufacturers

Tantus

Tantus, one of my absolute most favourite companies ever technically has four major sales going, plus a whole bunch of single items that have been discounted;

1.) Save 15% when you bundle “mens” toys with a lube

2.) The grab bag section has products that are heavily discounted, we’re talking excessive savings

3.) BLACK FRIDAY… there’s so much going on here I’m not going to write about it, the images below list everything you need to know. Can’t view them? Here’s their black Friday sale page

4.) 24hr flash sales, sign up for email alerts and from Nov 28 – Dec 1. you’ll receive a daily email listing one item that’s heavily discounted for that day only. Friday = Neo Plug for only $15.99, that’s 50% off! (SALE OVER!). Saturday = Acute dildo 50% off, only $20.99!

I highly suggest you take advantage while you can. Tantus toys are nothing short of impressive.

*Don’t forget, you get US free shipping with orders over $100+, international is free with orders $200+. If you still aren’t sure about Tantus I suggest you watch my Tantus Haul video.

Save 15% when you bundle any boys toy with a lube Black Friday Sale - O2 + Harness ComboBlack Friday Paddle + Gag SaleProstate toy + C Ring + Lube Black Friday SaleVibrator + Suction Cup + Lube Black Friday Sale

Nurse Connoisseur Harness Black Friday Sale $30 offMr. Universe Black Friday Sale Save $41Pjur Silicone Lube Black Friday Sale Space Toys Black Friday Sale
Curve Harness Plus Dildo Kit Black Friday SaleRaptor Dildo Black Friday SaleAluminum Sex Toys Black Friday SaleTantus Cock Ring Sling Black Friday Sale
 

Fleshlight

Fleshlight has a shit load of sales going right now! However, depending on where you’re located they are going to vary…

U.S./EU

If you live in the U.S./EU you’ve got four options to choose from; 1.) Spend $90 and get one free 4oz Fire & Ice Lube Pack and a Shower Mount with Flight Adapter (total savings $53.90), 2.) Spend $150 get a free Launch Pad, plus Fire & Ice lube pack and Shower Mount with Flight Adapter (total savings $83.85), 3.) Buy 2 Fleshlight Girl sleeves, get one free (total savings vary), 4.) All Sex in A Can and Jacks Soda products are 50% off! (total savings $24.95, or buy two and it’s like you got one free!) You also get free shipping with orders $60+.

Fleshlight Black Friday SalesFleshlight Black Friday SavingsHalf Price Sex In A Can by FleshlightBuy 2 Fleshlight Girls Get 1 Free Black Friday Sale

Canada

If you live in Canada, spend $100 or more and you’ll receive 25% off + free shipping (total savings $45), spend $125 or more and get 25% off + free shipping + free 40z Fleshwash and Renew powder (total savings $65), or spend $200 or more and get 25% off + free shipping + free 40z Fleshwash and Renew powder + Fleshlight Pink Lady Vibro (includes mini-lotus sleeve, batteries/bullets, gun metal case – total savings $155!).

Speaking of Canadian deals, if you’ve always wanted a Fleshlight Mount, PinkCherry is where you’ll find the best deals so long as you use the coupon code ‘BLACK30′: On A Mission is only $91 (Fleshlight has it listed for $169), Top Dog is only $68 (Fleshlight has it listed for $114).

Fleshlight Canada SalesFleshlight Canada Black Friday SalesSuper Savings at Fleshlight Canada Black Friday Deals

JimmyJane

I almost never buy anything through the JimmyJane website, prices are often substantially lower elsewhere. Black Friday however, is the one and only time I’ll make an exception. Also, shipping is only a flat $5.

  • One of my favourite all time clitoral vibes, Form 2, is on sale for $99, you likely won’t find it for cheaper than $145 anywhere else.
  • Another fantastic vibe, the Form 4 is also on for $99, other trusted sites have it listed for $145.
  • I haven’t had the chance to try the Form 6 yet, but I’ve heard very good things. Right now it’s listed for $119, usually retailes for $175.
  • When it comes to the combos, you’re better off buying the Joy To The Girl set separately through PinkCherry (use code ‘BLACK30′ for 30% off).
  • Having said that, you’re going to save $45 snagging 3 vibes in the Pleasure To The People set.
  • Although it’s not cheap, you’ll save a lot more with a complete set of 4 by going through JimmyJane vs other retailers.

There’s more sales, but the ones listed are the best I found when comparing prices. Feel fee to check them out for yourself on the Black Friday at JimmyJane sale page.

