Archive | August, 2011

Beginners Guide To Cock Rings

cock ring imageNot sure what I cock ring is? Not to worry. This beginners guide to cock rings will help explain everything you need to know.

What Is A Cock Ring?

Cock rings are accessories worn around the base of the penis to extend intercourse by keeping blood trapped inside the shaft of the penis (they also seem to work wonders at making the penis look bigger – I said look, they don’t actually make it longer or bigger). In some cases, they can also be used to help hold a condom in place.

Erections occur when the penis is filled with blood after arousal (click the link to learn more about the ‘Male’ Sexual Response Cycle). Muscle spasms occurring at the base of the penis cause blood to be trapped and the penis to become hard. When there is a problem with the muscle spasms, the blood flows out and the penis remains soft.  Fortunately for many people a cock ring worn at the base of an erect penis will help prevent the blood from leaving the shaft, thus maintaining a firmer erection.

Whether made of  nitrile, leather, metal, silicone, or otherwise, there are many options available. The challenge is finding one that works with you and your body.

cock ring on penisFinding the Right Size

Considering that one of the most asked questions I get regarding cock rings is in regard to size, I want to assure you that most silicone and/or rubber rings will stretch to fit even the largest of penises, it’s just a matter of finding one that will accommodate comfortably.

As for metal rings; take a strip of paper, fabric, or something flexible that will comfortably fit around the shaft, wrap it around the base of the penis and mark where the ends meet. Measure the length, divide by 3, and you’ve got your size. For most people, a 1.75-2 inch ring will be sufficient to wear comfortably. I personally suggest avoiding metal rings unless you are experienced as they are harder to apply, remove, and there is the potential for it to get stuck should you be unable to lose the erection (which will very likely lead to a hospital visit).

Note: you could use a flexible tape measure, though you’ll want one made of a soft material that won’t accidentally cut you – which is why I don’t suggest traditional tape measures that could accidentally snap back.

vibrating cock ring on shaftHow To Wear

While the most effective way to wear a cock ring is behind the balls and around the top of the shaft, many people opt to wear them around the shaft only as it may be a bit more comfortable. Unfortunately there are a few things that may go wrong with this, like it slipping off during sex when things get wet and slippery.

On that note, I suggest applying a good water based lube before putting on the ring, as there is a likely chance it may otherwise tug and pull on pubic hair (if you have any) during use or removal. No matter which way you choose to wear a cock ring it should fit comfortably and cause no pain. One thing to remember is that cock rings should be first applied to a soft, flaccid penis and stay on until the penis is hard and erect.

Titanmen cock ringApplication

Applying cock rings is easy, especially those that are stretchy (like silicone and rubber): simply stretch the ring with two fingers (index and ring fingers) of both hands and bring the ring underneath and behind the balls, then back toward your lower abdomen, slowly allowing the tension to bind the base of the penis securely.

Unfortunately using metal rings is a little trickier: start by lubing up your balls, then gently maneuver one testicle through the ring (doesn’t matter which one), then gently ease in the other, from there you’re going to gently fold the penis and point it so it’s head down and push it through the ring, then carefully pull the ring back against your body so it sits above the shaft. As I said, this is a little trickier and can also be a tad more uncomfortable.

cock ring on balls and shaftThe Bad

Because the penis is made up of millions of blood vessels (that allow the flow of blood to enter and exit the area), constricting the flow of blood into (or out of)  the penis is just not something it’s meant to do naturally. As such, some of the problems you may face include numbness, discoloration, the inability to ejaculate, unnatural swelling and pain – often due to using one that’s too small, thin, or an improper application.

**If you notice any of the above I advise that you take the cock ring off immediately. 

It is also not advised to leave a ring on for too long – a hard on that lasts several hours can cause blood to coagulate in the shaft which may make it very hard to lose the erection. If this happens, I suggest you seek medical attention as soon as possible.

