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Sex Ed 102 Beginners Guide: Strap-On's & Harnesses
Exploring strap-ons and harnesses can be a rewarding journey into new sexual experiences, whether for fun, pleasure, or intimacy with a partner. For beginners, strap-ons and harnesses may seem a bit intimidating at first, but with the right guidance and tips, they can open doors to exciting forms of connection and sensation. This guide will cover what strap-ons and harnesses are, how they work, the different options available, and tips for making the experience enjoyable and fulfilling.
What Are Strap-Ons & Harnesses?
A strap-on is a sex toy usually involving a dildo attached to a harness. The harness is worn around the waist or hips, allowing the user to control the movement of the dildo with their body. This setup enables penetration, allowing couples to experiment with different positions, explore gender play, and switch up traditional roles if desired. For people of all gender identities, strap-ons offer versatility and creativity in the bedroom, as well as an opportunity to experience something new.
How Do Strap-Ons & Harnesses Work?
Strap-ons generally consist of two parts: the harness and the dildo. The harness is what secures the dildo to the body, and the dildo is the part that provides penetration. Many harnesses have an adjustable waistband and leg straps to ensure a snug, comfortable fit. The dildo is often attached to the harness using an O-ring - a flexible ring that holds the dildo securely in place - or a proprietary attachment system. Different harnesses accommodate different types of dildos, so it’s important to check for compatibility if you’re choosing parts separately.
To use a strap-on, the person wearing the harness simply puts it on and adjusts it until it feels secure. Then, with some lube and a bit of practice, they’re ready to explore with their partner. Communication, patience, and an open attitude make the process more comfortable and fun for both parties.
Different Types of Harnesses
When exploring with strap-ons, it’s helpful to know that harnesses come in various designs to fit different preferences, activities, and comfort levels. Each type of harness offers unique benefits, whether you’re looking for something secure, adjustable, or more intimate. From traditional belt or jock-style harnesses, which provide stability and versatility, to strapless strap-ons that eliminate the need for a harness entirely, each style caters to different kinds of experiences. Understanding the options available can help you find a harness that fits comfortably and enhances connection, making the journey smoother and more enjoyable.
Belt or Jock-Style Harness
The belt or jock-style harness, like the Strap U Double Take Vibrating Dildo & Harness (pictured left), is a classic and widely preferred type of harness, making it a popular choice for beginners and experienced users alike. Resembling a pair of underwear, this harness has two leg loops and a waistband that goes around the hips, holding the dildo securely in place. This design is known for being user-friendly, as it’s easy to put on, offers good stability, and allows for adjustments in fit and comfort. These harnesses are usually compatible with O-ring dildos, which means they can accommodate various shapes and sizes.
Pros of belt or jock-style harnesses include its stability, making it suitable for different types of movement and positions, as well as its wide compatibility with most dildos. However, the bulkier design can feel a bit cumbersome if worn for long periods or if you’re looking for a lightweight option. Some find the thickness of the straps less ideal for a more discreet or minimalist experience, but for reliable performance, this harness style is hard to beat.
Underwear-Style Harness
Underwear-style harnesses offer an alternative for those who prefer a softer, more discreet experience. These harnesses look and feel like regular underwear, with fabric that fits snugly and comfortably against the body. Often, panty and brief style harnesses include a built-in pouch or O-ring for holding dildos in place. The softness and natural fit of these harnesses make them a great option for beginners, as they’re often the least intimidating and easiest to wear out of all types.
Harnesses like the Active Harness Wear - Fit Strap-On Harness Brief By Sportsheets (pictured right) offer ease and comfort, ideal for gentle, low-maintenance experiences. However, they may not provide as much stability as other types, especially if you’re using a heavier dildo or engaging in vigorous activity.
Additionally, they tend to have limited compatibility with certain dildo sizes, particularly larger models, and may lack the adjustable features that are found in other harness types. Despite these limitations, the underwear-style harness is a fantastic option for those looking for comfort, simplicity, and subtlety.
Double-Strap Harness
Double-strap harnesses, like the Vibrating Black Corsette Strap-On Harness by Sportsheets (pictured left), take the traditional harness a step further by adding extra flexibility and freedom. With two straps going around each thigh and connecting to a waistband, this design leaves the area between the legs open, which can enhance sensation for the wearer and allow for dual stimulation. This open design is ideal for those who enjoy a bit more direct contact and sensitivity, as well as added versatility.
