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Review: iScream Popsicle Dildo

iScream dildo from SheVibe

Sometimes I think my sense of judgement is seriously lacking… and all for one simple reason; I seem to have this growing affinity for putting bizarre things in my vagina.

Yes, you read that right. Don’t judge me just yet.

From pompom puff balls to dildos in the shape of a praying Nun, star spangled silicone to vibrating caterpillars, if it looks like something out of the ordinary, while still retaining the level of quality my vagina has grown accustom to, I want to cram it in me….

Just. So. I. Can. Say. I. Did.

Yup, this is my life. It’s nothing if not interesting.

Enter the iScream by Love to Love, a dildo in the shape of a giant neon pink popsicle. Like I said, batshit crazy… and nostalgic to boot!

iScream popsicle dildo

Packaging

Unlike pretty much every other sex toy I’ve seen the iScream dildo comes packaged in a thick white envelope, similar to the kind you’d receive in the mail, only it’s heavier and better quality paper, with a smooth almost slightly laminated feel. The front is emblazoned with a neon pink punch of color and the words ‘iScream’ on the forefront, with  frosted icicles dripping from the bottom of each letter and a few black and pink snowflakes sporadically placed to complete the theme. For the most part the entire thing looks a little cheap but cheerful, but it’s discreet so I’m willing to compromise.

The back offers a description of the product in 6 different languages, along with all the typical company info you’d find on other products of the same nature. For the most part there’s nothing tacky or inappropriate about it; the word ‘dildo’ is mentioned only once… but for a sex toy that’s almost not even worth mentioning.

The Good

I hate to admit it but considering it’s nothing more than an elongated silicone shaft placed on an ABS plastic stick, this neon pink piece of nostalgia is as boring straight forward as it gets.

Sure, at first glance it’s playful, fun and unique, stirring all kinds of images in ones head, but there really isn’t that much to it; no texturing or curves to heighten sensations, no bulbous head or graduated dimensions for g-spot play, no dual densities or added features to experiment with, there’s literally nothing special about it… which is why it’s so surprising that it’s good.

Like, really good.  Really, really good.

Before you think I’m bullshitting you, let me explain:

Considering some of my most recent challenges experiences, the silky smooth and supple body makes insertion effortless, exceptionally comfortable, and highly pleasurable… and no, it’s not because my vag is stretched out (for the record they don’t actually do that), it’s all about the design… there’s no ‘lip’ to fight against your body during entry, no ripples or bumps to work past, and no curves that require positioning yourself in a certain uncomfortable angle just to get it in, actually, with a minimal amount of lube it inserts almost as if it’s been slathered in butter just for the occasion, I know, that’s quite the mental image. Let’s just say that it’s simple, and in this case, simple is good.

To say it’s accommodating doesn’t really cover it, once inserted the feeling of fullness, without the added sensations or distractions texturing offers, is quite a wonderful change of pace, and rather than being left in a state of sensory overload from everything going on down there, you’re able to flow through the experience, and resulting orgasm, in a state of blissful focus.

Regarding the measurements you’re looking at 5″ in circumference at the tip, gradually increasing to a max 5 1/2″ at the base, and despite it technically being over my ‘comfort level’ of 4 1/2″ inches, the slight progression makes it something I hardly noticed.

The silicone is supple, pliable, and surprisingly flexible, gifting your vagina with a material it can to cling to amid the delicious rhythmic pulsations felt during orgasm. Now, considering most silicone dildos feel somewhat similar, I can’t say it’s a defining feature or reason to buy it over something else, but I will say it certainly feels nice, especially since the top 1/4 of the shaft is hollow and therefore very easy to manage and maneuver. On that note, everything combined aides well during deep penetration, acting as a cushion, with little to no discomfort felt upon connecting with the the cervix.

Measuring 9″ inches in total length, with only 6″ being insertable, it’s not intimidating or overwhelming in any way, in fact quite the contrary; the iScream has continually bestowed a well earned respite from the more lengthy products I decided to conquer in previous months. Although the taming of them is something I’m proud of, it’s nice to be able to enjoy a product on the first go round, with each following experience bringing the same level of release, without also having to ‘warm up’ or methodically prepare before hand. It’s as simple as ‘put it in and go’… yes I did just say that, and yes I did mean it.

hollow shaft = very bendy = good

The handle isn’t one of my favorite features for solo use (I’ll admit it’s actually pretty decent, unless your hands are lubed up, then it’s a slippery pain in the ass, but I’ll get to that in the next section), it certainly comes in handy during partner play, awarding an element of control during intercourse that others seem to be lacking. Whether it’s deep and rough thrusting, or smooth and slow penetrative foreplay, you’re able to manipulate movements with little force or effort. Trust me, I know how odd that must sound, it’s a friggin Popsicle stick, but until you’ve tried it (being on either the receiving or giving end), you just won’t understand. It’s little things like this that make a big difference.

