Archive | August, 2010

Blooper Reel #2

For those of you that kept asking me to make another video that has all the moments that didn’t make it to air, this goes out to you! 🙂  Enjoy!!

(here’s the link for Blooper Reel #1)

Official Toy Blog

Official Toy Store

Official Website

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Review: The Stamina Training Unit ( STU) by Fleshlight

If you read my blog, watch my product reviews, or follow me on Facebook / Twitter, you’re probably quite familiar with my love of the Fleshlight.  For those of you that don’t know about my lust, well, all I can say is it may just be the one and only product that gives me #penisenvy on a regular basis. I’d almost say daily.

Not only is the product well made, easy to use, soft, supple, discreet and realistic looking, it’s also probably the closest you’re going to get to the ‘real thing’ when it comes to fake vagina’s. Seriously! It’s amazing!

As for this review, I’m going to be covering the Stamina Training Unit, a product created by Fleshlight that’s designed to help you learn to last longer in bed, and more then that; help you become a better lover. Judging by my ‘testers’ experiences, it really will help.

How It Works

When I first saw the STU I thought it was a joke, I mean, how could a product help you to learn to last longer? It just sounded so absurd. However, after receiving and reading the manual the product came with, I totally got it…

Hidden within the 10 pages of the STU Manual (FREE with a purchase of the STU) are tiny gems of wisdom that most people should know, regardless of gender. From methods of stimulating the clitoris, performing oral sex on a vag, finding the g-spot (I’ll admit, the part about the g-spot is kinda cheesy with its pirate references), learning how to get to the brink of orgasm and back again, all without actually orgasming, this manual is definitely the selling point of this “unit”.

On that note, I’m sure most of you are hoping that I’m going to give out the hints and tips suggested within the manual, unfortunately I’m not allowed, or I probably would. That said, what I can offer (that’s throughout the manual) is something that should be common sense when it comes to being good at any sexual technique – practice makes perfect!

To help you practice the manual has a few key things to offer;

stuf“Mastering the art of ‘Brinkmanship'”: (as explained above) – 4 methods with steps to follow.

“Short Circuits”: the ultimate emergency safeguards against any ejaculation before you’re ready. (We tried it, it worked…very interesting!)

“Routines”: 3 different stroke patterns to help you learn to last longer. (My partner and I tested them and yes, they do work)

“Goals”: benchmarks to set for yourself while using the STU as a way of measuring how you’re progressing – 4 in total. (I think they may get rather tedious and possibly boring, but if you’re learning to last longer they’re worth a go and will definitely help)

“Five Essentials”: 5 essentials to remember when performing under pressure. (Rather simple common sense stuff, but helpful none the less – especially for those of you that are still learning)

Sure the Fleshlight itself is a badass find, but it comes down to following the guidelines set out in the manual that will help you to last longer, not the actual product.

The Good

The sleeve (the part you have sex with) is crafted from the same patented Real Feel Super Skin® as all the others within the Fleshlight collection. However, what sets it apart is the specifically designed “inner canal” texture; rows of small bumps that are soft, supple, comfortable and very accommodating. It also comes with a metallic gold case rather than the typically found black ones. I’m guessing it was supposed to be a clever reference to “going for the gold”? )

For those of you that aren’t familiar with the Fleshlight line of products, I previously did a review that outlined all of the necessary care, cleaning, uses and suggestions for ways the product could be used. If you’d like to view it this link should take you there. Otherwise, here’s the basics

  • the product measures 10 inches in length and is 4 inches around at its largest, so it should be a comfortable size for most
  • if you’d like to alter the sensation, the Fleshlight can be placed in warm water until it reaches the desired temperature (DO NOT boil or microwave it!)
  • to further adjust the sensation, you can unscrew the bottom cap until the desired level of suction is reached
  • finally, while there is no need to use a condom with the Fleshlight (as long as you do NOT share your Fleshlight!), doing so will not harm the product or yourself.

Care & Cleaning

When it comes to lubes I would only suggest a good water based one as a silicone or oil based product will ruin it. Trust me on this!

To clean it simply remove the insert from the case and rinse it very well with lukewarm water; the product is porous so you will want to make sure there is no “residue” left behind. Once it’s clean either let it air dry or pat it with a lint free cloth (NEVER rub it or you will ruin the texture and appearance). Once it’s dry shake some corn starch or Renew powder and pat it gently; this will help to keep it soft and supple, rather then allow it to get sticky or tacky with use.

