Becoming A Reviewer – Part 3 – Writing A Review

For those of you just getting into this series I highly suggest you go back and read the first article “Getting Into the Sex Toy World ~ part 1 Building Your Blog“. The article outlined free sites you can use to build your blog, provided examples of online sex toy reviewers that I think are FANTASTIC, included what you will need in regard to categories, and provided some “do’s and don’ts” that I think would be very helpful in developing your blog.

Once you’ve read the first article, and taken the time to build your blog, I suggest you read the next in the series “Getting Into the Sex Toy World ~ Part 2 ~ Becoming an Online Affiliate”. The article outlined the steps to take in becoming an online affiliate, provided a list of online sex toy shops you can affiliate to, and offered some tips to help you fill out the necessary forms.

*If you start to feel like you’re missing out or losing track don’t worry. There is no way to fall behind.  Go at your own pace and remember, this isn’t a race and you don’t have to rush to “keep up”. If it helps, I’ll be linking to previous articles in the series just so you can make sure you didn’t miss anything.

For this weeks article I’m going to cover writing a sex toy review, the next step in getting into the sex toy world.

As with the previous articles I need to stress that in order to write reviews and have affiliate accounts you need to be of legal age before getting started. As long as you are 18/21 (depending on where you live) you should be fine, but it’s always better to be safe then sorry.

Where To Begin

For most of you writing about sex toys may seem embarrassing, overwhelming, confusing and a little discouraging, especially if you don’t have much experience with them or know where to begin.

The best advice I can give when it comes to writing a review is to stick with what you know;

*If you don’t have a lot of experience with toys but have tried a handful of different condoms, write about them; the way they felt, if there was any noticeable difference between types or brands, what you liked about them (or didn’t) and why. Sure, many bloggers don’t like covering this subject (they have their own reasons), but I think it’s a valid place to start since it gets you talking about sex, thinking about the way things feel, what you like and don’t like, allows you to explore and experience your body in a new way, and gives you the opportunity to write about your findings in a relative way.

*If fetish play is more your thing and you’ve had experiences with items like novelty handcuffs, paddles, ticklers, blindfolds or restraints (meant for tying up) then write about that.

*If you recently watched an adult movie (porn) and it’s fresh in your memory write about it. There is nothing wrong with critiquing a movie, even when it porn.  For all you know you could become the next Roger Ebert of porn. Not a bad gig if you can get it.

*If all you’ve ever tried is a massager (that wasn’t actually designed for sex play) feel free to write about it. It’s surprising how many personal massagers double as some of the best sex toys. That’s how the legendary Hitachi Magic Wand started out.

*Finally, if you’re really stumped you can always take $20.00 to your local sex shop and purchase some basic toys to review. Decent products like the Power Bullet, My First Vibe, V-Ring or Butterfly Kiss can often be found for less then $20.00. If you have money left over you can also usually find products like cock rings or other novelties for under $5.00 to review. *Just make sure that whatever you purchase is body safe and phthalate free.

**once you’ve written a few reviews and linked to products through the sites you’ve affiliated to I’ll show you how to apply as a ‘toy reviewer’. I’d do it now but most companies want examples of your work to go on, which is what this whole series is meant to help you create.

Bare Necessities

No matter what type of item you’re reviewing there are basic key features or benefits that need to be included which will allow the reader a better understanding of the product in question;

*not listed in order of importance, that’s for you to decide.

Material:  Many people have allergies to materials like latex or have issue with the harsh chemicals that can be found in most jelly toys. By listing the materials you allow the reader to make a decision with their health and well being in mind, while also giving them a better idea of what the toy might “feel” like. *if you’re not sure what type of material the product is made of (after checking the box) I suggest you check the “sex toy materials” page located on the Babeland website.

Size: For some people size does matter, which is why it’s always important to list the size in length, girth and/or width of a product. While you may think I’m mentioning this because of the myth that “bigger is better”, I’m actually suggesting it because for most females a smaller toy is one they would prefer to have. By listing the size of the product you allow the reader to make a decision based on whether or not they find that particular size to bring pleasure or pain, not to mention whether or not it would something they could easily hide.

Function: The best way to describe the function is to suggest the type of stimulation the product has to offer; is it light/indirect or moderate/direct stimulation? The idea here is about the “power” the toy gives off rather then the actual stimulation you use it for.

Intended Use: This is where you want to cover what it’s meant to be used for; is the product designed for nipple play?  clitoral stimulation? is it great for helping to find the g-spot? can it be used anally? these are all questions you want to ask yourself when using a toy. Sometimes you’ll find that a product designed for one type of use is actually better for something completely different. If that’s the case, write about it.

Style: Most people assume that a vibrator is a slim, pasty white, elongated shaft with a dial on the bottom that simply vibrates. Little do they know that sex toys now come in 1,000’s of different styles, colors, textures and shapes. By describing the product you’re reviewing you give your reader a better visual picture of what it looks like and if it’s something they might like.*it’s also a good idea to include pictures of the product so that your readers can see it for themselves.

Cleaning Instructions: While most reviews I’ve read tend to leave this out I personally think it’s a very necessary issue to cover, especially considering the number of products that can be ruined due to improper cleansing techniques. Aside from that, it’s also good to note cleansing instructions as it helps your readers avoid any possible infections.

Compatible Lubes: This is another area that I find tends to be forgotten or left out of most reviews. You may opt to do the same but I think it’s a good thing to mention in order to avoid causing more damage then good. With so many luxury products on the market it would be a shame if someone ruined their toy by using something that wasn’t compatible.

The Bad: No matter what it is that’s being reviewed, there is almost always something that a person can find that they don’t like. When mentioning the “negative” aspects of a product be honest but always try to be careful of your words and respectful of the company that makes it. You are allowed to offer constructive criticism, and if you have the je ne sais quoi to bash a product without totally offending retailers and companies to the point that they don’t want to work with you, go for it (I think Epiphora does that best).

