I’ve been watching your videos for a while now and would like some help with a problem I’m having with my girlfriend, frankly: her vagina smells. I bought her douche kits, have made her take a bath before sex, even suggested she try using deodorants “down there”. She doesn’t like it either, but she doesn’t seem to do much to fix it. I will be honest, our sex life has even started to suffer since I don’t like the way she smells. I don’t want to make her douche every time we have sex… but I don’t know what else to do. We have been together for quite a few years now and it just seems to keep getting worse. Is there anything I can do?
Answer: Vaginal Odor, Douching, & Feminine Hygiene
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Before I get started please understand every woman has her own body chemistry and hormones that contribute to the way she smells and tastes. Regardless of how healthy she eats, how much time she spends scrubbing her genitals, or the choices she makes both in and out of the bedroom, she is going to have her own unique scent. That’s just how it goes.
As for my suggestions, first and foremost: stop making her douche! The vagina is not meant to be flushed with harsh chemicals or detergents. That’s probably the WORST thing you could suggest she do.
I’m pretty sure this is probably the first time you’ve heard that, so let me explain how things work…
The vagina has a naturally acidic pH level (healthy vaginal pH sits around 3.8 to 4.5 out of 14) that takes care of all the bad bacteria via discharge – fluid from glands inside the vagina and cervix – which carries away dead cells and bacteria, keeping the vagina clean and helping to prevent infection. When a person douches they wash away both the good and bad bacteria. Now with the good bacteria removed, the vagina is a perfect environment for the bad bacteria that enters to take over and run rampant.
With that in mind, she doesn’t need to use heavy soaps, detergents, creams, cloths, or sprays. Mild soap and water will suffice for external cleaning of the vulva.
My second suggestion is to bring up the option of 100% cotton underwear as it will allow her body to breathe and reduce the amount of sweat present, which will also hopefully result in less of a vaginal odor. Aside from that, it would be a good idea to limit the amount of tight synthetic material, thongs, and g-strings she wears as they trap bacteria and can bring on the potential for infection.
If she uses deodorant on her vagina I suggest she stop. That, like douching, can equal a recipe for disaster; the body sweats for a reason. By applying deodorant to her vulva/vagina she can not only increase the chance of infection, but also confuse her body and force it to overcompensate in other ways.
I’d also suggest talking to her about seeing a doctor as the cause of the smell might be due to an infection like bacterial vaginosis (caused by an imbalance of naturally occurring bacterial flora).
Some common causes of Bacterial Vaginosis
- Douching – using water or a medicated solution to clean the vagina
- Having a bath with antiseptic liquids
- Having a new sex partner
- Having multiple sex partners
- Perfumed bubble baths and some scented soaps
- Using an IUD (intrauterine device), such as a contraceptive device made from plastic and copper that fits inside the uterus
- Using vaginal deodorants
- Washing underwear with strong detergents or change of laundry detergent
Among other natural causes, Bacterial Vaginosis may occur from semen entering the vagina and throwing off the natural pH balance. That said, if you’ve been having unprotected sex, stop. After she has seen a doctor and knows that she’s free and clear of an infection, or has been successfully treated for one, go back to using condoms to limit the semen that comes into contact with her vagina (unless your trying to conceive of course).
The last thing I want to bring up on this topic is that the way that you choose to discuss it with her and the words you choose to use will have a direct impact on her as a person and a lover;
If you go to her in a loving way, with kind words, the offer to help and be willing to learn all that you can (even possibly help pay for medication or cotton undies) she will be more willing to oblige and attempt to “fix the problem”.
If you go at her in an angry, disgusted, frustrated, turned off, embarrassed or rude manner, I can pretty much guarantee that you will not only offend and hurt her, but also create a situation where she feels embarrassed and ashamed of her vagina and in turn her sexuality. She will think of her vagina as “dirty”, “gross”, or “shameful”, and likely not want to put out… and when she does, she will be less than enthusiastic and probably wont enjoy it very much. Trust me, I hear it all the time.
On that note, please also try to understand that for most women their vulva/vagina is a very touchy subject. Most are raised in a society that teaches us to believe that our sexuality, body parts, and sex itself, are things we shouldn’t speak about and should hide away from others;
- we are taught to use words like “private parts” in reference to our genitals, a seemingly innocent choice of wording that only further instills this belief.
- depending on the culture a female has been raised, she could be taught to think that her vagina is “foul”, “disgusting”, “gross”, “dirty”, “nasty”, and all those other words associated with the things we shouldn’t want to touch or talk about.
- daily we are bombarded by mainstream media promoting products that “help” women to feel “fresh”, “clean”, and smell like “flowers” or “summer rain”. These companies do nothing more then make millions by continually misleading the mass viewing public and cause unknowing females to believe that their vaginas are not self cleaning and instead shouldn’t smell the way they do.
Basically, the vulva/vagina is something that not very many women are comfortable talking about… let alone their own genitals.
Be conscious and conscientious with your choice in wording and how to choose to deal with the situation, and understand that by bringing it up you could be hitting a really vulnerable issue for her.
If your relationship is important to you, I suggest that you take the time necessary to understand the way the female body works and learn as much as you can. Unfortunately, due to the corporations that solely exist to make society think vaginas are “dirty”, we are taught to think that there is really only one option, when instead, there are many.
I hope that this helps you understand that there is nothing wrong with her or the way she smells and provided you with options to think about.
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