If you read my reviews you likely know I’m a fan of anything bright and colorful, especially neon. I have no clue why but if there’s a sex toy made in a neon shade, I have this unrelenting urge to cram it inside me… now make said toy a neon pink popsicle – an almost perfect blending of 80’s nostalgia and badassness – well, my little bitter heart can’t help but go pit-a-pat. If I can’t make it any clearer let’s just put it this way: all the neon are belong to my vagina. So mote it be.

Finally, for those that want to have the experience of stuffing a popsicle inside you without the *prevailing yeast infection a real one would likely create, it retains cold temperatures well offering up a pretty sensational scenario.  Of course it’s not the real thing, but it’s as close as your going to get. As an added bonus, it warms to body temperature quickly and holds heat nicely too, so if you want to give someone a real mind fuck, on top of a decent literal one, just heat it in warm water before insertion… assuming most would expect it to be cold, it’ll likely throw them for a loop. #SexPranks for the win.

Aside from all of that it’s discreet, especially since it’s a dildo rather than a vibrator. You could leave this anywhere, and although it’ll draw people like flies on shit, no one will assume it’s what it is. Can we say amazing? I think we can.

*Warning: If you’ve felt the urge to cram a legit popsicle in your lady bits let me give you one really good reason why you shouldn’t; yeast thrives in moist sugary environments, popsicles are made with high doses of sugar, putting sugar in your moist vagina will likely lead to a very bad yeast infection, just don’t do it. Capisce? capisce!

iScream dildo popsicle comparison

size comparison

fake vs real

girth comparison

back of packaging

Care & Cleaning

Since it’s made of quality silicone you can wash it with anti-bacterial soap and water, and just give it a really good rinse. There’s no real grooves or seams for debris or gunk to get stuck so you won’t need to do any heavy duty cleaning.

As with all silicone products you’ll want to use water based lubricants as a silicone lube will likely ruin it with time. If you’re dead set on using a silicone lube I’d suggest doing a patch test on the base of the dildo first. If it turns matte or ‘foggy’ don’t use it. If there’s no reaction you may be fine, even though it’s fairly inexpensive I just wouldn’t chance it.

The Bad

Regarding any downfalls there were a few…

First and foremost, when your hands are lubed up the plastic handle is fairly hard to control… you’ll probably feel more like a kid learning to use chopsticks for the first time than a masterful pro shoveling Chop Suey as though it’s second nature. Yes, I did just compare maneuvering a sex toy to learning to use chopsticks while eating Asian fair. It’s my blog, I get that luxury.

space at base

Because it isn’t actually sealed to the ABS stick there is a probable chance that lube, bodily fluids or water will get inside during use or cleaning. The best suggestions I can give are to stand it up while it’s drying and hope it all escapes, put a condom on it during use to limit any bodily fluids seeping in, and avoid pouring water over the base. Sorry, that’s all I’ve got.

If you enjoy varying sensations or targeted g-spot stimulation this likely won’t be the product for you as the lack of texturing may leave much to be desired.  Personally I really loved it, but that’s just me.

Since most of the newer dildos or vibes have a base of sorts (making them safe for ass play), the popsicle is something I’d highly discourage your from stuffing in yer rear.  Not only could it easily slip inside and potentially get lodged, but the handle, with its thin and potentially slippery design, wouldn’t offer much help when it comes to removal. Do yourself a favor and just keep it in the front.

Surprise, surprise, it attracts lint. We all know much I hate this so I’ll just leave it at that.

Lastly, there’s a slight amount of drag against the skin so lube definitely will be needed, the good news is that you likely won’t need too much since it’s not that bad.

Final Verdict

I’ll be completely honest and admit it was the design that originally won me over, I mean shit, it’s a giant dildo in the shape of a popsicle. It’s weird, absurd, hilarious and totally amazing – everything a new and innovative sex toy should be – but done in a way that’s clever, which makes it even more appealing. Yes, cupcakes, rubber ducks, and puff balls are fun, but this thing takes it to another level… I really can’t figure out why someone didn’t think of it sooner. It’s brilliant.

Since I’m being honest, I’ll also admit that I really didn’t have high expectations, assuming it was to be one of the more boring things I’ve crammed inside me… and that’s where I was wrong. This is more that just a gimmicky piece of silicone,  yes all the typical elements are there, but when it’s put to use all of the glowing benefits and features really come to life. Sure, you could buy yourself a more traditional dildo, but when there’s options like this it almost seems silly.

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Review: Babes ‘n Horny – Ohio

yankee dildo dandyIf you follow me on twitter you likely know that although I’m Canadian, I’ve been all over the 2012 Presidential election #hashtagging the shit out of everything pro Obama. I’ve covered the debates like they’re an MMA fight between two heavy weights and voiced my dislike for the smirking religious zealot Mittens, and his equally scary side-kick Ryan.

It should come as no surprise that on the day the American public decides the fate of their Country,  I’ve taken it upon myself to review a product that fits into the mix perfectly, practically screaming “MURICA, FUCK YEAH!“… the Ohio dildo, created by the amazing folks over at Babes ‘n Horny.