You don’t have to write your review in this order, nor do you have to include headings or titles if you don’t want to. This list was simply created to give you a good idea of what you consider when writing your review and what you might want to include. Feel free to take out or mention anything you want. It’s your review, not mine.

As for length, it doesn’t have to be long or winded; it just has to speak of your experience honestly, openly and with some sincerity…especially if you are someone that wants to have others read their reviews and trust their judgment on toys.

Be Creative

When it comes to the actual review do you’re best to be creative and remember there are no rules. There is no “right” or “wrong”;  just your experience with a product as described by you.  Be honest, responsible, and respectful with your approach, but don’t be afraid to have fun with it.

Tip: You’re fully allowed to use choice words like “cunt”, “pussy”, “cock”, “dick”, “vag”, “coochie”, “va-jay-jay”, “fuck”, “ass”, “shaft”, “shlong” if you want to.  Just don’t go overboard or it will possibly come across as tacky or unprofessional.

You’re also allowed to talk about your own “personal” experience with the product if you want to i.e. “Last night while I was masturbating I tried using the new xxxx in my wet pussy…” – see where I’m going with this. Again, you don’t have to do it this way, but I have read some reviews that were explicit and found them to be not only hilarious, but also very informative and fun. Just choose your words carefully.

For those of you that want some inspiration or just some ideas of how to write a review these are ones that I love and think might help you discover your own personal writing/reviewing style;

Hey EpiphoraThe Alumina Motion

Pop My Cherry Review Pirates (porn)

Beautiful DreamerBow Mesh Corset

Britni TheVadgeWigAdventures in Packing, Or, Product Review: Mr. Limpy

Naughty EliotGlass Dreams Topsy Turvy

CarnivalesqNjoy Fun Wand

Kinky WorldMoist Lube Dispenser

Pretty Power ToolseLove by Fun Factory

Hey EpiphoraLove Letter To Turbo Glider

Wrapping It Up

Sex toys are fun, so make your review fun…make it something you would want to read if you were someone else. Allow it to be that place where you let loose and just let go for a minute. It’s your space and your blog. No one else’s.

I’m sure most writers would agree that the key with writing the review is to just write it. Don’t let your fear of failure or judgment get the best of you and if you get stumped take a break. You’re allowed that. Remember, this isn’t meant to be stressful.

Once you’ve written your first review I can pretty much guarantee that you’ll want to write another, and another, and another. There is something quite thrilling about talking about sex toys… even more so, writing about them.

Remember guys, I was once in your shoes and know just how confusing it can seem. With a little help and support I’m sure you can learn how to be successful at doing something that is not only liberating but shit tonnes of fun as well!

To make it easier I suggest you take this coming week to write a review of something you’ve tried, even if you didn’t like it. That way you’ll have something to learn how to link  through when the time comes.

For those of you that don’t yet have a blog but would like to participate, I suggest you go back to the first article in the series, Become A Reviewer – Part 1 – Building Your Blog, and get started. From there head over to the second part in the series, Become A Reviewer – Part 2 – Becoming An Affiliate and learn everything you need to know about affiliating so you get toys, and hopefully make some money from your reviews.

If you have any questions about setting up your blog/becoming an affiliate do your best to find the answers online, if you can’t feel free to send me a message and I’ll do what I can to help.


Want to stay up to date with the new reviews? Just sign up for an email update through the form below!

Enter your email address:

7 Responses to Becoming A Reviewer – Part 3 – Writing A Review

  1. Kayla July 3, 2010 at 10:40 pm #

    Thanks for the link. I’ve read through the series, and you definitely have some good tips here. 🙂 If anyone asks me how to start up in sex toy reviewing, I’m going to direct them here. 🙂

  2. Trixie July 7, 2010 at 12:58 pm #

    I am super excited you are doing this. Because of you I started a newsletter (reviews and how-to’s) for the adult store I work for and have been recently thinking about a website and making some money online. I have been a fan for a long time. When I first started it was your videos that gave me most (90%) of my knowledge. From one big brested girl to another YOU ROCK!

  3. Kit O'Connell July 10, 2010 at 6:44 am #

    Thanks for writing this series, it will be excellent to pas on to friends who are envious of my free sex toys.

    If you wanted to do a part 4, you could talk about how to publicize your blog/reviews using Twitter, the Pleasurists review round-up, and so on.

    • Kara_Sutra July 10, 2010 at 6:52 am #


      #4 will be teaching how to go back to your previous reviews and link to the companies you are affiliated with so that you can start drawing traffic to your affiliate account and make a commission (money) from the toys that sell through your link/review.

      #5 will be taking those reviews and linking them to sites that will help you grow your online presence; basic social media and review round ups

  4. Addy Vidao March 11, 2011 at 10:02 am #

    A couple of years back when reading from your cellphone wasn’t feasible, I barely read on the go, but nowadays I found my self coming back for more from your writings and posts, and because of development in technological know-how I can do this everyday whilst I travel.

  5. Johnny Video March 15, 2011 at 4:59 pm #

    I can’t remember very much how i got right here, but boy oh yeah boy I truly did not need to hesitate and read some of your articles, they are just fine works of publishing and incredibly much great views on just about this particular hard subject. Rock on my friend.

  6. Dub H March 18, 2011 at 5:29 pm #

    Liking a post could be like giving an optimistic opt for change, I can like any post I like, but no loves can be squandered through me if I give a good one to your website. I tell you at this time, this has a good like from me personally.

Leave a Reply

Read previous post:
Review: Superbe by Natural Contours

If there is one thing I love about this “job” it’s the fact that I get see so many great...