Review: Flavored Body Paint

Thanks to the folks at Pipedreams I was recently sent a package that included 5 different Body Paints; ,Chocolate Fantasy Finger Paint, Fruity Edible Finger Paints, Glow-In-The-Dark Body Finger Paints and redone versions of the last two.

*For this review I’ll be covering the flavored versions of the paints, with a review of the Glow-In-The-Dark Body Finger Paints to follow shortly after.

While I had low expectations of the products, I can’t help but admit that they did impress me. All of the above glided on rather smoothly, with the texture being more like a whipped paint (that was thick rather then watery), and surprisingly tasted decent- in fact, some of them actually tasted really good!

As for the packaging; it’s fun, colorful, playful and while “adult” in nature (as per the word  “ADULT” written on the front) it’s definitely not embarrassing, highly “offensive” or “unprofessional”.

*For those of you wondering what I mean, they could have very easily plastered the box with naked women or men covered in paint, or some other typically seen image of someone licking paint off an ass cheek, breast or other body part, yet they didn’t. Something I appreciated, especially for those that are easily embarrassed or shy when it comes to “sex” stuff. 😉

Each package I was sent had 4 pots of .5oz paint; enough to play with for two people, but not enough to overdose on (you know, that feeling you get from too much sugar) or get sick from.  The pots were packaged neatly within a cardboard holder to separate them and were all sealed for the consumers safety, and I would assume a longer shelf life.

In regard to the flavors/colors of the (fruity) Body Finger Paints, here’s what I thought;

Cherry – a bright, candy apple red paint that smelled like the tastiest cherry Chapstick I’ve ever dreamed of. While it smelled a tiny bit like paint (they are body paints after all), the taste was very candy like and surprisingly didn’t leave a yucky after taste. As for the actual painting, it went on thin and didn’t offer a lot of coverage – it might have been due to the fact that I kept licking it off before I was finished painting. Grade = A+

Blueberry – a bright blue, almost neon, raspberry/blueberry scented paint. As for the taste, it reminded me of the blueberry snow cones I used to love. Again it had a slight paint smell, but it wasn’t overpowering or awful. As for an after taste, again there wasn’t one. The paint went on thick and offered good coverage of the skin, slightly thinning out if continually rubbed. Grade = B+

Strawberry – a light candy floss pink (very pretty!) that smelled nothing of Strawberries, but instead more like a sweet candy you can’t quite put your finger on. The taste was very good, and quite similar to Bubblicious Strawberry Gum; nothing like paint and no after taste. The coverage was good, but thinned out rather quickly. Grade = B

Apple – a dark emerald green, that unfortunately didn’t smell much like apples.  This was the one that seemed to smell the most like paint, yet surprisingly tasted the best – like the Bazooka Apple bubble gum I used to chew as a kid.  This one also gave the best coverage of skin and didn’t thin out very quickly. Grade = B+

Ingredients: Deionized Water, Glycerine (since it’s not meant to be used as a lubricant this is okay as an ingredient), Sorbitol, Glyceryl Stearate, Stearic Acid, Cetyl Alcohol, Soy Bean Oil, Methylparaben, Triethanlamine, Artificial Flavors, F.D. & C. Yellow #5, F.D. & C. Red #40, F.D. & C. Yellow #6, F.D. & C. #1

As for the Chocolate Fantasy Body Finger Paints, here’s what I thought;

Chocolate Raspberry – a fun, fuchsia colored body paint that smells absolutely divine! The taste isn’t quite what I would imagine (nothing like raspberries, though the scent is) as it tastes more like the jelly you’d find inside a doughnut, than a chocolate raspberry. The color goes on nicely (it’s slightly thick) and manages to last for a while, only disappearing after a bit of rubbing. Again, there’s no horrible after taste though it does leave your skin nicely scented. *If I could, I’d wear it as a lip gloss. Grade = A

