Choosing a sex toy can be an exciting, empowering, and personal experience, but with the wide variety of options available, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the choices. Whether you’re new to sex toys or a seasoned user, finding the perfect toy requires considering several factors, from your individual desires to your comfort levels. There are toys designed for all kinds of stimulation – vibrators, dildos, anal toys, couples’ toys, and more – each offering different experiences based on design, function, and materials.
Your body’s unique preferences and needs play an essential role in this decision-making process, and knowing what to look for ensures a satisfying and safe experience. That said, I hope this guide will help you navigate the specifics of choosing a sex toy, offering insights into how to find the perfect fit for both your pleasure and peace of mind. Whether you’re exploring for solo play or with a partner, the right toy can enhance intimacy, relaxation, and overall sexual well-being.
For those that aren’t quite ready to make a purchase, but are still curious my previous post, how to choose a sex toy – the basics, might be a good place to start.
1.) What Do You Like & What Do You Want The Sex Toy To Do?
The first step in choosing a sex toy is understanding what you enjoy and therefor, want the product to accomplish. Knowing what kind of experience you’re after will help guide your decision and ensure you choose a toy that aligns with your desires. Do you enjoy gentle, slow stimulation, or are you looking for something more intense and powerful? Do you need internal stimulation that targets the G-spot or the prostate? Would you prefer external pleasure for the clitoris? Or, are you someone that enjoys the sensation of internal and external stimulation at the same time?
While it may seem like a lot to ask, knowing what you specifically enjoy can ensure you’ll find the right toy for your needs; for some the clitoris is a very sensitive body part that becomes uncomfortable when deeply penetrating vibrations are applied, if so you’d definitely want to skip the Hitachi Magic Wand and instead look at the Eroscillator (pictured left). Perhaps you get easily bored by a steady vibration and instead need a variety of options that include pulsations, escalations, thrusting action, or independent controls that allow you to stimulate different areas in different ways simultaneously.
Additionally, size may be an issue, especially when it comes to length and girth as they directly impact comfort and pleasure. For vaginal toys, size can help reach specific areas, while the girth can enhance the sensation of fullness. Those new to internal toys or who prefer gentle penetration may want to start with slimmer options like a dilator set that allows them to explore comfortably. Conversely, if you enjoy more intense or full sensations, toys with a larger girth like Hankey’s Toys Topher Michels might be more satisfying.
For anal toys, girth is especially important due to the body’s natural response to gradual stretching; slim toys are often better suited for beginners, while experienced users may enjoy wider options. Choosing the right size and girth ensures that your experience remains pleasurable
If you’re unsure of what you like or haven’t explored much yet, choosing a sex toy can be an exciting opportunity for self-discovery. Start by considering toys that offer a range of sensations, allowing you to experiment with different types of stimulation. Multi-functional toys, such as dual-stimulators or vibrators with adjustable speeds, can be a great starting point because they provide both internal and external pleasure options. Simple, body-safe designs like basic vibrators or smooth dildos are good for beginners who are just exploring.
It can also help to read sex toy reviews or choose a toy that’s known for versatility, giving you the freedom to try different things at your own pace. Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to find out what you enjoy – exploration is key! Regardless of what it is you’re looking for I’m sure there’s a product on the market that can do it.
Still not sure you’re looking for? Don’t worry, I’ll break down the all of the options below!
2.) Know Your Options
When it comes to choosing a sex toy, it’s essential to know the wide range of options available to you. The market offers a diverse selection of toys designed to suit various preferences and experiences.
Vibrators are one of the most popular categories, providing stimulating vibrations to external areas such as the clitoris or nipples, as well as internal sensations when inserted.
Dildos, on the other hand, come in different shapes, sizes, and materials, often designed to simulate penetration and offer a feeling of fullness, without vibration.
For those who enjoy safe anal play, there are butt plugs, anal beads, and prostate massagers that cater specifically to the unique pleasure of that region. These toys often feature flared bases to ensure safety during use.
Beyond the basics, there are also toys designed for couples, such as strap-on harnesses, BDSM starter kits, or remote-controlled vibrators, which can enhance shared experiences by adding extra stimulation during intercourse. For people who enjoy sensory play, there are also toys that focus on non-penetrative pleasure, like feather ticklers, low temperature dripping body candles, or temperature-sensitive toys made of glass or metal.