Tips & Suggestions

  • Learning to apply c-rings before using them with a partner may be one of the best suggestions I have to offer. Not only will it cut down the time it takes to put on when in the moment, but it will also give you a feeling of confidence and preparedness, rather then being caught off guard leaving you fumbling in the dark.
  •  Using a little bit of lube to apply the c-ring will help it slide over the shaft and limit the amount of pubic hair (if you have any) that may get caught during use or removal. I’ve heard horror stories, trust me on this one.
  • Unless you are well versed with the use of c-rings I highly suggest sticking to rubber (not jelly), silicone, cyberskin or other somewhat flexible material rather then investing in metal. That way if you happen to ‘lock off’ (meaning you can’t return to your flaccid state, rendering you unable to remove the product) you can always cut the product off rather than having to go to the hospital to have it removed.
  • If you’re going to be using protection (and I hope you are) I suggest applying the condom first, then placing the cock ring over top which will help secure the condom and keep it from rolling up. Again, I’m going to suggest the use of lube to make it both easier, more comfortable, and prevent the condom from possibly tearing.
  • It’s advised to wear them for no longer than 20 minutes at a time, and definitely not something you’ll want to fall asleep still wearing.


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Q&A w/ Kara_Sutra: Does Penis Size Matter?

*the above video is about 6 years old, I debated posting it but ultimately felt it still did a fairly decent job of getting the point across.


Hi Kara,

First let me say I watch every video you put on YouTube. I consider what you do a real service to the community. If people can watch it without feeling guilty or stupid, then you may have just saved a life or helped someone feel more comfortable about themselves.

Now, about me. I’m a healthy male, and I have a micro-penis. I was born with this condition. I masturbate normally, and have erections normally, etc. The only thing is my length is about 3″ when fully erect and my girth is around 1″, maybe just under.

As you can imagine, this has been a huge issue for me my entire life. As a teenager, being introduced to sex, I was mortified of having the discussion with my girlfriends. So, it never came up. When I went to high school I never took showers, out of embarrassment. It wasn’t until AFTER I graduated, my doctor talked to me and said “Gee, why didn’t you just wear swim trunks and tell people it was a skin condition or something?” Thanks, doc, a few years too late.

I met my current girlfriend and she and I hit it off immediately. After a few dates she wants to have sex and I start to worry, what if she doesn’t like me because of my penis? What if I can’t satisfy her? I don’t want to lose such a great opportunity in love.

I somehow (I will never know how to this day) got up the nerve to tell her about everything over the phone. Amazingly enough, she understands. She says we’ll work things out when we need to. I’m shocked, in awe, and simply ecstatic. So we eventually had sex. Our sex was more like lesbian sex, a lot of fingering, a LOT of oral, etc.

Now, I don’t know if its my brain malfunctioning, but I’ve always WANTED to have “normal” male/female sex. You know, penis in vagina. I don’t know if its a “feelings of inadequacy” thing, or what. So I’ve been looking at hollow strap-on harness sets like Vac-U-Lock. I’m wondering if you know of a good one to use. My main concern is the quality of the attachment, since her pleasure is paramount for me. I don’t want to get a very rigid/plastic-y dong attachment, since the whole reason for this is me giving HER pleasure. I want to be able to do all the positions that normal people do, but I can’t.

I hope you read this far, if you did, thank you. I know you’ll be able to point me in the right direction. Thank you for not judging, thank you for educating and entertaining. You are the best.

Does Penis Size Matter? Answer

First off thanks for watching and supporting what I do!

As for the question, what you are experiencing is fairly common.  I receive emails from males in your same situation at least 5 -10 times a week, so you are definitely not alone in it.

I also wanted to let you know how proud I am that you got up the courage to talk to your partner and be honest with how you felt and what you were going through. It must have been very difficult for you and something most would just shy away from. As I’ve tried to stress before, communication is key to making things work, and your being willing to be open and honest with her will go a long way in building a foundation of trust and understanding.

