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Beginners Guide: The Clitoris


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Sex Ed 102 Beginners Guide: The Clitoris

Despite its importance, the clitoris has long been misunderstood or ignored in sexual education. In recent years, however, there has been a growing movement to raise awareness about its structure and function, emphasizing the importance of clitoral stimulation in sexual pleasure. Knowing how to properly stimulate the clitoris – whether through gentle touch, oral sex, or the use of sex toys – can empower individuals to take control of their sexual health and enjoy more fulfilling intimate experiences.

Ultimately, education about the clitoris is vital for dismantling the myths and misinformation that have historically shrouded cis female sexuality. As awareness continues to grow, the clitoris is becoming rightfully recognized as an essential part of anatomy that deserves attention, respect, and care in the pursuit of a satisfying sex life.

Anatomy of the Clitoris

The clitoris is a complex and highly sensitive organ, often misunderstood or underrepresented in discussions about cis female anatomy. To get a better idea of the structure of the vulva and complete clitoral network, please refer to the Healthline image below.

The Clitoral Hood

The clitoral hood is a fold of skin that covers and protects the sensitive glans of the clitoris, much like the foreskin on a penis. It acts as a protective layer, shielding the clitoris from constant friction or irritation, while still allowing for pleasurable stimulation during sexual arousal. The clitoral hood can vary greatly in size and shape from person to person, and during arousal, it often retracts slightly, exposing more of the clitoral glans for direct stimulation. This natural covering plays an important role in regulating sensitivity, as some individuals prefer indirect stimulation of the clitoris by massaging the hood, while others enjoy more direct contact.

The Glans/Clitoris

The clitoral glans is the small, external part of the clitoris that is visible at the top of the vulva, where the inner labia meet. Despite its small size, the glans has an astonishing concentration of nerve endings – around 8,000 – making it the most sensitive erogenous zone in the human body and a central focus of sexual pleasure. During arousal, the glans becomes engorged with blood, increasing its size and responsiveness to touch.

Although it is the only part of the clitoris visible externally, the glans is connected to a much larger internal structure that contributes to sexual sensation. Its primary function is to provide pleasure, and different individuals may prefer various types of stimulation to this sensitive area, whether through gentle touch, vibration, or pressure. However, this is only a small fraction of the clitoris.

Illustration by Cristie Wilson

The Crura/Corpus Cavernosum

The crura are the two internal, elongated branches of the clitoris that extend downwards from the clitoral glans, running along the sides of the vaginal canal. Made of erectile tissue, the crura become engorged with blood during sexual arousal, much like the glans, contributing to the swelling and increased sensitivity of the clitoral structure.

Though not visible externally, the crura play a significant role in sexual pleasure, providing a deeper sense of fullness and pressure when stimulated. They are part of the larger clitoral network, which works in unison to enhance arousal, making the crura an essential, though often overlooked, component of the female sexual anatomy.

Vestibular Bulbs

While not as widely recognized as the external clitoral glans, the vestibular bulbs are essential components of the clitoral anatomy. These bulbous masses of erectile tissue sit on either side of the vaginal opening, beneath the skin, and swell with blood during sexual arousal. Although not directly attached to the visible glans of the clitoris, they work in tandem with the internal crura and other parts of the clitoris to enhance sexual pleasure. The swelling of the vestibular bulbs can create a feeling of fullness and heighten sensitivity in the surrounding area, contributing to the overall sensation of arousal and pleasure.

Final Thoughts

Although there is no direct role in reproduction, the clitoris allows for a variety of pleasurable experiences.

Essentially, the clitoris is the focal point of sexual enjoyment for many, enabling us to explore and experience deep levels of pleasure and satisfaction.

By recognizing the importance of the clitoris in sexual pleasure and making space for conversations about it, we can develop a deeper understanding of our own bodies, or that of our partner(s), and enhance their sexual well-being.

And as conversations around sexual health continue to evolve, it’s essential to prioritize accurate and inclusive education about the clitoris. Shedding light on its purpose and importance helps to dismantle outdated myths, ensuring that more of us are equipped with the knowledge to embrace our own pleasure and advocate for it in our relationships.

Whether through solo exploration or shared intimacy, understanding the clitoris is key to unlocking deeper sexual fulfillment and fostering a positive, informed approach to sexuality.

For those looking for more information on ways of exploring what feels good and what doesn’t, whether with a partner or solo, my clitoral stimulation guide for beginners might be a helpful place to start.

If you’d like to purchase products designed specifically for clitoral stimulation be sure to check out any of my favourite online sex toy stores be it Pinkcherry, SheVibe, or Babeland. Don’t forget to shop around to make sure you’re getting the best prices available.

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The Best Black Friday Sex Toy Sales 2019

Black Friday Sex Toy Sales 2019For the last 6 years I’ve created a list of the very best Black Friday sex toy sales I could find. I debated not doing it this year as I’ve been fairly absent from the scene (because, life). But at the end of the day I figured I shouldn’t let my set backs keep you from having a great sex life.

That in mind, I’m once again taking away the guess work and posting all my favourite Black Friday sex toy sales below. Rest assured you won’t find them listed cheaper anywhere else… unless I’ve missed a sale, and if I did, let me know and I’ll update the page if the products are body safe and quality made.

I’ve done my best to streamline the sales in an attempt to make bargain hunting easier for you. Last year I split the ‘highlights’ into 3 sections, this year I’m going balls to the wall and creating lists that are highly specific. Hopefully that’ll help you find exactly what you want without wasting too much time.