*If you do notice that it’s gotten gummy, sticky or tacky don’t worry, it’s not defective. The material the product is made of tends to do that over time (as do most other UR3, Cyberskin and similar materials). If you want to keep it soft and supple just use the corn starch or Renew powder.

stuThe Bad

In regard to the actual Fleshlight, I love it and have nothing bad to say about it!

As for the manual…

While it is for the most part relevant, honest, interesting, resourceful and straight forward, there are parts of the manual that are cheesy, slightly unnecessary (like the statement “No not the vehicle, that’s what you use to get her in bed”) and just didn’t hit the “funny” level they were hoping for, instead coming across as insincere.

I get where they were coming from and what they were trying to achieve, however, as an educator and someone who takes sex (and sex toys) seriously, I just would have liked to have seen a little bit more of a healthy respect for sex and sexuality.

*Had they removed the vehicle comment, and taken finding the g-spot a bit more seriously, rather then using a pirate who uses words like “Ahoy matey“, “Shiver Me Timbers“, “find her love cave” and “Scallywag” (really?, really?? ) to describe the experience, I would have been much more impressed with no complaints.

Final Verdict

Like all of the other products that Fleshlight makes I actually do love the STU!

Sure the manual has a few sections (really only 2 – “G Marks the Spot” and “The Hummer”) I wasn’t that fond of but to be honest, the rest was more then I expected. That in mind, if you’re someone who doesn’t last very long in bed, would like to practice with something that’s as close to the ‘real thing’ as you’re going to get, while also having a few pointers, suggestions, goals or tips to help guide you, the Stamina Training Unit by Fleshlight is pretty much the whole package.

For a limited time the Stamina Training Unit is on sale for $17.50 off!! They’re also doing a 25% off SITEWIDE SALE, plus free shipping with orders over $100! Sweet deal bro!

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Q & A ~ First Times

Since some of the more commonly asked questions I get have always been from those that are new to sexuality, sex and exploring their sexual selves, I figured it was time I answered in video format. For those of you looking for more detailed information I’ve also created a 3 part series based around “First Time Tips” that you can find in through the following links: Part 1 (general info), Part 2 (tips for guys), Part 3 (tips for girls). If you’re interested in other issues regarding ‘virginity’ I suggest you check this link.

I truly hope that between this video and all the other ‘beginner’ posts I’ve created you’ll be better equipped to deal with anything that comes your way.

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Review: TitanMen Tool Box

Thanks to the wonderful folks at I was sent one of the better, more affordable, and definitely interesting male masturbation products on the market, the TitanMen Tool Box.


With the exception of the words “UR3 Masturbator” written on the front  and “It’s the perfect size for working your cock” written on the side, the packaging is rather simple and respectful; a plain blue box with white writing and an image of the product on the cover (which resembles something you’d use for plumbing more then you would sex). There is no nudity, swearing or any of those other things that are typically found on less discreetly packaged items.

Not sure what I’m talking about? Here’s a few good examples. *Caution Not safe for work!

The Good

In regard to the actual product it’s extremely discreet, resembling a squishy tube more then a vagina, anus or mouth. A definite bonus when it comes to the fears of what might happen should someone find it.

Because it’s made of  Doc Johnsons realistic feeling UR3 material it’s extremely soft, supple, slightly stretchy and rather squishy. The coloring is a matte opaque white (almost transparent) with 3 ridges on the outside for better gripping. Internally, there are ridges as well but they are less pronounced, allowing you to feel them, but not too much.

On the note of the UR3 material, DocJohnson has created their own “Silagel” formula that makes the Tool Box hypo allergenic, anti-bacterial, non-toxic, latex free, cadmium free and phthalate free, basically, it’s totally body safe.

The Tool Box measures 4″ in total length and 7″ around; while it is rather short compared to other masturbators like the Fleshlight, it’s still long enough to insert yourself and use it where it feels most pleasurable, whether it be the head of the penis, middle of the shaft or base of the shaft. With this product it really is about whatever you prefer.

