Archive | October, 2012

Review: Vixen Creations – Maverick

Vixen Creations Maverick

With its intense neon green, impressively large, I’m-totally-gonna-eff-you-up glory, I can’t help but think that if the Incredible Hulk had a penis, Maverick is what it would look like, albeit massively larger.

And with that thought, I am at once both terrified and excited that in my world things like this exist… and it’s my job to play with them.

I mean shit, just look at it, it’s amazing! Now if only I could get my hands on a Thor or Iron Man replica, I’d be in heaven.

It certainly doesn’t help that each time I’ve brought it out my mind wanders to thoughts of Mark Ruffalo, Eric Bana, and Edward Norton, whom if combined, may just be responsible for creating the best Super Hero cock that ever there was.  Of course it’s not an actual mould of the Incredible Hulk, nor any of the drool worthy actors that have played the part, but it’s as close as I’m gonna get, and I’m alright with that.


I’ve always loved the transparent Vixen Creations tubular packaging. There’s just something eye catching and fun about it. As far as descriptions go there’s nothing rude, crude, tacky or cheap, instead providing the necessary info you’d need to make an informed decision as well as cleaning/care instructions. There’s also the adorable fox logo I’ve come to love, but that’s it.

*For those of you that value total discretion the sticker(s) can be removed so there’s literally nothing on it.

The Good

From the opaque white flared base to the bright UV glowing fluor-a-green, a girthy yet squishy body to the pronounced ridging on the shaft, this dildo is nothing to balk at. Much like another beast, the Tantus T-Rex, Maverick is impressive and overwhelming, daunting and exhilarating, in the most inspiring of ways. Gladly it’s not as girthy as the T-Rex, making insertion, and the ensuing enjoyment far easier to achieve.

But still… it’s a beast, and should be treated as such.

vixen creations maverick

As for the many other reasons it’s garnered my utmost respect…

Like all Vixen Creations the outer texture is supple, squishy, and pliable, allowing it to conform to the bodies curves and orgasmic contractions in a truly unique way; it’s almost as if I can feel it pulse and throb with me in a gentle rhythmic motion as I climax. Adding to the experience is a firm inner core offering something for the body to grab hold of and cling to when things get all-consuming, as they often do when wielding something of this stature.

Baring a urethral opening, glans, corona, frenulum, and what appears to be a retracted forskin, it’s as close to a penis in appearance as a neon colored dildo could possibly get. More that than, with the exception of the slightly tacky feeling, the smooth yet matte texture is surprisingly skin like. I hate to reduce my ‘penis skills’ (yeah, I said it), but if the lights were off and I didn’t know better, I just might think it was the real thing. I said might.

With two raised ridges on the shaft, one highly distinguishable, the other not-so-much, Maverick offers lovely g-spot stimulation during gentle thrusting as each bump graces across the area causing an explosion of sensations. It’s not going to offer the same type of stimulation firmer toys like the Lelo Ella, Bent Graduate, Chavez Dezignz Jollie, or Njoy Pure Wand can, but what it provides is more than decent, and definitely enough to help achieve an orgasm.

This bad boy is thick, really thick. Okay, it’s not quite as bad as my dino friend, but it’s more than enough to fill me entirely. Like I’ve said before, I don’t really have an affection for the well endowed, more often than not finding the experience to be one that brings discomfort rather than delight, but Maverick is different… maybe it’s because it’s squishy and therefore eases in without much force. Maybe it’s because each time I use it I’m exhaustingly determined to follow through. Or maybe it’s because it’s badass, either way, different is definitely good.

Whether you want something to use in a harness, vaginally, for anal play, or to ride while it’s suction cupped to a surface, the large flared base grants pretty much anything your little heart could dream up, and does so quite well. My only suggestions, don’t stick it to a textured surface since it won’t stay put for long, anal play will likely require lots of lube to make things more comfortable, and with a weight of just over 16 oz, make sure your harness is snug since the heft might pull it down a bit.

I know I keep touching on it, but in a market flooded with various shades of pink, blue, pastel, and purples, the vivid neon color is a welcome change of pace. Even more flattering is the stunning opalescent creamy base, complete with turquoise swirls and a sheen that’s truly breathtaking. I’d actually love to see a full dildo with that coloring, I think it would be quite the sight.