If you’re up for it, I suggest doing a quick scroll down the page as there are products and bundled sales I don’t mention in the highlights.

The lists this year are long and detailed… that’s what happens when I spend a week jumping between sites, comparing prices, emailing manufacturers for advance notice, and doing my damnedest to help you save! On that note, unlike other years I didn’t go overboard. Instead, I just focused on the stores I shop at personally. Quality over quantity.

Want to thank me for hooking you up? Just remember to clear your cookies and cache before you link to your favorite store, that way you can be sure I’ll make a tiny commission anytime you shop. It’s not a lot of money, but it’s enough to keep me doing something I love while helping you along the way.

*all prices are in USD unless otherwise specified

The Best Highlights

If you don’t feel like scrolling over the whole page, or if you’re easily overwhelmed by big posts, here are all of my no bullshit lists of the very best deals I could find for some of the MOST COVETED products…

**(After you ‘proceed to checkout’ use the coupon codes for the discounts to apply – the websites wont automatically adjust the prices until you do this)

Clitoral Stimulation

 

Black Friday Sex Toy Sales Hitachi Magic Wand

Original Magic Wand

Black Friday Sex Toy Sales WeVibe Tango

WeVibe Tango

JimmyJane Form 2

Black Friday Sex Toy Sales Womanizer Liberty

Womanizer Liberty

Original Pocket Rocket

Vibrators, Thrusting Toys & G-Spot Stimulation

Black Friday Sex Toy Deals Njoy Pure Wand

Njoy Pure Wand

Bi Stronic Dual Vibe

G-Spot Pulsator

Max Thrusting Vibe

Lelo Gigi

Butt Stuff, Dildos, & Dilator Sets

Perfect Plug Kit

Sheology Dilator Set

What are dildos - Tantus Mark O2

Basic Dildo

Pride 6″ Rainbow Dildo

Tantus T-Rex

 

Fantasy Themed Sex Toys

Unicorn Horn Dildo

Game Of Moans Dildo

Tentacle Dildo

Darth Vibrator

The Realm Combo

 

BDSM Highlights

For those of you into BDSM, I put together an extra little section n the best Black Friday sex toy Sales so you wouldn’t have to hunt around online. Personally I think this list has enough stuff to help you get started, or add to your repertoire. I’ll be adding more as I find them, but for now this should do.

**(After you ‘proceed to checkout’ use the coupon codes for the discounts to apply – the websites wont automatically adjust the prices until you do this)

Dragon Tail Spanker

Wedge w/ Wrist Cuffs,

Wrist & Ankle Cuffs

Bondage Swing

Obedience Bench

For My Readers w/ Dicks & Prostates

Just because you have a dick or a prostate doesn’t mean you should be left out. That in mind, here’s all the best Black Friday sex toy sales on masturbators, sex dolls, cock rings, prostate toys, and penis enhancers I could find. Hopefully it’ll help you find something that’ll work for your needs.

**(After you ‘proceed to checkout’ use the coupon codes for the discounts to apply – the websites wont automatically adjust the prices until you do this)

Fleshlight

PDX Mega Stroker

Prostate Massager

AutoBlow 2

Plus Size Doll

 

For those of you interested in doing all your shopping in one place (as opposed to grabbing different toys at different places just so you can save more), I’ve listed the best Black Friday Sex Toy Sales at my favourite retailers and manufacturers below. Feel free to scroll through to the bottom and see which retailer/manufacturer suits your needs.

 

 



Like last year SheVibe is doing a straight forward tiered Black Friday sex toy sale meaning, the more you buy the more you save. Truthfully, you’ll find better Black Friday sex toy sales prices on single items elsewhere, but you likely won’t find the same amazing selection.

They’ve got just about all of my favorite independent manufacturers and lesser known brands in one place; Crystal Delights, Godemiche, Funkit Toys, BS Is Nice, Hole Punch, Lumberjill, Pop by the Semenette, Chrystalino, DoDil, Sili Saddle, Split Peaches, Uberrime, Vixen Creations, and Pleasure Works.

Get 10% off when you spend $75+, plus free shipping (use code ‘BUMBLE10)

Get 15% off when you spend $100+, plus free shipping (use code ‘JACK15’)

Get 20% off when you spend $125+, plus free shipping, (use code ‘RALPHIE20’)

Get 25% off when you spend $350 or more , plus free shipping, (use code ‘GRINCH25’)

– The Perfect G-Spot Combo

Njoy Pure Wand

Liberator Decor Throe

Decor Throe

Sliquid H2O Water Based Lube

Sliquid H20

I’ve posted this combo every year because it’s just do damn good… pair the definitive g-spot ‘dildo’, Njoy Pure Wand $99.99 + Liberator Decor Throe for $89.99 or any of the Liberator Throes for that matter, + 4.2oz bottle of Sliquid H2O $10.99, for a grand total of $200.97… then use code ‘RALPHIE20‘ at checkout and save 20%, bringing your total down to $160.77 plus free shipping! That’s a total of $40.20 in savings versus buying at regular price! Honestly, if I could pick any combo of toys to give someone that loves g-spot stimulation (and either gets really wet or squirts), this one would be it.