The best advice I can give when it comes to your feelings of inadequacy is to let you know that as long as you are able to please her orally or by manual stimulation (fingering) then you haven’t too much to worry about.  Keep in mind that majority of women (around 70%) get off from clitoral stimulation, not from penetration.  That’s why I always say it’s not your dick that’s the source of your power. Funnily enough, judging from the letters I receive from many females the majority of men don’t know what to do with their “normal” sized dicks anyways… or fingers, or mouth for that matter.

As for your interest in strap-on’s, is there any particular reason that you were thinking of a Vac-U-Lock?   I only ask because they usually aren’t the “better” brand.

With Vac-U-Lock you will need to purchase the “plug“, harness as well as the dildo/dong attachments (usually separately) and unfortunately it is only compatible with other Vac-U-Lock products.

Aside from that, they’re usually only made out of jelly materials (which are porous and absorb bodily fluids, lube and bacteria).

Where the harness is concerned I suggest you stay away from the plastic, rubbery feeling ones as they either tend to rub on the skin a little too much or trap the sweat underneath causing the product to either stick to you (not comfortably) or slide around.

There are many other products available on the market that I think could do the job while also providing some stimulation for you, without being too big or bulky, falling off, or only being compatible with one another.

You may want to also think about penis extensions,  they can be more comfortable as well as have a more realistic feel and look to them.

Also, considering the fact that the g-spot is located between 1-3 inches inside the vagina you don’t need to have a large penis to stimulate it.  In fact, it’s often those with “smaller” penises that tend to offer the most stimulation for women where g-spot stimulation and penetration are concerned. That being said you may want to consider something that adds girth and not length like a sleeve.

With the different suggestions you may have to try a few and see what works best for you. Do your best to not be discouraged if a product doesn’t work out the way you wanted or hoped, instead, try something new, make it fun and realize many men have had to go through this as well.

I’ve posted a bunch of images below of the products I’d personally suggest, feel free to shop on my new toy site, or to take the suggestions and shop around for better prices elsewhere. I’m not in it for the money, only to help out where I can.

Before I go I’d also like for you to consider that unless she has said something to you about it, she may actually be comfortable with the size of your penis.  Not all females care about penis size, or want a large penis, instead they care about the level of intimacy and comfort they have with their partner.

Sleeves and Extensions

*if you have allergies always check the material before purchasing.



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Review: Babeland Body Essentials Kit

My love of Babeland products, along with what they stand for as a company, should come as no surprise to anyone that’s familiar with my reviews. Between the high level of quality, discreet packaging, amazing scents, flavors and colors used, they’ve pretty much covered all the basics when it comes to creating fantastic sexual wellness products.

Whether it was their BabeLicious Lubes, Massage Candle or Natural BabeLube, every product I tried far exceeded my expectations and left me wanting to explore and sample everything they make! Fortunately the generous folks at Babeland were nice enough to send the sweet and citrus-y Babeland Body Essentials Kit my way, leaving me once again very pleasantly surprised.

*clicking the product links above will take you to each of my reviews of the products.


 The overall packaging is small, simple, discreet, practical and very well done. There is nothing on or within the clear plastic rectangles that’s rude, inappropriate, tacky, cheesy or embarrassing; just the name of the kit (Romance, Pleasure, Delight or Love) and what’s included.

The translucent container is surprisingly sturdy and held up to me dropping it about 4 times without so much as a crack. Sure there were scuff marks but that’s to be expected. As for the size, it measures just under 4.5″ inches in height and 2.4″ inches across making it a small enough size that you could put it in a drawer or box without taking up much room.

Of course the box doesn’t have to just be used for storing the products it comes with, when you’re done you can use it to hold batteries, condoms, sample lube packets, mini bullets, make up, art brushes, pencils, paper clips or anything else you can think up. No matter what you use it for it’s definitely a handy little container that could be reused for quite some time.

