The discomfort you may encounter during first time anal sex could be minimum or very intense depending on how relaxed you are. It’s for this reason that I created these anal sex tips, all designed to help make things a bit more comfortable and fun.
Take Your Time & Relax
I personally suggest taking some time to “warm up” before engaging in anything full anal penetration, by this I mean doing some relaxing breathing exercises, meditating if need be, and getting comfortable with your partner.
Once you’re relaxed and feel ready, get out the lube (silicone works best as it requires less re-applying and is the slipperiest product on the market) and apply a large amount to your butt hole, then take a finger and use it to insert some internally. This will allow for easier penetration and once inserted, much less friction. When I say a lot I mean A LOT! Don’t be stingy, unlike the vagina, the anus does not self lubricate, so the more you apply the better.
Remember, the more relaxed you are more relaxed your muscles will be, which will allow for the proper insertion of a toy, finger or penis with less discomfort.
After you’ve added the lube, add a finger and just a finger; the anus has a very tight opening and trying to insert a penis can be shocking to the system. Going too fast too soon can cause you to tense up, leading to a painful experience rather then a enjoyable one. By using a finger you prep the body, stretch the muscles, and allow the receiver to get used to the feeling.
Once the finger is inserted, have your partner leave it there for about a minute or so. Don’t tell them to thrust or move it around… just insert it and leave it. This will allow you and your body to get used to the feeling and relax the muscles.
Go Slow & Start Small
When you feel ready slowly remove the finger and move onto a toy or your partner. I personally suggest using a toy that’s between the size of your finger and your partners penis, this will give you the opportunity to work up to something larger with minimal discomfort.
Any of the Tantus Silk products (small, medium, or large) are amazing options as there’s limited texturing, a round base to keep them from going too far in, and a flexible body to make them totally comfortable.
When it comes to penetration, start slow at first (with the thrusting) and if it makes it easier for you… do it doggy style. Have your partner on their knees staying as still as they can. Then take control and back up onto it. This may make it easier for you to “take it” as you’re the one determining how far it gets inserted and at what speed. The human body is an amazing thing and it’s quite astounding how much it will endure when you put your mind to it.
Finally, be gentle and go slow. I know that we all see the people of porn taking it like champs, but they are “trained professionals“. It’s what they do for a living and have been doing for quite some time (in most cases anyways). You unfortunately are not a porn star and anyone who believes you can take a pounding the first time is grandly mistaken.
**One more thing, NEVER go from back to front. By this I mean going from anus to vagina, doing this can lead to vaginal infections like bacterial vaginosis or a yeast infection.
Great, quality silicone toys like the ones Tantus makes. They’re phthalate free, latex free, wont absorb any bacteria, can be cleaned in a large number of ways, are hypo allergenic, hygienic and perfectly safe for anal use. Even better, Tantus makes a large amount of toys that are specific for anal play; having a flared base and small enough for comfortable insertion.
A very good quality silicone lubricant. Silicone is very slippery, compatible with latex, and requires very little reapplying; something I’d highly suggest for anal sex. Just keep in mind that if you’re going to be using a silicone lube use it only for actual intercourse, not for use with a silicone toy as it might ruin it.
Condoms, I always stress safe sex even with anal play, you may not be able to get pregnant from anal but you can get an STD. Not to mention that if you have your fill (no pun intended) with anal sex and want to go to having vaginal, its’ easier to just take the condom off put on a new one then to have your partner stop, go bathe his penis, put on a condom and start over again.
It’s my goal to make sex a safe, fun and enjoyable experience for everyone. Hopefully this little message has helped in some way to allow you to become more comfortable and knowledgeable in the area of anal sex and some of the things you may encounter as a beginner.
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