Shit, if I can’t vote, at least I can do this.

Packaging

As with all the products I received from the company, Ohio arrived void of any ‘packaging’, instead being wrapped in transparent plastic with the name of the dildo written across the bottom. Sure, there will be some that think it’s a cheap way to go, but considering it comes straight from the manufacturer I don’t mind one bit; there’s basically no garbage produced, no carbon footprint created, and it grants them the ability to get you the product without it potentially being stopped at the border and thoroughly investigated, or held back due to what it is (which has happened to me on more than a handful of occasions.)

I wrote to my contact at the company last time I did a review for them and this is what she had to say about it:

“Yes, all dildos are shrink wrapped and then packed securely in discreet cardboard. We choose a box that fits as snugly as possible so that curious persons cannot squeeze them! and then packed in a generic Royal Mail envelope with only our Panda studio address on it. There is absolutely no mention of Babes-n-Horny whatsoever visible on the package. For all anyone knows it could be a part for your lawn mower(!)”

As far as I’m concerned I think it’s a step in the right direction and more companies should follow suit.

OhioThe Good

Just like my review of the stunning multi colored rainbow dildo I previously fell in love with, I’m going to start with the obvious reason I’d buy Ohio;  it’s visually striking in a way many other pleasure objects never quite manage to achieve. I might be wrong but I’m pretty sure it’s the only sex toy on the market baring resemblance to the American flag. In a market flooded with similar coloring and rehashed hues, Ohio certainly stands apart.

As expected, each of red and white stripes ‘pops’ against the next, never once bleeding or fading into the other. The shades are bright and bold, offering clean lines that are far from diluted or washed out. More importantly, the white is actually white, and while that may not seem like a big deal, considering the fact that it could be a very pale shade of pink (which I half expected due to the red portions), it’s not, leaving me thoroughly impressed.

Regarding the texture, you’re looking at a dildo that’s squishy, pliable, sleek, flexible, highly supple, wonderfully smooth, virtually seamless, and exceptionally easy to work with. Not only does the flawless design and gently rounded head allow it to glide in with ease and comfort, it also lends itself well to moving with the body whether during thrusting or grinding upon.

On that note, the accommodating size makes it great for deep thrusting, as the lack of length offers an opportunity to plunge deep without fear of potential soreness afterwards, and while Ohio isn’t overly girthy or thick, it’s certainly capable of creating a lovely feeling of fullness whether used anally or vaginally.

For those that like to share the experience with others, the flared base provides a variety of options by which to explore; it makes a great handle, allowing complete control while also providing a layer of cushioning during heavy play. It’s also great for wearing in a strap-on, especially since it’s fairly light and therefor tends not to droop too much. It even suctions to most flat surfaces quite well.

With the exception of two subtly thicker rounded portions found along the body of the shaft, the shape is fairly basic, limiting stimulation of the g-spot or p-spot. Fortunately those two inclusions aren’t wasted, as each can be felt during penetration, adding to the experience in the most delightful of ways.

Even though Ohio isn’t crafted in the good ‘ol US of A, quite surprising considering the star spangled design, it’s still nice to find small homegrown companies making a living doing something they love. Taking into account all the election talk of ‘small businesses’ and helping them get the support they need, I can’t help but agree – there needs to be more of this, much more. Just like I hope you vote responsibly, I also hope you buy responsibly.

Stats: Although Ohio isn’t as large as the last few dildos I’ve reviewed, allowing my vagina to finally catch a break, that doesn’t mean it’s not highly enjoyable; in total you’re looking at  around 5.5″ inches with 5′ inches of that being fully insertable (the base is an inch in length), just under 4′ inches around in circumference (by my own measurements), and a diameter of just over an inch. Keep in mind that each of these is hand crafted which may alter the dimensions in the slightest of ways.

babes n horny dildo Ohio

size comparison

Ohio-006-e1352243191735

flexible body

Yankee dildo

girth

Ohio-001-e1352243715362

Ohio

Care & Cleaning

Because it’s crafted of high quality silicone you can simply wash it using soap and water, just make sure to give it a good rinse, you could also boil it if you wanted to totally sterilize it, but I don’t think it’s really necessary since it’s non porous and won’t absorb bodily fluids, lube or bacteria in the same way a lesser quality material would.

As always, when it comes to silicone I’d only suggest a good water based lube, and if you have issues with reoccurring yeast infections, one that’s sugar and/or glycerin free would definitely be a good idea.

Ohio-013-e1352257378364

The Bad

When it comes to things I don’t like, there are a few but they’re mostly superficial…

While it is esthetically pleasing, those that are perfectionists may have a slight problem with the specifics; of the 7 stars present on the base two are a little blurred, with the rest being lopsided, stretched and/or far from perfect. Fortunately this has nothing to do with the actual experience and therefore remains more of a silly visual issue than anything truly worth mentioning. And really, how many other sex toys do you see with legit stars and stripes? None. End of story.

Because of the texture you’ll likely need to lube it up, otherwise there will be some drag on the skin that could prove to be a tad uncomfortable.

