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Sex Ed 102 Beginners Guide: Strap-On’s & Harnesses

Couples Toys & Games, For The Beginner, Kink/Fetish, Sex Ed 102

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Sex Ed 102 Beginners Guide: Strap-On's & Harnesses

Exploring strap-ons and harnesses can be a rewarding journey into new sexual experiences, whether for fun, pleasure, or intimacy with a partner. For beginners, strap-ons and harnesses may seem a bit intimidating at first, but with the right guidance and tips, they can open doors to exciting forms of connection and sensation. This guide will cover what strap-ons and harnesses are, how they work, the different options available, and tips for making the experience enjoyable and fulfilling.

What Are Strap-Ons & Harnesses?

A strap-on is a sex toy usually involving a dildo attached to a harness. The harness is worn around the waist or hips, allowing the user to control the movement of the dildo with their body. This setup enables penetration, allowing couples to experiment with different positions, explore gender play, and switch up traditional roles if desired. For people of all gender identities, strap-ons offer versatility and creativity in the bedroom, as well as an opportunity to experience something new.

How Do Strap-Ons & Harnesses Work?

Strap-ons generally consist of two parts: the harness and the dildo. The harness is what secures the dildo to the body, and the dildo is the part that provides penetration. Many harnesses have an adjustable waistband and leg straps to ensure a snug, comfortable fit. The dildo is often attached to the harness using an O-ring - a flexible ring that holds the dildo securely in place - or a proprietary attachment system. Different harnesses accommodate different types of dildos, so it’s important to check for compatibility if you’re choosing parts separately.

To use a strap-on, the person wearing the harness simply puts it on and adjusts it until it feels secure. Then, with some lube and a bit of practice, they’re ready to explore with their partner. Communication, patience, and an open attitude make the process more comfortable and fun for both parties.

Different Types of Harnesses

When exploring with strap-ons, it’s helpful to know that harnesses come in various designs to fit different preferences, activities, and comfort levels. Each type of harness offers unique benefits, whether you’re looking for something secure, adjustable, or more intimate. From traditional belt or jock-style harnesses, which provide stability and versatility, to strapless strap-ons that eliminate the need for a harness entirely, each style caters to different kinds of experiences. Understanding the options available can help you find a harness that fits comfortably and enhances connection, making the journey smoother and more enjoyable.

Belt or Jock-Style Harness

The belt or jock-style harness, like the Strap U Double Take Vibrating Dildo & Harness (pictured left), is a classic and widely preferred type of harness, making it a popular choice for beginners and experienced users alike. Resembling a pair of underwear, this harness has two leg loops and a waistband that goes around the hips, holding the dildo securely in place. This design is known for being user-friendly, as it’s easy to put on, offers good stability, and allows for adjustments in fit and comfort. These harnesses are usually compatible with O-ring dildos, which means they can accommodate various shapes and sizes.

Pros of belt or jock-style harnesses include its stability, making it suitable for different types of movement and positions, as well as its wide compatibility with most dildos. However, the bulkier design can feel a bit cumbersome if worn for long periods or if you’re looking for a lightweight option. Some find the thickness of the straps less ideal for a more discreet or minimalist experience, but for reliable performance, this harness style is hard to beat.

Underwear-Style Harness

Underwear-style harnesses offer an alternative for those who prefer a softer, more discreet experience. These harnesses look and feel like regular underwear, with fabric that fits snugly and comfortably against the body. Often, panty and brief style harnesses include a built-in pouch or O-ring for holding dildos in place. The softness and natural fit of these harnesses make them a great option for beginners, as they’re often the least intimidating and easiest to wear out of all types.

Harnesses like the Active Harness Wear - Fit Strap-On Harness Brief By Sportsheets (pictured right) offer ease and comfort, ideal for gentle, low-maintenance experiences. However, they may not provide as much stability as other types, especially if you’re using a heavier dildo or engaging in vigorous activity.

Additionally, they tend to have limited compatibility with certain dildo sizes, particularly larger models, and may lack the adjustable features that are found in other harness types. Despite these limitations, the underwear-style harness is a fantastic option for those looking for comfort, simplicity, and subtlety.

Double-Strap Harness

Double-strap harnesses, like the Vibrating Black Corsette Strap-On Harness by Sportsheets (pictured left), take the traditional harness a step further by adding extra flexibility and freedom. With two straps going around each thigh and connecting to a waistband, this design leaves the area between the legs open, which can enhance sensation for the wearer and allow for dual stimulation. This open design is ideal for those who enjoy a bit more direct contact and sensitivity, as well as added versatility.

The double-strap harness is highly adjustable, providing a more customized fit, which makes it suitable for a range of activities and movements. However, it may take a bit longer to put on and adjust compared to single-strap designs, and it might feel a bit more complex for beginners who are still familiarizing themselves with harnesses. Once adjusted, though, it offers secure, stable support and allows for creativity.

Strapless Strap-Ons

Strapless strap-ons, are a unique and innovative option that doesn’t require any harness at all. Instead, they are designed with a bulb on one end, which is held internally by the wearer, leaving the external part free for penetration. This allows for an intimate, skin-on-skin experience without the need for straps or additional adjustments. The result is a more natural feeling, often preferred by those looking for a close, hands-free experience with their partner.