JimmyJaneForm2JimmyJane Form 4 JimmyJane Pleasure To The People Setjimmyjane-form-vibrators-pink

Black Friday Sales JimmyJane

Lelo

I saved the best for last ’cause truthfully, it’s a fucking whopper! For the first time ever Lelo is letting anyone apply the 20% off discount code ‘BLACKF’ to EVERYTHING on the website…

THAT INCLUDES THEIR LUXE RANGE OF 24-KARAT GOLD AND STAINLESS STEEL PLEASURE OBJECTS. This is obscene… as in, it’s fucking unbelievable these things exist to begin with.

Of course I know there likely isn’t one person that’ll buy any of these, but I figured I’d toss them out there just for shits and giggles. YOLO, bitches.

  • The 24-karat gold vibrator, INEZ, regularly goes for $15,000 u.s. ($17,900 can.), add the discount code and you save $3,000 u.s ($3,580 can.)
  • Want a 24-karat vibe that’s smaller, and less expensive, the YVA regularly goes for $3,900 u.s. ($4,490 can.), add the discount and you save $780 u.s. ($898 can.)
  • Like the Ella g-spot dildo? Good. They’ve also got one in 24-karat gold… OLGA usually sets you back $3,490 u.s. ($3,990 can.), add the discount and you save $698 u.s. ($798 can.)
  • Then there’s EARL, a 24-karat gold prostate massager, regularly you’re looking at $2,590 u.s. ($2,990 can.), add the discount and you save $518 u.s. ($598 can.)

As for the rest of us (basically anyone that doesn’t have money to toss around on gold sex toys), here’s a few of my suggestions avoid the Ida (my review), and opt for the Tara. Definitely buy a Mona 2 or Mona Wave, they’re perfect for clitoral or g-spot stimulation (though they’re cheaper through SheVibe). Or, if you want something that will do both at the same time, snag an Ina 2, it’s what I’m asking for this Christmas. Oh, and you also get free international shipping.

Lelo Inezindexlelo olgaLelo earl
 

 

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#FunFindFriday: Hole Punch Toys

I really do hate to admit it, but after 8+ years of working in the industry I’ve started to grow bored with the vast majority of non-vibrating sex toys on the market.

That isn’t to say I think everything is bland, just that many of the highly accessible and heavily advertised ones are surprisingly uninspiring; there’s little attention paid to originality, the color choices are lackluster, there’s no freedom of artistic expression, and damn near all of them have no kick or imagination.

Talent. I’ve been missing talentcreativity… and vision.

Of course there are companies like Babes ‘N Horny, BS Is Nice, Whipspider Rubberworks, Vixen Creations,Vibeology, NobEssence, Divine Interventions, Bad Dragon, Fun Factory, Tantus, and Crystal Delights keeping it real and fresh, but in an industry that’s slowly starting to recognize and embrace smaller companies, there’s definitely room for more.

holepunchtoyscarrot

Enter this weeks #FunFindFriday: Hole Punch Toys, the designer behind some seriously fun and colorful artisanal small batch silicone sex toys, molded and poured by hand, one by one, in an art studio in St. Paul, Minnesota.

From playful radishes to carrot butt plugs, ice cream cones, stunning blue rockets, tri-colored popsicles, and a sleek blacked-out Nun, Hole Punch Toys has most of the bases covered when it comes to mixing art and pleasure.

The uniqueness doesn’t end there, unlike large volume manufactures each is made to order, and details like color are subject to the creators whim at the time of pouring. If he’s in a translucent grass-green mood, that is what you’ll get. Hunter green today? There you go. I have to admit, judging by this misfit box of toys or these white chocolate lookalikes, I’d be more than happy to get something completely my own.

Have an idea for a toy you’d like made? You’ve come to the right place, Bespoke toys are something they do. Just get in contact with a brief description of your idea, and if it’s something that can be done they’ll gladly work with you to make it happen. It’ll probably cost you a pretty penny, but there are times when it’s worth it. This is one of them.

Needing to know more I went right to the source, asking the creator if he’d answer a bunch of questions about Hole Punch Toys, the concept behind the designs, how the toys are made, etc. and he very graciously obliged. Big thanks to Colin for taking time out of his busy schedule, I totally appreciate it.

rocketholepunch1.) Who is Hole Punch Toys?

