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BAIT Giveaway Contest!

Normally I don’t veer to far from sex toys on this blog. But since it’s my main squeeze and something I’m exceptionally proud of him for, I’m sharing it here too.

If you like books that are dark, raw, grisly, heavy, fast paced, and thrilling, I suggest you check out his book BAIT.

What’s it about you ask, here’s the synopsis:

Six strangers that wake up on a remote island in the Florida Keys with no memory of their arrival. They soon discover their common bond: all of them are heroin addicts. As the first excruciating pangs of withdrawal make themselves felt, the six notice a yacht anchored across open water. On it lurk four shadowy figures, protected by the hungry sharks that patrol the waves. So begins a dangerous game. The six must undertake the impossible—swim to the next island where a cache of heroin awaits, or die trying.

Sounds good right?

It came out this past August in North America and the UK in September… with other releases set for Germany, Greece, Brazil, Bulgaria and Czech Republic. Just one more small step in our plans for world domination. *insert evil cackle here*

Check the trailer…

As for the giveaway contest, there’s 3 books up for grabs (1 per household)and winners get to pick whether they want the UK or North American version. Personally I LOVE the UK one. But that’s just me.

Want one? Everything you need to enter is in the form below.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Become A Reviewer – Part 5: Vlogging vs Blogging 2

A month or so ago Pantophile Panic DM’d me via twitter, asking for advice on getting into sex toy reviewing. More specifically, vlogging and blogging, which lead to a 3 part series on the topic.

If you’d like to read the first part, composed of 9 Q&A’s, you can find it here.

Otherwise, read on.

YouTube Image Logo1.) For vlogging, since YouTube is still borderline sex negative, have you vlogged anywhere else?

Before answering I need to explain a few things about YouTube and the way it worked back in the day…

When I joined YouTube in 2007 the ‘Partner Program’ was just getting started, and because they were testing the waters, they were very picky with who got accepted. For the first few years only those with exceptionally high view counts, living in the USA, creating content that was either relatively ‘family friendly’ or “highly marketable” were allowed into the program. Yes, there were some spread around other countries, but they were few and far between, operating more like guinea pig channels than anything else. It was a great way to make a living if you could get it. Back then chances were you couldn’t.

To make matters even more challenging, YouTube/Google spent a lot of their attention on what I call ‘crafting views’; rather than allowing videos to go viral on their own, the company pushed certain channels (ones that were ‘Partnered’) to gain higher views by adding them to every home page, having the videos pop up in the ‘related videos’ section (even if they weren’t related), suggesting those channels for subscription TO EVERYONE, holding view counts so only a select few rose to the top, and granting certain permissions (swearing, questionable content etc) others weren’t afforded. If that wasn’t enough, the company actively worked toward building Multi-channel Networks of ‘YouTubers’ that created content together with funding and support from YouTube/Google, (i.e. Maker Studios and Machinma). Basically put, if you were anyone but the few ‘chosen ones’, and/or didn’t have a network to back you, the deck wasn’t stacked in your favor.

Unfortunately, in the list of checked boxes YouTube required back in the day, the only thing I had going was high video counts (in 2007, 100,000 views a viral video made). Even though the content I created veered on the side of professional (no swearing, nudity, graphic images etc), by YouTube’s standards it didn’t. Slowly one by one, my videos started  being removed from the site with no explanation, notification, or response to my emails.  It was a slap in the face considering some of the other content they allowed. Wanting a home for my removed videos I began hunting for a site that was more accepting, both in regard to ‘partnering’ and the content I was creating (as per my Blip.tv account).  Finally, sometime during October of 2011, YouTube killed my account in its entirety, forcing me to take ALL of my content elsewhere.

So to answer the question, yes I’ve vlogged on other sites… mostly because I had no other choice. To name a few Vimeo, Girls Teach Guys (which is now defunct), a few others I can’t even remember since it was so long ago, and finally Blip.tv – which is BY FAR my favorite (*update Blip.tv shut down in 2015 not long after it was bought out by one of the original Multi-channel Networks, Maker Studios – I mentioned them above).

Thankfully joining the YouTube Partner Program is now open to pretty much anyone making videos (at least as far as I can see), so if you’re thinking of applying you shouldn’t have any problems. However if you do, don’t give up; of the 31 times I applied, I was rejected 30, and acceptance only came when I got my original channel back this year. Fucked up, but a step in the right direction.

