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Anal Sex Tips for Beginners

Butt Play, Good Guides, The Written Word

The discomfort you may encounter during first time anal sex could be minimum or very intense depending on how relaxed you are. It’s for this reason that I created these anal sex tips, all designed to help make things a bit more comfortable and fun.

Anal Sex Tips For Beginners

Take Your Time & Relax

I personally suggest taking some time to warm up before engaging in full anal penetration; do some relaxing breathing exercises, meditate if need be, and get comfortable with your partner.

Once you’re relaxed and feel ready, get out the lube and apply a large amount to your butt hole. Once lubed up take a finger or a lube shooter and use it to insert some internally. This will allow for easier penetration and once inserted, much less friction. When I say a lot I mean A LOT! Don’t be stingy, unlike the vagina, the anus does not self lubricate, so the more you apply the better.

Remember, the more relaxed you are more relaxed your muscles will be, which will allow for the proper insertion of a toy, finger or penis with less discomfort.

After you’ve added the lube, add a finger and just a finger; the anus has a very tight opening and trying to insert a penis can be a shock to the system. Going too fast too soon can cause you to tense up, leading to a painful experience rather then a enjoyable one. If you’re not careful and don’t listen to your body there can be tearing of the sphincter and/or rectum. By using a finger you prep the body, stretch the muscles, and allow the yourself (or the receiver) to get used to the feeling.

Once the finger is inserted, have your partner leave it there for about a minute or so. Don’t tell them to thrust or move it around… just insert it and leave it. This will allow you and your body to get used to the feeling and relax the muscles.

Go Slow & Start Small

When you feel ready slowly remove the finger and move onto a toy or your partner. I personally suggest using a toy that’s between the size of your finger and your partners penis, this will give you the opportunity to work up to something larger with minimal discomfort.

Any of the Tantus Silk products (small, medium, or large) are amazing options as there’s limited texturing, a round base to keep them from going too far in, and a flexible body to make them totally comfortable.

When it comes to penetration, start thrusting gently, if it makes it easier for you do it doggy style. Have your partner on their knees staying as still as they can. Then take control and back up onto it. This may make it easier for you to take it as you’re the one determining how far it gets inserted and at what speed. The human body is an amazing thing and it’s quite astounding how much it will endure when you put your mind to it.

Finally, be gentle and go slow. I know that we all see the people of porn taking it like champs, but they are trained professionals. It’s what they do for a living and in most cases, have been doing for quite some time. You unfortunately are not a porn star and anyone who believes you can take a pounding the first time is grandly mistaken.

**One more thing, NEVER go from anus to vagina, or anus to mouth, doing this can lead to vaginal infections like bacterial vaginosis, yeast infections, E coli, or intestinal parasites.

Toys & Products Worth The Investment

Quality silicone toys like the ones Tantus makes are definitely worth the money. They’re phthalate free, latex free, wont absorb any bacteria, can be cleaned in a large number of ways, are hypo allergenic, hygienic, and perfectly safe for anal use. Even better, the flared bases on all Tantus toys make them perfect for anal play.

A very good quality silicone lubricant. Silicone is very slippery, compatible with latex, and requires very little reapplying; something I’d highly suggest for anal sex. Just keep in mind that if you’re going to be using a silicone lube use it only for actual intercourse, not for use with a silicone toy as it might ruin it.

Condoms, I always stress safe sex even with anal play, you may not be able to get pregnant from anal but you can get an STD. Not to mention that if you have your fill (no pun intended) with anal sex and want to have vaginal it’s easier to just take the condom off, put on a new one, and get back to business. Otherwise they’ll have to stop, bathe their penis, put on a condom, and start over again. If you’re wondering about the bathing part, those with a penis can also get urinary tract infections.

It’s my goal to make sex a safe, fun and enjoyable experience for everyone. Hopefully these anal sex tips have allowed you to become more comfortable and knowledgeable, while also easing some of the things you may encounter as a beginner.

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The Worlds Most Expensive Sex Toys

#FunFindFriday, Features, Gift Giving Ideas

Last night while searching online for new and innovative products, I happened to come across a few that took my breath away. Being that I see toys every day that isn’t something that happens often…

From toys plated in 14k gold to crystal encrusted vibrators, I just couldn’t believe my eyes. While they do serve the same functions as “regular” adult toys, it’s the appearance and price of these toys that makes them so astounding.