 The Goods

One of the biggest pet peeves I have when it comes to intimate accessories like lubes and oils is the fact that the vast majority of companies only sell one size, usually a large one , that doesn’t give the customer a chance to sample the flavor or scent before spending a large amount of money. The main drawback obviously being that if you don’t like the product you’ve ended up wasting your money. Thankfully Babeland takes the guess work out of choosing and offers smaller versions of their amazing products, allowing you to try just enough to decide if you like the scent, flavor, texture and experience each has to offer.

Each Essentials Kit contains: 1/4-ounce flavored Lickable Oil, a one-ounce bottle of Massage Oil, 8-1/2ml Massage Oil Spray, a 1/2-ounce BabeLicious Flavored Lube, one small Body Massage Bar , and a one-ounce Body Massage Candle. I received the orange “Romance” kit which included organge blossom, chocolate orange and citron fig scents and flavors.

Rather than just doing an over all review of the product I’m going to once again being doing mini reviews for each item. That way if you like the sounds of the product you can either sample them all by getting the kit or purchase a single larger item.

Babeland Body Essentials Kit

Babeland Body Massage Bar (Orange Blossom scent)

If you’ve tried natural massage bars before you’ll likely find that they aren’t that different from other brands. Starting out as firm little creamy bars that melt into heavenly oils, massage bars serve as a luxurious product that can be used alone, with a partner, after a shower as a body moisturizer, perfume or to simply help bring on a relaxed mood for you and your partner.

* To use just glide the massage bar directly over your warm skin and watch as it slowly melts into a silky oil upon contact. Once the bar has melted you can massage or rub the remaining oils into the skin.

Each of the lovely little circular 1/2-oz massage bars come wrapped in colored foil and wax paper that’s pretty, simple, discreet and professional. There’s nothing on the wrapper that’s rude, tacky or inappropriate and I definitely think they’d make for a fantastic present no matter the recipient.  To open simply unwrap the foil like you would a chocolate bar and gently peel back the wax paper. You’ll likely find that the wax paper sticks a tiny bit to the bar but not enough that you’ll waste or lose any.

The scent is warm, musky (not musty that’s different), slightly citrus, fresh, floral, inviting and sweet being neither too heavy nor too strong or overwhelming. As for the texture, once rubbed in I didn’t feel heavily coated in product, slimy, oily, greasy or sticky like lesser brands with chemical fillers and/or cheap synthetic oils. Of course there was a slight slickness to my skin but for the most part I was left soft, supple and wonderfully scented.

*I applied it after a shower my partner asked if I had been doing laundry, when I looked at him perplexed he said it smelled like the fabric softer I use – but better.

Side Note: when I received mine I popped it into the freezer right away to let it harden as it had slightly melted during shipping. Once it was firm I opened it and cut it into equal quarters which allowed me to try it on four separate occasions. If you’d like to do the same I suggest either rewrapping the unused portions in the foil or placing them in a freezer bag and popping it back in the fridge for later use.

Cautions: As massage bars are made with natural butters and oils I highly suggest making sure your hands are free of the oils before using latex barriers like condoms or dental dams. Because they melt at body temperature I’d advise keeping them somewhere cool, dry and out of direct sunlight (I find keeping them in the fridge or freezer works great!). Meant for external purposes only.

Ingredients: Cocoa Butter, Shea Butter, Fragrance

Final Verdict: 5 out of 5 stars

BabeLicious Lubes (Chocolate Orange flavor)

Considering that the 5 oz container of flavored lube was one I had previously tried (review link here) I’m not too sure what I can say that’s ‘new’; it still smells and tastes great, has a fantastic thick gel like consistency, is latex safe and water based so you can use it with any intimate accessory, doesn’t contain glycerin or parabens, glides on smooth and lasts for quite some time without getting sticky or tacky. Of course how much you use will depend on your own level of personal wetness and/or how much you like the taste (during oral play), but for the most part a little will go a very long way.

The flavor is slightly chocolaty and sweet with a subtle orange undertone that’s very light. There is no gross syrupy taste, chemical burn in your throat or horrible after taste. It’s nice and simple, everything a really great flavored lube should be.