Other than that, it attracts lint which we all know by now drives me batshit crazy… but that’s just me, in reality it’s certainly not a deal breaker.

Final Verdict

For as much as I wanted to, I opted against using the entirety of this review to push why I think everyone should vote for Obama. Or to highlight his stance on equal rights for women. Or go into all the lies Mr. Money Bags Romney has told. Nay, on the eve of the #2012election I decided to focus my anxiety attention on the a product called”Ohio”, rather than the swing State of the same name. Though if I was covering the State, you can bet your sweet ass it would be to show you why I think they should thank Obama by giving him their vote.

No matter whom you’re voting for, if you’re a proud American you really need a Yankee Dildo Dandy like Ohio. Not only is it body safe, highly durable, easy to use, versatile, supple and comfortable, it shows a dedication to your Country and everything it stands for; Liberty and sex toys for all. Okay, I made that last part up, call it me exercising some ‘freedom of speech’… and taking one last quick jab at Mitt “The Misogynist” Romney.

If you prefer a far more fun comparison, it also resembles the Cat In the Hat’s Hat. So yeah, picture yourself stuffing that in your vag.

To get more info, check out the amazing selection Babes n Horny offers, or learn more about the company, head over to their website where shopping for intimate accessories is discreet, easy and well worth the money! (I’d personally suggest eyeing the Leo in the Desert Camo, their Butt Plugs in lovely pastels, Etienne – a white version with pretty bright dots, a cast of the TS porn star Danni Daniels cock, and finally, another star spangled beaut hailing from the same place my beloved Obama does, Chicago.

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Review: Vixen Creations – Maverick

Vixen Creations Maverick

With its intense neon green, impressively large, I’m-totally-gonna-eff-you-up glory, I can’t help but think that if the Incredible Hulk had a penis, Maverick is what it would look like, albeit massively larger.

And with that thought, I am at once both terrified and excited that in my world things like this exist… and it’s my job to play with them.

I mean shit, just look at it, it’s amazing! Now if only I could get my hands on a Thor or Iron Man replica, I’d be in heaven.

It certainly doesn’t help that each time I’ve brought it out my mind wanders to thoughts of Mark Ruffalo, Eric Bana, and Edward Norton, whom if combined, may just be responsible for creating the best Super Hero cock that ever there was.  Of course it’s not an actual mould of the Incredible Hulk, nor any of the drool worthy actors that have played the part, but it’s as close as I’m gonna get, and I’m alright with that.

Packaging

I’ve always loved the transparent Vixen Creations tubular packaging. There’s just something eye catching and fun about it. As far as descriptions go there’s nothing rude, crude, tacky or cheap, instead providing the necessary info you’d need to make an informed decision as well as cleaning/care instructions. There’s also the adorable fox logo I’ve come to love, but that’s it.

*For those of you that value total discretion the sticker(s) can be removed so there’s literally nothing on it.

The Good

From the opaque white flared base to the bright UV glowing fluor-a-green, a girthy yet squishy body to the pronounced ridging on the shaft, this dildo is nothing to balk at. Much like another beast, the Tantus T-Rex, Maverick is impressive and overwhelming, daunting and exhilarating, in the most inspiring of ways. Gladly it’s not as girthy as the T-Rex, making insertion, and the ensuing enjoyment far easier to achieve.

But still… it’s a beast, and should be treated as such.

vixen creations maverick

As for the many other reasons it’s garnered my utmost respect…

Like all Vixen Creations the outer texture is supple, squishy, and pliable, allowing it to conform to the bodies curves and orgasmic contractions in a truly unique way; it’s almost as if I can feel it pulse and throb with me in a gentle rhythmic motion as I climax. Adding to the experience is a firm inner core offering something for the body to grab hold of and cling to when things get all-consuming, as they often do when wielding something of this stature.

Baring a urethral opening, glans, corona, frenulum, and what appears to be a retracted forskin, it’s as close to a penis in appearance as a neon colored dildo could possibly get. More that than, with the exception of the slightly tacky feeling, the smooth yet matte texture is surprisingly skin like. I hate to reduce my ‘penis skills’ (yeah, I said it), but if the lights were off and I didn’t know better, I just might think it was the real thing. I said might.

With two raised ridges on the shaft, one highly distinguishable, the other not-so-much, Maverick offers lovely g-spot stimulation during gentle thrusting as each bump graces across the area causing an explosion of sensations. It’s not going to offer the same type of stimulation firmer toys like the Lelo Ella, Bent Graduate, Chavez Dezignz Jollie, or Njoy Pure Wand can, but what it provides is more than decent, and definitely enough to help achieve an orgasm.

This bad boy is thick, really thick. Okay, it’s not quite as bad as my dino friend, but it’s more than enough to fill me entirely. Like I’ve said before, I don’t really have an affection for the well endowed, more often than not finding the experience to be one that brings discomfort rather than delight, but Maverick is different… maybe it’s because it’s squishy and therefore eases in without much force. Maybe it’s because each time I use it I’m exhaustingly determined to follow through. Or maybe it’s because it’s badass, either way, different is definitely good.

