Archive | August, 2009

Exploring the Female Body

I’m doing this video to answer some of the most asked questions I’ve received since I started making videos back in 2007. Hopefully it will help you understand the importance of knowing your body, get rid of any concerns you may have, and teach you to love the skin you’re in.

First and foremost, it’s important to note that from vulvas to nipples, eyes to teeth, every body is different and worthy of appreciation and respect. On that note, I want to stress how important it is that you learn to regularly touch yourself (it doesn’t have to be sexually) and look at yourself in the mirror. If you’re not familiar with your body there’s a likely chance you wont notice if anything is different, which could be a sign that something might be wrong health wise.

Also, during your explorations take note of anything that may feel good or bad to the touch. One of the key elements of intimacy and being sexually gratified is communication. If you don’t know what you like, how do you expect to help someone else please you?

Links to books in the video:

Sex In The CitySex In the City by Lisa Sussman

Sex in the City tackles every aspect of dating and relating you can imagine – and many that you’d never have thought of.  Covering everything from how to meet a partner – and identify the losers – to dating and sexual etiquette, down-to-earth advice on birth control and STDs, saucy tips for between-the-sheets bliss, satisfaction-guaranteed positions, wild sex, sex with your ex and how to cope with being a born-again virgin.

Hip, fun and funky in terms of design and approach, with over 50 specially commissioned colour illustrations, Sex in the City is a highly entertaining read, as well as an informative one. Better than a Cosmopolitan-fuelled evening out with the girls, this is the ultimate sex book for twenty-first century women.

Sexuality – A highly informative book covering all aspects of sexual development including the male and female reproductive systems with highly in depth, full color diagrams and illustrations. A must read!

Sex For DummiesSex for Dummies by Sabine Walter

The bestselling guide to a rewarding sex life and a deeper relationship.

Looking for the straight facts on sex? In this friendly, authoritative guide, renowned sex therapist Dr. Ruth gives you the latest on everything from oral sex and popular positions to new methods of birth control. She also debunks sex myths and covers new therapies to manage low libido, overcome sexual dysfunction, and enhance pleasure.

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Clitoral Stimulation Techniques


clitoris diagramFor those of you curious about clitoral stimulation techniques, including tips in regard to stimulating it during intercourse, as well as a few other facts that you may not know, this video should fill you in and hopefully help you find out what will work best for you.

Clitoris Facts

  • The clitoris serves no other purpose than providing sexual pleasure. In fact it is the only organ in the human body that exists solely for pleasure.
  • There are around eight thousand nerve endings within the clitoris, which is part of what makes it so sensitive.
  • Contrary to popular belief, the clitoris is much larger then people assume. Like a miniature penis, the clitoris consists of a rounded tip (the glans, think of the head of the penis), attached to a longer part (the shaft). The shaft has two “arms” that stretch backwards into the woman’s body, under the skin on either side above the vaginal opening. This picture shows the similarities between the clitoris and penis quite well.
  • Nerves controlling clitoral muscle contractions travel alongside the walls of the vagina, the bladder and urethra, passing along the sensations produced from orgasm or stimulation.  Which is why when a female experiences an orgasm during sex, the guy having sex with her will feel a throbbing or pulsing sensation inside her vagina.
  • When a person becomes sexually aroused, the clitoris fills with blood and increases in size just like a penis. After orgasm, the clitoris will return to its normal size. If the person doesn’t have an orgasm, the blood may remain there for a few hours and cause discomfort. This is pretty much the equivalent of “blue balls”.

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Male Sexual Response Cycle

Today’s video is going to cover the Male Sexual Response Cycle. For those that haven’t seen it, I created another video for the ladies to help them learn about their bodies and they way it reacts when a female goes through the phases. If you haven’t seen it yet, I suggest you check it out.

I’m hoping that through watching this video all of my viewers will not only become better educated in regard to their own body, but also will have a better sexual experience because of it.