*prices shown include applicable discounts from using coupon codes
  • If you love unique toys made by hand, you’ll definitely want to take a look at Hole Punch Toys (check out my interview with them), right now I’m lusting after the absolutely stunning Hole Punch Silicone Nun Dildo for $101 (reg $119), and their Carrot and Radish butt plugs. Yes, you read that right. They make veggie shaped butt plugs.
  • When it comes to wood toys, NobEssence is where it’s at – I can haz a Seduction for only $117?
  • For those of you that love the feel of silicone and want something bright, colourful, and fun, I think the lovelies made by BS Is Nice might be right up your alley. I honestly love all their designs, but I think they make some of the very best Rainbow Sex Toys around!
  • Last but not least, I can’t speak highly enough about Vixen Creations – everything they make is just perfection.

 

Hole Punch Carrot Plug

Hole Punch Carrot

Nobessence Seduction

Tentacle Dildo

Funkit Cashew Nib

BS is Nice Pride

Vixen Raquel

Crystal Delights Plug

Godemiche Ambit

BS is Nice Bingo

Hole Punch Rad-ish


 

Make sure to check out the blowout section when searching for some of the best Black Friday sex toy sales – everything here is WAY cheaper than you’ll find elsewhere (in most cases you’re looking at 25% less than other retailers). Everything here can be reduced an additional 50% with the coupon code FIFTY. If you do choose to shop in this section make sure to pay attention to the quality of the toys, not all of them are made of body safe materials; you’ll want to stick with pure silicone (not a blend), stainless steel, tempered glass, ABS plastic (think hard vibrators), ceramic, and wood. Avoid jelly/rubber at all costs; it stinks (literally), it sweats out harmful chemicals into your mucous membranes, absorbs bacteria like lube and bodily fluids, and it can’t be fully sterilized. Ew.

Other than that EVERYTHING on the site is on sale for 40% off with the coupon code BLACK40. There’s A LOT to choose from, most of which I placed in the highlights at the start of the post. Below I’ve re-posted some of those deals. Having said that, if you want to save definitely hit up Pinkcherry and browse through the site. I’m sure you’ll find exactly what you want at the lowest price available.

  • When it comes to hand held massager the Original Magic Wand ($35) is where it’s at. For years it was a go-to for anyone looking for a powerfully deep and rumbly, yet discreet, vibrator. Then came the Rechargeable Magic Wand ($75), a very similar version with one main difference; no cord chaining you to a specific location. Personally I’m happy with the original version, but for those that like to switch things up, or those with limited power outlets, the Rechargeable version will do just as well (maybe better).
  • The We-Vibe Touch ($48) and We-Vibe Tango ($56), are a steal for two of the very best clit vibes available. I have 3 of them so there’s always one charged and ready to go. That should say something.
  • They also have the best prices I’ve seen for all of the Womanizer clitoral suction stimulators.
  • Again, my penis envy has forced me to list the following;
  • If you’re into a little BDSM, Pinkcherry has some decent Black Friday sex toy sales this weekend; you can snag an Adjustable Spreader Bar for only $27. Need a sturdy but portable place to bind your partner? The Strict Bondage Board provides 14 separate D-ring attachments that can be connected to cuffs, leashes, tethers and more ($180). For those that like weightless sex, or just trying new things, the Fetish Fantasy Bondage Swing ($120) gives you the freedom to play and experiment without worrying about damaging the walls or ceiling (supports up to 300 pounds).

Black Friday Sex Toy Sales Hitachi Magic Wand

Original Magic Wand

Black Friday Sex Toy Sales WeVibe Tango

WeVibe Tango

Womanizer

Strict Bondage Board

WeVibe Touch Review

WeVibe Touch


 

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Review: Rainbow Pumped Suction Cup Dildo

Rainbow Dildo Review: Kara Sutra Reviews
If you follow any of my social media you’ll likely know by now how strong my love of rainbow sex toys is. Sadly, my collection isn’t quite as large as I’d like it to be. As such, I decided I needed some new additions. When the folks behind HotCherry asked if I’d like to review something for them, I jumped at the chance to get my hands on the Rainbow Pumped Silicone Dildo.

Before I get into the review it’s worth mentioning that I am not a “size queen“. Really big dicks just don’t do it for me. Never have. With that in mind, my experiences with this rainbow dildo were hit and miss.

That isn’t to say that it’s not a fantastic addition, just that due to its size, it was a tad too much for me. Those that like things on the thicker side will undoubtedly love this rainbow dildo. Me on the other hand, I’m still debating.

The Good

First things first, aesthetically the Rainbow Pumped Silicone Dildo is stunning. The edges are clean cut, with precise definition, offering no bleeding from one shade to the next. Each equally distributed layer is a perfect bright and bold hue, with no deviations from a traditional rainbow. Rather than having horizontal lines like most rainbow toys, the lines are diagonal, creating a lovely lengthening effect. All in all, it makes the perfectionist in me ridiculously happy.

As for the silicone, it’s matte and velvety to the touch, supple, with a bit of give. While there is some flexibility, it’s firm enough that it doesn’t bend, making insertion while mounting doable. Having said that, because it’s a matte silicone it will require lube, and lots of it. Otherwise you can expect some uncomfortable dragging on the skin hindering insertion. Trust me on this.

The head of the shaft has a pronounced ridge for those that like g-spot stimulation. The slight veining on the thick shaft offers some enjoyable sensations internally. And the firm but squishy balls let you gauge how far it’s inserted while also providing decent cushioning while thrusting. If you like to have a bit more control, flip it around and use them as a handle.