Having said that, I’ve found Maverick is at its best when viewed under UV/Black lights, taking on a pale greenish blue hue that’s no less than mesmerizing. Sure, many people probably don’t have them readily available in their home, but the purchase of one bulb will take the experience from wow to WHOA!  Just don’t go cheap on the bulb, otherwise the effect will likely get washed out. I’d suggest an 18″ bulb w/ fixture kit, you can get them starting at $9.99, which is more than reasonable.

Almost everything they make is surprisingly flexible and resistant to tearing, ripping or peeling, offering a longer lifespan than many other lesser quality products, and unlike other manufacturers, i.e. big mass producers of the jelly garbage you see in most stores, Vixen Creations offers a lifetime replacement guarantee on their goods.  Of course this doesn’t actually have anything to do with using them, but knowing that they stand behind their products to this extent fills me with confidence.

Stats: With such impressive stats Maverick is nothing to take lightly… in total your looking at just under 8″ inches in length, 7 of which are fully insertable, a diameter of 2″ inches, and a girthy circumference of 6″ inches. Compared to the T-Rex, another dildo that was significantly challenging for me,  it’s an inch longer, however the pliability of the silicone mixed with the one inch difference in girth, makes a world of difference where usability is concerned.

vixen creations maverick

length comparison

Neon Green Silicone Maverick Dildo

flexible body

Vixen Creations Neon Dildo

squishy tip

Maverick Dildo Packaging


Care & Cleaning

Because it’s a high quality silicone, and not some shady mix of silicone and who-knows-what, it can be easily cleaned with soap and water or by boiling for 3 minutes. Regarding lubes I’d only suggest a good water based lube as a silicone one would likely ruin it over time.

vixen creations Maverick

The Bad

As discussed earlier, it’s large… making it a product that will likely be too large for some. For me it was a bit much, but once relaxed and fully engaged, I found it to be most pleasing. If you still think it might be too large my suggestion is to go for the Mustang instead; it’s a half inch smaller, in both girth and length, which may make it far more comfortable. Don’t worry, it also comes in Florescent colors and various skin tones for those that want a more ‘realistic’ option. If you want the same quality, don’t mind a skin tone, but want something even smaller, go for Tex. It’s just as good but without the fun colors.

It attracts lint, but you knew that was coming. Meh, it’s not that big of a deal and doesn’t really interfere with performance, it’s just a pet peeve issue… one I’m working on with an over priced therapist. <- kidding, with all the time/money I spend on sex toys I don’t have anything left over for “real” therapy.

Because of the matte and slightly tacky texture you’ll need a fair amount to lubricant or the drag on the skin will likely be uncomfortable, leaving much to be desired. Basically put, do both yourself and Maverick a favor, and lube up.

Along with being large it’s also got a surprising amount of weight behind it, making maneuverability a bit of a challenge. Having said that it’s not necessarily a downfall, just something to keep in mind.

Final Verdict

When I first got my hands on Maverick I was admittedly a little intimidated, but with the size, coloring and weight, how could I not be? I mean shit, everything combined makes it a pretty intense product, let alone an experience. Yet looking back now, knowing everything I do, I can’t help but chastise myself for being so silly; Maverick, in all it’s glory, is a dildo I’ve come to adore – nay, embrace – because it’s everything I want… and then some. Power Girl would be impressed!

To get more info, or to get your hands on a Vixen Creations product of your own, check out one of my all time fave online shops, SheVibe, where you’ll likely find yourself spending countless hours going through the incredible cartoon like graphics on the site… and hopefully buying something worthy in the process.

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#FunFindFriday: Glow in the Dark Fleshlight Freaks


Around this time last year Fleshlight came out with the Freaks collection of male masturbators, included in the mix was a Zombie, Drac, Frankenstein, Alien, and a Cyborg… because ya know, we all have our freaky deeky kinks and stuff.

This time around they’ve taken it one step further, creating glow in the dark versions of everything but the Alien, sad Alien is sad. While I can’t quite get my head around why they would create them to begin with, there must be some hidden market of folks just dying for a clawed up Zombie puss that I just don’t know about, I have to admit they do look pretty effen interesting.  My only complaint; the pictures make them look like they have some kind of matte sheathy cocoon cover and absolutely no hole. Weird. Meh, whateve’s. It’s Fleshlight, I’m sure they know what they’re doing…

All things considered I guess the real question is, would I do one? You bet yer sweet ass I would! But then again I’ve also stuck a nuns head in my vag, had sex with a rainbow of sorts, stuffed a giant dino dink in my hole, and had my way with fun puff balls. So yeah, this wouldn’t be to far off the mark for me… let’s just say that if I had a cock, things might really get out of control. I’m counting my blessings as I type.