2.) Did you ever worry about anonymity or people finding out about your blog?

Not really. I made videos long before I started blogging, so any chance of maintaining my anonymity went out the window. Also, most of the people that found my blog did so through my videos, so it didn’t make any difference. Add to that the fact that I placed videos (reviews and sex ed) on my website/blog to accompany written content, my face was pretty much everywhere. Having said that, I have in the past refrained from telling some friends or family what I do online. To be honest, for as accepting and open minded as they are, I don’t know how comfortable they’d be reading about me stuffing a Baby Jesus Buttplug in my ass, among other things. If they were to find me on their own, which many have, so be it. But I haven’t been readily handing out info to everyone that crosses my path.

3.) Did you ever have any bad encounters with subscribers or people commenting?

The trolls. Oh, the trolls. Let’s just say that I’ve been called every name in the book whether it be in relation to my body, gender, sexual orientation, the way I speak, how I dress, or what I choose to talk about. No one on the internet is safe from ridicule and judgement, so if you have a thin skin you might want to think about putting on some extra layers. It’s cold out there.

Your best defense: become very good friends with the Block and Delete buttons.

4.) Do you think sex bloggers should remain anonymous for safety reasons? What about sex vloggers?

That’s a tough question. As someone who’s been stalked online, received more than her share of hate mail, trolling comments, and threats – my favorite being the following…

I’m going to find where you live, cut your head off, nail it to a cross, and parade you around town like the blasphemous sinning whore that you are.

… I can understand how ones safety can be a big issue, no matter if you’re blogging or vlogging.

Whether you remain anonymous or not, if someone wants to be a total dick or threaten your safety, they’re going to. Not knowing specifics about you won’t stop them. It never has and it never will. Though I’ll admit, having a face to go with the name/vlog/blog gives them a bit more ammo since your looks or mannerisms will likely become targets for ridicule or judgment.

Even having experienced all the negative backlash, I still wouldn’t worry too much. But that’s me. If your safety is something you feel you need to protect, do so. It’s like the old adage goes ‘better safe than sorry’.

*For the record I actually found where said troll lived and reported him. Hacker friends tend to come in handy from time to time.

5.) Have you ever had an issue in real life with someone recognizing you from a video/picture?

Yes, and every time I’m left baffled but amused.

The most recent was 2 months ago at my best friends wedding, someone was at the bar and said I looked familiar but that he couldn’t place it. Soon after he found me and blurted out ‘this is going to sound really weird, and I don’t want to freak you out if I’m wrong, but are you that girl that made sex videos online?” I looked at him a little confused, puppy sideways head kinda deal, and asked “sex videos?”, to which he replied frantically ‘SEX ED! I MEANT SEX ED! NOT PORN, I DIDN’T MEAN PORN! ON YOUTUBE, THE VIDEOS ARE ON YOUTUBE!“. I live for moments like that. A week before I was recognized in a mall by a girl who thanked me for helping her learn how to express herself in the bedroom. A month or so before that I was recognized while waiting in line for overpriced beers at a concert. And just before that one of my co-workers asked if I made a video on dental dams, which she found while searching for some online. Even though all the experiences I’ve had have been amazing it’s still really weird to be ‘known’ by someone you’ve never met before.

6.) Have you ever had a video flagged/removed just for the sex toys?

YUP! In fact, MANY of the videos that were removed had sex toys in them. Even if the video was about kegels and showing products that could help strengthen them, or rounding up items that would be great for g-spot stimulation, or highlighting the importance of Eco-Friendly sex toys, it didn’t make much of a difference. They got flagged and/or removed. Not all of course, but many did.

*Update: after fighting YouTube for 2 years, eventually leading to threatening legal action, I managed to get the videos reinstated (which is how they’re on the site today!)

7.) Is there a way to avoid that by putting an 18+ only filter on each video?

Personally I suggest doing anything you can to avoid video’s being flagged or removed, be it adding an 18+ filter, limiting viewership to only those that have the link, placing an audio warning before the video, or uploading videos and embedding them on your site (without making them searchable in YouTubes filter). Sadly you likely won’t get the same viewership (in numbers) as you would if you left it open for the world to find, but if it means you get to keep your content I think it’s a good enough trade.

