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Beginners Guide: Everything You Need To Know About 69’ing


Not sure what 69ing is? Not to worry. This beginners guide: Everything You Need To Know About 69’ing covers all the bases!

What is 69’ing?

“69ing” refers to a sexual position that allows you and your partner to give and receive simultaneous oral sex. As for why it’s called ’69’, if you look at the way the numbers line up it looks like two heads facing each others genitals. Pretty basic.

Although it takes a little more coordination than some other sex positions, there are a bunch of ways to make it easy, comfortable, and totally enjoyable for both parties.

69’ing Tips & Suggestions

Because this position puts the other person face-to-face with your genitals it can be rather embarrassing, overwhelming, and uncomfortable. Especially if you already feel self conscious being naked in front of another person. My suggestion, do your best to learn about and love your body beforehand. Look at it in the mirror, feel it, touch it and see what you like, become comfortable in your skin and trust that your partner likely doesn’t see all the faults you do. I know this can be hard for a lot of people, but it’s key to being able to let go and really enjoy yourself.

  • Very often when people orgasm there are uncontrollable muscle spasms, sometimes to the point of legs tensing like vice grips. If this is something that often happens to you, have a code word that lets your partner know you’re going to cum, that way they’ll have ample time to move and keep their head from getting squished between your thighs.

 

  • Like being in control? Try being on top, resting on your knees, with your legs straddling your partners head. This lets you determine how much stimulation you receive. If you want more or less simply lower or raise yourself accordingly. Just make sure you don’t rest all your weight on them. Suffocating isn’t fun.

 

  • On that note, be aware of your body and where your weight is landing. There’s nothing worse than being in the moment, totally enjoying yourself, only to find your partner yelling because you accidentally pulled their hair with the shifting of a knee.

 

  • If you’re well endowed be aware of how deep your thrusting, especially when on top and your partner has no where to back their head up to. Without meaning to you could hit their gag reflex, or accidentally choke them.

 

  • Not everyone likes balls. If you’ve got a set of ’em and you’re the one on top, try to be aware of where they’re landing. For the person on the bottom, use your hand to keep them out of the way.

 

  • If putting weight on your knees is uncomfortable, try lying side by side with your heads resting on each others thighs. This can allow a longer session, while also giving each other a bit more control, and easier access to everything.

 

  • Don’t be afraid to let your tongue wander. You don’t have to stick to specific target areas (i.e. the clitoris or penis). Explore the entire vulva. Same goes for the balls, taint (space between balls and ass), and foreskin (if they have any).

Remember, safe sex is the best sex. Use condoms and dental dams as necessary.

The Bad

If you’re the type that really enjoys oral sex, it may be rather difficult to concentrate on what you’re doing when your partner is busy at work between your legs. This can go for your partner as well. That said, don’t be disappointed if they keep losing focus or aren’t able to help you reach orgasm while in this position. Take it as a compliment that you’re doing a good job, and if they finish before you, ask them to help you out. Remember, unlike in the movies people don’t often orgasm at the same time.

I know good hygiene shouldn’t be something I need to cover, but 69ing often puts partners almost level with each others asses…. and while it’s a fetish (Olfactophilia), from the emails I receive I don’t think it’s something everyone is into. If you don’t want to offend your partner, should they not be into the ass smelling thing, washing up before would be a good idea.

Considering your mouths will likely be full most of the time, talking dirty or communicating your needs isn’t the easiest.

This isn’t the most comfortable position and can be rather awkward to get into and out of. Like I said earlier, be aware of your body and where parts are landing getting into and out of position. I’ve heard far too many tales of people being kneed in the face, squished, or elbowed by flailing limbs.

End.

That’s pretty much all the advice I can offer. Hopefully it’ll help in some way. If you have any questions or are looking to share a story feel free to use the comments below.

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Beginners Guide to Penis Extensions

After two years of questions from my viewers about their penis, its size, and how to make it larger, I thought I would offer a couple product reviews that might potentially help.