Now I’m sure a lot of you are asking how it is that I could know what it feels like or if it’s good, especially considering I don’t have a penis of my own… well, that doesn’t mean I don’t have someone (actually a few someones)  I trust to test toys for me and give me their honest feedback. In regard to the Tool Box, this is what I was given as insight to the toy;

What does it feel like?

Tester: “It very soft and squishy, almost like having sex with a marshmellow. But not in that weird “I’m f*cking a marshmellow” way. Yes I know how stupid that sounds, but that’s what it feels like. ”

Does it feel good?

Tester: “Yeah, actually really good. It’s a little foreign but it’s still good. I was actually very surprised”

Does it feel real?

Tester: “No, not at all, well maybe a little, but that doesn’t really matter since it feels good.”

Did it hurt?

Tester: “Nope, I actually thought it would but it didn’t. I’ll be honest, sometimes you give me products and their cheap, and you can tell their cheap, so I don’t want to use them or even try them. This one I was a little nervous about ’cause I thought it might hurt, but it didn’t. I was totally surprised”

Would you use it on your own, like regularly?

Tester: “I’d rather have sex with a real woman then have sex with a toy all the time, but yeah, when it called for it I’d use it. It sure beats the old fist bang”

Was it comfortable and was the size enough?

Tester: “It was very comfortable, how could sex with a marshmellow not be comfortable? As for the size, sure it could have been a bit longer, but it was fine”

Would you recommend this to others?

Tester: “Oh hell yeah! It’s affordable, easy to use, it feels good and doesn’t look like a vag. Sure I’ve tried better things like the Fleshlight, but this is really good for what it is”

Is there anything you would change about it?

Tester: “Nope, it’s everything a product like this should be, but without all the bells and whistles. Sure you can get stuff with beads or bumps or ridges or whatever else they make, but really, that’s all just an added bonus, you don’t really need it”.

Anything else you want to say about it?

Tester: “Well, I think a lot of people forget what these are meant to be used for and put way too much pressure or expectations on toys. The way I see it, they’re just meant to add to your experience, and maybe enhance it, not be the end all and be all of sex machines. Would I suggest it to others? yes. Would I say buy this and your sex life is complete? no, of course not but it sure does feel good!”

Like I said, I may not have a penis, but I do have those that are willing to relay their experiences for me, which I can then relay to you.

As for ways it can be used, it’s rather simple; lube the product (and yourself) up, insert and stroke away! On that note, for those of you that are uncircumcised I suggest you stretch the product a bit (almost like your folding it up) then insert yourself and allow the product to surround your shaft. I suggest this because if you just try to insert yourself without giving yourself some “wiggle room”, you may actually pull back the foreskin too far and end up hurting yourself as the entrance is rather small at only 1 1/2 inches.

Care & Cleaning

In regard to lubricant I would only suggest a good water based lube as silicone or petroleum based products will damage this material. On that note, while it says that it’s anti-bacterial, I’m not too sure how porous it is so I’d also recommend using a condom with it, as it might easily absorb germs and bacteria.

When it comes to cleaning I would suggest using warm water and soap, rinsing it well and letting it air dry or patting it down with a lint free cloth.  I say lint free cloth because I found the material had a tendency to collect lint, hair or other tiny bits of fluff, it’s not a big deal, but it’ll just keep your product in better condition and looking like new. If you have an anti bacterial toy cleaner you can use that as well. Whether you use a toy cleaner or soap and water I highly suggest that once the product is dry you sprinkle it with a “renewing” powder (it’s really cheap, but definitely worth it) or cornstarch.

*Never use talcum powder or baby powder as these can cause irritation to both the product and your skin.

The Bad

As for things I didn’t like about the product, there were none. As for things my tester didn’t like about the product, again, there were none.

*I gotta admit how much I love products that are affordable and do exactly what they say they do. It sure makes my job easy.

Final Verdict

I’ll admit, when it comes to toys for boys I get jealous rather easily, finding all too quickly that the evil penis envy monster raises it’s head and mumbles in despair…and annoyance that I don’t have a dick to do fun things with too.  (yeah, that’s right, I said it!)

That said, if you’re looking for a really affordable (it’s only $11.84), easy to use, discreet, well made, body safe, comfortable and easy to care for male masturbator, the TitanMen Tool Box may just be the one! I know if I had a dick I’d sure as hell be trying it!

