If you follow me on twitter you likely know that although I’m Canadian, I’ve been all over the 2012 Presidential election #hashtagging the shit out of everything pro Obama. I’ve covered the debates like they’re an MMA fight between two heavy weights and voiced my dislike for the smirking religious zealot Mittens, and his equally scary side-kick Ryan.
It should come as no surprise that on the day the American public decides the fate of their Country, I’ve taken it upon myself to review a product that fits into the mix perfectly, practically screaming “MURICA, FUCK YEAH!“… the Ohio dildo, created by the amazing folks over at Babes ‘n Horny.
Shit, if I can’t vote, at least I can do this.
Packaging
As with all the products I received from the company, Ohio arrived void of any ‘packaging’, instead being wrapped in transparent plastic with the name of the dildo written across the bottom. Sure, there will be some that think it’s a cheap way to go, but considering it comes straight from the manufacturer I don’t mind one bit; there’s basically no garbage produced, no carbon footprint created, and it grants them the ability to get you the product without it potentially being stopped at the border and thoroughly investigated, or held back due to what it is (which has happened to me on more than a handful of occasions.)
I wrote to my contact at the company last time I did a review for them and this is what she had to say about it:
“Yes, all dildos are shrink wrapped and then packed securely in discreet cardboard. We choose a box that fits as snugly as possible so that curious persons cannot squeeze them! and then packed in a generic Royal Mail envelope with only our Panda studio address on it. There is absolutely no mention of Babes-n-Horny whatsoever visible on the package. For all anyone knows it could be a part for your lawn mower(!)”
As far as I’m concerned I think it’s a step in the right direction and more companies should follow suit.
The Good
Just like my review of the stunning multi colored rainbow dildo I previously fell in love with, I’m going to start with the obvious reason I’d buy Ohio; it’s visually striking in a way many other pleasure objects never quite manage to achieve. I might be wrong but I’m pretty sure it’s the only sex toy on the market baring resemblance to the American flag. In a market flooded with similar coloring and rehashed hues, Ohio certainly stands apart.
As expected, each of red and white stripes ‘pops’ against the next, never once bleeding or fading into the other. The shades are bright and bold, offering clean lines that are far from diluted or washed out. More importantly, the white is actually white, and while that may not seem like a big deal, considering the fact that it could be a very pale shade of pink (which I half expected due to the red portions), it’s not, leaving me thoroughly impressed.
Regarding the texture, you’re looking at a dildo that’s squishy, pliable, sleek, flexible, highly supple, wonderfully smooth, virtually seamless, and exceptionally easy to work with. Not only does the flawless design and gently rounded head allow it to glide in with ease and comfort, it also lends itself well to moving with the body whether during thrusting or grinding upon.
On that note, the accommodating size makes it great for deep thrusting, as the lack of length offers an opportunity to plunge deep without fear of potential soreness afterwards, and while Ohio isn’t overly girthy or thick, it’s certainly capable of creating a lovely feeling of fullness whether used anally or vaginally.
For those that like to share the experience with others, the flared base provides a variety of options by which to explore; it makes a great handle, allowing complete control while also providing a layer of cushioning during heavy play. It’s also great for wearing in a strap-on, especially since it’s fairly light and therefor tends not to droop too much. It even suctions to most flat surfaces quite well.
With the exception of two subtly thicker rounded portions found along the body of the shaft, the shape is fairly basic, limiting stimulation of the g-spot or p-spot. Fortunately those two inclusions aren’t wasted, as each can be felt during penetration, adding to the experience in the most delightful of ways.
Even though Ohio isn’t crafted in the good ‘ol US of A, quite surprising considering the star spangled design, it’s still nice to find small homegrown companies making a living doing something they love. Taking into account all the election talk of ‘small businesses’ and helping them get the support they need, I can’t help but agree – there needs to be more of this, much more. Just like I hope you vote responsibly, I also hope you buy responsibly.
Stats: Although Ohio isn’t as large as the last few dildos I’ve reviewed, allowing my vagina to finally catch a break, that doesn’t mean it’s not highly enjoyable; in total you’re looking at around 5.5″ inches with 5′ inches of that being fully insertable (the base is an inch in length), just under 4′ inches around in circumference (by my own measurements), and a diameter of just over an inch. Keep in mind that each of these is hand crafted which may alter the dimensions in the slightest of ways.
 size comparison |
 flexible body |
 girth |
 Ohio |
Care & Cleaning
Because it’s crafted of high quality silicone you can simply wash it using soap and water, just make sure to give it a good rinse, you could also boil it if you wanted to totally sterilize it, but I don’t think it’s really necessary since it’s non porous and won’t absorb bodily fluids, lube or bacteria in the same way a lesser quality material would.
As always, when it comes to silicone I’d only suggest a good water based lube, and if you have issues with reoccurring yeast infections, one that’s sugar and/or glycerin free would definitely be a good idea.
The Bad
When it comes to things I don’t like, there are a few but they’re mostly superficial…
While it is esthetically pleasing, those that are perfectionists may have a slight problem with the specifics; of the 7 stars present on the base two are a little blurred, with the rest being lopsided, stretched and/or far from perfect. Fortunately this has nothing to do with the actual experience and therefore remains more of a silly visual issue than anything truly worth mentioning. And really, how many other sex toys do you see with legit stars and stripes? None. End of story.
Because of the texture you’ll likely need to lube it up, otherwise there will be some drag on the skin that could prove to be a tad uncomfortable.
Other than that, it attracts lint which we all know by now drives me batshit crazy… but that’s just me, in reality it’s certainly not a deal breaker.
Final Verdict
For as much as I wanted to, I opted against using the entirety of this review to push why I think everyone should vote for Obama. Or to highlight his stance on equal rights for women. Or go into all the lies Mr. Money Bags Romney has told. Nay, on the eve of the #2012election I decided to focus my anxiety attention on the a product called”Ohio”, rather than the swing State of the same name. Though if I was covering the State, you can bet your sweet ass it would be to show you why I think they should thank Obama by giving him their vote.
No matter whom you’re voting for, if you’re a proud American you really need a Yankee Dildo Dandy like Ohio. Not only is it body safe, highly durable, easy to use, versatile, supple and comfortable, it shows a dedication to your Country and everything it stands for; Liberty and sex toys for all. Okay, I made that last part up, call it me exercising some ‘freedom of speech’… and taking one last quick jab at Mitt “The Misogynist” Romney.
If you prefer a far more fun comparison, it also resembles the Cat In the Hat’s Hat. So yeah, picture yourself stuffing that in your vag.
To get more info, check out the amazing selection Babes n Horny offers, or learn more about the company, head over to their website where shopping for intimate accessories is discreet, easy and well worth the money! (I’d personally suggest eyeing the Leo in the Desert Camo, their Butt Plugs in lovely pastels, Etienne – a white version with pretty bright dots, a cast of the TS porn star Danni Daniels cock, and finally, another star spangled beaut hailing from the same place my beloved Obama does, Chicago.
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With sex toys coming in the shape of rubber duckies, red apples, lint rollers (yes, I did say lint rollers), Japanese Kokeshi Dancers, neon pink popsicles, and retro rockets, it was only a matter of time before our growing fascination with cupcakes crossed into the market, infiltrating with a dose of super cute sweetness that’s hard to resist.
Regarding the finer details; it’s crafted out of smooth and supple silicone that’s latex and phthalate free, is push button activated via a small button located on the bottom, boasts of two speeds and three pulsation patterns for those that like variety, and is manufactured by Shiri Zinn, a designer who’s collection of limited edition sexy goodies leaves me almost speechless.