While the absence of straps provides a more seamless and intimate connection, strapless strap-ons, like the BodyWand ID Access Strapless Strap-On (pictured right), require some pelvic muscle strength to hold in place, which can be challenging for some users, particularly beginners.

Practicing solo with these toys can help build confidence and control. Additionally, they may not provide the same level of stability as traditional harnesses, so patience and experimentation with different angles and positions can make the experience more enjoyable and comfortable for both partners.

Thigh Strap-Ons and Alternative Harness Styles

For those interested in mixing things up, thigh strap-ons and harnesses designed for different parts of the body offer exciting and versatile options. Thigh strap-ons are typically secured around the upper leg, allowing the wearer’s thigh to be used as the point of penetration. This can open up a range of positions and angles that aren’t as easily accessible with a traditional waist-mounted harness. Thigh strap-ons, like the Ultra Thigh Strap On (pictured left) are especially popular for hands-free play, allowing both partners to experiment with varied rhythms, sensations, and levels of control.

In addition to thigh-mounted harnesses, other strap-ons can be worn on different parts of the body, such as the hand, chin, or lower leg. These designs offer unique ways to enjoy penetrative play that can align with different levels of accessibility, creativity, and intimacy.

Although these styles may require a bit more experimentation to find positions that work best, they’re ideal for those looking to try new sensations and movements with their partner.

Double Penetration Strap-Ons and Harnesses

Double penetration strap-ons and harnesses are designed to provide simultaneous internal stimulation for the wearer or their partner, creating a fuller and more intense experience. These strap-ons typically feature two dildos: one for vaginal and one for anal penetration, or one for both the wearer and the receiver. Double penetration harnesses, like the Dual Desires Strap-On (pictured right), can be worn around the waist with dual attachments, or they may include an internal component that allows the wearer to enjoy internal stimulation as well.

These strap-ons are versatile and can cater to a variety of preferences and body types, allowing couples to experiment with new sensations and explore different levels of intimacy. Many double-penetration harnesses are adjustable for comfort and stability, though they may feel more complex than single attachment harnesses and can take some trial and error to get the fit just right. For those interested in adding extra layers to their experience, these offer a chance to deepen connection and variety.

Dillio Body Dock System of Strap-On

The Dillio Body Dock is a unique strap-on system that offers an alternative to traditional harnesses by simplifying attachment and use. Instead of using O-rings or buckles, the Body Dock (pictured left), relies on a strong, suction-based docking system. This feature allows users to quickly and securely attach any dildo with a suction cup base to the docking pad, making setup easy and efficient. The harness itself is typically worn around the waist with adjustable straps, ensuring a secure fit.

This system is particularly popular for those who want the flexibility of swapping out different dildos without fussing with various attachments. This design also allows for a wider range of dildo shapes and sizes, giving users more freedom to personalize their experience.

While it’s beginner-friendly and ideal for quick changes, the suction design may not offer as much stability as more traditional O-ring harnesses during vigorous use. However, for anyone looking for a convenient, versatile, and customizable strap-on system, the Dillio Body Dock is an innovative choice.

Vac-U-Lock Strap-On System

The Vac-U-Lock system (pictured right), is a popular and versatile strap-on design known for its unique plug-and-lock mechanism. Instead of relying on traditional O-rings or suction cups, Vac-U-Lock harnesses feature a secure plug that “locks” compatible dildos into place, providing a stable and reliable attachment. This innovative system allows users to switch out dildos effortlessly, and the Vac-U-Lock collection offers a broad range of attachments in various shapes, sizes, and textures, all designed to fit securely.

These harnesses are typically made from durable materials and are often fully adjustable, ensuring comfort and security during use. This system is ideal for anyone who wants a consistent fit and firm control, even during more vigorous activity.

Even though the setup may feel slightly different at first, many users find the stability and selection of compatible toys to be major advantages. For those seeking a customizable and dependable strap-on system that accommodates a range of preferences, the Vac-U-Lock is an excellent choice.

Popular Strap-On & Harness Options

The Royal Queen in Pewter

Strap On Me Lingerie Unique Strap-On Harness

Strap On Me Diva Lingerie Lace Harness

Pivot Flex Foot Strap-On

Temptasia Estella Vibrating Strapless Dildo

Rouge Leather Dildo Harness

Choosing Safe, Non-Toxic Materials

When selecting a strap-on compatible dildo, it's essential to choose products made from body-safe, non-toxic materials. Some toys, especially cheaper options like jelly dildos, may be made from materials that contain potentially harmful chemicals, such as phthalates. These chemicals can cause irritation, allergic reactions, and, with long-term exposure, even pose health risks. Jelly toys, in particular, are often porous, which means they can trap bacteria, bodily fluids, and lube, and are harder to keep clean, increasing the risk of infections.

Safe options for strap-on attachments, like the Tantus Curve (pictured left), are non-porous, easy to sanitize, and free from harmful chemicals, making them a healthier choice for your body. Silicone dildos, in particular, are soft, durable, and highly recommended due to their flexibility and compatibility with a wide variety of harnesses.