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Fear Is A Wonderful Thing…

I recently sat down for dinner with a a few friends who are going through (*or are about to go through) some major transitions…where life is concerned…where love is concerned.

And who have expressed that they are terrified!

Fear is a funny thing; it strikes at the heart of you, sometimes when your not expecting it, other times when you are in full awareness of its presence…feeling it in the pit of your stomach, deep, churning, numbing and so uneasy.(*very close to the butterflies you first feel when struck with love and it all seems so out of your control.  Interesting isn’t it, how fear and love feel relatively the same on some basic physical level?)

Life is scary. Period.

Love is scary. Period.

But that is life and that is love. More importantly, that is where it is our responsibility to choose…to actively choose, what we want to experience and how we want to grow as individuals, as humans, as beings.

The whole of our existence is based on choices.

The whole of our existence is based on free will; free will over our thoughts, and words, as well as our actions.

On that note, our greatest choice is to choose between love and fear, as one cannot exist in the presence of the other. While we may believe they can co-exist, we cannot choose both…it’s an either/or situation…there is no inbetween.

It is like light and darkness; if light is present, darkness disappears…if the light is absent, darkness appears…thus, the choice between love and fear is the most basic, and the most important, choice we have.

I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere in this mess of time people forgot one key thing; that they have control, that they are the ones who are making the choices, they are the ones who are in each and every moment actively deciding their destiny…in which way they wish to grow…and which path they are choosing to experience.

That is whats it’s all about anyways…the growing; placing yourself in situations that force you to break old habits, detach from old ways, heal hurts and learn from new experiences what and who you are…or have been…and are going to be.

But that in and of it self is a choice…one must choose to grow.

One must be willing to fully embrace the chance that they may “fail”…

scary thought, huh?

That’s part of the challenge…in order to grow, one must be willing to fully let go…to relinquish control…to surrender to the unknown…and trust…that whatever is meant to happen…will…that what ever the outcome…it was for their own highest good…their own personal good…that it was a lesson set out specifically for them, that they choose to learn from…that they choose to experience…that they choose.

Even if it isn’t what they wanted…or thought they wanted…in that moment of deciding.

This is where I find it gets tricky…we all have the active choice to choose…to decide for ourselves which path we are going to walk down…which emotions we are going to experience…which fears we are going to overcome…and which higher good we are going to learn from…however, in that we must be willing to let go of the outcome…of the decided plan for things…of the expectation.

That’s where I think it gets scary…where the fear comes from…where the lessons to be learned live.

Expectation…a big word…with an even bigger height to fall from.

It is those expectations that don’t allow for the room to grow… instead starting a ball rolling out of control…placing bars around us that suffocate and confine our souls.

They cause us to be blinded…to become confused…to see things not as they actually are…or could be…instead seeing them for what we would have them be…because its what we want.

Then, when we don’t get them, or they don’t turn out the way we expected…we end up disappointed; in the situation, in life, and in ourselves…creating a vicious circle of finding another source of expectation, another way that things could/would/should/be…another set of hopes or pre-programmed roads that we think things will go down…even when our own better judgment tells us not to.

Even when we know better.


it’s easier then letting go of the control we want to have over life…

it’s easier then chancing heartache and sadness…

it’s easier to hope for the best…and as such…expect it…

…simply…without all of the pretty grammarical big words…

it’s just that…easier.

Easier to shy away, hide, deny, separate, run, cling…to stop ourselves from falling…to back away from what scares and/or challenges us…to be afraid of the one thing we all desire and yearn for…

to love…and be loved in return.

Therein lies the most important questions of all; how do we let go of expectations?…how do we not hope for an outcome that we so desire?…how do we place our trust in the universe? (wholly and completely)…and how do we allow ourselves to have faith that it will all work out in the end…when all we are feeling is the fear?

I guess it all comes down to choice…


Which will you choose?…now…in five minutes…in 2 hours…tomorrow…

It is an ongoing decision…to choose…to live…to love…and don’t worry when you “slip and fall”, it’s simply a reminder that you do indeed have a choice.

So which will you choose, this time? And next? And next? And next? …

If you ask me, we might as well choose Love and be Love, since that’s who we really are…at our core…and all we’re searching to find anyways.

As for the fall, don’t worry too much about it, there is always someone there to catch you <3

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