Sex Ed 102 Q&A: I like talking dirty, am I normal?

Question:

I got into a relationship almost a year ago (I’m now 18) and I just realized that I have a really big naughty side to me and am starting to show it. I don’t know why but just texting can sometimes get me excited and arouse me. He likes it and so do I, but people are making me feel like I’m a slut because of the way I am starting to act towards him which is making me feel bad about myself.

Is what I’m feeling normal? Am I really just a “slut”? I like talking dirty, am I normal?

Please help, I’m so confused!

Just Another Confused Teen

Answer

Dear JACT ,

Simply put – you’re normal! What you’re going through is very common and to be expected at your age. There is nothing wrong with you and it’s not something to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

What you’re experiencing is a natural part of puberty and something most teens experience between the ages of *10-17 for girls and *12-18 for boys (I use those numbers because they are what is commonly defined as a “teen”). This change in sexual awareness and arousal is due to changes in hormones that shift the body from childhood to being capable of reproduction.

This is a time that should be embraced as an opportunity for you to learn about your body, what you’re feeling sexually, and why, rather than worrying what other people think. That said, in regard to those who are calling you a “slut” or making you “feel like one”, I suggest you ignore them and learn to be gentler, kinder, and more accepting of yourself and your new found breach into womanhood.

In an effort to avoid further name calling I suggest that you keep your private life separate from those who feel the need to pass judgment. Not everyone needs to know what you’re doing or saying to him. That’s between you and he. If it is something that you would like to share, only do so with those that you feel comfortable with, trust, and know wont have any negative feedback.

Also keep in mind that if they haven’t yet, those who have been making you “feel like a slut” will soon discover that they too are experiencing sexual feelings towards others and like you, may not know whats going on or how to deal with it.

Hope that helped,
Kara_Sutra

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