Choosing the Right Dildo

When selecting a dildo to pair with your harness, it’s important to consider both compatibility and safety. The best dildos for harness play will have a flared or suction cup base, which keeps the toy securely in place during use and prevents any risk of slipping through the harness or becoming unsafe for internal use.

Whether you’re drawn to a realistic style, a curved design for targeted stimulation, or a textured option for extra sensation, there are many body-safe options to explore. Finding the right dildo can make all the difference in creating a comfortable, enjoyable experience for both partners.

Here’s a quick rundown of different types to consider:

Basic Dildos: These are non-realistic dildos that often come in a range of colors, sizes, and shapes. They’re simple, easy to clean, and versatile.
Realistic Dildos: Realistic dildos are designed to resemble human anatomy and may have veins, texture, and other details that add realism to the experience. These are popular for those who want a lifelike experience.
Vibrating Dildos: Some dildos come with a vibrating feature, which can add extra stimulation for both the wearer and the partner. The vibration intensity is adjustable in most models, making it an exciting option for those looking to enhance sensation.

Regardless of what you choose look for reputable brands that use 100% body-safe materials, and check labels or product descriptions carefully. Prioritizing safety will ensure that you have a comfortable, worry-free experience and can focus entirely on the pleasure and connection that strap-on play offers.

Tips & Suggestions for Getting Started

Starting out with strap-ons and harnesses can be both exciting and a little nerve-wracking, so here are some tips to make things go smoothly:

Start with Communication: Communication is the key to a satisfying experience. Talk openly with your partner about boundaries, desires, and any potential worries. Take turns adjusting the harness or practicing with it to make sure you’re both comfortable with how it feels and moves.
Practice Solo First: If you’re wearing the harness, try practicing alone first to get a feel for how it moves with your body. This practice can help build confidence and give you a sense of control before you’re using it with a partner.
Use Lube Generously: Lube is a must for comfort with strap-ons. Apply a good quality, water-based lubricant on the dildo and, if applicable, on any sensitive areas for smoothness and ease. This can reduce friction, enhance pleasure, and make the experience more enjoyable.
Go Slow and Experiment with Positions: Finding the right position is important for comfort and satisfaction. Many beginners start with positions like missionary or doggy style, which offer support and are easy to control. Experiment, move slowly, and adjust as needed.
Consider Adjustable or Beginner-Friendly Harnesses: Some harnesses are specifically designed for beginners, with added padding and support. Starting with a comfortable, easily adjustable harness can make your first experience more enjoyable and less intimidating.

Final Thoughts

Exploring strap-ons and harnesses can be a truly empowering and satisfying experience, allowing couples to share pleasure and connection in new and fulfilling ways. Remember, there’s no “right” way to approach using strap-ons - each person and each couple will find what works best for them through open communication and experimentation. As with any new experience, go slowly, communicate openly, and, most of all, have fun with the process. Whether it’s an occasional thing or something you want to incorporate more regularly, using a strap-on can be a unique way to deepen trust, playfulness, and intimacy in your relationship.

If you'd like to get your hands on a strap-on or harness of your own, be sure to check out my favourite online sex toy stores be it Pinkcherry, SheVibe, Babeland, or my online sex toy store, ShopSexEd102.com. Don't forget to shop around to make sure you're getting the best prices available.

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Review: Rainbow Pumped Suction Cup Dildo

Dildos/Dongs, Product Reviews, Rainbow

Rainbow Dildo Review: Kara Sutra Reviews

If you follow any of my social media you'll likely know by now how strong my love of rainbow sex toys is. Sadly, my collection isn't quite as large as I'd like it to be. As such, I decided I needed some new additions. When the folks behind HotCherry asked if I'd like to review something for them, I jumped at the chance to get my hands on the Rainbow Pumped Silicone Dildo. Before I get into the review it's worth mentioning that I am not a “size queen". Really big dicks just don't do it for me. Never have. With that in mind, my experiences with this rainbow dildo were hit and miss. That isn't to say that it's not a fantastic addition, just that due to its size, it was a tad too much for me. Those that like things on the thicker side will undoubtedly love this rainbow dildo. Me on the other hand, I'm still debating.

The Good

First things first, aesthetically the Rainbow Pumped Silicone Dildo is stunning. The edges are clean cut, with precise definition, offering no bleeding from one shade to the next. Each equally distributed layer is a perfect bright and bold hue, with no deviations from a traditional rainbow. Rather than having horizontal lines like most rainbow toys, the lines are diagonal, creating a lovely lengthening effect. All in all, it makes the perfectionist in me ridiculously happy. As for the silicone, it's matte and velvety to the touch, supple, with a bit of give. While there is some flexibility, it's firm enough that it doesn't bend, making insertion while mounting doable. Having said that, because it's a matte silicone it will require lube, and lots of it. Otherwise you can expect some uncomfortable dragging on the skin hindering insertion. Trust me on this. The head of the shaft has a pronounced ridge for those that like g-spot stimulation. The slight veining on the thick shaft offers some enjoyable sensations internally. And the firm but squishy balls let you gauge how far it’s inserted while also providing decent cushioning while thrusting. If you like to have a bit more control, flip it around and use them as a handle. For those that prefer hands free action, the flared base acts as a really good suction cup. I suggest wetting the bottom then pressing down hard on the area you want it to stick to. For the most part it's not going to move on flat surfaces, but because of the weight, it won't do well against shower tiles. We'll get to that later. Also on the note of the flared base, it’s compatible with strap-ons for pegging play. Getting it into the harness ring may require a bit of effort due to the length, but it should insert without too much trouble. Just know in advance that it’s heavy, very heavy, and will droop when worn.