Before we move on, I just want to emphasize there is nothing wrong with having a penis that’s not the reported ‘average’. There are many people that prefer something not so big, and considering over 70% of women require clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm (something PIV can’t provide), having a smaller cock may just come in handy (it’s better at stimulating the g-spot!).

Having said that, I realize there is nothing I can say to make you feel better about your size, so instead I’m choosing to offer help the only other way I know how… by educating you on some of the options available. Hopefully it’ll make you feel more secure and confident in your body.

Like I’ve said time and time again, you’ve gotta learn to work with what you’ve got.  And when you can’t, sometimes accessorizing it might just be the way to go.

Beginners Guide to Penis Extensions

penis extensionWhat are penis extensions?

Penis Extensions are accessories that can be used for a variety of reasons, the most common are to increase the length or girth of your penis, to sustain an erection, or increase the pleasure your partner experiences.

They are often found in 3 basic forms; Realistic, Latex Roll On, and Strap-On Extensions.

Realistic

The first are hollow tube like structures that are placed over the end of the penis and slid down until the penis fills the space (pictured left). Most are crafted out of ‘skin like’ materials, be it UR3, Cyberskin, Real Feel, or otherwise. You’ll also find them made of silicone, PVC, and plastic (though the last two aren’t suggested as they’re not body safe). Skin like versions tend to be a tad pricier, aren’t very discrete, require cornstarch or renew powder to maintain their texture, can be difficult to clean since they’re porous, may slide off during use, and are more prone to tearing over time.

For those that have issues with keeping them on, you might want to try the Tommy Gunn version or a Traz Rhino as they use a ‘suction’ action to stay in place. Here’s a link to my video review of the Traz Rhino.

latex penis extensionLatex Roll On

The second type of penis extension is made of latex (pictured right) and is designed to be placed on the head of the penis and rolled down like a condom. These tend to be a little less bulky than the ‘realistic’ versions, are easier to apply, are far more discrete, and a lot cheaper. On the down side they tend not to last very long and are only good with condoms if large amounts of lube are used.

strap on penis extensionStrap On Extension

Finally, you’ll find strap on extensions. Like the others they’re hollow to accommodate a penis, however they are held in place by a large strap of elastic or other adjustable material that either fits around the waist, or a combination of waist and between the thighs. Although they are the most ‘sturdy’, easiest to care for, clean, and use, they tend to be made of sub-par materials (pvc, etc) and not the most comfortable since there is limited squish or give to them.

When looking for an extension it’s suggested that you think about what type of experience you wish to have, how long you want the product to last, if you are doing this for yourself or your partner, the size you’re looking for (they usually vary from 1 inch to 4 inches in length), how much you’re willing to spend, and whether or not discretion is of importance.

As seen in the video:

latex penis extension in beigeLatex Penis Extension ($5.40 – $17.44)

The extension consists of latex and provides a comfortable feel for the man and an enjoyable, natural sensation for the woman (or other man). The extension is flexible enough to fit over a range of penis circumferences so you dont have to worry about finding one that is exactly right. Just make sure that the extension is not too tight to be uncomfortable or too loose to fall off while inside your partner. If this is a concern, you may want to use a condom over the extension and the penis to help hold everything in place.
penis extension cyberskin

Transformer Cyberskin Penis Extension ($9.92 – $33.07)

Designed for wear during intercourse, the transformer extends the penis up to a full 4″ and enlarges the entire girth. Made of Virtual Touch CyberSkin texture for a realistic feel with Dual Density material in the tip for soft, yet firm penetration. The custom comfort design allows maximum satisfaction and fit during use. One size fits all; however, you can cut the sheath to desired length if necessary. Virtual Touch CyberSkin texture provides the ultimate experience in sexual pleasure and stimulation.