8.) What IS YouTubes policy about sex toys or things of a sexual nature?

Though you’ll likely find MANY videos of people reviewing sex toys, there is apparently an ‘unspoken rule’ that sex toys, even in review form, are a big no-no. Sex ed is fine. Sex positive content is fine. Even graphic depictions of genitals are fine (as per the number of gynecologist exams you’ll see on the site). However, finding evidence of this in writing is difficult, but can be found so long as you know where to look…

From the YouTube Community Guidelines;

We Review Videos Flagged As Inappropriate

Okay, this one is more about us than you. When a video gets flagged as inappropriate, we review the video to determine whether it violates our Terms of Use—flagged videos are not automatically taken down by the system. If we remove your video after reviewing it, you can assume that we removed it purposefully, and you should take our warning notification seriously. Take a deep breath, read our Terms of Use and try to see it from our perspective. If you find other videos on YouTube with the same violations, please flag them so we can review them as well!”

This, taken from their YouTube blog back in 2008:

Stricter standard for mature content – While videos featuring pornographic images or sex acts are always removed from the site when they’re flagged, we’re tightening the standard for what is considered “sexually suggestive.” Videos with sexually suggestive (but not prohibited) content will be age-restricted, which means they’ll be available only to viewers who are 18 or older. To learn more about what constitutes “sexually suggestive” content, click here.

Demotion of sexually suggestive content and profanity – Videos that are considered sexually suggestive, or that contain profanity, will be algorithmically demoted on our ‘Most Viewed,’ ‘Top Favourited,’ and other browse pages. The classification of these types of videos is based on a number of factors, including video content and descriptions. In testing, we’ve found that out of the thousands of videos on these pages, only several each day are automatically demoted for being too graphic or explicit. However, those videos are often the ones which end up being repeatedly flagged by the community as being inappropriate.

And finally this, which was added sometime in the last month or so from their Help – Policy Center:

Nudity and sexual content

If a video is intended to be sexually provocative, it is less likely to be acceptable for YouTube.

What is and isn’t allowed

Sexually explicit content like pornography is not allowed. Videos containing fetish content will be removed or age-restricted depending on the severity of the act in question. In most cases, violent, graphic, or humiliating fetishes are not allowed to be shown on YouTube.

A video that contains nudity or other sexual content may be allowed if the primary purpose is educational, documentary, scientific, or artistic, and it isn’t gratuitously graphic. For example, a documentary on breast cancer would be appropriate, but posting clips out of context from the same documentary might not be. Remember that providing context in the title and description will help us and your viewers determine the primary purpose of the video.

– read the rest here.

Why some people get shut down over others is anyone’s guess; maybe the person in the review panel was in a shitty mood and decided to take it out on you. Maybe you got trolled hard by some group, or person, with too much free time and decided it would be best spent flagging your content. Maybe your videos had a large number of hits in a short span of time giving you the opportunity to go viral and someone at the company didn’t think it was ‘appropriate’. Maybe there was a glitch in the system and your video got removed instead of just ‘limited’ (I had this happen a few times, sending a letter to inquire is always a good idea). Maybe someone put a copyright claim against the music in your video (be it by your own doing or because it was audible in the background). Maybe you’ve just got shitty luck. Or maybe your content really does go against their Guidelines and Terms of Service. Everything considered, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of videos removed or flagged on the site everyday. Do your best not to take it personally, because most likely it’s not. Easier said than done, I know.

I think it’s also worth mentioning that YouTube is run buy a bunch of marketing geniuses and loose cannons, both of which have too much control. If the content you created doesn’t offer them anything to advertise against or proves questionable, by anyone, for any reason, they’ll nix it without batting an eyelash. At the end of the day YouTube/Google, the Multi-channel networks it supports, advertisers, and everyone else involved, is it in it make a buck, and so long as their efforts are proving prosperous, your success or demise doesn’t really matter to them.

Like I said before, it’s always a good idea to have backups just in case their sights get set on you.

end rant.

So that’s it for the second part of the Vlogging vs Blogging Q&A! Thanks to Pantophile Panic for getting in touch and asking such thought provoking questions, you can find her website here. If you still haven’t read it, I suggest you hit up her post on the dangers of toxic jelly sex toys. It’ll likely make you think twice about that questionable toy hiding in one of your drawers.

