Back in May DangerousLilly nominated me in her “Real Neat blog post“, but with various home renos, preparing for the release of Jamie’s second book ‘Husk’, personal issues that left me feeling emotionally battered and broken, and a family members health situation that required helping with the family business full-time, I just didn’t have time to devote to this little site I call ‘home’.
Hoping to produce the bare minimum, I tried to keep up with reviews… but at the end of the day I just couldn’t get my head clear enough to focus on writing anything concise, let alone find the time, energy, or will to masturbate. Basically, I burnt myself out and was in need of a break. It wasn’t intentional, just one of those things that happens when you forget that #selfcare is important.
Now that things have calmed a little I’ll be getting back into reviewing, creating more Sex Ed 102 videos, adding more content to the site (especially new ‘sex guides‘ and opinion pieces), searching out the bizarre and amazing for #WTFWednesday/#FunFindFriday, and doing posts like this.
So without further ado, here are my answers…
1. What was the reason you decided to start blogging? Has that reason changed over time?
Unlike many within the community, I never set out to start a blog; back in 2007 my focus was on creating Sex Ed 102 videos and at the time YouTube didn’t allow anything longer than 10 minutes. Being someone that liked to offer as munch info as possible, blogging allowed a way to say everything I couldn’t in the time allotted. It also provided a central location to house all of my content in one place, I thought it would make life easier for those that wrote asking for links to past videos (nobody likes spending hours scrolling or searching).
Having a blog also meant I could expand my content with in depth Q&A’s, covering topics too taboo for YouTube (at the time), and how-to guides. There was also the possibility I could make money off advertising, a practice YouTube didn’t allow back in the day. As a struggling 26 year old that really wanted to keep doing something she loved, who also didn’t want to be censored, and hoped to make a living at it, having a blog to compliment my videos was the perfect option.
Over the years my blog has changed in huge ways from its original form, but I think the core reasons I created it haven’t shifted that much. Regarding my videos, that’s a whole other story. Originally I just wanted to pump out new content and focus on subjects I thought might get views, but as I began to work with respected manufacturers, University programs, production companies, and big brands within the industry, I felt like I had to create content that was highly “professional” and stopped doing things off the cuff. By the 6th year of making videos I was burnt out, felt like I had lost myself, and wasn’t having fun with it anymore… that’s something I’m hoping to change with future content.
2. If your site had a goal, what would it be? How do you feel you’re doing with that goal, right now? How do you feel you’ve done with that goal over all?
My main goal has always been to help viewers/readers better their sex lives, build confidence via sex positive education, and make some money doing something I love.
Currently my feelings on this goal are torn; on the one hand I’m doing quite a bit behind the scenes to update content and make the site far more user friendly, on the other hand there’s a lot on my plate limiting the time I have to create new content. Ideally, I’d like to have 2-3 posts per week, however right now that’s just not possible. This lack makes me feel like I’m failing, but I also know life ebbs and flows… soon enough I’ll be back on schedule, the site will be everything I envision, and my readers/viewers will be getting the content they deserve.
Whether it’s answering questions that often go ignored, clearing up common myths and misinformation, reviewing sex toys, and/or providing a safe space for people to learn and explore their sexuality without judgement or guilt, I think I’ve done a fairly good job overall.
3. How has blogging influenced your life?
That should be an easy question to answer, but it isn’t.
From learning code to discovering my love of photography, participating in a wonderful sex-positive community to understanding the inner workings of the media, discovering who I am and what makes me tick to owning bins and bins of sex toys, learning how to use my voice for positive change to traveling to conventions I never thought I’d attend (even if the trip did turn into a shit show, I still got to travel!), becoming comfortable in my own skin and learning to love my body to helping others in a way I didn’t think was possible.
I really don’t know what my life would look like or who I be if I hadn’t been blogging for the last 7 years.
4. What is your favorite part of blogging?
Educating, offering insight, changing/challenging perspectives, creating something that’s mine, and helping people have a better sex life makes me feel like I’m doing something good for the world; that I’m making a real difference. Earning a living off of it is just icing on the cake.
More than any of that, the friends I’ve made and the brands/companies I’ve been able to work with… I’m still flattered, amazed, and so very thankful.
5. What website on the entire web, besides your own, do you spend the most time on?
Seriously? Ugh. I’ll give my top five go-to toys ’cause I truthfully can’t pick just one. Not in any order: Hitachi Magic Wand (amazing clitoral stimulation), We-Vibe Tango (it’s small, discreet, and rechargeable, powerful, and travels well), Tantus Curve (I love that curve!), Njoy Pure Wand (legit g-spot stimulation, also one of the only toys that consistently leads to squirting), and the L’amourose Rosa (vibrating g-spot action. Yes, please).
7. What is the most important thing about you that you want everyone to know?
I have a really hard time calling myself a “blogger”. There’s no real reason for it, I just see blogging as something that’s so expansive that the word and perceptions of what a ‘blogger’ is seem limiting or minimized in some way. Blogging is work. Legitimate work. Yet far too many people think it’s simply sitting at a computer, typing some shit out, and hitting ‘publish’. In reality there’s so much more involved, be it coding pages so they look right, designing elements of the site so they’re appealing, writing posts that are interesting and flow well, linking to external sites, targeting content for SEO, editing until the writing looks like it was easy, and otherwise. Blogging isn’t easy, but it’s hella rewarding.
Also, if you’ve ever wanted to know me: this.
Tag You’re It!
Apparently I’m supposed to tag other people, but it’s been so long since this whole “real neat blog” thing started that I don’t know who’s done it and who hasn’t. So, for those reading this… if you have a blog and haven’t played along yet, here’s your turn. Feel free to change the questions as necessary, just make sure to let me know that you’ve participated either in the comments below or on social media. I’d love to read your answers.
I’m also going to go an unorthodox route and tag 2 companies I love; Tantus and SheVibe. Rather than having the questions be about ‘blogging’, I’d like them to answer in terms of making and/or selling sex toys.
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