Experience

From the moment I saw it in the package I knew I was in over my head. My own fault really; unless it looks like big online (and this didn't), I rarely, if ever, check size stats before requesting a product. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now... nope. With regard to stats, the dildo is 9.75 inches in total length, with 7 inches being fully insertable. At it's thickest the girth measures 6.75 inches, while the shaft generally measures 5.5 inches. All in all it's a big dildo. As someone who likes to test a product as many times as possible before deciding if they like it, I won't lie, the struggle was real. That said, this isn't my first time at the rodeo. I tried another big dildo a few years ago, granted the rainbow dildo is by no means similar in girth. But still. While the 7 inch length is perfect for me, the 6.25 inch girth (at its largest point), is much, much, bigger than I'm used to.

Patience Is A Virtue

Knowing this was a dildo I wouldn't be able to instantly handle, I took my time. After 10 minutes with the Original Magic Wand and a smaller dildo to get things going, I slapped it onto a flat surface and mounted it. Nope. Not happening. Even with all the self pleasuring my body just wasn't ready. Never one to back away from a challenge, I spent another 10 minutes trying to find a position or angle that would allow me to take it. Eventually my body gave way, and with a slight 'pop', it slid into place with little resistance. Once inserted the thick shaft was fulfilling while the length was highly satisfying. Thrusting was kept to a minimum as the weight of the dildo made it difficult to manage. For the most part the struggle was worth it. Having said that, I don't know that it's a dildo I'd go back to with any frequency. I had hoped that after my initial experience each new attempt would be easier. Sadly, wasn't the case. Every time I tried my body tensed in anticipation of the pronounced ridge. I'm sure with continued use I'll eventually get past that, but I fear the effort it'll take getting there will be a bit much. So many toys, so little time. Everything considered, I have a couple suggestions to make it enjoyable; use lots of lube and I do mean lots. Don’t go straight for it. Instead, work your way up by using a partner or other products before hand (the vaginal canal will expand and lengthen when aroused, take advantage of that). Finally, don’t be afraid to use something on your clitoris if you need to; it’ll help with arousal and self lubrication.

The Bad

I get it, most dildos replicate the appearance of a penis; as in, there's a pronounced ridge below the head on the shaft. Yes, aesthetically it might be pleasing. But it also makes insertion extra difficult for those not used to something this big. Removal even more so. My second attempt was slightly painful as I tensed in anticipation of the ‘pop’ I felt the first time around. Not fun. Although it did suction nicely to flat surfaces, it didn't do so well on the bathroom tiles. It’s got quite a bit of weight to it so it’s not going to instantly affix itself easily. It’s also not going to stick to walls, the weight will eventually bring it down. Finally, it collects a lot of lint. Not a big deal, but it annoys me.

Care & Cleaning

Remember, anything that's quality silicone won't absorb bodily fluids, lube, or bacteria. Simply wash this silicone dildo with soap and water, boil it, bleach it with a 10% bleach solution, or put it in the top rack of your dishwasher. As with all silicone toys you’ll want to use water based lubricants. You could opt for a silicone lube once you've done a patch test and are sure it's okay to use (just rub some silicone lube on the base of the toy, if there's a reaction it's not compatible). Otherwise a silicone lube will likely ruin it with time.

Final Verdict

I’m admittedly a little torn on this one… On the one hand I can see how those that like something a little bigger would love this dildo. The girth is fulfilling once inserted, while the length is perfect for those that like it deep. More than that, it’s quality made, virtually non-porous, easy to care for and clean, can be used with a harness, suctions to most surfaces, and doesn’t leach harmful chemicals into your body. And let's not forget how aesthetically stunning this rainbow dildo is. I love the look of it. It's absolutely perfect. On the other hand, and this is just based on personal experience, I struggled. A lot. Each and every time. Had the ridge below the head not been there, I think I would have really enjoyed it, probably even come to love it. But for the most part it was an overwhelming experience that left me disappointed in myself. Maybe with time and practice I'll get to a point where I can take it effortlessly. For now however, I'll be opting a smaller dildo that isn't quite as pretty. If you want to support me and what I do please support my sponsors. Without them I wouldn't be able to create fun reviews like this one for all of you. That in mind, if you're looking for quality sex toys at affordable prices be sure to hit up HotCherry, they've got great customer service, fast shipping, and carry most of the brands I've come to love. Don't forget, if you use the links in this review I'll make a small commission from the sales. It doesn't make it more expensive for you, but it does allow me to keep doing something I love while letting sponsors know there is value in what I provide. Want to stay up to date with the new reviews? Just sign up for an email update through the form below! [mc4wp_form id="10371"]