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BLACK FRIDAY SEX TOY SALES & DEALS – 2013

 

CLICK THE BANNER BELOW TO VIEW

CURRENT 2016 BLACK FRIDAY SEX TOYS SALES

black friday sex toy sales

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Want to be the first to know about the upcoming sales? Just sign up through the form below and have them sent straight to your inbox as soon as they’re listed!

I usually don’t create posts for deals and discounts, instead using my sale page as a means of keeping you up to date. But since it’s Black Friday, the day when everyone goes bat shit crazy trying to snag stuff at rock bottom prices, I figured I’d make an exception. Consider this a token of my undying love for all of you. That and a way of getting you to buy sex toys, ’cause that’s just how I do.

*I’ll be adding more sales as I become aware of them, so keep checking back until Cyber Monday.

Here’s all the sales, deals, or discounts I know about…

Tantus

Okay, so this isn’t really a Black Friday sale since it’s been going on all month, but I love the company, products, and people behind it so much that I’m giving it one last little push. The truth is, I think everyone that’s sexually active (be it on your own or with a partner(s)) needs to own at least one thing Tantus makes, so do me a favor, I don’t care how much you spend, or what you buy, just SPOIL YOURSELF WITH SOMETHING. You’ve got until Sunday to save 30% off EVERYTHING they have online (just use code THEDIRTY30). If you still aren’t sure, I suggest you watch my Tantus Haul video, and read up on the company. They are nothing short of impressive.

Need some ideas? here’s few of my faves; Bend Over Beginner Kit, Neo Plug, Small Ripple, G-Spot Vibe, Cush 02 (my review), and the Tantus T-Rex (personally I couldn’t take it, but if you’re a ‘size queen’, you’ll LOVE. IT. my review).

Fleshlight

In case you didn’t know, Fleshlight has a shit tonne of sales on for Black Friday! EVERYTHING THE SITE is at least 25% off, with select deals going all the way up to 35% off. Personally I’d suggest the Stamina Training Unit Kit, Stoya Pleasure Pack, or the Vibro Pack. PLUS, you get free shipping with orders over $100, add on a free Mr.Limpy with orders over $125, or add on a FREE SLEEVE with orders over $150. If those are all too expensive for you, there’s always the option of grabbing a Classic Pink Lady for under $50.

Fleshlight lady Stamina Pack SaleStoya Fleshlight Sale Black Friday

Screen shot 2013-11-28 at 2.40.12 AM Classic Pink Lady Fleshlight Deal

 

SheVibe

Currently SheVibe has quite a few sales going on, the best being the ones I’ve provided images for below. They’ve also got $50 off the Mina Ola, the Classic Je Joue Mimi for $25 off, and the Aneros Evi for $20 off. You also get free shipping if you spend $75 or more.

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cat_jopen_15_sale

GoodVibes

You’ve got til Dec 2nd to save 25% SITEWIDE. That means just about EVERYTHING online is discounted, with no minimum purchase. They’ve got the new Limon Touch by Minna Life (reg. $119, now $89 w/ the 25% off), We-Vibe 4 (reg. $159, now $119 w/ 25% off – save $40), my original fave basic vibe the Butterfly Bliss (formerly, Butterfly Kiss) is not available in silicone (used to be TPR) for $21, a MustachiO vibrator… yes, it’s a vibrator that’s a wearable mustache, because why the fuck not?! for under $14, and the Stronic Drei Pulsator (reg. $199, now $149 w/ the 25% off – save $50). You also get free shipping w/ orders over $50 and a bunch of sample lubes to try out.

Screen shot 2013-11-29 at 2.00.38 AM Babeland

Until Dec 2nd 2013 save 20% on all Lelo toys with code “luxury”, save 30% on a bunch of their best selling items, plus get FREE shipping on all orders $50+. *try using lowercase letters with the promo codes at checkout if you have issues.