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Q&A: Problems with Penetration

Question:

Terribly sorry to bother you, I know you get a lot of emails and messages, but I really love your videos and they have helped me a lot, so I thought you might be able to help me with my situation and I couldn’t find the answer to my question in any of your videos.

To be blunt, my boyfriend has a rather large penis (7.5in, 2 in.wide), and I’m a very small female (120lbs), and we have been having problems in the bedroom. We are probably the most intimate couple I know, completely in love, and after a long wait we decided that we wanted to have sex. We’re both virgins. However, whenever we try, he cannot penetrate. I know that it is not a matter of our comfort level, both of us want it very much, and I get wet, but he can never penetrate more than an inch without me experiencing extreme pain. So I guess you could say we’re having problems with penetration. Inserting tampons larger than regular size is even uncomfortable for me. We have tried multiple times with various condoms, and I am aware of the fact that the first time will hurt, but I was wondering if you have any suggestions, like positions we could try, or products we could buy to make it less uncomfortable for me, or any other advice you might have.

Would it be easier if we “practiced,” as in, he tries to penetrate a little more every time? Or would that just make the pain worse? Should I use a toy, or would that just be silly?

Thanks for your help,

Worried First Timer

 

Answer

Dear Worried First Timer,

Thanks for watching and supporting what I do!!

What your are experiencing is very common and something I hear all the time. That being said, please be aware of the fact that it is normal, to be expected and nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

As for suggestions, I think you should start small and then work up to an actual penis. There are many things that you can use that are smaller then him that will help your body to stretch (it won’t actually ‘stretch out’, so don’t worry about that), get accustomed to having something inside, as well as hopefully provide you with the stimulation you need to have an orgasm.

Foreplay

First I would suggest making foreplay a very regular and integral part of your experience. I say this because the more aroused you are the more your vaginal canal will expand to allow the insertion of a penis. Just to be clear, when the vaginal canal at its largest (fully expanded) it’s “usually” between 6″ – 7″ inches deep, whereas it’s normally only 3″ – 4″ inches deep. Crazy, I know. Unfortunately, more foreplay doesn’t equal a deeper expansion.

Foreplay doesn’t have to be anything specific, just whatever it is that turns you on in the moment. For some people it’s cuddling, others like talking dirty, some like watching porn, others prefer something more external like light caresses, massages, or spankings. Feel what’s right for you in the moment, it’s all about turning yourself on.

Also by making foreplay a regular part of your experience you allow your body to go through the natural response cycle of arousal, allowing you to lubricate and ready yourself for intercourse.

Start Small and Go Slow

Next, I would suggest either using a finger or a small silicone dildo to get yourself used to the feeling of having something inside. This can be done by him or by you. I’d personally suggest a dilator set, they often have everything you need, starting with smaller sized dildos and graduating to much larger. Or if you’re looking for something more specific I’d say go with a Small Silk, Little Flirt, or a Tantus Meteorite (my review) the last one is meant for anal use, but can just as easily be used vaginally. They’re all relatively small, made of body safe materials, have a base so you can get them out easily, and will last you a lifetime.

As for using them, I don’t suggest you just try and cram them in or go for an instant thrusting motion as it’ll likely be painful. Instead, lube both yourself and the toy up, then when you’re ready slowly insert the toy until it starts to hurt and when it does… just stop. Don’t remove it or shift it, just leave it exactly where it is. I know this may seem a little silly, but as time passes your body will relax and you’ll find the pain will subside. When you’re ready insert a bit more until it hurts, again, just stop. Keep going like this until the toy is completely inside you. For some people this takes one session, for others a few days of practice, some are able to do it on the first go. There is no barometer for what’s right or wrong. Just take your time and go slow. Eventually it will far less painful and something you can learn to enjoy.