Having said all that, for as cool as they kinda are, I would’ve been much more impressed if they spent their money making a video of fully costumed ladies designed to be used in conjunction w/the vStroker. Just picture all that skin peeling, stitch faced, fangy, electronic goodness bopping around in front of you while banging your freaky lil Fleshlight vag. I know, it’s so hot. I can’t even imagine. Maybe we’ll get lucky next year? *shrugs*

Anyhoo, you can check them out yourselves below, or head on over to the Fleshlight Freaks Glow In The Dark webpage to get more info. Personally I prefer the original Freak versions, but that’s just me.

Oh and by the way, they’re only available for a week so stock the fuck up while you can!

For those of you that don’t know what a Fleshlight is, here ya go…

As for the glow versions…


cyborg fleshlight glowing


drac fleshlight glow glowing drac fleshlight



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Review: The Rock Box

One of the things I’ve always prided myself on is being handy when it comes to DIY projects, building stuff, and general run of the mill home renovations. I can put up perfectly level shelving in a blink of an eye, saw the shit out of wood like it’s no ones business and put together IKEA furniture almost effortlessly (I said almost), but it seems that using good ol’ power tools is where I excel; give me an electric drill, heat gun or circular saw and I’m in heaven…


So when I saw the Rock Box, a newish “vibe” toted as an “Incredibly Powerful Orgasm Machine“, I figured two of my fave things, sex toys and power tools, had finally meshed to create the most badass invention ever.  Boy was I wrong.  A shit tonne wrong.  Mournfully wrong.

And it sucks so much it hurts.


Although the packaging of the thick cardboard box is sleek, professional and heavy duty, it seems there was minimal attention paid to maintaining an air of discretion; located on each upper right corner are the words “Incredibly Powerful Orgasm Machine” splayed in a font that’s hard for anyone to miss.

As if that wasn’t overkill, located on the back in large bolded black type are the words “Orgasmic Engineering For Men And Women“.  While I understand that this may have been used to deter anyone from thinking it was an actual power tool, rather than a sex toy cleverly disguised as such, I can’t help but think it’s also a tad obnoxious.  In total the word ‘orgasm’ was used 7 times, leaving me to ponder, is that really necessary?

No, no it is not.

Especially since the majority of people would be looking for it specifically, and most likely shopping on an adult website, not Home Hardware or Home Depot for crying out loud.

Even with all of that, what perplexed me most was the inclusion of the descriptions “She’s a punk rocker” and “He’s a punk rocker too!” – I get it, it’s called “Rock Box” and therefore someone felt the need to run with the theme. But to me, this just comes off as tacky and cheesy, not catchy or highbrow. Bonus points for trying though.

The Good

Before I go into all of the reasons the Rock Box will likely end up sitting tucked away in a corner collecting dust, I figure it’s a good idea to list the few redeeming qualities it has, because for as unimpressed as I was, there were some:

  •  It’s powerful. Really powerful. We’re talking 5,000 rpm’s here… which is fucking insane! Yes, it’s the same as the highest setting on the Hitachi Magic Wand, but the design makes it feel much stronger than that. Almost to the point of being overwhelming.  Of course it’s not quite as strong as the Fairy Mini Wand (which comes in at a whopping 11,000 rpms), but it’s more than sufficient to get the job done… if you don’t go numb first.
  • There’s attachments for both ‘girls’ and ‘guys’, making it doubly useful. Whether both will use it remains to be seen, but at least they didn’t just target it to one market.
  • I’d say it’s discreet. No one in their right mind would think it’s meant for masturbation, though I’m sure they’d have a bunch of questions if they ever did come across it.
  • With only one button and a dial located on the ‘ergonomic’ handle, it’s very easy to operate. Well, for the most part anyways.
  • Measuring 20 ft in length, it’s got the longest power cord on a “massager” I have ever seen. Okay, I’ll admit I’m reaching for positives here, but for those with minimal outlets it’ll definitely come in handy.

Operating Instructions

As stated above, getting the Rock Box going is surprisingly simple… however putting it all together, that’s another story.