 

blackfriday-Bathmate BathMate Penis Pump

I’m personally all about body pride, learning to work with what you’ve got, and not feeling inadequate when it comes to penis size… but I know there are many of you that just won’t be happy until you’ve tried a penis pump that actually does what it says. In my opinion, and those of the friends I’ve given one to, the Bathmate DOES in fact work. No, the results wont be permanent (which is the same for ANY PUMP), but they will remain so long as you use it regularly and follow the instructions to a t. So, if you’ve been looking for a good pump at a decent price, use code BATHMATE and get 30% off.  Curious as to how the Bathmate works? check out my videos of the original Hercules model, or the larger Bathmate Goliath.

 

blackfri_alert-112213PinkCherry

As always, Black Friday at PinkCherry.com includes some pretty great deals; they’ve got the Tantus Raptor XL on sale for $44 (usually ranges from $70 – $90 depending on where you shop), the ENTIRE Ovo collection (T1 Lay On, L1 Love Balls, and F11 I have my eyes on you!), the new Vegan friendly, sugar, glycerin, petroleum, and paraben free flavored lubes by NaturLabs for under $12, and a bunch of other goodies! PLUS use code “FRIDAY” and take an additional 25% off EVERYTHING!

Vibrators.com

black-friday-vibrators

Staring at 8pm on American Thanksgiving, Vibrators.com is offering special deals on some of their best selling items. The drastically reduced prices (30% – 80%) will be offered on Black Friday and again on Cyber Monday, for now the sales are identical but I’m sure they’ll change as items sell out. Also, don’t forget to check out their discount coupon page for added deals or coupon codes for free shipping.

Lelo

Use code BLACKF and save 20% on EVERYTHING Lelo makes. My suggestion, avoid the Ida (my review), and opt for the Tara, or if you want something for dual stimulation snag an Ina 2, it’s what I’m asking for this Christmas.

Screen shot 2013-11-29 at 1.23.17 PM

Lovehoney

If you’ve been wanting a We-Vibe Tango (yes you have!), Tenga Fliphole, Beginner Bondage Kit, or a Lelo Mia 2, now would be a good time to hit up Lovehoney. They’ve got low stock, so check stuff out before it’s all gone!

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ShopSexEd102.com

Last by not least, if you want to help keep my reviews and videos going (yes, I’m getting on that asap!), shopping at my online store ShopSexEd102.com would certainly help. Not only are the prices discounted to start with, but if you spend $25 you’ll save $5 with code SAVE5, or spend $55 and you’ll save $10 with code BLACKFRIDAY, PLUS FREE SHIPPING (USA only).

BlackFriday sex toys sale

CLICK THE BANNER BELOW TO GO TO CURRENT

2016 BLACK FRIDAY SEX TOY SALES

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Become a Reviewer – Part 4 – Vlogging vs Blogging

This past weekend I was contacted by the lovely Pantophile Panic, who was seeking some advice on getting into the wonderful world of sex toy reviewing. More specifically, vlogging and blogging

Kara_Sutra, Pantophile Pantic, Twitter, Q&A, Vlogging vs Blogging

After realizing it took me 4 full DM’d speech bubbles on twitter just to answer one question, not thoroughly enough or the way I wanted to, I thought it would be easier to do a Q&A with her on vlogging vs blogging since I’ve had experience with both… so here we are, 19ish questions later.

For as much as I wanted to, I’ve decided that instead of doing all 19 questions in one piece, I’m splitting this in three parts. 9ish questions in this part, 9ish questions in the next, and another that answers a question on tips and concerns. As you can likely tell by the length of this post, I talk, or write depending on how you look at it, way too much.

At least it’s an easy read. Promise!

What are the best and worst parts of video reviewing?

I’m not going to lie, one of the best parts of video reviewing is seeing the video views climb and watching the hits on my website rise, though it’s not for the reason most would think. Sure, the attention is nice, especially when the majority of comments come from viewers you’ve seen pop up time and time again in support of you and what you do, but instead because to me that means I’m reaching people and having an effect.

At the end of the day if I’ve made one more person aware of a better sex toy manufacturer or retailer, helped someone realize it’s time to toss that stank jelly toy, educated on the benefits of eco-friendly sex toys, or provided the info someone needed to feel confident and okay in their sexuality (my Sex Ed 102 videos specifically), then I’ve done my job and achieved the goal I set for myself. Feeling like I’m a positive force in the community, one that’s working towards a greater good is worth its weight in gold, or sex toys as the case may be.