Male bodied individuals have options like different styles of cock rings, strokers and masturbation sleeves, penis pumps, and a variety of other options.
Understanding the types of toys and what they offer will help you choose a product that aligns with your desires and sexual goals, whether you’re seeking solo pleasure or spicing things up with a partner.
Still not too sure where to start? Don’t worry, I’ll break down everything for you below.
Internal Stimulation
Internal stimulation refers to any type of sexual activity or product designed to provide pleasure from within the body, usually targeting areas like the vagina or anus. This type of stimulation is often sought for the sensations it brings by reaching nerve-rich areas such as the G-spot in people with vaginas or the prostate (commonly referred to as the P-spot) in people with penises.
Toys like dildos, vibrators, and even certain types of anal plugs are designed to provide deep, penetrating sensations that can offer a full, satisfying feeling. For many, internal stimulation creates a unique type of pleasure compared to external stimulation because it engages muscles and tissues that are highly responsive to touch and pressure.
The key to successful internal stimulation is finding what feels comfortable and pleasurable for you. Some individuals enjoy a strong vibration, while others prefer gentle, rhythmic movements. For those who enjoy internal stimulation, materials matter – some prefer softer silicone due to its squish and give, while others might gravitate toward firmer, textured designs for added sensation.
Lubrication is also essential, particularly for comfort and ease of insertion. Exploring internal stimulation with the right toys and techniques can lead to intense orgasms and a deeper connection with one’s body.
Products Designed For Internal Stimulation:
Dildos
Basic Dildos: Basic dildos are straightforward, non-vibrating toys designed for simple and effective penetration. Unlike more specialized or high-tech options, basic dildos, ike the Vixen Tex (pictured left), focus on delivering a natural, uncomplicated experience. They come in a variety of sizes and shapes, ranging from slim to thick, and are often smooth or slightly textured.
Made from body-safe materials like silicone, rubber, or even glass, these dildos are typically easy to clean and maintain. Some feature flared bases for safe anal play or for use with harnesses, while others have minimalistic designs for those who prefer simplicity. Basic dildos are ideal for beginners or anyone looking for a no-frills option for vaginal or anal stimulation.
G-Spot Dildos: G-spot dildos are specifically designed to target the G-spot, a sensitive area located about 2 to 3 inches inside the vaginal canal, on the front wall. These dildos are usually curved with an angled or bulbous tip to apply firm, consistent pressure directly to the G-spot, which can lead to heightened pleasure and intense orgasms.
Many G-spot dildos are made from body-safe materials like silicone, which offer flexibility and comfort, while others, like those made from glass or metal, provide firmer sensations for more targeted stimulation. The unique design of these dildos helps users explore G-spot pleasure more effectively by making it easier to reach and stimulate this specific area. Whether used for solo play or with a partner, G-spot dildos like the Strap-U Ripples (pictured left), are a great choice for those seeking deeper, more focused internal stimulation.
Double Ended And Harness Compatible Dildos: There are also specialty dildos designed for different experiences. Double-ended dildos allow for use with a partner, where both users can experience simultaneous penetration. Harness-compatible dildos are designed for strap-on play, making them ideal for couples who want to explore different dynamics. Many dildos are also compatible with temperature play – glass and metal varieties can be heated or cooled for an added sensory element.
Whether you’re looking for gentle penetration or something more intense, dildos provide a versatile and straightforward way to explore internal stimulation at your own pace. Their wide range of options makes them suitable for users of all experience levels.
Vibrators
G-Spot Vibrators:
Rabbit Style Vibrators:
Thrusting Vibrators:
Dual Penetration Vibrators:
Wearable Panty & App Controlled Vibrators:
External Stimulation:
Products For External Stimulation:
If you like the feeling of vibrations on your clitoris you might want to look at a bullet or vibrating egg, something that cuddles the clit, a vibrator designed to be worn or a “pocket rocket“. Most of these will be smaller in design than a product that’s meant to be inserted and usually come in a variety of vibration options. On top of being easy to use they’re discreet, not very intimidating, affordable (many are available for under $20) and travel rather well.
When it comes to the guys looking to last longer or even have stronger orgasms and/or ejaculations there’s quite a few decent cock rings on the market to choose from. Maybe you’ve always wanted to add a little extra girth or length to your penis, if so an extension or penis sleeve could help. If prostate stimulation is more your thing a product specifically designed for p-spot play would be better suited to your needs.
