Sex is a natural and beautiful act of intimacy between two (and sometimes more) people. If you’re in a new relationship and aren’t sure where you stand with your partner, or you and your partner have been together for a long time and find yourselves in a rut, perhaps it’s time to look at how you’re communicating. Communication is an essential part of making a relationship last, but it’s also a major building block to create trust and understanding in a new relationship.
Communicating what you want in bed is also a great way to keep the spark alive and both partners pleased. If you’ve found that your sex life is becoming boring, or that your partner just doesn’t seem to arouse you in the ways they definitely could, talk to your partner about what you both want and need. The more you make your desires known, the better the sex will be, and the more trust you’ll have between the both of you. This is my favorite guide to communicating with your partner.
Are We Exclusive?
This is a very important first step in a committed relationship. While ethical non-monogamy has become a hot button term, meaning that preference goes to relationships that are committed and intimate, but that partners are also allowed to go outside of the relationship to quench their sexual needs. This model isn’t for everyone, but it is worth exploring if you find that an open relationship would be the best thing for you and your partner sexually and romantically.
For those that do want to be absolutely exclusive with your partners, make sure that you and your partner are on the same page. Even if it seems like an awkward conversation at first, discussing your exclusivity is extremely important in building trust. More than that, open and honest communication is one of the best ways to stay in touch with your partner on an emotional level.
What’s Your History?
While you don’t have to tell any new partners your complete sexual history, unless you want to, you should disclose any potential STI/STDs you may have, especially if you have a health concern like Herpes or HIV. While you certainly don’t want to interrogate your partner or be interrogated yourself, try to be as honest as possible so they get a fuller scope of your sexual past so that everyone can make decisions based on their health and wellbeing.
What Do You Want?
One of the sexiest things you can do with your partner is discussing what you both want in the bedroom. There’s nothing to lose and everything to be gained. By making your partner aware of your fantasies, fetishes, and wants, you allow them to explore the things they’re comfortable with or would also be interested in trying.
Make sure you listen to what your partner wants as well. This isn’t a one-way street. The more you get to know your partner’s fantasies, the better you will get at pleasing them. This can be an incredibly hot way to explore fantasies you’ve been envisioning for a long time!