Whether you want something to use in a harness, vaginally, for anal play, or to ride while it’s suction cupped to a surface, the large flared base grants pretty much anything your little heart could dream up, and does so quite well. My only suggestions, don’t stick it to a textured surface since it won’t stay put for long, anal play will likely require lots of lube to make things more comfortable, and with a weight of just over 16 oz, make sure your harness is snug since the heft might pull it down a bit.

I know I keep touching on it, but in a market flooded with various shades of pink, blue, pastel, and purples, the vivid neon color is a welcome change of pace. Even more flattering is the stunning opalescent creamy base, complete with turquoise swirls and a sheen that’s truly breathtaking. I’d actually love to see a full dildo with that coloring, I think it would be quite the sight.

Having said that, I’ve found Maverick is at its best when viewed under UV/Black lights, taking on a pale greenish blue hue that’s no less than mesmerizing. Sure, many people probably don’t have them readily available in their home, but the purchase of one bulb will take the experience from wow to WHOA!  Just don’t go cheap on the bulb, otherwise the effect will likely get washed out. I’d suggest an 18″ bulb w/ fixture kit, you can get them starting at $9.99, which is more than reasonable.

Almost everything they make is surprisingly flexible and resistant to tearing, ripping or peeling, offering a longer lifespan than many other lesser quality products, and unlike other manufacturers, i.e. big mass producers of the jelly garbage you see in most stores, Vixen Creations offers a lifetime replacement guarantee on their goods.  Of course this doesn’t actually have anything to do with using them, but knowing that they stand behind their products to this extent fills me with confidence.

Stats: With such impressive stats Maverick is nothing to take lightly… in total your looking at just under 8″ inches in length, 7 of which are fully insertable, a diameter of 2″ inches, and a girthy circumference of 6″ inches. Compared to the T-Rex, another dildo that was significantly challenging for me,  it’s an inch longer, however the pliability of the silicone mixed with the one inch difference in girth, makes a world of difference where usability is concerned.

vixen creations maverick

length comparison

Neon Green Silicone Maverick Dildo

flexible body

Vixen Creations Neon Dildo

squishy tip

Maverick Dildo Packaging

packaging

Care & Cleaning

Because it’s a high quality silicone, and not some shady mix of silicone and who-knows-what, it can be easily cleaned with soap and water or by boiling for 3 minutes. Regarding lubes I’d only suggest a good water based lube as a silicone one would likely ruin it over time.

vixen creations Maverick

The Bad

As discussed earlier, it’s large… making it a product that will likely be too large for some. For me it was a bit much, but once relaxed and fully engaged, I found it to be most pleasing. If you still think it might be too large my suggestion is to go for the Mustang instead; it’s a half inch smaller, in both girth and length, which may make it far more comfortable. Don’t worry, it also comes in Florescent colors and various skin tones for those that want a more ‘realistic’ option. If you want the same quality, don’t mind a skin tone, but want something even smaller, go for Tex. It’s just as good but without the fun colors.

It attracts lint, but you knew that was coming. Meh, it’s not that big of a deal and doesn’t really interfere with performance, it’s just a pet peeve issue… one I’m working on with an over priced therapist. <- kidding, with all the time/money I spend on sex toys I don’t have anything left over for “real” therapy.

Because of the matte and slightly tacky texture you’ll need a fair amount to lubricant or the drag on the skin will likely be uncomfortable, leaving much to be desired. Basically put, do both yourself and Maverick a favor, and lube up.

Along with being large it’s also got a surprising amount of weight behind it, making maneuverability a bit of a challenge. Having said that it’s not necessarily a downfall, just something to keep in mind.

Final Verdict

When I first got my hands on Maverick I was admittedly a little intimidated, but with the size, coloring and weight, how could I not be? I mean shit, everything combined makes it a pretty intense product, let alone an experience. Yet looking back now, knowing everything I do, I can’t help but chastise myself for being so silly; Maverick, in all it’s glory, is a dildo I’ve come to adore – nay, embrace – because it’s everything I want… and then some. Power Girl would be impressed!

To get more info, or to get your hands on a Vixen Creations product of your own, check out one of my all time fave online shops, SheVibe, where you’ll likely find yourself spending countless hours going through the incredible cartoon like graphics on the site… and hopefully buying something worthy in the process.

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Review: Star Delight Frosted Dildo

Crystal Delights Swarovski Frosted Dildo

Two years ago I was sent two very shiny, sparkly and beautiful items by a company I absolutely love, Crystal Delights, which contrary to their appearance, were designed to be used in the most surprising of ways.

With my love of the items being hard to miss, the folks at the company asked if I’d like to try another set of their creations; a Frosted Plug and a Frosted Dildo respectively. Of course I couldn’t say no, that would just be silly. So here I am, following up my Frosted Plug Review with my take on the Frosted Dildo… I gotta say, it’s in a league of its own, and pretty damn stunning to boot!

