First Time Sex: Erection Issues

premature-264x300Question :

Hi!

I’ve just recently found your videos and I’m hooked! You’re adorable and so fun to watch. But anyway, I was hoping you could help me out with a problem I’m having.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over 2 months now. And in those two months we’ve done pretty much everything but intercourse. Keep in mind we’re both virgins. Today we both decided to take the next step and have sex. Well that did not work out at all.

Penis erect, condom on, attempt to insert… and fail.
It just would not go in. And then… erection gone.

I knew I’d be tight so we even agreed that he would kind of prep me with one finger… then two.  But even just two fingers is tight. He WAS having a problem keeping it up (not the norm for him) Maybe nerves? So it maybe could have been hard but not hard enough? Could the addition of lube helped at all?

Any advice would be great.

Thanks

Answer:

First of all thanks for watching my vids!!

As for the questions, what you went through is completely normal.  I hear it all the time so dont be too worried.

For your part, the fingering was a very good idea and usually helps. It may have been that you were nervous and tensed up when he went to insert his penis, causing you to “tighten” up. It could also be that you werent “wet” enough for an “easy” insertion. For next time you may want to do what you did previously with the fingering, add some lube and try to relax. Dont let this be something that makes you nervous or scared, instead make it something that is enjoyable and exciting.

As for his part, he was probably very nervous about “failing” you. There seems to be a huge difference when it comes to males and females and sexually pleasing their partners. Women aren’t expected to do very much, or so it seems, however there is a lot of pressure placed on males to “perform” and have their partner orgasm. (By the way, if you don’t have an orgasm during intercourse it’s completely normal, that may just come in time) For him this was/is going to be a defining moment of his “manhood”, and there is a lot to go wrong.

  • He could go soft
  • He could orgasm too soon
  • He could go on for too long
  • He could be too big and it could hurt you
  • He could be too small and not enough to please you
  • He could get it in but then not know what to do with it
  • Not to mention the list of other fears/doubts/anxiety that go through a males head.

When it comes to sex, especially first time sex, there is so much to think about. The best advice I can give is to be supportive and let him know that it’s okay no matter what happens and that when it’s meant to happen it will. Let him know that if he goes soft it’s normal, especially for the first time, and that you don’t judge him for it.

Also in the future, if he does go soft you can always do other things to help him regain his erection like give him oral sex or manual stimulation (hand job). Or if he’s willing to wait it out, you can have him stimulate you until he is ready again.

If you’d like a better understanding of what’s going on, and possibly some products that might be helpful, I suggest giving these articles a read:

 

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