Unlike the larger version that comes as pictured above, the sample comes packaged in a small clear plastic screw capped bottle that’s discreet, and simple. There’s nothing on it that’s rude, inappropriate or tacky and since the label could be easily removed it’s nothing you’d have to worry about when it comes to people finding it.

Applying the lube is easy, just unscrew the cap, squish the bottle until it rises to the surface and place where ever you want. Maybe it’s just me but I found that banging the product on your hand to get the lube out was like trying to put ketchup on fries, it just doesn’t happen that easily. Fortunately spillage isn’t something you have to really worry about as it’s thick and not at all runny. I think most people would be able to get 1-3 uses out of it depending on how much natural lubrication they provide.

Ingredients: Deionized water, cellulose gum, potassium sorbate, polyquaternium-7, phenoxyethanol, sorbitol, citric acid, flavor.

Final Verdict: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Babeland Body Massage Candle (Citron Fig scent)

Unlike the larger version (pictured left and reviewed here) the 1 oz sample candle came packaged in a small silver metal tin that was discreet and simple. The lid easily popped off (unless my hands were oily) and almost instantly flooded the air with a warm but citrus-y, mature, clean and soapy scent. While it wasn’t overwhelming or obnoxious, I’d definitely say it was ‘heavy’ and very different from the pretty and feminine smelling Rice Flower candle I previously reviewed. Fortunately once it’s allowed to melt and applied to the skin the heaviness fades and the sweeter citrus notes take over leaving you smelling fresh and clean.

*To use just light the wick, give it about 3 minutes to melt into a warm puddle and slowly pour a small amount onto the skin. Because it has a higher melting point than regular candles it shouldn’t be hot enough to burn delicate skin. On that note, a little goes a very, very long way and you shouldn’t need much (ours lasted 5 uses – but we weren’t using a lot).

The texture is very different from traditional oils, as the  melted wax absorbs quickly without leaving the greasy residue that  petroleum, beeswax or mineral oil based products often do. It also didn’t leave me feeling coated in product, slippery, sticky, itchy, raw or sore, and spread quickly, feeling light, silky, buttery and leaving my skin soft and supple.

Cautions: Since it’s made with natural butters/oils I highly suggest making sure your hands are clean before using latex barriers like condoms or dental dams. Because they melt at body temperature I’d advise keeping them somewhere cool, dry and out of direct sunlight (I find keeping them in the fridge or freezer works great like the massage bars). I also suggest only having it lit for a short amount of time  – metal gets hot really fast, remember that when you’re reaching for the container! Meant for external purposes only.

Ingredients: Soy Wax, Shea Butter, Fragrance

Final Verdict: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Babeland Body Massage Oil Spray (Orange Blossom scent)

Because I have really sensitive skin I’ve always been really picky when it comes to massage oils. Maybe it’s just me but I tend to find that the vast majority will either cause a rash, leave me itchy and sore or make my skin feel as if I dumped a bucket of slime on me that I just can’t seem to wash off. While this Massage Oil Spray isn’t one of my fave products from the kit I can say it’s not a bad product, it’s just not my fave (it just seemed a little boring compared to the candle and massage bar).

*Hate wasting a product? No worries! 3 pumps of the spray provided enough to do my back and left enough for at least another 3 uses.

The long tubular transparent plastic spray bottle travels well and like all the other products in the kit is totally discreet, practical and simple. There’s nothing on it’s possibly embarrassing so you shouldn’t have to worry about leaving it out in the open should someone find it.

Unlike many other oils on the market the texture is smooth and spreads easily over the skin, quickly absorbing to leave you feeling moisturized and supple. There was no grainy feeling to it and while there was a slight sheen to my skin after application, there was no horrible sticky or slimy residue left behind.  The scent was light and airy, slightly citrus, floral, a little musky and sweet, delicate and not at all overpowering.

*If you’re looking to use an oil that wont leave you smelling like you’ve doused yourself in perfume, this is a very nice option.

