Archive | June, 2009

Sex Ed 102 Product Review: The Original Bathmate Penis Pump

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I’ve been asked time and time again about penis pumps and if they really do work. With that in mind, I thought I’d finally do a video on one product that I stand behind and support 100% (because I’ve seen and heart about positive results first hand from friends and partners), the original Bathmate penis pump.

Before I suggest it I want to make it clear that very rarely would I ever support a penis pump, as I believe that you have what you were born with and you just need to work with it. Having said that, I know far too well that no matter what I say, many go out and buy a pump anyways and if you’re going to do that, you might as well get one that works and is worth the money!

Please keep in mind that results are TEMPORARY. For what it is, it works and works well, but it is NOT permanent (unless you use it consistently over a long period of time).

What is a Penis Pump?

A penis pump is a device designed to help those with a penis achieve and maintain an erection by creating a vacuum around the penis, increasing blood flow to the area. It consists of a cylinder that fits over the penis, a pump (either manual or battery-powered), and a vacuum seal. When the air inside the cylinder is removed using the pump, the vacuum causes blood to be drawn into the penis, leading to an erection. Penis pumps are often used as a treatment for erectile dysfunction (ED), but they can also be used to temporarily increase the size of the penis during sexual activity or as part of a penis enlargement routine.

After pumping, a tension ring or cock ring can be placed at the base of the penis to help maintain the erection during intercourse. Penis pumps are generally safe when used correctly and can be an effective, non-invasive solution for those experiencing erectile issues. However, proper usage and moderation are essential to avoid injury or discomfort.

The Good

The Bathmate penis pump stands out as a high-quality and innovative product in the realm of penis enhancement. Designed with a focus on performance, safety, and user comfort, it uses water-based vacuum technology to help achieve stronger and fuller erections.

Unlike traditional air pumps, the water-based system allows for more even pressure distribution, which significantly reduces the risk of discomfort or injury, making it ideal for both beginners and experienced users. The pump is also made from durable, body-safe materials, ensuring long-lasting use while promoting better sexual health.

What truly sets the Bathmate apart is the noticeable results in both erection quality and potential gains in size with regular use. Many users have reported increased confidence and satisfaction in their intimate experiences. It’s easy to integrate into a daily routine, whether in the shower or bath, and the user-friendly design ensures a hassle-free experience.

Overall, the Bathmate penis pump is an excellent investment for those seeking a reliable, effective, and comfortable solution to enhance their sexual performance.

The Bad

While penis pumps can be effective for enhancing erections or managing erectile dysfunction, there are some potential drawbacks to keep in mind. Over-pumping or using the device for too long can lead to discomfort, bruising, or even damage to the blood vessels in the penis. It’s important to follow the manufacturer’s guidelines and use the pump in moderation to avoid these issues. Additionally, if a tension ring is used after pumping, it should not be left on for more than 20-30 minutes, as this can restrict blood flow and lead to long-term damage. Anyone with certain medical conditions, such as blood disorders, should consult a healthcare professional before using a penis pump to ensure it’s safe for their specific needs.

Looking to buy a Bathmate of your own? Here’s a list of my favourite stores that carry them. Feel free to shop around to make sure you’re getting the best deals and sales; Pinkcherry, SheVibe, Babeland, and SexToy(dot)Com. Or, you can buy a Bathmate straight from the manufacturer on the Bathmate Direct website.

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Q&A with Kara_Sutra: How Do I Handle Peer Pressure?

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Question:

I recently starting “talking dirty” with my boyfriend of 3 months because he kept asking me to. At first I thought it was fun and it even turned me on, I liked doing it, but now he’s saying things that make me feel like what I’m doing is bad or wrong. He keeps saying that I’m “making” him do things he doesn’t want to and that it’s my fault because he can’t help himself. I thought he was kidding, but then he tried to use it against me and say that “since we went that far, having sex is the next step“. I’m not sure I’m ready but he’s making me feel guilty! What should I do? Is it really all my fault? Should I have sex with him?

Please help if you can.

Guilty as Sin

Answer:

Dear Guilty as Sin,

Whether over the phone or online “talking dirty” is a fantastic way for a couple to interact sexually without actually having sex before they’re ready. Not only can it be a wonderful way of learning what your partners likes or dislikes are, what they are comfortable with, and how far they are willing to go, but it’s also great for or exploring sexual chemistry without being at risk of STI’s or an unintended pregnancy.