For those that prefer hands free action, the flared base acts as a really good suction cup. I suggest wetting the bottom then pressing down hard on the area you want it to stick to. For the most part it’s not going to move on flat surfaces, but because of the weight, it won’t do well against shower tiles. We’ll get to that later.

Also on the note of the flared base, it’s compatible with strap-ons for pegging play. Getting it into the harness ring may require a bit of effort due to the length, but it should insert without too much trouble. Just know in advance that it’s heavy, very heavy, and will droop when worn.

Rainbow Dildo Review: Kara Sutra Reviews Experience

From the moment I saw it in the package I knew I was in over my head. My own fault really; unless it looks like big online (and this didn’t), I rarely, if ever, check size stats before requesting a product. You’d think I’d have learned my lesson by now… nope.

With regard to stats, the dildo is 9.75 inches in total length, with 7 inches being fully insertable. At it’s thickest the girth measures 6.75 inches, while the shaft generally measures 5.5 inches. All in all it’s a big dildo.

As someone who likes to test a product as many times as possible before deciding if they like it, I won’t lie, the struggle was real. That said, this isn’t my first time at the rodeo. I tried another big dildo a few years ago, granted the rainbow dildo is by no means similar in girth. But still. While the 7 inch length is perfect for me, the 6.25 inch girth (at its largest point), is much, much, bigger than I’m used to.

Patience Is A Virtue

Knowing this was a dildo I wouldn’t be able to instantly handle, I took my time. After 10 minutes with the Original Magic Wand and a smaller dildo to get things going, I slapped it onto a flat surface and mounted it. Nope. Not happening. Even with all the self pleasuring my body just wasn’t ready. Never one to back away from a challenge, I spent another 10 minutes trying to find a position or angle that would allow me to take it. Eventually my body gave way, and with a slight ‘pop’, it slid into place with little resistance.  Once inserted the thick shaft was fulfilling while the length was highly satisfying. Thrusting was kept to a minimum as the weight of the dildo made it difficult to manage. For the most part the struggle was worth it. Having said that, I don’t know that it’s a dildo I’d go back to with any frequency.

I had hoped that after my initial experience each new attempt would be easier. Sadly, wasn’t the case. Every time I tried my body tensed in anticipation of the pronounced ridge. I’m sure with continued use I’ll eventually get past that, but I fear the effort it’ll take getting there will be a bit much. So many toys, so little time.

Everything considered, I have a couple suggestions to make it enjoyable; use lots of lube and I do mean lots. Don’t go straight for it. Instead, work your way up by using a partner or other products before hand (the vaginal canal will expand and lengthen when aroused, take advantage of that). Finally, don’t be afraid to use something on your clitoris if you need to; it’ll help with arousal and self lubrication.

The Bad

I get it, most dildos replicate the appearance of a penis; as in, there’s a pronounced ridge below the head on the shaft. Yes, aesthetically it might be pleasing. But it also makes insertion extra difficult for those not used to something this big. Removal even more so. My second attempt was slightly painful as I tensed in anticipation of the ‘pop’ I felt the first time around. Not fun.

Although it did suction nicely to flat surfaces, it didn’t do so well on the bathroom tiles. It’s got quite a bit of weight to it so it’s not going to instantly affix itself easily.  It’s also not going to stick to walls, the weight will eventually bring it down.

Finally, it collects a lot of lint. Not a big deal, but it annoys me.

Care & Cleaning

Remember, anything that’s quality silicone won’t absorb bodily fluids, lube, or bacteria. Simply wash this silicone dildo with soap and water, boil it, bleach it with a 10% bleach solution, or put it in the top rack of your dishwasher.

As with all silicone toys you’ll want to use water based lubricants. You could opt for a silicone lube once you’ve done a patch test and are sure it’s okay to use (just rub some silicone lube on the base of the toy, if there’s a reaction it’s not compatible). Otherwise a silicone lube will likely ruin it with time.

Final Verdict

I’m admittedly a little torn on this one…

On the one hand I can see how those that like something a little bigger would love this dildo. The girth is fulfilling once inserted, while the length is perfect for those that like it deep. More than that, it’s quality made, virtually non-porous, easy to care for and clean, can be used with a harness, suctions to most surfaces, and doesn’t leach harmful chemicals into your body.  And let’s not forget how aesthetically stunning this rainbow dildo is. I love the look of it. It’s absolutely perfect.

On the other hand, and this is just based on personal experience, I struggled.  A lot. Each and every time. Had the ridge below the head not been there, I think I would have really enjoyed it, probably even come to love it. But for the most part it was an overwhelming experience that left me disappointed in myself. Maybe with time and practice I’ll get to a point where I can take it effortlessly. For now however, I’ll be opting a smaller dildo that isn’t quite as pretty.

If you want to support me and what I do please support my sponsors. Without them I wouldn’t be able to create fun reviews like this one for all of you. That in mind, if you’re looking for quality sex toys at affordable prices be sure to hit up HotCherry, they’ve got great customer service, fast shipping, and carry most of the brands I’ve come to love.  Don’t forget, if you use the links in this review I’ll make a small commission from the sales. It doesn’t make it more expensive for you, but it does allow me to keep doing something I love while letting sponsors know there is value in what I provide.

