By now I’m sure everyone is rather well versed in my off-putting love of stuffing “weird” things in my vag (a Diving Nun and T-Rex cock being the first to come to mind)… so you can only imagine how quickly my jaw dropped when I came across these Alien Dildos online.
Yes, many of you will cringe at the sight of them, reeling with horror at the mere thought of cramming something this far fetched in your bits, but for me, the word ‘impressed’ doesn’t even begin to cover it.
They’re fun. They’re funky. They’re out of the box, totally bizarre, fabulously ridiculous, and stunning to boot. And with the exception of the dragon cocks made by Bad Dragon, there really isn’t anything like them on the market. At least not in such a large quantity, all from the same manufacturer.
Now considering they’ve been around since 2004, and are something I’d never heard about
until 9 years after the fact, I can’t help but feel my online-sleuthing-skills are lacking. Geez, you’d think I’d been busy reviewing sex toys or something.
From a collection of dildos consisting of Avatars, Aliens, and a terrifying hybrid Predator/Alien thingy, all with intricately designed shafts in a variety of sizes (6.5″ inches being the shortest, 14.6″ inches being the longest), to a creepy Alien Tail butt plug that’s beyond outrageous (because sexy bunny tails are sooo passé), these dildos are the objects hardcore sci-fi’ers and cosplayers have dreamed of for years. Nay! Forever!
Adding to their desirability, each was created to be functionally appealing; crafted from body safe silicone, with the ability to suction to any surface (hands free diddling for the win!), these bad boys come with the option of 21 colors, can potentially be used during strap-on play, and are made by hand in the UK, with some obvious attention paid to detail.
Like I said, they’ll likely be a tad too bizarre for most, but if you’re lusting for something out of this world, you’ve found it.
See what I did there? I win.
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