Also… working with people I admire, receiving thank you notes from viewers saying I saved the from buying something unsafe, seeing the finished product and the way it fills me with a sense of pride, and building friendships with my viewers are priceless things I wouldn’t trade. There’s been many times over the past few years where I’ve let my vulnerabilities show, only to have them welcomed with open arms and unconditional support. It’s nice to know that over for every troll I’ve had to deal with over the years there’s been at least another 20 kick ass individuals that have had my back. That’s an amazing feeling.

The worst… the trolls, the countless hours of editing only to have your software crash before saving, forgetting to charge something like a battery before hand, spilling water on your notes that you wrote in marker, so they bleed and leave you with damn near nothing to go from. Having a video not turn out the way you expected (too much glare, out of focus, etc), feeling unprepared even though you’ve spent the last 4 hours getting everything ready, dealing with censorship. Feeling like it’s a numbers game, as in – each video must get higher views then the last or else! (it’s such bullshit). Being interrupted by a ringing phone mid sentence, the trolls, that moment when you’ve been talking for 5 minutes only to realize the camera isn’t on. Knowing that you will be judged by someone, somewhere, simply because you’re talking about sex or sex toys. Feeling like the video you’ve created isn’t good enough even though 9 times out of 10 it is (oh, that shitty little voice in my head, how I loathe thee!). Creating the video, taking far too many hours to edit it, thinking you’re done… only realize you forgot to cover something exceptionally important. Talking as if you have marbles in your mouth, for no good reason (again, blooper vids!). Did I mention the trolls?

Should I both write a written review and make a video for each product to accommodate people who prefer one vs the other?

At the end of the day what you do is entirely up to you, but in my opinion if you can manage it, do both.

The video doesn’t need to be long unless you want it to be. The written portion doesn’t need to be long unless you want it to be. But doing both is definitely a good idea. There’s a reason YouTube videos are so popular… I’ll probably catch some slack for this but I think most people don’t want to make any real effort if they don’t have to. The majority of our days are spent working to put food on the table, a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, and dildos in our drawers. After someone busts their ass for 9+ hours the last thing they want to do is sit down and do something that requires them to think. If you ask people to watch a video that’s 10 minutes in length, or read a review that will take them 10 minutes, both covering the exact same content, 9 times out of 10 they’ll choose to watch the video. It’s just easier.

My point? The more content you can offer to the sex-centric melting pot, the better.

Do you recommend video reviewing vs traditional blogging?

The short answer, not entirely.

The long answer…

Over the past 6 years the landscape of the internet has changed quite drastically. Some say blogging is dead, however I think it’s starting to really take off, especially in the sex positive community. Yes, I know, sex bloggers have been here all along… but here’s the thing, now more than ever sex ed is far more accessible, unbiased, open minded, all-inclusive of gender, race, and sexual orientation, up to and including the use of sex toys. It’s shifting towards being pleasure centered rather than penis-goes-in-vagina-this-is-how-you-make-a-baby or vibrators-go-in-a-vagina-and-NOTHING-goes-in-your-butt type of thinking. And that’s important.

Of course there are benefits of each…

Written content will help build your SEO in a way videos can’t, give you the opportunity to talk about things you might not want to on camera (i.e. your personal experience), allow a space to place text and banner ads so you can hopefully make an income, provide a place you can upload photos and make everything work together seamlessly in one place, and keep you safe from censorship or being shut down.

Videos on the other hand will grant you a much wider reach, make your content easier to find, likely be viewed more than a written review, offer a completely different and much more relevant way to show the product off (seeing someone hold a vibrator gives them a better idea of the size etc then seeing it in a picture), potentially make money (if you can monetize views), and get to know the person behind the reviews – you – in a far more personal way.

Which do you enjoy more personally?

To be honest, I love them both for very different reasons, with the written element coming in slightly ahead. The videos help get my content out there and are much more fun to create, but the written aspect is mine. Let me explain…

When I first started reviewing I just did videos and was totally happy with that. But as my videos started to gain regular views in the tens of thousands I found there were far too many people that judged, ridiculed, posted crappy comments, and acted like juvenile asshats. That’s when I decided to include the written element as an outlet for my personal experiences; rather than voluntarily airing my goings on with the world, I saved them for my blog. It was where I felt protected and safe to say what I wanted, without having to deal with a shit tonne of immaturity or negativity. My videos became less of a ‘review’ and more of a ‘product feature’ to compliment my writing, my blog became my own little corner of the internet. If someone really wanted to know what it was like they could go read about it on my site, if they didn’t that was their choice. Either way, I covered all of the bases and had two bodies of work that made me feel proud and accomplished.