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HotCherry Sex Toys

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Sex Ed 102: The Best Condoms And Lube For Anal Sex

The Best Condoms And Lube For Anal Sex Header

Question

I recently got into a new relationship and we’re planning on having sex soon (I’m a gay male by the way). The problem is that I’m not that experienced, both with partners and toys (and condoms for that matter).  I’d like some help where lube and condoms are concerned. Do you have any lubes that you’d personally recommend, preferably silicone for anal play?

Also, would you have any flavored lubes that you’d recommend? We’ve tried a bunch of cheap samples we bought at a local novelty store and they were all pretty gross. Most of them were really thick, sickly sweet, and kinda burned our mouths. We obviously don’t need them to have a good time, but sometimes it’s fun to try new things. Any suggestions would be great.

Finally, I’m not that sexually experienced and quite nervous. Do you have any tips for a first timer?

 


 Answer

Whether it’s anal, vaginal, or otherwise, first times can be overwhelming and scary.  Trust me I know, I’ve been there. At some point we all have. With that in mind, the discomfort you may encounter during first time anal sex could be minimum or very intense depending on how relaxed you are. It’s for this reason that I created a post on anal sex tips for beginners, all designed to help make things a bit more comfortable and fun. I suggest reading the full post just so you’re not missing anything. In the meantime, I’ve copied the most valuable info below.

Sh*t Happens… Sometimes.

Before I get into the how-to’s of comfortable butt play, I think it’s worth mentioning the one thing most people are afraid of… having their partner remove whatever they’ve inserted and it being covered in shit. Yes, I really did write that and I really am going there.

The truth of the matter is sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t. It can be as little as a tiny speck or a lot (though that’s usually not the case), sometimes there’s nothing at all. Diet can have an affect, as can how recently your last bowel movement was.  If it’s something you’re really worried about make sure to go beforehand, don’t eat foods that you know make you feel gassy or have to go (avoid fatty, fried, and spicy food as well as caffeine), and try using a quality douche to clean yourself out.

At the end of the day any time you engage in butt play there’s a chance shit will happen. It’s normal, natural, and should be expected. Sure, it can be embarrassing but if you’re having sex with a great lover that’s mature, understanding, and informed, it doesn’t have to be.

Now that that’s said and done let’s get on to questions at hand…

First Time Anal Sex Tips

Before engaging in full anal penetration it’s a good idea to take some time to warm up; relaxing breathing exercises, meditating, and getting comfortable with your partner will prove helpful in the long run. Remember, the more relaxed you are the more relaxed your muscles will be. This will go a long way when it comes to inserting a toy, finger, or penis comfortably.

After you’ve added some lube, add a finger and just a finger; trying to insert a penis right off the bat can be a shock to the system. Likewise, going too fast too soon can cause you to tense up, leading to a painful experience rather then a enjoyable one. By using a finger you prep the body, stretch the muscles, and allow yourself time to get used to the feeling.

Once the finger is inserted, have your partner leave it there until you’re totally comfortable and relaxed. Tell them not to thrust or move it around… just insert it and leave it.

When you’re ready have them slowly remove the finger. Doing it quickly can cause you to tense up, so make sure to go slow. From there I suggest adding more lube and a toy. You’ll want one that’s on the smaller side, flexible, made of 100% silicone, and has a flared base like the Small Tantus Silk (pictured right). This will give you the opportunity to work up to something larger with minimal discomfort.

Whether you decide to continue with a finger, toy, or penis, have them thrust gently in the beginning. Take your time, relax into it, and try to enjoy the moment.

I know we see the people of porn taking it like champs, but they’re trained professionals. It’s what they do for a living.  You’re not expected to take a pounding the first time around. It’ll likely take a few tries, or maybe you won’t ever feel comfortable doing that. Either way, it’s totally okay and normal.

If you’re partner is having a hard time inserting, try doing it doggy style. This may make it easier as you’re the one determining how far it gets inserted and at what speed.  Simply have your partner on their knees staying as still as they can. Then slowly back up onto it. Once they’re inside you can find a pace and depth that’s comfortable for you.

Finally, be gentle with yourself and know that if at any time you want to stop there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s your body, you get to call the shots.

The Best Condoms And Lube For Anal Sex

Silicone Lube Options

Best Condoms and Lube For Anal SexSince the anus doesn’t self lubricate you’re definitely going to want to invest in some good quality lube. Most silicone lubes are very similar; they’re condom compatible, will maintain a slippery consistency and wont dry out like water based lubes, are tasteless and odourless, are glycerin/paraben free, and are great for use in the shower. Personally I use Sliquid Silver, Premium System Jo, Sliquid Silk, or Pjur. They’re all affordable, quality lubes, made by companies I trust.

If you’re wary of pain and want something that will relax your butt without numbing the area (which can be dangerous since you’re unable to feel tearing), I highly suggest Analyse Me Spray by Pjur. I’ve also heard really great things about Intimate Earth Ease Lube (pictured left). Rather than using benzocaine or lidocain (numbing agents), Intimate Earth uses Bisabolol (a component of chamomile essential oil) which will relax the area while also potentially providing anti-irritant, anti-inflammatory, and anti-microbial benefits.

Of course there are some drawbacks to using silicone lubes; they have the potential to stain fabrics, you’ll need soap and water to fully remove them, and they can break down silicone toys. If you’re nervous about ruining a toy just do a patch test on the bottom of it to see if it’ll be an issue.

Best Condoms And Lube For Anal Sex - Pjur Med Natural Glide Water Based LubeWater Based Lube Options

I know you specifically asked for silicone lubes, but I figure it’s always good to have options.