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Sex Ed 102: The Best Condoms And Lube For Anal Sex

Condoms & Safer Sex Products, For The Beginner, Lubes, Q & A

The Best Condoms And Lube For Anal Sex Header

Question

I recently got into a new relationship and we're planning on having sex soon (I'm a gay male by the way). The problem is that I'm not that experienced, both with partners and toys (and condoms for that matter). I'd like some help where lube and condoms are concerned. Do you have any lubes that you'd personally recommend, preferably silicone for anal play? Also, would you have any flavored lubes that you'd recommend? We've tried a bunch of cheap samples we bought at a local novelty store and they were all pretty gross. Most of them were really thick, sickly sweet, and kinda burned our mouths. We obviously don't need them to have a good time, but sometimes it's fun to try new things. Any suggestions would be great. Finally, I'm not that sexually experienced and quite nervous. Do you have any tips for a first timer?

Answer

Whether it's anal, vaginal, or otherwise, first times can be overwhelming and scary. Trust me I know, I've been there. At some point we all have. With that in mind, the discomfort you may encounter during first time anal sex could be minimum or very intense depending on how relaxed you are. It's for this reason that I created a post on anal sex tips for beginners, all designed to help make things a bit more comfortable and fun. I suggest reading the full post just so you're not missing anything. In the meantime, I've copied the most valuable info below.

Sh*t Happens... Sometimes.

Before I get into the how-to's of comfortable butt play, I think it's worth mentioning the one thing most people are afraid of... having their partner remove whatever they've inserted and it being covered in shit. Yes, I really did write that and I really am going there. The truth of the matter is sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't. It can be as little as a tiny speck or a lot (though that's usually not the case), sometimes there's nothing at all. Diet can have an affect, as can how recently your last bowel movement was. If it's something you're really worried about make sure to go beforehand, don't eat foods that you know make you feel gassy or have to go (avoid fatty, fried, and spicy food as well as caffeine), and try using a quality douche to clean yourself out. At the end of the day any time you engage in butt play there's a chance shit will happen. It's normal, natural, and should be expected. Sure, it can be embarrassing but if you're having sex with a great lover that's mature, understanding, and informed, it doesn't have to be. Now that that's said and done let's get on to questions at hand...

First Time Anal Sex Tips

Before engaging in full anal penetration it's a good idea to take some time to warm up; relaxing breathing exercises, meditating, and getting comfortable with your partner will prove helpful in the long run. Remember, the more relaxed you are the more relaxed your muscles will be. This will go a long way when it comes to inserting a toy, finger, or penis comfortably. After you’ve added some lube, add a finger and just a finger; trying to insert a penis right off the bat can be a shock to the system. Likewise, going too fast too soon can cause you to tense up, leading to a painful experience rather then a enjoyable one. By using a finger you prep the body, stretch the muscles, and allow yourself time to get used to the feeling. Once the finger is inserted, have your partner leave it there until you're totally comfortable and relaxed. Tell them not to thrust or move it around… just insert it and leave it.

When you're ready have them slowly remove the finger. Doing it quickly can cause you to tense up, so make sure to go slow. From there I suggest adding more lube and a toy. You'll want one that's on the smaller side, flexible, made of 100% silicone, and has a flared base like the Small Tantus Silk (pictured right). This will give you the opportunity to work up to something larger with minimal discomfort. Whether you decide to continue with a finger, toy, or penis, have them thrust gently in the beginning. Take your time, relax into it, and try to enjoy the moment. I know we see the people of porn taking it like champs, but they're trained professionals. It's what they do for a living. You're not expected to take a pounding the first time around. It'll likely take a few tries, or maybe you won't ever feel comfortable doing that. Either way, it's totally okay and normal. If you're partner is having a hard time inserting, try doing it doggy style. This may make it easier as you're the one determining how far it gets inserted and at what speed. Simply have your partner on their knees staying as still as they can. Then slowly back up onto it. Once they're inside you can find a pace and depth that's comfortable for you. Finally, be gentle with yourself and know that if at any time you want to stop there's nothing wrong with that. It's your body, you get to call the shots.

The Best Condoms And Lube For Anal Sex

Silicone Lube Options

Since the anus doesn't self lubricate you're definitely going to want to invest in some good quality lube. Most silicone lubes are very similar; they're condom compatible, will maintain a slippery consistency and wont dry out like water based lubes, are tasteless and odourless, are glycerin/paraben free, and are great for use in the shower. Personally I use Sliquid Silver, Premium System Jo, Sliquid Silk, or Pjur. They're all affordable, quality lubes, made by companies I trust. If you're wary of pain and want something that will relax your butt without numbing the area (which can be dangerous since you're unable to feel tearing), I highly suggest Analyse Me Spray by Pjur. I've also heard really great things about Intimate Earth Ease Lube (pictured left). Rather than using benzocaine or lidocain (numbing agents), Intimate Earth uses Bisabolol (a component of chamomile essential oil) which will relax the area while also potentially providing anti-irritant, anti-inflammatory, and anti-microbial benefits. Of course there are some drawbacks to using silicone lubes; they have the potential to stain fabrics, you'll need soap and water to fully remove them, and they can break down silicone toys. If you're nervous about ruining a toy just do a patch test on the bottom of it to see if it'll be an issue.