Café Mocha – this light brown paint smelled exactly like what I expected; a sweet chocolate that’s thick (like a scent that lingers even after it’s gone) with hints of mocha and slight caramel. The color went on nicely and once again lasted longer then the fruity versions, disappearing only after a bit of rubbing. As for the taste, it was quite yummy, so much so that I debated putting it on some vanilla ice cream (in a late night fit of “I NEED CHOCOLATE!!). Grade = A+

Chocolate Almond – rather then b.s. you and say it was good I’m going to be blatantly honest; at first whiff it smelled good, yet upon a further use the smell became not only nauseatingly sweet and synthetic, but also tasted so bad I had to rinse my mouth out after. I’m not sure what made it so bad, the fake almond flavor? the thickness? heavy after taste or slippery texture on my tongue? either way, I just didn’t like it. As for painting, it went on well, lasted through some rubbing and left a lingering scent that wasn’t as bad as out of the little tub. Grade = D

Chocolate Strawberry – unfortunately mine came with 2 Café Mocha’s, and no Chocolate Strawberry so I can’t review it for you 🙁

Ingredients; Water, Glycerine, Canola Oil, Starch, Flavor, Sorbitan Oleate, Polysorbate 60, Cetcaryl Alcohol, Glyceryl Stearate,CetylAlcohol, PEG – 100 Stearate, Methylparaben, Titanium Dioxide, Sodium Benzoate, Potassium Sorbate, Propylparaben, Citric Acid.

*Pictures of our fun times will be uploaded and linked to shortly!

While they are edible, the paints are meant for EXTERNAL purposes only; basically, don’t use it as a lube as it’s not meant to be one. If you do, you might end up with a yeast infection, other infection (think Bacterial Vaginosis), or an irritation, aside from that I really don’t know if they are latex safe and with ingredients like Soy Bean Oil and Canola Oil, I don’t think they would be.

On that note, I personally don’t know anyone who’s used paints as a lubricant so I can’t tell you the effect they had, only what I would assume would happen based on the ingredients and what I read up on them.

When it comes time for cleaning (if you haven’t licked it off) they easily remove with soap and water or (if you like the scent and didn’t have an allergic reaction) slight rubbing which will make them disappear.

The Bad

If you’re someone who’s into all natural ingredients, doesn’t like the idea of putting something on you (or in you) that’s chemical in nature or are sensitive to certain substances, these might not be the product for you. While they are safe in small doses, I don’t think they are something you’d want to use on a daily basis. With that in mind, products like this are meant for once in a while use to help make things more fun, frisky, playful and kinky.

*If you’d prefer more organic products you can try stuff from around the house like: bakers chocolate (melted down and left to cool), honey, home made whipped cream (not the stuff in a can or tub), homemade jams and jellies. If those ideas don’t work for you, I suggest you check out your local health food or organics store and ask them if they have anything that could be used for safe, edible body painting.

Other then that, the paint can sometimes stain depending on where you put it (not sure why that happens – it stained my back a little, but not my leg or arm) so you might want to be careful of where you put it…i.e. don’t write the word “dick” on your partners forehead unless you want him/her going to work like that the next day. I also found they can be rather messy and depending on your senses, you might not like the smell of them.

Final Verdict

As I said before, I was actually very impressed; all of the Edible Body Paints glided on with ease, tasted good (with the exception of Chocolate Almond) and smelled fantastic! Best of all, at only $8.34 they are very, affordable.

While they aren’t “all natural” and contain some ingredients I find less then desirable, it doesn’t mean they’re something I’d skip on, especially if adding some playful, kinky and colorful fun is the intended outcome of the night…or day, or morning 😉

If you’d like to try them for yourself, or any of the Pipedreams edible products, feel free to check out my online sexual wellness store where shopping for vibrators, fun and fantastic smelling lotions, flavored lubes or any other eco-friendly sex toys is safe, discreet and very affordable.

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