For water based I tend to go with Sliquid H20 because it doesn’t have the shitty chemicals most others do (the people behind the company focus on body safe ingredients so that helps). It also doesn’t get sticky or tacky quickly. It still will a bit, all water based lubes do, but it’s not as bad. If it starts to dry you can easily use spit or water to get it slippery again. When I’m out of Sliquid I use Pjur Med Natural Glide Water Based Lube (pictured right) or Slippery Stuff it’s more of a gel consistency but melts quickly with body heat.

Flavored Lube Options

As for flavored lubes System Jo and Sliquid Swirl are great if you like fruitier flavors. If you’d prefer something that tastes like dessert Wet Warming Desserts and Wicked Sensual Care have the biggest varieties.

Cherry Vanilla Sliquid (pictured left) is my favourite (check my Cherry Vanilla Sliquid Review here). It’s light and fruity with a hint of vanilla. Not at all thick or gross, and didn’t leave a bad after taste.  More than that it didn’t burn my throat or tongue. If you want to sample them before investing in a larger size, the Lip Lickers Cube from Sliquid has 4 different flavours you can try. I can’t recommend Sliquid enough!

Wicked Sensual Care has 10 different dessert flavored lubes with most of them being what you’d typically expect. From Salted Caramel to Vanilla Bean, Cinnamon Bun to Candy Apple, they’ve got all the bases covered. With regard to price points, they come in two different sizes so you don’t have to break the bank if you’re not sure about a flavor.  I find they’re a bit sweeter, not too syrupy (considering the flavors), have a nice consistency (not sticky or tacky), and a little goes a really long way.

Going back to 2010, System Jo made the first flavored lubes I really liked. The flavors are light, the lube isn’t too thick or goopey, and the feeling is more like a slippery silicone lube than water based.  My faves are Chocolate Delight (my review), and Banana Lick. They also just came out with a ‘Candy Shop’ line, I’m excited to try the Cotton Candy and Butterscotch flavors.  There’s a whole bunch more on the System JO website.  If you want a bit more info here’s my review of System Jo fruit flavors.

Condoms I’d Recommend

Condom wise, you’ll likely want one that’s barely there. If neither of you have a latex allergy you should enjoy One Vanish, Skyn, Kimono Micro Thin, and Trojan Bareskin. I’ve tried them all and think they’re some of the best around. You can usually find good deals on the Undercover Condoms website in their ‘bulk’ section.

Even though you’ll be using lube you’ll benefit from lubricated condoms as they’ll reduce any chance of friction. Just make sure not to use one that has Nonoxynol-9 as it can actually increase your chances of contracting an STD/STI. Also, don’t go for Magnums unless you absolutely need the larger size.  An improper fit can slip off during intercourse, which defeats the purpose of wearing it in the first place.  If you’re not sure what size will work best for your needs, this condom sizing guide should help. There’s also my succinct beginners condom guide.

Hopefully this post helped you to not only find a lube and condoms that works for your needs, but also gave you some valuable information on how to make your first time an enjoyable one.

I linked you to the places I shop online, support and trust. If you’d prefer to shop somewhere for reasons of discretion I’ve also linked to Amazon. If you find any of the products I’ve mentioned cheaper elsewhere please let me know so I can pass on the savings other readers.

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The Best Cyber Monday & Black Friday Sex Toy Deals 2018

Black Friday Sex Toy Deals 2018Scrolling through website after website for the best Black Friday sex toy deals can be really daunting, I’ve been there too. So, as a token of my appreciation for all the support over the years, I’m taking away the guess work and posting all my favorite sales below. Rest assured you won’t find them listed cheaper anywhere else (unless I’ve missed a sale, and if I did, let me know and I’ll update the page).

Like previous years I’ve done my best to streamline sales to make bargain hunting easier for you… but this year I took it a step further and split the ‘highlights’ into three sections: general black friday sex toy deals, BDSM, and strokers/masturbators (because my readers with dicks deserve great deals too!).

That said, if you’ve got time to spare, I highly suggest doing a quick scroll through all the deals on the page – that way you’ll be sure to get exactly what you want at the best prices. As an added bonus, if you’re like me and hate shopping from multiple sites, I went ahead and bundled sales on the same site from my fave retailers (where I could) so you’ll also save on shipping.

Beware, the list this year is long and surprisingly detailed… that’s what happens when I spend a week jumping between sites, comparing prices, emailing manufacturers for advance notice, and doing my damnedest to help you save!

Want to thank me for hooking you up? Just remember to clear your cookies and cache before you link to your favorite store, that way you can be sure I’ll make a tiny commission anytime you shop. It’s not a lot of money, but it’s enough to keep me doing something I love while helping you along the way.

*all prices are in USD unless otherwise specified

Black Friday Sex Toy Deals Highlights

If you don’t feel like scrolling over the whole page, or if you’re easily overwhelmed by big posts, here’s a no bullshit list of the very best deals I could find for some of the MOST COVETED products…

**(After you ‘proceed to checkout’ use the coupon codes for the discounts to apply – the websites wont automatically adjust the prices until you do this)

Black Friday Sex Toy Deals: BDSM Highlights 2018

For those of you into BDSM, I put together an extra little section so you wouldn’t have to hunt around online. Personally I think this list has enough stuff to help you get started, or add to your repertoire. I’ll be adding more as I find them, but for now this should do.