Water Based Lube Options

I know you specifically asked for silicone lubes, but I figure it's always good to have options. For water based I tend to go with Sliquid H20 because it doesn't have the shitty chemicals most others do (the people behind the company focus on body safe ingredients so that helps). It also doesn't get sticky or tacky quickly. It still will a bit, all water based lubes do, but it's not as bad. If it starts to dry you can easily use spit or water to get it slippery again. When I'm out of Sliquid I use Pjur Med Natural Glide Water Based Lube (pictured right) or Slippery Stuff it's more of a gel consistency but melts quickly with body heat.

Flavored Lube Options

As for flavored lubes System Jo and Sliquid Swirl are great if you like fruitier flavors. If you'd prefer something that tastes like dessert Wet Warming Desserts and Wicked Sensual Care have the biggest varieties. Cherry Vanilla Sliquid (pictured left) is my favourite (check my Cherry Vanilla Sliquid Review here). It's light and fruity with a hint of vanilla. Not at all thick or gross, and didn't leave a bad after taste. More than that it didn't burn my throat or tongue. If you want to sample them before investing in a larger size, the Lip Lickers Cube from Sliquid has 4 different flavours you can try. I can't recommend Sliquid enough! Wicked Sensual Care has 10 different dessert flavored lubes with most of them being what you'd typically expect. From Salted Caramel to Vanilla Bean, Cinnamon Bun to Candy Apple, they've got all the bases covered. With regard to price points, they come in two different sizes so you don't have to break the bank if you're not sure about a flavor. I find they're a bit sweeter, not too syrupy (considering the flavors), have a nice consistency (not sticky or tacky), and a little goes a really long way. Going back to 2010, System Jo made the first flavored lubes I really liked. The flavors are light, the lube isn't too thick or goopey, and the feeling is more like a slippery silicone lube than water based. My faves are Chocolate Delight (my review), and Banana Lick. They also just came out with a 'Candy Shop' line, I'm excited to try the Cotton Candy and Butterscotch flavors. There's a whole bunch more on the System JO website. If you want a bit more info here's my review of System Jo fruit flavors.

Condoms I'd Recommend

Condom wise, you'll likely want one that's barely there. If neither of you have a latex allergy you should enjoy One Vanish, Skyn, Kimono Micro Thin, and Trojan Bareskin. I've tried them all and think they're some of the best around. You can usually find good deals on the Undercover Condoms website in their 'bulk' section. Even though you'll be using lube you'll benefit from lubricated condoms as they'll reduce any chance of friction. Just make sure not to use one that has Nonoxynol-9 as it can actually increase your chances of contracting an STD/STI. Also, don't go for Magnums unless you absolutely need the larger size. An improper fit can slip off during intercourse, which defeats the purpose of wearing it in the first place. If you're not sure what size will work best for your needs, this condom sizing guide should help. There's also my succinct beginners condom guide.

Hopefully this post helped you to not only find a lube and condoms that works for your needs, but also gave you some valuable information on how to make your first time an enjoyable one. I linked you to the places I shop online, support and trust. If you'd prefer to shop somewhere for reasons of discretion I've also linked to Amazon. If you find any of the products I've mentioned cheaper elsewhere please let me know so I can pass on the savings other readers. Sit back, relax, let me come to you. Sign up through the form below and have my posts sent straight to your inbox. Don't worry, I promise not to spam you! [mc4wp_form]

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#FunFindFriday: The Dragon by Traz

#FunFindFriday, Male Enhancement, Rhino by Traz

When I entered the sex toy industry 10+ years ago there wasn't a lot available in the realm of penis oriented masturbation products. Sure, there were more than a handful of decent options, but for the most part the products being made weren't body safe, looked cheap, tacky, or hideous, and didn't make much of an effort to be original, let alone inspired. Thankfully things have progressed and a variety of devices have made their way to market offering new and innovative ways to get off... enter The Dragon by Traz! Needing to know more about the colorful and intriguing design, I went right to the source, asking the Marketing Chief at Traz if he'd be willing answer a bunch of questions about The Dragon. Thankfully he very graciously obliged. Big thanks to Craig for taking time out of his busy schedule, I totally appreciate it.

The Swinger by Traz

1. What motivated you to create 'The Dragon'?

While there are plenty of masturbation devices to choose from, it’s just one sensation. Meaning whatever the design and texture of the canal, that’s what you feel … over and over and over. We’re all about our customers and and it just seems unfair that in order get more than one sensation, you need to buy more than one device or multiple sleeves for the same device. And that can get expensive in a hurry. So we developed The Dragon to give users the choice of pretty much unlimited sensations … or as we refer to them, hundreds to thousands of fantasies all in one masturbation device. Just like you like to change it up with your partner … why shouldn’t you be able to do that when masturbating? We did some basic calculations based on our most popular Dragon model, The Swinger – it provides 385 different experiences. Someone would have to spend over $26,000 dollars to get that many different masturbation devices. We’re not even sure if there are 385 different such devices available. So, it’s about putting freedom in the hands of our customers when it comes to how they want to orgasm.