How do you work with affiliates when reviewing a video, do you leave their links in the video description? Give them a verbal thank you?

This is something you’ll want to work out with each company you work with but for the most part, I’d include 2 links to their site within the video (one unaffiliated, one affiliated), a link to them in the description bar (affiliated), and a thank you within the video. Anyone that sends you a toy to review and an affiliate program to make a bit of money deserves some respect, and thank yous are always nice.

Here’s my one little warning: anything you put in the video will remain there forever. Even if you don’t work with the company anymore. Even if they kill their affiliate account. Even if they turn out to be assholes that you’d never want to work with again. I repeat, anything you put in the video will remain there forever. Be careful who you choose to work with and what you choose to include in your videos, once it’s online there’s no way to fix it. Sure you can pull the video down, re-edit it, and re-upload it, but that’s a major pain in the ass, especially if it’s a video with a high view count.

Would you say having a YouTube channel increases traffic to your website at all? By how much?

Yes. Most definitely, yes. Days when I upload videos I’ll see an immediate spike in traffic on my websites, social media, and an increase in sales on ShopSexEd102.com. But that’s me, and I’ve been at it for 6 years. Unfortunately I can’t specifically say how much it will increase your traffic because that’s dependent on a variety of things; your view counts, how well you use the various opportunities for being found (linking, social media, tags, annotations, proper video labeling, etc), whether the content your covering is something people are interested in, how many subscribers you have, how many videos you have, how credible you seem etc. It’s different from person to person, but in the long run it will definitely help.

I don’t want to remain completely anonymous as a blogger. I want to be able to show people, and say “look at what I created.” People have suggested that I only do toy reviews while wearing a mask, or a wig and contacts. Disguise myself. I don’t want to do that. What are your feelings about that?

If you don’t want to do that, then don’t. The world needs more people that are willing to talk about sex in an open and transparent way, who are fearless when it comes to changing the game, who have a passion for what they do, take pride in it, aren’t ashamed, embarrassed, or scared of having their faces seen. Not that I have a problem with those that do, I understand more than many the importance of anonymity, but the more visible those within the sex positive community become, the better for everyone.

End.

So that’s it for this part of the Vlogging vs Blogging Q&A! Thanks to Pantophile Panic for getting in touch and asking such thought provoking questions, you can find her website here. I suggest you take a gander at her eye opening post on the dangers of toxic jelly sex toys. All I can say is Ouch!

For those of you just getting into reviews, be it vlogging, or blogging, hopefully all the info I packed in didn’t overwhelm you. ‘Cause Lord knows, that’s the last thing I want to do.

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Sex Ed 102 Q&A – Vaginal Odor, Douching, & Feminine Hygiene

Question:

I’ve been watching your videos for a while now and would like some help with a problem I’m having with my girlfriend, frankly: her vagina smells. I bought her douche kits, have made her take a bath before sex, even suggested she try using deodorants “down there”. She doesn’t like it either, but she doesn’t seem to do much to fix it. I will be honest, our sex life has even started to suffer since I don’t like the way she smells. I don’t want to make her douche every time we have sex… but I don’t know what else to do. We have been together for quite a few years now and it just seems to keep getting worse. Is there anything I can do?

Answer: Vaginal Odor, Douching, & Feminine Hygiene

Thanks for watching and supporting what I do.

Before I get started please understand every woman has her own body chemistry and hormones that contribute to the way she smells and tastes. Regardless of how healthy she eats, how much time she spends scrubbing her genitals, or the choices she makes both in and out of the bedroom, she is going to have her own unique scent. That’s just how it goes.

As for my suggestions, first and foremost: stop making her douche! The vagina is not meant to be flushed with harsh chemicals or detergents. That’s probably the WORST thing you could suggest she do.

