Sex Ed 102: Everything You Need To Know About 69’ing

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What is 69’ing?

69’ing is a sexual position where both partners engage in oral sex simultaneously, with each partner’s head positioned near the other’s genitals. The name “69” refers to how the two partners’ bodies align in a head-to-toe fashion, resembling the number 69. This position allows both partners to give and receive pleasure at the same time, creating a shared, intimate experience. For many, 69’ing can be an exciting way to enhance mutual pleasure, but like any sexual act, it comes with its own set of dynamics to consider for a more enjoyable experience.

How 69’ing Works

In the 69 position, one partner lies on their back while the other faces the opposite direction, with each partner’s genitals positioned near the other’s mouth. This allows both partners to perform oral sex on each other at the same time. There are a few variations to the position: one partner can lie on top of the other (often referred to as “stacked”), or both can lie on their sides for a more relaxed and balanced approach. The side-by-side version can often be easier to maintain, while the stacked version may allow for more control or deeper access, depending on preferences.

The simultaneous nature of the position is what sets 69’ing apart, offering a way for partners to experience mutual pleasure. However, it does require some coordination, as both partners need to stay engaged in giving and receiving stimulation simultaneously. Communication and attention to comfort are key, as maintaining balance and positioning can sometimes be tricky, depending on body size, height differences, and flexibility.

Tips for a Comfortable and Pleasurable Experience

To ensure an enjoyable experience with 69’ing, it’s important to focus on comfort and communication. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:

Love Yourself: Because this position puts the other person face-to-face with your genitals it can sometimes embarrassing, overwhelming, and uncomfortable, especially if you’re new to it, aren’t familiar with your own body, have shame, embarrassment, or insecurity around your genitals (don’t worry, that’s almost everyone).

My suggestion, do your best to learn about and love your body beforehand. Take the time necessary to become comfortable in your skin and trust that your partner likely doesn’t see all the faults you do. I know this can be hard for a lot of people, but it’s key to being able to let go and really enjoy yourself.

Positioning Matters: Experiment with different angles to find what feels most comfortable for both partners. The side-by-side version may work better if you prefer a more relaxed approach. For those that like playing with power dynamics, the stacked position can provide more intensity but may require more coordination. Just make sure you don’t rest all your weight on them. Suffocating isn’t fun. Also, make sure both partners feel comfortable and supported.

Focus on Mutual Pleasure: While the nature of 69’ing is all about simultaneous stimulation, it can sometimes be difficult to concentrate on both giving and receiving pleasure at the same time. It’s okay to switch your focus – one partner may slow down their efforts to better enjoy receiving, and then switch roles, ensuring a more pleasurable experience for both.

Communication is Key: As with any sexual activity, communication is vital. Let your partner know what feels good and be open to feedback. Small adjustments in position or pace can make a big difference in comfort and enjoyment.

Take Your Time: There’s no rush! While 69’ing is an exciting way to combine giving and receiving, you can always slow down or switch positions to focus entirely on one person at a time. Variety in rhythm and pace can keep the experience exciting and satisfying for both partners.

Be Adventurous : Don’t be afraid to let your tongue wander. You don’t have to stick to specific target areas (i.e. the clitoris or penis). Explore the entire vulva. Same goes for the balls, taint (space between balls and ass), and foreskin (if they have any).

Self Awareness Is Key : Very often when people orgasm there are uncontrollable muscle spasms, sometimes to the point of legs tensing like vice grips. If this is something that often happens to you, have a code word that lets your partner know you’re going to cum, that way they’ll have ample time to move and keep their head from getting squished between your thighs. On that note, be aware of your body and where your weight is landing. There’s nothing worse than being in the moment, totally enjoying yourself, only to find your partner yelling because you accidentally pulled their hair with the shifting of a knee.

Added Tips For Those With A Penis: If you’re well endowed be aware of how deep your thrusting, especially when on top and your partner has no where to back their head up to. Without meaning to you could hit their gag reflex, or accidentally choke them. Not everyone likes balls. If you’ve got a set and you’re the one on top, try to be aware of where they’re landing. For the person on the bottom, use your hand to keep them out of the way.

Remember, safe sex is the best sex. Use condoms and dental dams as necessary.

Quick Tips & Suggestions For A Good Time

If you’re the type that really enjoys oral sex, it may be rather difficult to concentrate on what you’re doing when your partner is busy at work between your legs. This can go for your partner as well. That said, don’t be disappointed if they keep losing focus or aren’t able to help you reach orgasm while in this position. Take it as a compliment that you’re doing a good job, and if they finish before you, ask them to help you out. Remember, unlike in the movies people don’t often orgasm at the same time.

I know good hygiene shouldn’t be something I need to cover, but 69ing often puts partners almost level with each others asses…. and while it’s a fetish (Olfactophilia), from the emails I receive I don’t think it’s something *everyone* is into. If you don’t want to offend your partner, should they not be into the ass smelling thing, washing up before would be a good idea.

Considering your mouths will likely be full most of the time, talking dirty or communicating your needs isn’t the easiest.

This isn’t the most comfortable position and can be rather awkward to get into and out of. Like I said earlier, be aware of your body and where parts are landing getting into and out of position. I’ve heard far too many tales of people being kneed in the face, squished, or elbowed by flailing limbs.

That’s pretty much all the advice I can offer. Hopefully it’ll help in some way. If you have any questions or are looking to share a story feel free to use the comments below.