**(After you ‘proceed to checkout’ use the coupon codes for the discounts to apply – the websites wont automatically adjust the prices until you do this)

For My Readers w/ Dicks & Prostates

Just because you have a dick doesn’t mean you should be left out. That in mind, here’s all the best deals on masturbators, sex dolls, cock rings, prostate toys, and penis enhancers I could find. Hopefully it’ll help you find something that’ll work for your needs.

**(After you ‘proceed to checkout’ use the coupon codes for the discounts to apply – the websites wont automatically adjust the prices until you do this)

For those of you interested in doing all your shopping in one place (as opposed to grabbing different toys at different places just so you can save more), I’ve listed the best sales at my favorite retailers and manufacturers below. Feel free to scroll through to the bottom and see which retailer/manufacturer suits your needs.

 


Vibrant

Black Friday Sex Toy DealsVibrant was the new kid on the block in last years round up, and I gotta say, I still really love what they do. Their customer service is superb, all of the stock is quality with an attention paid to body safety, prices are more than reasonable, navigating the site is easy, the product listing and design are gender neutral, and most importantly they’re inspired and backed by Planned Parenthood. I know for some of you that may not be a reason to shop with them, but to me, a company that supports a ‘happy and safe sex life, free from stigma and judgment‘ while also giving back to a program that’s desperately needed, is good enough for me. ‘Nuff said.

Politics aside, from the highly coveted Njoy Stainless Steel Pure Butt Plug to my absolute favorite We-Vibe Tango clit vibe, the raved about Hot Octopuss Pulse III Solo Masturbator to the ridiculously comfortable Liberator Wedge, Vibrant has some of the very best Black Friday sex toys deals going this weekend. I’ve listed all of my favorites below.

Enjoy free shipping on purchases $50+, prices quoted are with the coupon code BLACKFRIDAY18 applied at the checkout.

  • I’ve been asked many times over the years what my go-to sex toys are, and without a doubt the Njoy Stainless Steel Pure Wand ($82.50) is within my list of top 3. It’s body safe, provides amazing g-spot stimulation, and is one of the only toys that has made me squirt repeatedly.
  • With the holidays right around the corner the JimmyJane After Dark Gift Set ($149.25) is one of the nicer options around. Discreetly packaged in a professional looking box, the JimmyJane set includes a limited edition red Form 2 Vibrator, Countour M message stone, and Afterglow candle (cocoa/fig scent).
  • If you’re looking for another clit vibe that’s discreet, powerful, rechargeable, easy to use, non-toxic, and quiet, you’ll definitely want to grab a We-Vibe Tango ($79). It’s by far one of my absolute favorite sex toys, ever. Looking to save big? There’s also the We-Vibe Sync & Tango Anniversary Collection ($171.95, regular $229) which includes the We-Vibe Tango and the We-Vibe Sync couples vibe (sold separately it’s regular $199). Honestly, at that price the kit is a steal. Just an FYI, if you ONLY want the kit and aren’t doing any other shopping, PinkCherry has it for $131.97.
  • When it comes to masturbators for those with dicks, the Hot Octopuss Pulse III Solo Masturbator ($89.25) has some of the best reviews for a stroker that isn’t the Fleshlight. On that note, I know a lot of you are on a budget; if you don’t want to shell out the big bucks you can snag a 6 pack of Tenga Masturbation Eggs for only $33.75.
  • For those with limited mobility, back pain, or issues with your knees or wrists, I can’t recommend Liberator sex furniture enough. Right now the Liberator wedge (my favorite piece, regular $90) is only $67.50, or you can snag a Liberator Wedge/Ramp Combo (regular $235, now only $176.25), and save an extra $22.50 over if you purchased them separately.
  • For those that are new to vaginal and/or anal insertion, suffer from painful intercourse, or are looking for a decent set of dilators to use as vaginal trainers, the Inspire 5 Piece Dilator Set by CalExotics ($59.25) is a must have. This silky smooth kit contains 5 dilators that gradually increase in size with looped ends that make them easy to insert and remove, while also making them suitable for anal use.
  • Last but definitely not least, the Minna Ola Squeeze Activated Vibrator is only $81.95 (other sites have it listed for $140+)

Don’t forget to use code ‘BLACKFRIDAY18‘ when you check out to get prices I’ve listed.

6 Pack Tenga Egga

Black Friday Sex Toy Deals 2018

Dilator Set

Liberator Wedge

Black Friday Sex Toy Sales

Minna Ola Vibe

JimmyJane Form 2 Set

Njoy Pure Wand

Hot Octopuss III

We-Vibe Tango

nJoy Pure Plug

Wedge/Ramp Combo

 

 



I’ll be honest, I’ve loved SheVibe since the very first day I saw their website 8+ years ago; the graphics are amazing, the prices are on the lower end compared to other sex toys retailers, the site itself is ridiculously easy to navigate, they focus on carrying body safe options, and the customer service is fabulous.

Like last year SheVibe is doing a straight forward tiered sale deal which means the more you buy the more you save. Truthfully, you’ll find better prices on single items elsewhere, but you likely won’t find the same amazing selection. They’ve got just about all of my favorite independent manufacturers and lesser known brands in one place; Crystal Delights, Godemiche, Funkit Toys, BS Is Nice, Hole Punch, Lumberjill, Pop by the Semenette, Chrystalino, DoDil, Sili Saddle, Split Peaches, Uberrime, Vixen Creations, and Pleasure Works.