*You can find the original video review for my first two plugs here.

Packaging

Unlike many other companies the Frosted Dildo arrived without a box, instead being safely cradled in a lovely padded fabric sachet and wrapped in lots of tissue. There was nothing on the fabric to say what the product was, nor was there anything that could cause embarrassment should someone find it. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if the nosy person prying into your business thought it was an expensive piece of art rather than an intimate accessory. Whether it’s the packing or the product itself, everything Crystal Delights does is definitely discreet.

The fabric was a wonderfully smooth beautiful black material with a metallic damask design and quilted black lining. After flipping it inside out I came to see that even the bag was well made with quite a bit of attention paid to the quality – no loose strings, no holes and relatively thick stitching.  If you didn’t want to use the bag for storage of the product, instead opting to leave it out as an art piece (not such a far fetched an idea with a product this stunning) you could easily use it to store other things, whether they’re sex toy related or not.

The Goods

Frosted Glass Dildo

lovely bulbous head

I usually know exactly what I’m going to write when it comes to a product I love, without hesitation the words fly onto the page like my fingers have wings, but in this case, I’m surprisingly left grounded…  and the truth is, I don’t really know why; the glass is luxurious, hand crafted and wonderfully textured, the sensations provided by the shaft are incredible, and the powder blue Swarovski Crystal gleams and sparkles beautifully… it’s a work of art, one that’s apparently left me rather speechless.

Regardless of my current state of mind, the following benefits and features speak volumes for why I love it so…

  • Thanks to the tapered head insertion is surprisingly comfortable, and with the addition of a good lube, damn near effortless, gliding in and filling the area perfectly. Just keep in mind that the bulbous design really makes itself known during thrusting, with the rounded curves sliding across the g-spot and out of the body with ease, adding the slightest of pressure and most wonderful sensations of fullness in the process.
  • Since glass has the ability to retain temperatures very well, it’s a pretty great option for varying sensations and engaging in temperature play. For those that really don’t like the feeling of something cool/cold entering them, simply holding it in your hands for a few moments, placing it in a bowl of warm water, or wrapping it in a warm/damp cloth before getting started will make a world of difference. *keep in mind I said warm, not hot.
  • As expected there’s no ‘squish’ or ‘give’ duh it’s glass and the shaft, while rippled with lovely bumps, is sleek and smooth, with a slight bit of texture that lends itself well to the experience (trust me, you can feel it), whether used anally or vaginally

    star frosted delight

    wonderfully bumpy shaft

  • On that note, the light pressure each bump creates coupled with the texturing is beyond extraordinary, especially during gentle thrusting, twirling, or while twisting back and forth. The feeling is indescribable… the best I can do is to say it’s like having your g-spot softly massaged by finger pads that know exactly where you like it most.
  • Aside from being compatible with any kind of lubricant, it also doesn’t require very much, saving you money in the long run. Trust me on this, a little goes a very long way when it comes to lubes and glass toys.
  • For those with sensitivities or allergies to latex, plastic, cyberskin or any of the other materials most pleasure products are made of, you shouldn’t have to worry as glass is hypo allergenic, hygienic, non toxic and non-porous, while also being phthalate and latex free.

As for the stats and specifics…

frosted swarovski dildo

wet vs dry

Like the previous plug I was sent, it’s not clear, instead appearing a foggy white that becomes close to transparent upon contact with any kind of fluid (pictured right). It’s this finish that gives it a textured feel while still being wonderfully smooth. 

For those that prefer length over girth, the dildo measures 6.9″ inches in total length, with only 5.9″ inches of that meant for insertion.  The head of the product is slightly larger than the shaft offering just under 5″ inches in circumference at its thickest. The shaft measures 3 3/4″  inches in circumference at it’s thinnest, and around 4″ inches around the bumps. The wide flared base allows for use anally if desired, while also acting as a handle during vaginal use.

Like every other Crystal Delights product I’ve received the surface of the Swarovski Crystal was smooth with no jagged edges, sharp points or cracks, no chips, bleeding of colors, nor any looseness… it’s definitely stuck in place (I’ve tried to pull them out of every one I’ve received, so far no luck, but many a chipped nail).

flash vs no flash

As for the actual Swarovski Crystal, it’s beyond breathtaking!

Being that the previous versions I received were all pink, or some version of it, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect with the powder blue, yet true to form the light opalescent blue shone and sparkled even in dim lighting, offering hints of green, yellow, purple, turquoise, and pink with the most stunning holographic effect. Honestly, the pictures I took just don’t do it justice, instead sadly making it look much duller than it is… trust me, it’s far from dull.

Quick Side Note

One of the questions I’m very often asked in regard to dildos is how they’re meant to be used, as in – how do I get myself off from something that doesn’t vibrate?