3.) Style & Design Features
If you’ve ever been in a sex toy store or browsed the selection of an online shop you’d know that the market is flooded with products in various shapes, sizes, colors and styles making the decision making process that little bit harder. As such, the next question you should ask yourself is; what you want your toy to look like?
Here’s where you get to have some fun and let your imagination go wild. Do you want a product that’s baby blue, has a bunch of vibration settings and offers some great clitoral stimulation? No problem, here ya go! Would you prefer a dildo in a dark shade of purple, made of high quality silicone that’s great for g-spot play? Done and done! Metallic gold more your style? Perhaps the entire rainbow? Done and done.
Maybe you’ve always had a thing for Cyborg, Frankenstein or Vampire sex toys, don’t worry Fleshlights got you covered… and when it comes to dragons or werewolves, look no further than Bad Dragon. Want something a little more Jesus-y? Divine Interventions is where it’s at! No matter the color or specifics there will likely be a product that matches perfectly.
On the flip side there are those that find anything other than a penis totally off putting, as such there are several available in the “ultra-realistic” category that look pretty close to a real penis. They’re often formed from a cast taken of a real penis, colored to look like a penis, and include all the veins and ridges a real penis would have. While you’ll rarely find good versions made of glass or metal, you’ll come across quite a few made from silicone or other ‘realistic’ feeling materials like Cyberskin or UR3… if you ask my opinion Vixen Creations has done a damn good job creating dildos that are esthetically pleasing and ‘real’ feeling.
When it comes to specific design features, you might want to think about whether you want a product with a lot of buttons, something that’s operated by one button, has an easy off function (turns off with one quick press), or has a dial to adjust the speeds/settings. Very often this is something that’s overlooked until you’re spread eagle on the bed, product inserted, only to realize that operating it is far from comfortable or easy.
For Those With A Penis
Unfortunately those with a penis have been “left out” when it comes to sex toys, but this seems to be changing. Sure, penis pumps and cock rings have been on the market since the beginning, but for a long time that was about it.
Thankfully with an increase in demand and a curiosity of their own, men can now enjoy sleeves (to enhance masturbation), oral sex simulators (designed to poorly mimic blowjobs), ticklers (which slip over the penis to potentially heighten pleasure for the user and their partner), pocket pussies (usually much cheaper than Fleshlights in every way), and blow up dolls (because having sex with a bouncy castle is harder than it seems).
If you’re not sure what you’d like, there are a few websites online dedicated to helping you find the best fake pussy toys, or you can check out my masturbator reviews to hear my thoughts on everything from Tenga Eggs to basic strokers. Though I have to admit, my penis envy belongs to Fleshlight… the products they create are the absolute best of the best!
4.) Materials
As previously mentioned, the adult novelty industry doesn’t have a “quality control board” to approve or deny the manufacture of products, as such many contain very harmful chemicals like phthalates which can reek havoc on both your body and the environment. If there is one suggestion that I advise you take into great consideration, its the material your toy is made out of.
Fortunately, with the rise in consumer awareness more and more companies are opting to make toys out of materials that are not only a little easier on the environment, but also a better option for use in regard to your body.
Aside from the basic health concerns, it is also important to know that different materials perform differently. Some like glass or metal may be easily chilled or warm up to aide in sensory play, while others may allow a harder/softer surface area for stimulation.
It’s also important to keep in mind that some may not be good for use with certain types of lubricants: you don’t want to use a silicone lube with a silicone toy as it will likely eat away at the surface with time. Oil products don’t do well with Fleshlights and will likely ruin them. My suggestion, when in doubt choose a good water based lube.
Basically put, each material has different characteristics and requirements when it comes to keeping it clean and lasting for a while, so before you make your decision take the time to investigate the varieties and see what would work best for you and your lifestyle.
When All Else Fails
At the end of the day I know how hard choosing a sex toy can be, especially if you really don’t know what you want. When it comes to those situations, I’ve got a solution; rather than forking out a bunch of cash for one specific item, opt to buy a few at lower prices so that you can experiment and see what works for you. Then, once you know what you like, save up and splurge on a big ticket item that you know you’ll love.
Hopefully by following this list of suggestions you’ll not only be able to find a toy that’s right for you, but one that will last for years and offer many hours of enjoyment!
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