The discomfort you may encounter during first time anal sex could be minimum or very intense depending on how relaxed you are. It’s for this reason that I created these anal sex tips, all designed to help make things a bit more comfortable and fun.
Anal Sex Tips For Beginners
Take Your Time & Relax
I personally suggest taking some time to warm up before engaging in full anal penetration; do some relaxing breathing exercises, meditate if need be, and get comfortable with your partner.
Once you’re relaxed and feel ready, get out the lube and apply a large amount to your butt hole. Once lubed up take a finger or a lube shooter and use it to insert some internally. This will allow for easier penetration and once inserted, much less friction. When I say a lot I mean A LOT! Don’t be stingy, unlike the vagina, the anus does not self lubricate, so the more you apply the better.
Remember, the more relaxed you are more relaxed your muscles will be, which will allow for the proper insertion of a toy, finger or penis with less discomfort.
After you’ve added the lube, add a finger and just a finger; the anus has a very tight opening and trying to insert a penis can be a shock to the system. Going too fast too soon can cause you to tense up, leading to a painful experience rather then a enjoyable one. If you’re not careful and don’t listen to your body there can be tearing of the sphincter and/or rectum. By using a finger you prep the body, stretch the muscles, and allow the yourself (or the receiver) to get used to the feeling.
Once the finger is inserted, have your partner leave it there for about a minute or so. Don’t tell them to thrust or move it around… just insert it and leave it. This will allow you and your body to get used to the feeling and relax the muscles.
Go Slow & Start Small
When you feel ready slowly remove the finger and move onto a toy or your partner. I personally suggest using a toy that’s between the size of your finger and your partners penis, this will give you the opportunity to work up to something larger with minimal discomfort.
Any of the Tantus Silk products (small, medium, or large) are amazing options as there’s limited texturing, a round base to keep them from going too far in, and a flexible body to make them totally comfortable.
When it comes to penetration, start thrusting gently, if it makes it easier for you do it doggy style. Have your partner on their knees staying as still as they can. Then take control and back up onto it. This may make it easier for you to take it as you’re the one determining how far it gets inserted and at what speed. The human body is an amazing thing and it’s quite astounding how much it will endure when you put your mind to it.
Finally, be gentle and go slow. I know that we all see the people of porn taking it like champs, but they are trained professionals. It’s what they do for a living and in most cases, have been doing for quite some time. You unfortunately are not a porn star and anyone who believes you can take a pounding the first time is grandly mistaken.
**One more thing, NEVER go from anus to vagina, or anus to mouth, doing this can lead to vaginal infections like bacterial vaginosis, yeast infections, E coli, or intestinal parasites.
Quality silicone toys like the ones Tantus makes are definitely worth the money. They’re phthalate free, latex free, wont absorb any bacteria, can be cleaned in a large number of ways, are hypo allergenic, hygienic, and perfectly safe for anal use. Even better, the flared bases on all Tantus toys make them perfect for anal play.
A very good quality silicone lubricant. Silicone is very slippery, compatible with latex, and requires very little reapplying; something I’d highly suggest for anal sex. Just keep in mind that if you’re going to be using a silicone lube use it only for actual intercourse, not for use with a silicone toy as it might ruin it.
Condoms, I always stress safe sex even with anal play, you may not be able to get pregnant from anal but you can get an STD. Not to mention that if you have your fill (no pun intended) with anal sex and want to have vaginal it’s easier to just take the condom off, put on a new one, and get back to business. Otherwise they’ll have to stop, bathe their penis, put on a condom, and start over again. If you’re wondering about the bathing part, those with a penis can also get urinary tract infections.
It’s my goal to make sex a safe, fun and enjoyable experience for everyone. Hopefully these anal sex tips have allowed you to become more comfortable and knowledgeable, while also easing some of the things you may encounter as a beginner.
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