Jimmyjane Little Gold $325.00

Crafted of opulent 24K gold, the virtually silent Little Gold features one powerful speed that thrums at a low, rumbling frequency, and a slender profile that will take it anywhere you want it to go — and the motor is replaceable, making this a toy you will love and cherish for life.

The Jimmyjane line of sex toys is favored by the Hollywood crowd for good reason: impeccable crafting, luxury designs, waterproof fun and a quiet, replaceable motor.

Phallix Multi-Section G-spot $399.99

Solid Pyrex inside & out, the multi-colored glass g-spot shaft is constructed in 5 separate sections. 3D looking artwork runs seamlessly throughout the glass with an emphasis on both beauty and durability. Each Phallix glass product is hand crafted by artisans to not only be visually stunning, but also highly unique, so unique that no two are alike.

Limited Ed. Rose Quartz Crystal £1,275

Shiri Zinn has designed a double-sided dildo made of solid crystal blue and black color glass encrusted with 60 Swarovski crystals.

This is a handcrafted piece stamped with limited edition number and has an artist’s signature. This sex toy also comes with an engraved sterling silver stand made by Monte Carlo Grand Prix trophy makers.

Earl by Lelo $2,590.00

Superior craftsmanship and a stylish control ring make this incomparable male stimulator a pleasure to hold, and a joy to release. Sculpted from Stainless Steel, the Earl offers discreet excitement and exceptional internal sensations.

Hygienic, stylish and ready for play. Earls smooth glossy finish is designed to reflect sheer luxury. With a ring for full control of the sensual experience, you should have no trouble enjoying this pleasure object. Use Earl as you wish, whether it be with a partner for added enjoyment or as a secret companion alone.

Lelo Yva $2,890

Yva is an elegant pleasure objet d’art, handcrafted in stainless steel or 18K gold-plate, with a deep and resonant vibe. The metal, luxurious and evocative against the naked skin, offers exciting prospects for users inclined to the sensual utilization of hot or cold.

A perfect accessory for that dressy but boring party, YVA is small, rechargeable and exceedingly quiet. Comes included with wooden gift box, universal charger, manual, satin pouch and a 1-year LELO warranty.

La Belle Epoque 18k Gold Cock Ring £4, 500

When Cock Rings are the order of the day, we at La Belle Époque are strongly of the belief that our exquisite Cock Rings are the cream of the crop.

La Belle Époque’s Cock Rings are the finest looking Gentleman’s Cock Rings the world has ever seen. Their design is above all others, a masterpiece of classical minimalism. Simplicity is what shines through. La Belle Époque’s precious SW3 is made of 18k pure gold, hand fashioned into the purest form of the Cock Ring.

Diamond Studded Silver Vibe $5,122.36

Created by Crowned Jewels Limited, this vibe is lavishly hand made from solid sterling silver and finished with encrusted diamonds. Being produced from precious metal not only enhances the luxury of these products but also gives them hypoallergenic status and makes them 95% recyclable.

This is the only product of its kind to have the purity of its materials certified with a hallmark from the London Assay Office. Diamonds truly are a girls best friend and one you won’t mind her sleeping with!

RealDoll Sex Dolls $5,999.00

RealDoll sex dolls could easily be called the Corvettes of the sex doll industry. With their life like poses, texture, choice in facial expressions, custom wigs, optional tan lines, varying breast size and 3 “usable” holes these dolls have pretty much anything a customer could want! To make it even better RealDoll now makes optional elf ears (we all have our own fantasies), eyebrow and eye upgrades, custom skin tones (even an Avatar one!) and a long anticipated Shemale doll! While the product may seem weird I can only assume it sure beats the sticky feel of the traditional vinyl blow up dolls.

Lelo Inez Vibrator $7,900.00

LELO, a Swedish based company, designs and manufactures the world’s best pleasure objects. All materials are always top-quality, with a no-expense-barred philosophy. The Inez is discreetly sized yet its ergonomic curves are lusciously coated in either 18k gold or stainless steel. These precious metals encourage you to explore your desires, inviting you to experiment with the heightened pleasures of temperature variance.

Victor Phantasm Dildo £35,500

The Victor Phantasm dildo is crafted from the very finest 142grams of 18 carat gold that money can buy. The Victor Phantasm like all the Victor models is a masterpiece of erotic design; the flowing curves of Phantasm’s undulating body perfectly capture the essence of feminine eroticism like never before. Phantasm is a pure and unadulterated celebration of human sensuality.