Cautions: As it is an oil I highly suggest making sure your hands are clean before using latex barriers like condoms or dental dams. Meant for external purposes only.

Ingredients: Sweet Almond Oil, Vitamin E, cyclomethicone, fragrance.

Final Verdict: 4 out of 5 stars

Babeland Lickable Oil (Chocolate Orange Flavor)

Although there are many oils on the market that claim to be edible there are very few that are worthy of the term. It might just be me and my experiences but I very often find that flavored oils leave my tongue feeling slimy, my throat feeling coated and my teeth feeling slick (and not in the good way). Fortunately the folks at Babeland seem to have mastered the art of flavored oils and created a product that’s not only tasty, but also free of the other characteristics I’ve come to despise.

Unlike the larger version that comes in a clear plastic pump style container (pictured above left), the sample comes in a little .25 oz translucent glass bottle that’s easily portable, simple and discreet. Although the screw cap allows for an easy application, there’s also a chance you may use too much since there is no plastic barrier like an orifice reducer or roller ball to limit the amount used.

The oil is thin, runny, light, not at all grainy and spreads over the skin very nicely. Like the other massage products in the kit it absorbs quickly and leaves the skin soft, supple, delicately scented and moisturized. There’s no ‘coated in product’ feeling and you’re definitely not left feeling like you need to wash it off.

I found the Lickable Oil to be far tastier than the Flavored Lube (both Chocolate Orange), as it didn’t have the gel like consistency and the orange was more pronounced. Having said that I still found that it was slightly chocolaty and sweet, very light and fruity while also being rather delicate. By no means is there any gross syrupy taste, chemical burn in your throat or horrible after taste. It’s nice and simple, just like the lube.

Ingredients: Sweet Almond Oil, Flavor.

Cautions: As it is an oil I highly suggest making sure your hands are clean before using latex barriers like condoms or dental dams. Meant for external purposes only.

Final Verdict: 4.75 out of 5 stars

Babeland Body Massage Oil (Orange Blossom Scent)

Since the Massage Oil is pretty much the same product as the Massage Oil Spray (with the exception of the bottle and the lacking of cyclomethicone) there really isn’t to much that I can say that would be new; it smells just as great, leaves the skin soft, supple and smooth, doesn’t have a grainy texture and comes packaged so that you can dispense as much as you’d like.

The only real difference I found was that it was a tad more runny and felt a little thicker than the spray. Of course that’s very likely due to the fact that it’s not applied in a spray that coats a larger surface area in small droplets and instead is applied in a pouring manner.

Cautions: As it is an oil I highly suggest making sure your hands are clean before using latex barriers like condoms or dental dams. Meant for external purposes only.

Ingredients: Sweet Almond Oil, Vitamin E, fragrance.

Final Verdict: 4.75 out of 5 stars

Overall Final Verdict

If you’re a bargain shopper like me, one that also likes to ‘try before you buy’, there is no reason you shouldn’t want to take advantage of this amazing little kit. From sprays to lickable oils, flavored lube to massage candles and bars, it has everything in convenient sizes to test the waters before you spend bigger bucks on something larger. To make the pot even sweeter each of the products is all natural, smells great and doesn’t have the cheap chemical fillers you’ll find in lesser brands.

In a nut shell – each of these products was pretty damn amazing and the kit as a whole is something I’d highly suggest for anyone that’s looking for a perfect little gift, be it a birthday, bachelorette party, couples getaway, romantic night in or simply because you want to splurge and treat yourself. Considering it’s only $24.00 it’s a steal!

For those of you that would like to purchase the Babeland Body Essentials Kit head on over to Babeland and while you’re there make sure to check out the Babeland Body Kit (has a bath fizzy, condoms and vibe instead of the spray oil and lube), Babeland Body Mini Kit (massage bar, lickable lube, entice and vibe) or any of the other fantastic and sexy kits the kick ass folks at the company have put together for you and yours!

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