Get 10% off when you spend $75+, plus free shipping (use code ‘JINGLE10’)

Get 15% off when you spend $100+, plus free shipping (use code ‘JINGLE15’)

Get 20% off when you spend $125+, plus free shipping, (use code ‘JINGLE20’)

 

– The Perfect G-Spot Combo

Njoy Pure Wand

Liberator Decor Throe

Decor Throe

Sliquid H2O Water Based Lube

Sliquid H20

I’ve posted this combo every year because it’s just do damn good… pair the definitive g-spot ‘dildo’, Njoy Pure Wand $99.99 + Liberator Decor Throe for $89.99 or any of the Liberator Throes for that matter, + 4.2oz bottle of Sliquid H2O $10.99, for a grand total of $200.97… then use code ‘JINGLE20‘ at checkout and save 20%, bringing your total down to $160.77 plus free shipping! That’s a total of $40.20 in savings versus buying at regular price! Honestly, if I could pick any combo of toys to give someone, this one would be it. If you’re a squirter you’ll thank me for this later. Promise.

*prices shown include applicable discounts from using coupon codes
  • If you love unique toys made by hand, you’ll definitely want to take a look at Hole Punch Toys (check out my interview with them), right now I’m lusting after the absolutely stunning Hole Punch Evolver Silicone Dildo for $175 (reg $219), and their Carrot and Radish butt plugs. Yes, you read that right. They make veggie shaped butt plugs.
  • When it comes to wood toys, NobEssence is where it’s at – I can haz a Seduction for only $116.79?
  • For those of you that love the feel of silicone and want something bright, colorful, and fun, I think the lovelies made by BS Is Nice might be right up your alley. I honestly love all their designs, but I think they make some of the very best Rainbow Sex Toys around!
  • Last but not least, I can’t speak highly enough about Vixen Creations – everything they make is just perfection.

 

Hole Punch Carrot Plug

Hole Punch Carrot

Nobessence Seduction

Hole Punch Evolver

Funkit Cashew Nib

BS is Nice Pride

Vixen Raquel

Crystal Delights Plug

Godemiche Ambit

BS is Nice Bingo

Hole Punch Rad-ish


 

There are two Black Friday sex toy deals currently happening on the Pinkcherry website;

The first is the blowout section – everything here is WAY cheaper than you’ll find elsewhere (in most cases you’re looking at 80% less than other retailers). Everything here can be reduced an additional 50% with the coupon code BLOWOUT50. If you do choose to shop in this section make sure to pay attention to the quaity of the toys, not all of them are made of body safe materials; you’ll want to stick with pure silicone (not a blend), stainless steel, tempered glass, ABS plastic (think hard vibrators), ceramic, and wood. Avoid jelly/rubber at all costs; it stinks (literally), it sweats out harmful chemicals into your mucuous membranes, absorbs bacteria like lube and bodily fluids, and it can’t be fully sterilized.

The second is the regular part of the site – use the coupon code BLACK40 to save 40% on regular priced sex toys. There’s A LOT to choose from, so to help you find the absolute best deals I’ve listed them all below.

One thing to note, you can’t combine the codes. If you choose to shop in both sections of the site you’ll have to place two separate orders. After you ‘proceed to checkout’ use the coupon code for the discounts to apply – the website wont automatically adjust the prices until you do this.

 

Blowout section Black Friday Sex Toy Deals (coupon code BLOWOUT50):

*prices shown include applicable discounts from using coupon codes

Don’t forget to use code ‘BLOWOUT50‘ when you check out to get prices I’ve listed.

 

Regularly priced Black Friday Sex Toy Deals (coupon code BLACK40):

*prices shown include applicable discounts from using coupon codes
  • When it comes to hand held massagers the Original Magic Wand ($35) is where it’s at. For years it was a go-to for anyone looking for a powerfully deep and rumbly, yet discreet, vibrator. Then came the Rechargeable Magic Wand ($101.67), a very similar version with one main difference; no cord chaining you to a specific location. Personally I’m happy with the original version, but for those that like to switch things up, or those with limited power outlets, the Rechargeable version will do just as well (maybe better).
  • JimmyJane has been hit and miss over the years, but one things for certain, the JimmyJane Pure UV Sanitizing Mood Light with Tre Vibe in Purple ($94.92) is probably one of my favorite things right now. It’s a mood light. It’s a charger for the Tre Vibe (or any of the JimmyJane Love Pods). And it’s a sanitizer. Honestly, what more could you ask for?! The entire kit and caboodle includes a Pure UV Sanitizing Mood Light, USB power cord, 2 plastic cradles for Form 2 and Love Pod vibes, and the Love Pod Tre Massager in purple.
  • The We-Vibe Tango is only $64.38, that’s a steal for one of the very best clit vibes available. I have 3 of them so there’s always one charged and ready to go. That should say something.
  • Again, my penis envy has forced me to list the following;
  • If you’re into a little BDSM Pinkcherry has some decent sales this weekend; you can snag an Adjustable Spreader Bar for only $27. Need a sturdy but portable place to bind your partner? The Strict Bondage Board provides 14 separate D-ring attachments that can be connected to cuffs, leashes, tethers and more ($180). For those that like weightless sex, or just trying new things, the Strict Extreme Sling and Stand Kit ($360) gives you the freedom to play and experiment without worrying about damaging the walls or ceiling (supports up to 300 pounds).

Don’t forget to use code ‘BLACK40‘ when you check out to get prices I’ve listed.


 

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