Adorned with 27 D/VVS diamonds with a total weight of 1.63 carats. The Victor Phantasm dildo is the ultimate erotic indulgence for a high society Lady looking to own the finest diamond studded sex toy. A diamond truly is a girl’s best friend, but with Phantasm to hand you get 27 best friends.

Jet Set w/ JimmyJane $35,000

This little diddy includes a private jet with 4 hours of flight time for you and up to 3 of your closest friends on an Embraer Phenom 100. You also get a customized Zero Halliburton Flight Case containing a FORM 2, FORM 3, FORM 4, FORM 6 and LITTLE STEEL. Travel amenities include goodies from Sir Richard’s Condoms to a WINK Blindfold and Sleep Mask, everything you’ll need to arrive safely and well rested.

In-Flight Entertainment comes complete with Emmanuelle on screen (opening scene: she enjoys her own “in-flight entertainment”), and Treats! magazine, right where the SkyMall used to be. Instead of an inflight meal you get peanuts and almonds, macadamias, pistachios, champagne and Gummy Bears. Also, a set of Jimmyjane Wings to commemorate your journey.

Colin Burn: $1,000,000 Vibe

As Colin Burn, himself puts it “A lavish vibrator cast in solid platinum, embellished with over 1,000 sparkling white diamonds, royal blue sapphires, lustrous South Sea pearls and the finest pink diamonds on the planet.” I think that says it all.

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Sex Ed 102: Everything You Need To Know About Diaphragms

Contraception, Good Guides, Safer Sex, STD Information & Prevention

As you all know I’m a big supporter of safe sex! You know, the kind that leaves you free of worries about an unintended pregnancy or possible transmission of an STD. As such, I hope this page gives you the insight you need to help find a method of protection that’s right for you.

What is a diaphragm?

The diaphragm is a dome shaped cup with a flexible rim. It’s made of silicone or latex and is designed to stop sperm from entering the uterus and fallopian tubes in order to prevent an unintended pregnancy. To be more specific, it’s a reversible barrier method of birth control.

I personally suggest silicone because it lasts longer, is easy to care for, and won’t absorb odors, bodily fluids, or bacteria. The other reason I suggest silicone is that it is latex free, so for those of you that have latex allergies, or for those of you not sure if you have a latex allergy, it’s a good option.

Where can I get a diaphragm ?

Unfortunately you’re not able to buy them at a store or online like condoms. Instead, you need to get fitted for one by your health care provider to make sure that it’s the right size for your body and won’t allow any room for sperm to pass.

During your fitting your health care provider should show you how to use it properly and allow you to practice in the office, checking once inserted, to make sure you did it correctly.

If they don’t offer, please know there is nothing to be embarrassed about and you have every right to ask. The effectiveness of any birth control method always stands in using it perfectly. That said, it’s always better to be safe then sorry.

When it comes to using your diaphragm there are a few things that I suggest:

Always make sure your hands are clean before handling it, you don’t want to transfer any bacteria which could cause an infection.

Hold your diaphragm up to a light or place a small amount of water in it to check for cracks or holes before use, if you do find any don’t use it.

If you’re using a silicone diaphragm do not use a silicone lubricant and make sure your hands are free of any silicone as it may break down the product.

If you’re using a latex diaphragm do not use an oil based product and make sure your hands are free of anything that may cause the latex to break down. Remember, latex diaphragms are the same as latex condoms (only thicker) so treat them with the same respect.

Diaphragms do not offer protection against STD’s so you will need to either add another method of protection (like condoms) or choose something that fits your specific needs.

How do I insert the diaphragm?

Inserting your diaphragm and using it perfectly is something that will take some practice. More likely then not, using your diaphragm will be uncomfortable, awkward, and annoying when you first start. I highly suggest taking some time inserting it and removing it before you use it during intercourse. Now I know it sounds a little overwhelming but trust me, once you get the hang of it, it’s a piece of cake.

Step 1.) After you’ve washed your hands, hold the diaphragm dome side down. Squeeze a teaspoon of spermicide cream into the center of the diaphragm and spread a bit of the cream around the rim with your finger. If you have long nails be gentle as you don’t want to accidentally pierce it.