That said, you shouldn’t feel guilty or ashamed of anything you’ve done. You chose to speak the way you did because you were curious about it and felt comfortable enough with him to explore that part of yourself. You’re allowed that.

As for the comment that you “made him” jerk off, I just want to clear one thing up… no, you didn’t. He masturbated because he CHOOSE to. You weren’t there and therefor weren’t able to put his hands on himself. You didn’t make him move them the way he likes. And you certainly didn’t control whether or not he had an orgasm. He choose all of those actions and for him to say you “made him” do it is not only factually incorrect, it’s disrespectful, manipulative, and immature. More than that, it lacks personal accountability on his part.

At any given time he could have changed the subject or stopped himself, but he didn’t. That was his choice. He has no right to use it against you or as an attempt to make you feel guilty. You don’t deserve that kind of treatment.

On that note, what you did wasn’t wrong, bad, or shameful in any way. And regardless of your intentions, I want for you to know that his behaviour after the fact – and during – are not your responsibility; we each have a choice in how we behave and handle situations. In my opinion, he’s handling this very poorly and that’s something that should be discussed so that it can be avoided in the future.

In regard to whether or not you should have sex with him that’s for you to decide. But I do want to point out that sex is a shared experience that we engage in for a variety of reasons. Be it love, respect, friendship, passion, comfort, understanding, desire, or any of the other reasons that people choose to connect – it should not be due to guilt or manipulation. So long as he is making you feel guilty, it’s not a good enough reason to ‘put out’. You deserve better then that.

How To Handle Peer Pressure

All of that said, handling peer pressure can be challenging, but it’s important to stay true to your values and make decisions that align with your own comfort and well-being. Here are a few key strategies that could help going forward:

Know Your Boundaries: Be clear about your personal limits and what you’re comfortable with. Knowing your values and boundaries makes it easier to say no when someone tries to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do.

Practice Saying No: It’s okay to say no, and no matter how much they may push, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Practice assertively but politely declining by using simple phrases like, “I’m not interested,” “That’s not for me.” or, “I just don’t want to, and that’s my decision to make”.

Plan Ahead: If you know you’re going to be in a situation where you might face pressure, think about how you’ll respond in advance. Having a plan gives you confidence and control.

Focus on Your Long-term Desires: Remind yourself of what’s important to you in the long run. Peer pressure often leads to short-term decisions that don’t benefit your future. Keep your personal goals and values at the forefront of your mind.

In the end, handling peer pressure is about knowing yourself and standing firm in your choices, even when it feels difficult. By setting clear boundaries and practicing assertiveness, you can navigate situations like these with confidence. Remember, it’s okay to say no and prioritize your own well-being. Trusting your instincts and staying true to your values will help you build resilience and make decisions that are right for you, both now and in the future.

Hopefully that helps

Kara_Sutra

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Sex Ed 102: Everything You Need To Know About 69’ing

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What is 69’ing?

69’ing is a sexual position where both partners engage in oral sex simultaneously, with each partner’s head positioned near the other’s genitals. The name “69” refers to how the two partners’ bodies align in a head-to-toe fashion, resembling the number 69. This position allows both partners to give and receive pleasure at the same time, creating a shared, intimate experience. For many, 69’ing can be an exciting way to enhance mutual pleasure, but like any sexual act, it comes with its own set of dynamics to consider for a more enjoyable experience.

How 69’ing Works

In the 69 position, one partner lies on their back while the other faces the opposite direction, with each partner’s genitals positioned near the other’s mouth. This allows both partners to perform oral sex on each other at the same time. There are a few variations to the position: one partner can lie on top of the other (often referred to as “stacked”), or both can lie on their sides for a more relaxed and balanced approach. The side-by-side version can often be easier to maintain, while the stacked version may allow for more control or deeper access, depending on preferences.

The simultaneous nature of the position is what sets 69’ing apart, offering a way for partners to experience mutual pleasure. However, it does require some coordination, as both partners need to stay engaged in giving and receiving stimulation simultaneously. Communication and attention to comfort are key, as maintaining balance and positioning can sometimes be tricky, depending on body size, height differences, and flexibility.

