For as much as I’d like to find another way to say it, there’s really nothing else that does it so perfectly as these three words…
Sex. Is. Messy.
Between the lube, sweat, and other bodily fluids, you’ve got yourself a resulting ‘wet spot’ waiting to happen. One that far too often just can’t be avoided. Sure, you could lay down a towel – they’re readily accessible, easy to employ and pretty handy, but let’s be honest… it really isn’t that arousing of an option (especially if you don’t use dryer sheets or fabric softener and the texture of the towel is akin to running your backside up and down tree bark. Yes I’ve been there. It wasn’t fun).
There is of course another option, one that I actually scoffed at until I put it to good use and saw for myself just how valuable it was: a soft, plush, attractive, comfortable, discreet, perfectly sized, and super absorbent Liberator Throe. It’s like a towel, but a million times better. And that’s putting it mildly.
*Dear SheVibe, Both I, and my bed, thank you!
From the half naked woman strewn about on the front, to the tacky choice of words used in the description (maybe it’s just me but “slurps up love juice” is something they might want to rethink as a selling feature), the low quality plastic box, to the lack of product information, everything about the packaging comes off as cheap, tacky and not very discreet. My suggestion, don’t read it (unless you like a good laugh), just throw it out as soon as you get your Throe.
For those wondering what the big deal is, Fascinator Throes are to beds and sheets, what lubes are to dry sex. Yeah, I know, that probably doesn’t sound so good… let me put it this way; they make the experience a lot more sensual, comfortable, stress-free, and sexy.
Looking for something a little more product specific? Forgive me, but I’m going to quote the box since it’s got the best description I’ve seen so far:
“Fascintator Throes are a sex play surface faced with velvety microfiber or shag fur; lined with a cool sensuous satin underside and a protective water barrier sandwiched in-between.”
Basically put, it’s a double sided, super soft blanket, with a waterproof layer in the middle, that works to protect your bed, sheets, couch, or any other surface you might choose to have some fun on.
As for the many benefits and features…
- Don’t let the crappy packaging fool you, each Liberator Shag Throe is well made, luxurious, designed to last, and quality to boot. Thinking back over the last 4 months mine has been put through hell; between nervously picking at the seams during horror movies, spilling various things on it (ravioli, soup, martinis, etc), throwing it in the wash a half dozen times, bringing it along for very sandy days at the beach, and letting my dog go at it while I watched helplessly (for some reason she decided it needed to die), its managed to retain the same appearance and plush texture as when it first arrived. Lucy – 0. Shag Throe – 1.
- Although it’s marketed specifically on the benefits offered for use during sex, the Shag Throe shouldn’t be limited to just that. It’s great for picnics (the juice, soup and pasts didn’t manage to ruin it), days at the beach (you’ll still need a towel, but since it’s super absorbent you can flip it over and it won’t feel like your lying on a soggy blanket), for use with kids or babies (they’re notorious for spilling stuff), concerts or days at the park (makes a pretty kickass barrier between dewy grass and dry bottoms), long flights or bus rides (it’s a far cry from those crappy, baby sized, itchy blankets they give you), or to simply add something lavish to any room. I honestly can’t figure out why these things aren’t more mainstream. I mean shit, if the “Snuggie” can do it…
- If you’re the type that gets very wet, or squirts, and inevitably ends up having to strip the bed of sheets right after sex (not everyone likes sleeping in a wet spot), a Throe, no matter the kind, will likely end up being a serious time saver. On that note, having to wash just one blanket rather than a bunch of bedding is definitely a nice change of pace.
- For those that like the feel of different textures against their skin, whether it’s smooth and satiny, plush and soft, velvish (like a suede) or thick luxurious faux fur, there’s a few options to choose from. I know for some of you this wont seem like a big deal, but in the heat of the moment the added sensations on the body can be quite the turn on… especially when blindfolded.
- Considering the large size (most are 5′ x 4′), each Fascinator Throe will cover a much larger area than a towel could, while also looking and feeling much better.
To test the absorbancy/waterproofness of my pretty purple Throe I decided to create two tests that I could show/share online:
The first was using 3 different types of water based lube, all of which had different consistencies; Sliquid Sea, Give Lube Premium Aqua Gel , and SystemJo Tangerine. On the satin side (since it was thinner) I dribbled thick lines down the material and let it sit for 5 minutes untouched, beside it I dumped a shit tonne and rubbed it in, again leaving it to sit for 5 minutes. The results: the areas where I rubbed it in still felt damp to the touch, but they weren’t ‘soaking wet’ like I expected. The dribbled lube sat in little pools, with the edges having slowly seeped into the material. Fortunately nothing had seeped through the layers to the shag side, nor was there any indication that anything had been dripped, rubbed or spilled. *pictures below
For the second test I literally dumped an entire glass of water over both sides and let it sit for 5 minutes untouched, what the hell this was supposed to prove I have no idea (maybe a good test for big squirters or people that get really wet during intercourse?). As you can see it absorbed into the thinner satin side, however it pooled and created little droplets on the thicker shag side (picture 3 below), and when I lifted it to check the bed there was absolutely no seepage through to the bedspread. Having said that, places on the satin side where the water was absorbed, but wasn’t poured on the shag side, didn’t seep through to the shag side. Of course it was damp and heavy, but again, it didn’t feel ‘soaking wet’ like I expected. Waterproof test = passed! *pictures below
Care & Cleaning
To clean your Throe simply machine wash it separately or with like colors in cold water, delicate cycle and tumble dry on low heat. It’s advised that you don’t add bleach or or iron it since you’ll likely ruin it. For the record I’ve washed mine quite a few times now and it’s still good as new.
When it came to things I didn’t like there were only two, though I personally blame my cats, not the product: it collects cat hair, not like a silicone toy does, but still… it’s not very hot when in the heat of the moment you find yourself lubed up and covered in kitty fur. If your cats have claws (mine all do) they’ll likely put little ‘catches’ in the satin side by accident. My cats never tried to scratch it intentionally, but when they’re sleeping they do that kitten-paw-flex-purr-thing and since they all like to sleep on it, it can’t be avoided.
When I first spied the Liberator Shag Throes online I thought they were a pretty clever marketing gimmick, I mean common, they’re just blankets. Then I read a bunch of reviews and figured that if that many people thought they were great, maybe I was missing something. Now, having owned, used, and loved one, I have to admit my first impressions were wrong. Very wrong. Not only are the Liberator Throes a far better idea than using a towel, they’re practical in a way many other ‘sex accessories’ aren’t.
For more info or to pick out a Throe of your own (trust me, you need one!), head over to SheVibe. They’re listed at lower prices than I’ve seen on other sites, and even carry matching elegant LoveArts restraint pillows (I WANT!), and handy but fancy Stashe Pillows to hide all your goodies.
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