Step 2.) Squeeze the diaphragm so that it’s boat-shaped. Then, while using your free hand to separate your inner labia, insert the folded device into your vagina. To do this use whatever position you use when inserting a tampon; standing with one foot propped up, squatting, or while lying on your back in bed are all fine, just do whatever is most comfortable to you. Keep in mind that the position of the cervix and the walls of the vagina will differ depending on your position.

Step 3.) Push the diaphragm as far as it goes and use your index finger to tuck it behind your cervix. Run the index or middle finger over the diaphragm’s dome to verify that it is covering the cervix; if the device is in the correct position, the cervix should be easily felt through the rubber. Some say it feels like the end of a nose, and that’s what it’s felt like for me, so I’m going with it. It shouldn’t be too hard to tell since it is normal to detect folds in the diaphragm when it is in place.

One thing that I do want to note is that for the Diaphragm to be its most effective it must remain in place for 6 hours after intercourse, but no longer 24 hours, as there is an increased risk of toxic shock syndrome if you do.

How do I remove the diaphragm?

To remove it insert the index finger inside the vagina and place it behind the front rim of the diaphragm then pull the diaphragm downward and out of the vagina. Fortunately getting it out is a lot easier then inserting it.

How do I clean my diaphragm?

As for cleaning it, just wash the diaphragm with non-perfumed soap and warm water, rinse it well and dry it carefully; I suggest letting it air dry. Then return it to its original container and store it in a dry, cool place.

How effective is the diaphragm?

In regard to its effectiveness when used typically 20 out of 100 women will get pregnant. However when use perfectly only 6 out of 100 women will get pregnant. That in mind, as I said before it’s always better to get guidance from your health care provider since practice makes perfect!

Pro’s of using a diaphragm

It can be discretely carried in your pocket or purse.
It can be used during breastfeeding without risk of affecting your baby.
It usually can’t be felt by you or your partner.
It has no effect on a persons natural hormones unlike other methods.
It is immediately effective and reversible.
There is no interruption of sex play and can be inserted up to 6 hours ahead of time.

Cons of using a diaphragm

While I do think that the diaphragm is a great method of protection, the only downfall is that it in order for it to be effective it must be used in conjunction with spermicide. If you are curious as to why I feel this way I suggest you watch my video on spermicide and check out my article on the subject.

That said if you plan on having sex again within a three hour span of time you need to add more spermicide. If you do choose to use this method of protection I suggest keeping a tube ready just to be safe.

While it’s still up for debate some people suggest that it cannot be used during your period
may be difficult for some women to insert (again that just takes practice)
may be pushed out of place due to heavy thrusting, and certain sexual positions
must be in place every time a woman has vaginal intercourse and used in conjunction with spermicide
may need to be refitted due to giving birth or weight change.

Common Side Effects

Fortunately most women can use the diaphragm without any issues arising. Serious problems are very rare and not that common. But some women may experience these side effects;

Frequent urinary tract infections. To avoid infection, urinate before inserting the diaphragm and after intercourse which will help to flush out any bacteria from the urethra. If you get frequent bladder infections, ask your health care provider to check to see if your diaphragm fits correctly.

Vaginal irritation; this can be a sign of an allergy to latex or spermicide. If you have a mild reaction stop using the diaphragm until you speak with your health care provider. It’s always better to be safe then sorry.

As with other methods of protection I have covered I want to stress that for some of you this may work and for some of you it may not. However, since choosing a method of protection that is right for you is a very important step in being sexually active and responsible, I do feel it necessary to cover all of the options so you can see what’s available, how to use it, and make sure your using it correctly, which will of course increase the chances of effectiveness.

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How to Choose a Sex Toy

How To's, The Written Word

Picking your first toy, or even buying your third, fifth, or tenth, can be an extremely frustrating, overwhelming, intimidating, annoying, and exciting experience. As someone who worked in a sex shop trust me I know, I’ve heard it a thousand times.

Fortunately I’ve crafted up this ‘quick beginners guide on choosing a sex toy that might just help you find something you’ll love.

Things to Keep In Mind

Before you go on the hunt for a sex toy, here’s a few things you might want to consider as they could help keep you from wasting money on something that’s far from what you really wanted.

Know Your Body

If you’re new to sexual exploration and/or don’t know your body very well, you might want to take some time to learn about your anatomy, as well as your personal likes and dislikes. Also, keep in mind that over 70% of ‘female’ bodied individuals require clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm. Sure, you could buy that cute little vibrator, but it probably won’t be that great if you don’t know what you like and what parts you’re trying to stimulate.