Tips for a Comfortable and Pleasurable Experience

To ensure an enjoyable experience with 69’ing, it’s important to focus on comfort and communication. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:

Love Yourself: Because this position puts the other person face-to-face with your genitals it can sometimes embarrassing, overwhelming, and uncomfortable, especially if you’re new to it, aren’t familiar with your own body, have shame, embarrassment, or insecurity around your genitals (don’t worry, that’s almost everyone).

My suggestion, do your best to learn about and love your body beforehand. Take the time necessary to become comfortable in your skin and trust that your partner likely doesn’t see all the faults you do. I know this can be hard for a lot of people, but it’s key to being able to let go and really enjoy yourself.

Positioning Matters: Experiment with different angles to find what feels most comfortable for both partners. The side-by-side version may work better if you prefer a more relaxed approach. For those that like playing with power dynamics, the stacked position can provide more intensity but may require more coordination. Just make sure you don’t rest all your weight on them. Suffocating isn’t fun. Also, make sure both partners feel comfortable and supported.

Focus on Mutual Pleasure: While the nature of 69’ing is all about simultaneous stimulation, it can sometimes be difficult to concentrate on both giving and receiving pleasure at the same time. It’s okay to switch your focus – one partner may slow down their efforts to better enjoy receiving, and then switch roles, ensuring a more pleasurable experience for both.

Communication is Key: As with any sexual activity, communication is vital. Let your partner know what feels good and be open to feedback. Small adjustments in position or pace can make a big difference in comfort and enjoyment.

Take Your Time: There’s no rush! While 69’ing is an exciting way to combine giving and receiving, you can always slow down or switch positions to focus entirely on one person at a time. Variety in rhythm and pace can keep the experience exciting and satisfying for both partners.

Be Adventurous : Don’t be afraid to let your tongue wander. You don’t have to stick to specific target areas (i.e. the clitoris or penis). Explore the entire vulva. Same goes for the balls, taint (space between balls and ass), and foreskin (if they have any).

Self Awareness Is Key : Very often when people orgasm there are uncontrollable muscle spasms, sometimes to the point of legs tensing like vice grips. If this is something that often happens to you, have a code word that lets your partner know you’re going to cum, that way they’ll have ample time to move and keep their head from getting squished between your thighs. On that note, be aware of your body and where your weight is landing. There’s nothing worse than being in the moment, totally enjoying yourself, only to find your partner yelling because you accidentally pulled their hair with the shifting of a knee.

Added Tips For Those With A Penis: If you’re well endowed be aware of how deep your thrusting, especially when on top and your partner has no where to back their head up to. Without meaning to you could hit their gag reflex, or accidentally choke them. Not everyone likes balls. If you’ve got a set and you’re the one on top, try to be aware of where they’re landing. For the person on the bottom, use your hand to keep them out of the way.

Remember, safe sex is the best sex. Use condoms and dental dams as necessary.

Quick Tips & Suggestions For A Good Time

If you’re the type that really enjoys oral sex, it may be rather difficult to concentrate on what you’re doing when your partner is busy at work between your legs. This can go for your partner as well. That said, don’t be disappointed if they keep losing focus or aren’t able to help you reach orgasm while in this position. Take it as a compliment that you’re doing a good job, and if they finish before you, ask them to help you out. Remember, unlike in the movies people don’t often orgasm at the same time.

I know good hygiene shouldn’t be something I need to cover, but 69ing often puts partners almost level with each others asses…. and while it’s a fetish (Olfactophilia), from the emails I receive I don’t think it’s something *everyone* is into. If you don’t want to offend your partner, should they not be into the ass smelling thing, washing up before would be a good idea.

Considering your mouths will likely be full most of the time, talking dirty or communicating your needs isn’t the easiest.

This isn’t the most comfortable position and can be rather awkward to get into and out of. Like I said earlier, be aware of your body and where parts are landing getting into and out of position. I’ve heard far too many tales of people being kneed in the face, squished, or elbowed by flailing limbs.

That’s pretty much all the advice I can offer. Hopefully it’ll help in some way. If you have any questions or are looking to share a story feel free to use the comments below.