For Those With A Vulva: Take the ‘female’ attachment (the pink tongue like thing), pinch the clips at the end and slide it into the ‘vibration plate’, once it clicks it’s in place. Plug the lead into the plug socket located opposite the handle and plug it into the wall outlet. Start with the dial on 1 (trust me on this) and press the square button located on the underside of the handle, by now you should be experiencing the thumping rumble that is the Rock Box. To adjust the speed just turn the dial up/down, or for those that like a bit more control, press the button on and off for a pulsing experience. To turn it off just press the button. To remove the attachment pinch the clip at the end and slide it out of place (it’s advised that the product be unplugged when you do this). Easy peasy.

For Those With A Penis: Basically follow the same steps as above, but use the flat attachment.

Being that this isn’t your ‘typical’ masturbation device there are a few things you’ll want to keep in mind… don’t let the ‘male’ adapter vibrate on your testicles, it’s not meant to be used internally. Like a candle never leave it going unattended or covered with anything. And since it’s powered by an electrical outlet, it can’t be used in the water. Actually, don’t get any of it wet, ever. Sorry, just following what the instructions say.

As for using it, while the instructions suggest placing it so that the flat section rests on the clitoris and the tip hugs the curve of the vulva (pointing toward your vagina), it worked best for me when the tip was instead used for direct clitoral stimulation. Feel free to toy with it and see what does it for you. Regarding the male experience, I offered it to 3 close male friends and my partner, all in the name of science of course, to which they each scoffed and quickly declined. It seems there ain’t no man I know that wants a potential thumping power tool on his dick. Fair enough, I can’t say I blame them.


RockBox Main Unit

main unit

RockBox with Male Attachment

w/ “male” attachment

RockBox Dial

power dial

control button


 The Bad

Oh My God! Where the fuck do I begin?!

It’s big, it’s bulky, and it’s so heavy it’s annoying. Seriously. Measuring just over 7.5″ inches from side to side, around 6.5″ inches from top to bottom, and bearing a weight of ‘Jesus-Christ-I-can’t-focus-on-my-orgasm-because-I’m-having-sex-with-a-kids-bowling-ball‘, this thing is nothing to laugh at, and in all honesty, makes the ‘ergonomic’ element almost non existent.

RockBox Lint Attraction

Let’s just say I dropped one of the attachments on the floor and it looked like this after (<—). Gross. And for the record, I’m a clean freak, so seeing this made me shudder. Maybe I should start using sex toys to clean. They clearly do a much better job at picking up pet hair than my vacuum does.

If you follow my reviews you should know by now that I veer on the side of caution, avoiding most rubber or jelly toys when I can. Unfortunately I was mislead and believed the attachments were made of Silicone. They are not. They’re made of TPR, and while it’s better than a basic jelly product (because it’s phthalate and latex free), it is porous and will retain lube, bodily fluids and bacteria. Make sure to clean it well, otherwise, ick!

Although the power is a definite selling point, it’s also a force to be reckoned with. Once the vibration is combined with the weight there is no way you can use it with just one hand… instead you’ll likely find yourself holding onto both sides for dear life or using your thighs like a vice grip to clamp it in place.

Maybe it’s just me, but with the amount of women who are unable to reach climax on their own, the added stress using the Rock Box creates is just too much. Sex toys should not be this challenging.

The folks at the company call them ‘vibrations’, I call them rumblings from the deepest, darkest pits of hell. I’ll admit, I’m the type that loves intense, penetrating, rumbly sensations, but the Rock Box is in a league of it’s own. Having said that, the first 3 settings aren’t bad… and the 4th really doesn’t feel that different from the 3rd, but once you jump to the 5th things get out of control. *The 6th, don’t even. That shit’s just scary. It’s like an angry rabid bunny decided your vag needed to get beaten the fuck up and the only way to do so would be to relentlessly thump at your lady bits with its hind quarters as fast and hard as it can.   Picture it, yeah, my point exactly.


Even though the button and dial are relatively easy to reach, once the thing gets going and you’re thigh mastering like your life depended on it, that feature goes out the window pretty quickly. Especially since your main challenge will now be trying to keep your arm/legs/genitals from shaking out of control or going numb.


Sure, they’re easy to manipulate, but I can’t help but think that the little pinchable clips jutting out at the end of the attachments might suffer from some form of debacle (should it be dropped, clumsily stepped on, or handled a little too roughly) and end up broken, in which case you’d be royally screwed.

One of the things I love about my Hitachi Magic Wand, and pretty much any other hand held massager for that matter, is the fact that it plugs into an outlet allowing me the opportunity to use it for as long as I need without fear of the batteries dying mid orgasm. Knowing the Rock Box was powered by the same source I assumed it would be a benefit… nope, not at all.