I’m pretty sure this is probably the first time you’ve heard that, so let me explain how things work…

The vagina has a naturally acidic pH level (healthy vaginal pH sits around 3.8 to 4.5 out of 14) that takes care of all the bad bacteria via discharge – fluid from glands inside the vagina and cervix – which carries away dead cells and bacteria, keeping the vagina clean and helping to prevent infection. When a person douches they wash away both the good and bad bacteria. Now with the good bacteria removed, the vagina is a perfect environment for the bad bacteria that enters to take over and run rampant.

With that in mind, she doesn’t need to use heavy soaps, detergents, creams, cloths, or sprays. Mild soap and water will suffice for external cleaning of the vulva.

My second suggestion is to bring up the option of 100% cotton underwear as it will allow her body to breathe and reduce the amount of sweat present, which will also hopefully result in less of a vaginal odor. Aside from that, it would be a good idea to limit the amount of tight synthetic material, thongs, and g-strings she wears as they trap bacteria and can bring on the potential for infection.

If she uses deodorant on her vagina I suggest she stop. That, like douching, can equal a recipe for disaster; the body sweats for a reason. By applying deodorant to her vulva/vagina she can not only increase the chance of infection, but also confuse her body and force it to overcompensate in other ways.

I’d also suggest talking to her about seeing a doctor as the cause of the smell might be due to an infection like bacterial vaginosis (caused by an imbalance of naturally occurring bacterial flora).

Some common causes of Bacterial Vaginosis

  • Douching – using water or a medicated solution to clean the vagina
  • Having a bath with antiseptic liquids
  • Having a new sex partner
  • Having multiple sex partners
  • Perfumed bubble baths and some scented soaps
  • Smoking
  • Using an IUD (intrauterine device), such as a contraceptive device made from plastic and copper that fits inside the uterus
  • Using vaginal deodorants
  • Washing underwear with strong detergents or change of laundry detergent

Among other natural causes, Bacterial Vaginosis may occur from semen entering the vagina and throwing off the natural pH balance. That said, if you’ve been having unprotected sex, stop. After she has seen a doctor and knows that she’s free and clear of an infection, or has been successfully treated for one, go back to using condoms to limit the semen that comes into contact with her vagina (unless your trying to conceive of course).

The last thing I want to bring up on this topic is that the way that you choose to discuss it with her and the words you choose to use will have a direct impact on her as a person and a lover;

If you go to her in a loving way, with kind words, the offer to help and be willing to learn all that you can (even possibly help pay for medication or cotton undies) she will be more willing to oblige and attempt to “fix the problem”.

If you go at her in an angry, disgusted, frustrated, turned off, embarrassed or rude manner, I can pretty much guarantee that you will not only offend and hurt her, but also create a situation where she feels embarrassed and ashamed of her vagina and in turn her sexuality. She will think of her vagina as “dirty”, “gross”, or “shameful”, and likely not want to put out… and when she does, she will be less than enthusiastic and probably wont enjoy it very much. Trust me, I hear it all the time.

On that note, please also try to understand that for most women their vulva/vagina is a very touchy subject. Most are raised in a society that teaches us to believe that our sexuality, body parts, and sex itself, are things we shouldn’t speak about and should hide away from others;

  • we are taught to use words like “private parts” in reference to our genitals, a seemingly innocent choice of wording that only further instills this belief.
  • depending on the culture a female has been raised, she could be taught to think that her vagina is “foul”, “disgusting”, “gross”, “dirty”, “nasty”, and all those other words associated with the things we shouldn’t want to touch or talk about.
  • daily we are bombarded by mainstream media promoting products that “help” women to feel “fresh”, “clean”, and smell like “flowers” or “summer rain”. These companies do nothing more then make millions by continually misleading the mass viewing public and cause unknowing females to believe that their vaginas are not self cleaning and instead shouldn’t smell the way they do.

Basically, the vulva/vagina is something that not very many women are comfortable talking about… let alone their own genitals.

Be conscious and conscientious with your choice in wording and how to choose to deal with the situation, and understand that by bringing it up you could be hitting a really vulnerable issue for her.

If your relationship is important to you, I suggest that you take the time necessary to understand the way the female body works and learn as much as you can. Unfortunately, due to the corporations that solely exist to make society think vaginas are “dirty”, we are taught to think that there is really only one option, when instead, there are many.

I hope that this helps you understand that there is nothing wrong with her or the way she smells and provided you with options to think about.

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