Here’s my answer: while it may surprise many of you statistics show that over 70% of women require clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm and no matter how hard they try, thrusting, insertion, the feeling of fullness or the g-spot play some dildos provide will simply not be enough. In fact, many women find they need to combine clitoral play with internal stimulation or intercourse to reach the big “O”. If this seems odd please know its normal, natural and nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Having said that, if you find that the stimulation these types of products provide just isn’t enough you may want to try something different the next time you’re in need of a fix.

Frosted Glass Dildo

girth

length comparison

dildo in pouch

wrapped up

Care & Cleaning

Since it’s virtually non porous, and therefore wont absorb bodily fluids, lube or bacteria,  you don’t have to worry about heavy cleaning; just give it a good wash with antibacterial soap and make sure to rinse it well. For the base (where the crystal is embedded) I’d suggest using a soft toothbrush to get into the area where the crystal meets the glass.

When it comes to cleaning the pouch you can simply give it a wash in cold water and line dry it. As for the material you’re looking at an outer layer of 60% Rayon/40% Polyester and an internal lining of 100% Nylon.

The Bad

While there wasn’t anything to complain about there were a couple things I did want to mention as they may be an issue for some of you when it comes to the level of comfort you experience:

powder blue beauty

Because it’s a glass product with no squish or give you may want to be careful of any forceful deep thrusting as it might be painful and bruise the cervix (the same can be said for any hard plastic, wood, metal or other glass products).

Finally, because glass is very slippery when used with lubricant (or natural bodily fluids) you may want to be sure to grip the product tightly – very easily it slipped out of my hand on two occasions.

Final Verdict

I’ve been a fan of glass products for quite some time, finding them to offer some of the best qualities around. Having said that, the Frosted Dildo by Crystal Delights is no exception; it’s perfect for vaginal or anal use, sports a textured and bumpy shaft that offers some seriously amazing sensations and stimulation, is a nice size for those that like length over girth, has a bulbous head offering an easy insertion and variety of sensations, while also being non porous, hygienic, hypoallergenic and non toxic… everything considered it’s one hell of a creation!

If you’re looking for a product that’s luxurious, unique, beautiful, and designed to truly make you feel special, you might just want to splurge and buy yourself something lovely. Go on, you deserve it.

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Review: Chavez Designs ~ Jollie

Jollie Dildo

arts ‘n crafts meets pleasure object

After recently obtaining the newest addition to my collection, a fuzzy polka dot filled Jollie, I came realize that when it came to the vast majority of sex toys, I’ve thrown around the words “amazing g-spot stimulation” probably more often than I should.

Yes, there are some that have brought on mind boggling orgasms, the Bent Graduate, Je Joue G-Ki, Lelo Ella, Fun Factory DeLight, and Diving Nun being a handful of them, but for the most part there are few others, in my opinion, that are able to target the area with such precision, time and time again, so effortlessly, that they’re worthy of the claim. In retrospect I can’t help but to wonder, what the hell was I thinking?!

Big thanks to the lovely folks over at Chavez Dezignz for helping me to finally get my hands on one of these badass beauties!  You guys are amazing, my vagina and g-spot thank you!

Packaging

There’s no bells or whistles here. No cardboard boxes or cheap plastic clamshell packages. No scantily clad women or men, and no tacky descriptions. Definitely no product info or half assed marketing scheme. When it comes to the packaging, what you see is basically what you get, as each of their creations comes placed inside a clear plastic baggie, with nothing but a pretty little bow to accompany it.

While some may see this as cheap, I find it a very nice change of pace. No packaging means no unnecessary garbage, no need for concern should someone else get their hands on it, and no b.s. It’s eco-friendly, cost effective, cute and far more personal. Maybe it’s just me but it gives the impression that someone, rather than a big corporation, put some time, thought and care into what they were sending my way. Not a machine, not a conveyor belt, not a factory, but instead an actual person, and in a market where little touches are few and far between, that counts for something.

Deluxe Jollie by Chavez Dezignz

ergonomic handle

The Good

Let it be known that this is not a ‘thrusting’ object, quite the opposite actually; the Jollie is at it’s best when inserted and left in place while being ground upon, with the fullness, pressure on the g-spot, and depth of sensations offered acting as the essence of the experience. Sure, you could thrust it, but doing so would likely leave you wanting, waiting and disappointed. Don’t do that to the Jollie, it doesn’t deserve it.

As for the many other benefits and features…

  • With a curved body that graduates in diameter and circumference, the Jollie delivers a feeling of fullness that’s hard to match. More than that, the raised and slightly thicker middle portion offers exceptionally comfortable and redonkulously pleasurable g-spot stimulation, while the gentle bumps on the handle offer an added sensation where clitoral stimulation is concerned. This of course shouldn’t be surprising being that it’s made anatomically from the inside of a female subject. How they did that I have no clue, but damn, it certainly worked out well!
  • The silicone is supple, thick, smooth and firm, with a very slight bit of squish and give, allowing for insertion to be a highly gratifying experience. As an added bonus, the sensation of vaginal contractions around the shaft (during orgasm) were overwhelmingly intense. Again, I’m pretty sure the shape aided well with this as it fit like a hand to a glove.
Deluxe Jollie with Puff Balls

puff balls!