Know Your Needs

Speaking of likes and dislikes, its best to not let appearances or things within the media deceive you. Sure the Rabbit Pearl seen on Sex In The City is a fantastic vibe (you can watch the scene here thanks to Dangerous Lilly), but that doesn’t mean that it will work for everyone or that it’s the end all be all when it comes to vibes. Figure out what you’re looking for personally (i.e. your needs) then go for the aesthetics.

How To Choose A Sex Toy: The Basics

Battery vs Rechargeable

Products that require batteries can be a major pain… especially when they die right before you climax. They’re also costly (over time), not that great for the environment, and can kill your product if they corrode inside the battery compartment. Rechargeable eco-friendly toys are often a tad more expensive but worth it in the long run. Do yourself the favor and shell out the extra cash.

The Privacy Factory

Depending on where you live and whom you live with, you may need to choose something that’s discreet. If that’s the case items like personal massagers would be a good choice since they aren’t phallic and can be left out in the open without fear of being discovered. Although they are only good for external use, you can buy attachments that fit over the head for internal stimulation.

Gifting

If it’s a gift for someone keep in mind that sex toys are a very personal thing. Some questions you might want to ask yourself before shopping; are they comfortable with toys, open to experimentation, have used them before and whether or not they have any specific likes in terms of color, shape or design. Any little personal details you can add will more often then not make a world of difference for the receiver.

Quality vs Quantity

For most people spending over $50 on a toy seems a little unreasonable, but keep in mind that as it is in most industries, many sex toy manufacturers focus on creating high volume, lower priced products which unfortunately leads to poor quality, both in regard to the lifespan of the toy and the havoc it can create for your body. Personally, I believe it’s in your best interest to buy the highest quality sex toys you can afford, however I know that sometimes just isn’t an option. Fortunately there are lots of sex toys for around $20 that are pretty decent (the Pocket Rocket being one of them).

Shop Around & Read Reviews

Once you’ve got an idea of what you want look online for sex toy reviews to see if the product is good… or not. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve saved myself from buying something crappy thanks to an honest review.

All Sex Toys Aren’t Built The Same

Don’t blame all sex toys just because one doesn’t do it for you. If there’s something that I’ve learned through my explorations with over 200 products it’s that some work, some sadly don’t. It’s fair and totally to be expected. Fortunately I’ve been able to learn through my experiences and narrow down the specifics of what I require to get off. Sometimes I’ll go astray and choose something even though my better judgment told me not to, but for the most part the ‘wasting money’ days are over.

Product Sizing

When it comes to size, the best suggestion I can give is to be realistic; if having a finger inserted hurts, it’s best to opt for something on the smaller side, then when you’re comfortable and ready to move to something larger, you’ll be able to do so with a minimal amount of discomfort. Choosing a vaginal or anal dilator set is a good way to get more bang for your buck while also getting a variety of sizes to work with.

Good vs Bad Materials

Finally, pay attention to the materials. Unfortunately the sex toy industry isn’t regulated, allowing a plethora of crappy (read: potentially dangerous) sex toys to make their way into your bedroom drawers. When choosing a toy make sure to choose something make of 100% medical grade silicone (not a mixture), glass, ceramic, finished wood, metal, ABS plastic, and/or Thermoplastic Rubber (though I’d only opt for it as a last resort). Your best bet for choosing body safe sex toys is to shop with reputable sex toy retailers and manufacturers.

When All Else Fails

At the end of the day I know how hard choosing a sex toy can be, especially when you really don’t know what you want. When it comes to those situation, I’ve got a solution; rather than forking out a bunch of cash for one specific item, opt to buy yourself a few at lower prices so that you can experiment and see what works for you. Then, once you know what you like save up and splurge on a big ticket item that you know you’ll love.

Hopefully by following this list of suggestions you’ll not only be able to find a toy that’s right for you, but one that will last for years and offer many hours of enjoyment!

Now that you know all the basics, this ‘How To Choose A Sex Toy: The Specifics” has everything else you need to find something you’ll truly love!
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Sex Ed 102 Blooper Reel

Features, Randomness

With all the left over footage I thought I’d throw something together just for fun. Enjoy this sex ed 102 blooper reel my peeps!

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