The Phases Of The Male Sexual Response Cycle:

Male Sexual Response Cycle1.) Arousal / Excitement: This phase begins when your body first begins to respond to sexual stimulation.

Physical reactions like the following can be expected:

  • an increase in heart rate
  • flushing of the face and/or neck
  • nipples becoming hard
  • partial raising of the testicles
  • erection of the penis

2.) Plateau: This is the stage where your body is highly aroused and on the verge of orgasm.

Physical reactions like the following can be expected:

  • everything that happens during the first stage continues and increases
  • testicles will enlarge and be fully raised
  • a few drops of pre-cum will be secreted by the Cowpers glands. (This precum is meant to lubricate the urethra, as well as clean out any bacteria that may have been left behind)

3.) Orgasm / Climax:

This phase tends to be slightly different between men and women, with the men experiencing it in two parts; the first tends to be a moment of inevitability characterized by sensations that mark the point of no return with contractions occurring in the testicles, prostate and seminal vesicles. The in second part is the ejaculation of sperm due to contractions in the urethra and penis. Typically the actual orgasm lasts less than one minute for most males.

4.) Resolution: the body slowly returns to normal:

Unlike the female, who can be responsive to stimulation even after orgasm and even have multiple orgasms, the male typically goes through a period of unresponsiveness or a refractory period where he is no longer able to be aroused and needs some time before he can get another erection and orgasm. Tho this is true for most males, its not true for every one.

I do highly suggest that you take the time to learn about your body, either during masturbation or intercourse and see if you can identify the phases as you are going through them, which will in turn help you to become a better lover.

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male sexual response cycle

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Cut vs. Uncut

A lot of you have sent me questions and concerns about either your body or your partners body, especially in regard to foreskin. Unfortunately, those questions aren’t going to be answered in this video. Instead, I’m going to make a separate video at a later date that addresses everything you’ve messaged about.

Screen shot 2014-03-29 at 12.25.41 PMThis video is going to focus on making you a better lover and helping you understand – from a females perspective – whether or not being circumcised makes a difference when it comes to intercourse. Having said that, I’m basing the info and point of view within the video on the messages I’ve received from my female viewers – not just my own opinion and experiences.

To answer the question as simply as possible (again, I’m basing this on the number of emails I received from female viewers I polled about the topic)…  Yes, some women love cut dicks, others don’t prefer them, some don’t give a rats ass either way.

Whether you’re circumcised or not, great sex has less to do with your dick and more to do with how you use it, how well you stimulate your partner (in the way that they need), how open you are to feedback and honest communication, and how willing you are to make adjustments so that they can have a great time.

Key points to remember :

  • 70% of women require clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm. Your penis, as wonderful as it may be, cannot provide the necessary stimulation to her clitoris to get her to orgasm.
  • when it comes to sex and pleasure, not everyone is the same. The most important factor in being good in bed is learning what your partners likes and dislikes are and providing them.
  • Whether you’re cut or uncut, I highly suggest the use of protection to keep you safe from STI’s and unwanted pregnancy.

As always, if you are like me and understand the importance of inclusive sex education and want to help support what I am doing, please link, forward, or embed my videos to anyone that you think might benefit from them.

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Review: Couture Collection Utopia

While I’m not the biggest fan of California Exotics, there are times when I think they did something right. The Couture Collection Utopia (one of many from the Couture Collection) is one of them.  It’s made of silicone (passed the flame test), has a somewhat soft and supple texture, is fairly powerful, has an automatic off button, offers separate stimulation to both the clitoris and vagina (g-spot), and is very easy to use.

The down side, it requires batteries and may be too long for some people.

•Multi-function stimulator with tantalizing bunny
•Soft, flexible, and pliable
•7 function clitoral stimulation
•3 speeds of shaft rotation
•Automatic on/off button
•Medical grade Japanese Silicone
•7 x 1.5 / 18 cm x 4 cm
•3 AA batteries

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