The double-strap harness is highly adjustable, providing a more customized fit, which makes it suitable for a range of activities and movements. However, it may take a bit longer to put on and adjust compared to single-strap designs, and it might feel a bit more complex for beginners who are still familiarizing themselves with harnesses. Once adjusted, though, it offers secure, stable support and allows for creativity.
Strapless Strap-Ons
Strapless strap-ons, are a unique and innovative option that doesn’t require any harness at all. Instead, they are designed with a bulb on one end, which is held internally by the wearer, leaving the external part free for penetration. This allows for an intimate, skin-on-skin experience without the need for straps or additional adjustments. The result is a more natural feeling, often preferred by those looking for a close, hands-free experience with their partner.
While the absence of straps provides a more seamless and intimate connection, strapless strap-ons, like the BodyWand ID Access Strapless Strap-On (pictured right), require some pelvic muscle strength to hold in place, which can be challenging for some users, particularly beginners.
Practicing solo with these toys can help build confidence and control. Additionally, they may not provide the same level of stability as traditional harnesses, so patience and experimentation with different angles and positions can make the experience more enjoyable and comfortable for both partners.
Thigh Strap-Ons and Alternative Harness Styles
For those interested in mixing things up, thigh strap-ons and harnesses designed for different parts of the body offer exciting and versatile options. Thigh strap-ons are typically secured around the upper leg, allowing the wearer’s thigh to be used as the point of penetration. This can open up a range of positions and angles that aren’t as easily accessible with a traditional waist-mounted harness. Thigh strap-ons, like the Ultra Thigh Strap On (pictured left) are especially popular for hands-free play, allowing both partners to experiment with varied rhythms, sensations, and levels of control.
In addition to thigh-mounted harnesses, other strap-ons can be worn on different parts of the body, such as the hand, chin, or lower leg. These designs offer unique ways to enjoy penetrative play that can align with different levels of accessibility, creativity, and intimacy.
Although these styles may require a bit more experimentation to find positions that work best, they’re ideal for those looking to try new sensations and movements with their partner.
Double Penetration Strap-Ons and Harnesses
Double penetration strap-ons and harnesses are designed to provide simultaneous internal stimulation for the wearer or their partner, creating a fuller and more intense experience. These strap-ons typically feature two dildos: one for vaginal and one for anal penetration, or one for both the wearer and the receiver. Double penetration harnesses, like the Dual Desires Strap-On (pictured right), can be worn around the waist with dual attachments, or they may include an internal component that allows the wearer to enjoy internal stimulation as well.
These strap-ons are versatile and can cater to a variety of preferences and body types, allowing couples to experiment with new sensations and explore different levels of intimacy. Many double-penetration harnesses are adjustable for comfort and stability, though they may feel more complex than single attachment harnesses and can take some trial and error to get the fit just right. For those interested in adding extra layers to their experience, these offer a chance to deepen connection and variety.
Dillio Body Dock System of Strap-On
The Dillio Body Dock is a unique strap-on system that offers an alternative to traditional harnesses by simplifying attachment and use. Instead of using O-rings or buckles, the Body Dock (pictured left), relies on a strong, suction-based docking system. This feature allows users to quickly and securely attach any dildo with a suction cup base to the docking pad, making setup easy and efficient. The harness itself is typically worn around the waist with adjustable straps, ensuring a secure fit.
This system is particularly popular for those who want the flexibility of swapping out different dildos without fussing with various attachments. This design also allows for a wider range of dildo shapes and sizes, giving users more freedom to personalize their experience.
While it’s beginner-friendly and ideal for quick changes, the suction design may not offer as much stability as more traditional O-ring harnesses during vigorous use. However, for anyone looking for a convenient, versatile, and customizable strap-on system, the Dillio Body Dock is an innovative choice.
Vac-U-Lock Strap-On System
The Vac-U-Lock system (pictured right), is a popular and versatile strap-on design known for its unique plug-and-lock mechanism. Instead of relying on traditional O-rings or suction cups, Vac-U-Lock harnesses feature a secure plug that “locks” compatible dildos into place, providing a stable and reliable attachment. This innovative system allows users to switch out dildos effortlessly, and the Vac-U-Lock collection offers a broad range of attachments in various shapes, sizes, and textures, all designed to fit securely.
These harnesses are typically made from durable materials and are often fully adjustable, ensuring comfort and security during use. This system is ideal for anyone who wants a consistent fit and firm control, even during more vigorous activity.