2. How is The Dragon by Traz different from other products on the market?

Two big differences make The Dragon by Traz the most advanced masturbation device … ever. First, you can enter from either end. The Dragon by Traz accommodates a different orifice at each end … it’s dual entry. Secondly, five distinct, interchangeable pleasure rings are housed in The Dragon’s “Fantasy Silo.” Let’s start with the benefit of “dual entry”. Imagine you’re rocking along and you’ve penetrated through the vagina orifice, but you want to switch it up mid-stream … you simply flip over The Dragon by Traz and and slide in through the butt or mouth orifice. It’s just that easy. But, that’s just the start. I mentioned the five distinct pleasure rings. Each ring has a different diameter opening as well as a distinct textured canal creating a different sensation. For example, take the “Give and Go” ring. You’ll swear there are four free floating fingers twisting and wrapping around your shaft as you move in and out. And here’s how users can have many, many different fantasies. Simply change the order the rings in the “Fantasy Silo.” It clicks open and you can rearrange them in any order. Remember – each ring is unique – different size opening and different textured canal. This means different sensations as you move back and forth through each one. It’s really mind blowing. And get this, users can choose two different style opening diameters, depending on their preference – there’s “just right” and “super tight.” Customers can specify their choice when ordering. Also, we know people like it different ways, so we designed three offices for The Dragon – Vagina, Mouth and Butt. That also leads to the every increasing number of fantasies available for everyone that wants to “ride the Dragon.” Also, customers will have no problem distinguishing one pleasure ring from another with just a glance. Each are a different color.

The Dragon by Traz pleasure rings and orifices

Dragon Pleasure Rings & Orifices

3. Speaking about the pleasure rings, each of them look amazingly detailed, what was the process/how long did they take to craft, and how did you choose each design?

First we polled users to get a sense of what sensations they found most pleasurable, most exiting and stimulating. As you can imagine we heard a lot of varying answers, descriptions and desires. We also asked them to describe the sensations of three different types of penetration; vaginal, oral and anal. We used those answers to help influence our designs. Take for example the description I used earlier for the “Give and Go” pleasure ring. Many we asked described that slight twisting action partners will use when giving them a hand job and also during oral sex. We took that data and then set out to design an inner set of textures to try and duplicate that sensation. It took us about 14 months of literally about 150 different prototype molds to come up with our first set of 15 rings. As part of this initial launch we’ve introduced the first set of five. As mentioned previously we created two versions of those first five - “just right” and “super tight.” We’ll release the next set of five sometime in late Spring and the third set at the beginning of Fall. For those interested in each of the The Dragons pleasure rings sensations, here’s what they feel like (*color coded to match the rings):

Pleasure N’ Pleasure – That real vagina sensation comes from 8 mini rings within the ring – four tight and four a little looser.
Ten and One – It’s like being licked as you move into a tighter center. The dual ribs on both side of the narrowing shaft really do a number.
Full Throttle – You get that gentle grip and drag sensation found only in a real partner.
Stacked Desire – A little pull and tug action from three softly ribbed openings.
Give and Go – It’s like the best hand job you ever had … you know that twisting action that really heightens how it feels.

The Dragon by Traz - Pleasure 'N Pleasure

4. Why did you choose silicone material over other available options?

When we founded the company, we purposely decided to make the highest quality adult toys possible. And today, the absolute best material is medical grade silicone. First and foremost it is body-safe. Also, it’s durable requiring no special powders, creams, etc. to keep it in pristine condition. Clean-up is snap - simply use soap and water.

5. What can we look forward to in the future from Traz?

We’re developing a new version of our Rhino Penis Extension. Customers have asked if we could create an extension that worked as well as the original Rhino, but looked more like a real penis. It was important to first determine if our patented “no slip grip” design would perform as it does with the original Rhino’s more cylindrical shape. I’m happy to report we have a working prototype that we will put into production in late March. If your readers have suggestions for what they think would be a good name, we’d love to hear them! Wanna be the first to know when new products come out? Of course you do! Make sure to follow Traz on Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube.

Sit back, relax, let me come to you. Sign up through the form below and have my posts sent straight to your inbox. Don't worry, I promise not to spam you!

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Save 40% On Tantus Sex Toys: Valentines Weekend Sale

Deals, Tantus Inc

As I'm sure the majority of companies have made you painfully aware, Valentines Day is right around the corner. Unfortunately it's become a holiday filled with bullshit beliefs that if you're not part of a couple, you just don't deserve to enjoy the day. In my opinion, whether you're splurging on a 2lb box of chocolate, indulging in a luxurious soak, curling up with a good book, heading out for a night on the town, or just chillin in your onsie while streaming your fave tv shows, this holiday is a perfect excuse to treat yo' self to anything and everything your little heart desires... especially if that means buying some sex toys to enjoy anytime you want. Thankfully I'm not the only one that thinks this way - in an attempt to help you have an amazing weekend filled with self pleasuring and love, no matter your relationship status, Tantus is having a flash sale where you can take a whopping 40% off everything they carry! Yes, you read that right - 40% off EVERYTHING!