  • Being that most females require clitoral stimulation to get off, the Jollie’s shape makes the inclusion of other methods fairly easy to incorporate; the small loop in the handle is great for holding a larger sized bullet or thin vibe, while the rounded end cups most hand held wands surprisingly well (I tested mine with a Hitachi Magic Wand and Fairy Wand). On that note, unlike other dildos sporting either a flared or flat base, the end of the Jollie is curved allowing the fingers to fall in place almost instantly when the handle is employed.
  • Each product made by the company is crafted out of 100% silicone that’s virtually non-porous, hypoallergenic, hygienic, non-toxic and phthalate/latex free. Body safe toys for the win!
  • For those that like the idea of customization, and don’t mind paying a little more for it, be it sparkles, stars, puff balls, stickers, barbie shoes (yes I did just say BARBIE SHOES!!!), or otherwise, the folks at Chavez Dezignz are more than willing to discuss the option of making one that is totally unique. Though I will admit, it was the puff balls that got me, can we say instant love?! I think we can.
  • Finally, something I probably should have started with, each product they create is handcrafted. For some of you this probably wont garner much attention, but for me, someone who likes supporting those that do something they love, while also trying to forage their way though a market filled with less than honorable manufacturers, the fact that each one is hand poured and potentially crafted to your specifications counts for something.  I can’t help but feel better giving them my dollar than a manufacturer that’s just going to use it to continue making shitty jelly products or prey on consumers who don’t know better.

Regarding the actual measurements you’re looking at a total length of 9″ inches, with an insertable length of around 6″ inches, the first smaller portion has a circumference of 5″ inches, that graduates up to 6 1/4″ inches at the fullest and slides back down to 5″ inches just before the handle starts.

Jollie Deluxe

front view

gently ribbed handle

back view

simple packaging

Care & Cleaning

When it comes to keeping your Jollie good as new I’d suggest only using water based lubes as a silicone version would likely ruin it. As for cleaning you can simply give it a good wash with soap and water, being that it’s crafted out of high quality silicone it wont need the same attention a lower class product would require. If you’re like me and can’t stand lint, I’d suggest you wrap it in a lint free piece of fabric or keep it inside the plastic baggie it comes it while not in use.

size comparison

The Bad

Regarding my dislikes, or issues with the product I think some may have, there were a few, though I don’t think they’ll be a concern for everyone;

It attracts lint. So do most silicone products… and even though I know that it’s still a pet peeve of mine.

Being that it’s rather thick it may be too large for some. Having said that, if you like girth over length, it should be a very welcome addition. I personally loved it!

Due to the texture of the silicone, shape, and size, it may be somewhat difficult to insert without being totally lubricated.  Having said that, for as aroused as I was I found there needed to be additional lube or it created an uncomfortable drag on the skin that made me tense, creating a situation where I didn’t think I’d be able to take it. Once lube was added and it was fully inserted, AMAZING!

If you like thrusting this may not be the product for you since using it that way doesn’t do it the justice it deserves. If on the other hand you enjoy inserting products and basically leaving them to do their thing, while you busy yourself with clitoral stimulation (or whatever else gets you off), don’t hesitate. The experience was far beyond what I expected, in every good way possible.

For those that like to have uninterrupted clitoral stimulation, be it with a vibe, fingers or orally, while something else is inserted, the handle may get in the way. If you’re clever you can find a way to incorporate it into the experience (adding a vibe to the loop in the handle, using the handle to hold a thicker vibe in place against the body, or pressing a vibe directly against the Jollie to diffuse very strong vibrations are all great ideas). Of course if you’d like to avoid that all together you could opt to get a Jollet, which is essentially a Jollie minus the handle, but equally as badass.

girthy s.o.b

Finally, they’re not cheap. Well not the fun puff ball, heart filled Valentine, customized, or pretty sparkle versions anyways. If you want a Deluxe they’ll run you around $200.00. Fortunately there is the original Jollie available in 6 different colors for $100.00. In all honestly the additional elements of the Deluxe don’t affect the experience in any way when it comes to sensations, so if you don’t mind having a solid color over fun puff balls you’re in luck (or you could get an original solid Jollie and Jollet for just under the price of a Deluxe. It’s a win/win situation).

Final Verdict

Oh Deluxe Jollie, how I love thee! From the smooth and firm silicone to the adorable, fun little puff balls held within, this perfectly designed dildo is far beyond the scope of what’s currently available. Both design and appearance are beyond different, but in this case, different is most definitely good! Not only does it target the g-spot with precision, add a sensation of fullness that’s hard to match, but the basic features helped me to reach some of the strongest and most enjoyable orgasms I’ve ever had. Seriously, it’s beyond revolutionary, and that my friends, is priceless.

If you’re looking for a new pleasure object, one that’s innovative, original, body safe, quality, highly pleasurable and definitely worth every penny, you’ll want to consider adding a Jollie to your collection. Trust me, your vagina/g-spot will thank you for it later.

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