Rather than providing the necessary and continued stimulation what you get is a wobbly cord that keeps detaching once the dial goes beyond 3. Awkward and unsatisfying just aren’t the words.

Because of the size of the fan, which is beyond obnoxiously large, the damn thing never sits upright, instead toppling over to one side any time you put it down. All in all, this design makes resting it on your body for hands free action almost impossible. It was a stupid idea and I hate it. There I said it. God I feel better.

Finally, IT’S LOUD. I mean really loud. Lawnmower loud. Distractingly loud…. to the point of being downright awful. Yes, most hand held wands are noisy, but they’re not even close by comparison. It’s so bad that at one point my partner thought I was using the drill to put up shelves. You can imagine his surprise when he walked in and saw me furiously trying to reach an orgams with what appeared to be some form of power tool.

Ah, the life I live, it’s magical.


Rock Box Attachments

size comparison

RockBox Vibe Female Attachment

“female” attachment

RockBox Vibe Male Attachment

“male” attachment

RockBox Vibe Power Jack

Power Jack


Care & Cleaning

Since you can’t get any of it wet the only option you have is to wipe it down with a slightly damp cloth or toy wipe. As for the attachments you can do the same, just make sure they’re totally dry before reinserting them.

When it comes to lube, though I don’t know if you’d really need any, I’d suggest a good water based one.

Final Verdict

Not So Incredibly Powerful Orgasm Machine

Clearly the Rock Box has some issues to work out before it can become a coveted product adored by the masses, but like many others that came before, I’m sure there are quite a few people who will benefit from its use. Was I one of them? No, not really, and to be honest, I wouldn’t buy it knowing everything I do now.

The orgasms it delivered, while intense, were something I had to work for, struggle with attaining, and on more than one occasion, bow out of due to the overwhelming urge to pitch it out a window. Yes, my feelings for the Rock Box were just that extreme.

Having just been through hell and back, here’s my suggestion… if you like really intense sensations, have nerve endings that are dulled leaving you in need of something strong, enjoy torturing yourself (or others) in a sexual way by letting rabid bunnies bash your junk, or simply want to try every niche pleasure object created (shit, I do!), then the Rock Box just might be for you. Otherwise, opt for a Sybian, which actually does work, and/or consider yourself forewarned.

For more info or to get a Rock Box of your own make sure to head on over to, and while you’re there, make sure to check out their sex toy sale page for some great deals on a bunch of much better sex toys. You even get free shipping!

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#FunFindFriday: Crystal Sex Toys

When I first saw these stunning rose quartz dildos online I was taken aback by their beauty, functionality, ergonomic design, and most importantly, the fact that they’re crafted from real crystal, a material that’s not only body safe, but also very near and dear to my spiritual heart.

Before launching into the world of sex toys I made a living as a part-time tarot card reader. Yes, you read that correctly. I worked the phone lines. Did private sessions. I used my ‘gift’ to help raise funds at charities, worked Halloween parties, bars, and salons, I even held parties (sort of like the Tupperware/Sex Toy/Scentsy parties you hear about) where readings were offered rather than a physical object, and for the most part, I made a good living at it. I had a list of regulars with whom I became friends, with many of them referring my services as they came to trust what was said.

Whether or not you believe in that type of thing really doesn’t matter to me. I just know it was something I was good at, liked, and felt good doing.  It grounded me in a way many previous things hadn’t, and more importantly, it allowed me to ‘connect’ to both myself and the world around me in quite a remarkable way.

The point of this babbling… through those readings came a snowball effect, one that lead to studying the meaning of crystals, numerology, runes, astrology, chakras, and the like. In short, these products carry a bit more meaning in my world than they would for someone who’s not so well versed.

For me, they go beyond the realm of ‘sex toy’; they’re works of art carved from one of the most beautiful materials our planet can produce, with the ability to carry energy, shift emotions, heal, and restore in a way others can’t. I know, I know, I probably sound like I’m spewing a bunch of bullshit hocus-pocus-mumbo-jumbo you’d expect from the likes of our friend Miss Cleo… of course that’s not my intention (nor the way I made a living, don’t get it twisted).

Well, you can imagine my excitement when I came to see that there was an ENTIRE LINE of sexy crystal sex toys available!

Magical or not, you have to admit they are rather gorgeous, and that’s more than enough to leave me lusting for the day I can call one mine.

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