Hole Punch Toys are an extension of Hole Punch Studio, which is an arbitrary name assigned, for beuroctaric and advertising reasons, to the art I produce. I, being me, Colin. Primarily visual art, both two and three dimentiomal, audio visual, or in this case, silicone. I create one hundred percent of the material associated with Hole Punch Toys, with the exception of some borrowed imagery used in digital assemblages for labels and such.

2.) What motivated you to create Hole Punch Toys?

The same thing that motivates any creative endeavor I think. The challenge of bringing something that exist in your imagination into physical being. The process of making.  I suppose having sex toys in my head to begin with is telling of something, but I’ll leave that for another discussion.

hole punch radish3.) What sets Hole Punch Toys apart from other manufacturers?

It depends. If you are asking about the business as an entity, I would say that the main difference is in production capability.  This is a one person operation. I pour and package each piece to order in my free time which means each piece is approached as a singular object, made from a singular batch of silicone and tinted individually. That could all change of course, but for now, that is how it is.

If you are asking about the toys themselves, I DO NOT differentiate them from other silicone toys of this nature.

I think there is room for as many designs in this world as there are minds and the bodies attached to them. Not everything is for everybody. If someone likes what I make,  that’s fantastic. If not, that’s great also. Although it will hurt me deeply and might make me cry.

teeny creemee hole punch4.) Where do you draw inspiration for your designs from?

It is pretty plain to see my designs don’t come from a very high minded place.  Although I have appreciation for so called “fine art”,  I seem to have been impacted most deeply by the images and symbology of pop culture, from Saturday morning cartoons and comics to advertising imagery and the beauty of everyday objects.

All my art seems to be an effort to break down images and forms into their simplest components, which works well in designing insertables, where detail and complex shapes are not optimal. It suits my style, if I could be bold enough to think I have one.

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#FunFindFriday: Halloween Sex Toy Sales!

October 31st is finally upon us and with it comes some pretty sick Halloween sex toy sales!

I know most of you are probably busy panicking to find a last minute costume, putting the final touches on your party decor, getting the little ones ready for some trick or treating, or finalizing the list for your horror movie marathon, but do yourself one favor; take 10 minutes out of your day and snag a little treat of your own for later.

Below are the list of sales I know about, some popped up just for Halloween, others have been ongoing but could end at any time. Point being, take advantage while you can!

Tantus

Tantus currently has two deals going on, you can get a Large Silk from their already heavily reduced grab bag section for around 80% off the regular price (was $54.79, now only $9.99), or you can snag yourself any other butt toys for 25% off with code ‘CHEEKY’. I’d highly suggest a Perfect Plug or Little Flirt for those of you new to anal play, a Perfect Plug Plus, Ryder, or Neo for those with some experience, if you prefer something larger a Buck or Ringo are the way to go, you want extreme? the new Amsterdam (lg) or Cowboy knock it out of the park.  Remember, if you spend $100 you get free shipping (U.S. only), spend $200 get free international shipping.

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Fleshlight combo sale

Fleshlight

I’m not exactly how long the Fleshlight sale is on for, but if you’re shopping the Continental U.S. site they’ve got a BOGO deal going on right now; buy ANY Fleshlight and you’ll get a free mystery sleeve. Pretty sweet considering you usually have to buy two sleeves to get one free! If you’re on the Canadian site you still get 15% off anything, just not the BOGO deal.

They’ve also got the Fleshlight Freaks on sale for both sites, with best deals on the combo packs. Sure, they’ll arrive after Halloween if you order now, but who’s to say they won’t still be fun? No one. So buy one.

*If you’re in the U.S. you also get free shipping with orders  $60+, Canadians get free shipping with orders $100+. Bullshit, I know.

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Dracula Fleshlight Combo Deal

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If you think the idea of putting glass toys in your bits ‘n pieces is a scary idea, you’re seriously missing out. It’s spooktacular! Ugh, sorry, I just had to get a few good puns in while the moment was upon me. Don’t worry, I’ll stop.

For a limited time you can get 40% off Fucking Sculptures high end glass toys. Let it be known, these aren’t just for sex, these are art. Stunning, splendid, totally body safe, works of art! All they had in stock last time I checked was the Corkscrew, so grab one at a discounted price before they’re all gone.

While supplies last you can also get 40% off select JimmyJane toys, specifically the Form 3 and Form 4. Both of them are great, so which ever one you choose I’m sure you’ll be more than satisfied.

That’s pretty much it for the sales! I hope whatever you do this Halloween you have a fantastic and safe time… as for me, I’ll be nursing day 6 of a wicked case of Strep throat while eating soup broth and watching horror movies until my eyes bleed. xo

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