Even though the setup may feel slightly different at first, many users find the stability and selection of compatible toys to be major advantages. For those seeking a customizable and dependable strap-on system that accommodates a range of preferences, the Vac-U-Lock is an excellent choice.
Popular Strap-On & Harness Options
Choosing Safe, Non-Toxic Materials
When selecting a strap-on compatible dildo, it's essential to choose products made from body-safe, non-toxic materials. Some toys, especially cheaper options like jelly dildos, may be made from materials that contain potentially harmful chemicals, such as phthalates. These chemicals can cause irritation, allergic reactions, and, with long-term exposure, even pose health risks. Jelly toys, in particular, are often porous, which means they can trap bacteria, bodily fluids, and lube, and are harder to keep clean, increasing the risk of infections.
Safe options for strap-on attachments, like the Tantus Curve (pictured left), are non-porous, easy to sanitize, and free from harmful chemicals, making them a healthier choice for your body. Silicone dildos, in particular, are soft, durable, and highly recommended due to their flexibility and compatibility with a wide variety of harnesses.
Choosing the Right Dildo
When selecting a dildo to pair with your harness, it’s important to consider both compatibility and safety. The best dildos for harness play will have a flared or suction cup base, which keeps the toy securely in place during use and prevents any risk of slipping through the harness or becoming unsafe for internal use.
Whether you’re drawn to a realistic style, a curved design for targeted stimulation, or a textured option for extra sensation, there are many body-safe options to explore. Finding the right dildo can make all the difference in creating a comfortable, enjoyable experience for both partners.
Here’s a quick rundown of different types to consider:
- Basic Dildos: These are non-realistic dildos that often come in a range of colors, sizes, and shapes. They’re simple, easy to clean, and versatile.
- Realistic Dildos: Realistic dildos are designed to resemble human anatomy and may have veins, texture, and other details that add realism to the experience. These are popular for those who want a lifelike experience.
- Vibrating Dildos: Some dildos come with a vibrating feature, which can add extra stimulation for both the wearer and the partner. The vibration intensity is adjustable in most models, making it an exciting option for those looking to enhance sensation.
Regardless of what you choose look for reputable brands that use 100% body-safe materials, and check labels or product descriptions carefully. Prioritizing safety will ensure that you have a comfortable, worry-free experience and can focus entirely on the pleasure and connection that strap-on play offers.
Tips & Suggestions for Getting Started
Starting out with strap-ons and harnesses can be both exciting and a little nerve-wracking, so here are some tips to make things go smoothly:
- Start with Communication: Communication is the key to a satisfying experience. Talk openly with your partner about boundaries, desires, and any potential worries. Take turns adjusting the harness or practicing with it to make sure you’re both comfortable with how it feels and moves.
- Practice Solo First: If you’re wearing the harness, try practicing alone first to get a feel for how it moves with your body. This practice can help build confidence and give you a sense of control before you’re using it with a partner.
- Use Lube Generously: Lube is a must for comfort with strap-ons. Apply a good quality, water-based lubricant on the dildo and, if applicable, on any sensitive areas for smoothness and ease. This can reduce friction, enhance pleasure, and make the experience more enjoyable.
- Go Slow and Experiment with Positions: Finding the right position is important for comfort and satisfaction. Many beginners start with positions like missionary or doggy style, which offer support and are easy to control. Experiment, move slowly, and adjust as needed.
- Consider Adjustable or Beginner-Friendly Harnesses: Some harnesses are specifically designed for beginners, with added padding and support. Starting with a comfortable, easily adjustable harness can make your first experience more enjoyable and less intimidating.
Final Thoughts
Exploring strap-ons and harnesses can be a truly empowering and satisfying experience, allowing couples to share pleasure and connection in new and fulfilling ways. Remember, there’s no “right” way to approach using strap-ons - each person and each couple will find what works best for them through open communication and experimentation. As with any new experience, go slowly, communicate openly, and, most of all, have fun with the process. Whether it’s an occasional thing or something you want to incorporate more regularly, using a strap-on can be a unique way to deepen trust, playfulness, and intimacy in your relationship.If you'd like to get your hands on a strap-on or harness of your own, be sure to check out my favourite online sex toy stores be it Pinkcherry, SheVibe, Babeland, or my online sex toy store, ShopSexEd102.com. Don't forget to shop around to make sure you're getting the best prices available.
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