Vibrators Are On Sale Too!

Save On Sex Toys For Valentines Day - Magic Wand Original

Original Magic Wand

I love the bullet compatible vibes Tantus makes, but I'd be lost without my Original Magic Wand (was $60, now $36). Those rumbly deep vibrations, the ergonomic design, simple two power settings, cushioned head, and ease of use, are things my body lusts after. In all honestly, there hasn't been a time it's failed to make me orgasm, and for that I'm forever thankful. There's also the rechargeable Magic Wand up for grabs (was $125, now $75), as well as the new Doxy Massager (was $130, now $78). I haven't tried either of them yet, but I've heard from friends that they are both on par - if not better than the Original Magic Wand.

Tantus Haul Video Featuring My Favorite Tantus Toys!

*jump to 3:23 in the video to skip all my blabbing If you're not sure what to grab, I made a Tantus Haul video showcasing some of my fave products (above). It should give you a pretty good idea of the product sizes, colors, what they're good for, and/or why I love them. As for why you need some Tantus in your life: everything is crafted from body safe material (no worries about toxic chemicals), they don't absorb bodily fluids, lube, or bacteria (unlike jelly, tpr, or tpe sex toys - which can never be fully sterilized), they'll last a lifetime with a minimal amount of care (this is HUGE money saver in the long run!), most are harness compatible or safe for stuffing in yer butt, and most importantly, Tantus has some of the best customer service around!

For Those On A Tight Budget

If you want to save EVEN MORE, this sale lets you take another 40% off already reduced Tantus grab bags... with the discount nothing is over $23! They're the same great products crafted from the same premium grade silicone, just mixed into a variety of shades Tantus usually doesn't carry… I’ve managed to get some absolutely stunning color mixes this way (one is blackish purple, with a midnight purple glittery sheen). Trust me, this is a fantastic way of snagging some quality sex toys at amazing prices. Just head over to the grab bags page, pick the toys you want, enter code “LOVEYA” during check out, and BOOM! You just got some of the very best silicone sex toys at prices that are almost unheard of. p.s. Last time Tantus did a grab bag sale they sold out. I highly suggest you get your orders in sooner than later, this isn't something you want to miss out on!

Need Some Help Choosing Grab Bag Items?

Save On Sex Toys For Valentines Day - Tantus Echo

Echo Grab Bag

Dildos

When it comes to g-spot stimulation I love the Tantus Echo (reg. $40, now $24). The ripples along the shaft provide an amazing sensation during thrusting and the silicone is firm, while still retaining some flexibility, squish and give, making it comfortable but highly effective. If you like textures, g-spot stimulation, or something a little different I'd highly suggest an Echo.

Vamp

My second favorite is the Vamp (reg. $29, now $17.40). It doesn't offer as much g-spot stimulation as the Echo, but there is a ridge where the head meets the shaft that feels glorious during use. Also, the length and girth are perfect for those times I want something slightly larger without being overwhelmed by size. As for the silicone, it's a bit more rigid than the Echo, but still supple and retains some squish and give. If you want a dildo that has subtle nuances rather than heavy texturing, but still manages to offer g-spot stimulation, I'd go for a Vamp.

large silk

Then there's the Large Silk (reg. $33, now $19.80) which I covered in the Tantus Haul video above. Personally, I think the smooth seamless shaft makes this dildo perfect for deep and heavy thrusting. And although there isn't much by way of sensation play, it glides effortlessly with a small amount of lube. It's similar in size to the vamp, but way more flexible and not quite as heavy. If you don't like g-spot stimulation and aren't big on textures, but want a dildo that is fulfilling, you'll definitely like the Large Silk.

Little Flirt

Butt Play

When it comes to non-intimidating butt toys the little flirt (reg. $21, now $12.60 - pictured left), or small ripple (reg. $22, now $13), will do you just fine. Both are easy to insert and remove, have some flexibility making them very comfortable during use, the bases are flared so you don't have to worry about them getting lost, and they really aren't intimidating at all. When I first was introduced to butt play they were my go to. I'd highly suggest them to anyone getting started.

Ryder

If you're already well versed with putting things in yer butt and would prefer something a little larger, you're going to want to grab a Ryder (reg $23, now $14.40, pictured right). It's substantially less flexible than the lil flirt, but still has quite a bit of squish and give making it comfortable to insert, use, and remove. I don't often venture away from my Ripple or Flirt, but when I do I opt for the Ryder (or Perfect Plug/Juice). Regardless of what you choose I can promise each of the products listed above are amazing, I know because I own all of them. So what are you waiting for! Head over to Tantus, find some toys you love, type in code "LOVEYA" at checkout, and snag some amazing for yourself... not just for Valentines Day, but any damn time you want! You're worth it. Sit back, relax, let me come to you. Sign up through the form below and have my posts sent straight to your inbox. Don't worry, I promise not to spam you! [mc4wp_form]