Once you’re comfortable with the toys, try having him use his finger to penetrate you. I realize that it still might hurt, but using lots of lubricant and relaxing can make a world of difference. Again, I don’t suggest that he use his fingers in an “in and out” motion as the friction can sometimes hurt, but instead place that he slowly insert one in you for as long as your comfortable.  Follow the same steps outlined above until you’re comfortable and ready to explore something larger like two fingers. From there you could attempt a larger sized dildo or have him try and penetrate you. Again, it may still be painful but usually if you’ve taken the necessary time to allow your body to get used to the feeling, it can make a world of difference.

Relax

The final suggestion I have is to take some time relaxing before you have sex. The more relaxed you allow your body to become the more you will enjoy the experience because you are not tense, and therefor not “tightening” up.

Please remember that it isn’t something that is going to happen over night and instead is going to take some time for you to get used to. That being said, once you are comfortable and ready it can make the experience a much more pleasurable one then a painful one.

I do understand how frustrating this can be and hope that some of my suggestions helped.

Kara_Sutra

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Sex In The Shower: Tips & Suggestions

Shower sex is something most people have thought about at one point or another, but in the real world, having an amazing time is sometimes easier said than done;. from potentially dangerous slippery surfaces to maneuvering bodies in a small space, the inability to stay lubricated to accidentally getting soap in your partners eyes, there’s a lot of possibly frustrating things to contend with. Hopefully by following the tips outlined below the results can be pretty amazing.

Sex In The Shower: Helpful Tips & Suggestions

  • If you find your natural lubrication doesn’t last very long in the shower, try adding silicone lubricant (it’s waterproof and wont break down), which will allow for a much less painful experience.
  • On that note, NEVER use soap, shampoo, lotion, shower gel, or any other product as a lubricant. These products are not meant for internal use; not only can they be harsh and drying, they can also cause infections by throwing off the bodies natural pH.
  • Using lubricant in the shower can often cause the floor to become slippery, as such it’s advisable that you use a bath mat or non-slip rubber mat to keep from sliding in the shower.
  • Get creative and use the water to stimulate your partner; you can even engage in temperature play by adjusting from cool to warm. Just be careful of water temperature by testing on your wrist first to avoid accidentally burning your partner.
  • Finding the right position can be fairly awkward; rather than struggling to make it work, go straight for doggy-style; simply place one foot up on the edge as you bend forward and support yourself on the wall. If you want a bit more support, have your partner hold your hips. This also allows them to pull you towards them for deeper penetration while also keeping you from slipping all over the place.
  • If you want to add a bit of ambiance, turn off the lights and use candles to offer a more romantic setting. Or if you feel really creative, try switching out your regular light bulb for a black light or light bulbs that change color. Just make sure to do this well before you get started so you don’t risk getting shocked.
  • Unless you’re trying to conceive and/or know that your partner is STI free, always use protection. On that note, keep in mind that the lubricant on the condom will likely wash off so you’ll need to apply more lube otherwise there’s a risk it might tear.

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Painful Sex: Causes & How To Fix It

 

Over the last year I’ve received an alarming number of messages from my female viewers regarding “pain during sex”. For some it’s an annoyance, for others it’s made it impossible for them to have an orgasm during intercourse, let alone enjoy the experience.  As such, I thought I’d address the situation covering the various reasons it could be occurring.

 The most common causes for pain during sex are:  lack of lubrication (creating friction), a largely endowed partner (read: a big dick), an insufficient amount of foreplay and time spent on getting aroused, not being relaxed enough (which may cause tension and tightening).

Emotional

For some the issue isn’t as easily defined as it may be due to a negative previous experience which causes them to tense up as/before the penis is inserted. Sometimes called or identified as “Vaginismus”

Medical

If the issues aren’t general or emotional, there may be something going on medically like uterine fibroids, endometriosis, pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), chlamydia, an ectopic pregnancy, genital warts, vulvitis, haematoma of the clitoris, or vulvodynia,

Please feel free to look up each and everyone of those listed so that you too, may have a good understanding of what may be causing the discomfort.

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