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Beginners Guide: Everything You Need To Know About The Hymen

For The Beginner, For The Ladies, Sex Ed 102


indexContrary to what most of us grew up believing, the hymen is not a flat piece of skin covering the opening of the vagina only to be torn apart or punctured while having sex for the first time. If that were true, there would be no way for menstrual blood to exit the vagina during a period. For all its fabled mystery, the hymen is a body part like any other.

Having said that, hymens come in many shapes and sizes; some are thick and some are thin, some have tiny punctures while others are one singular hole, some look as if they have a series of tears in them, others look like they’ve been split down the middle, and some aren’t born with one at all. That’s just the beginning. Like all body parts, each hymen is unique to the person that owns it.

For those new to sex positive education, interested in learning about their body or the bodies of others, this post should cover everything you need to know about the hymen.

What does your hymen look like?

everything you need to know about the hymen - vulva diagramIf you’re curious about what your hymen looks like, following these steps should make the process much easier:

What you’ll need: a mirror, preferably one that sits on a stand (if you can get one that magnifies, even better), a place you feel comfortable where you have some privacy, and a flashlight.

  • Prop yourself up against something stable while sitting on the floor (a bed, wall, couch – something that wont shift) and spread your legs so that your comfortable and able to lean forward (this will allow you to look in the mirror closer if need be).
  • Position the mirror between your legs so you have a full view of your genitals.
  • Once comfortable, slowly spread the lips of your vulva (labia majora and minora) with one of your free hands.
  • When looking keep in mind the hymen is usually located 1 – 2 cm inside the vaginal opening, not deep inside the vaginal canal.

If you find a thin layer of skin with a small hole (or holes) present, your hymen is most likely ‘intact’. If you notice small traces of broken skin surrounding your vaginal opening, you may have already stretched or broken your hymen.

Regardless of what you find it’s normal, natural, and nothing to be freaked out by.  If you do happen to have any concerns try talking to a parent, trusted knowledgeable adult or friend, doctor, searching trusted sex education sites online, or reading informational sex ed books.

Below are examples of various hymens which can act as a guide to help you find yours.

Dispelling Common Hymen Myths

  • Although it isn’t very common (about 1 in 200 people), some hymens cover the entire vaginal opening. This is usually detected at an early age, as it causes a constant abdominal pain, and usually requires surgical treatment. This type of hymen is called an “Imperforate hymen”.
  • Contrary to popular belief a person can get pregnant even if the hymen is intact. As such I suggest you remember to use a form of birth control while having sex. *An intact hymen covers the entrance of the vagina, but does not seal it. There is still an opening to let the monthly cycle (period) escape the body, therefore sperm is still able to pass through.
  • When the hymen tears, which may or may not happen, it can occur during exercise, tampon use, masturbation, or sexual activity.
  • Most of the membrane is already worn away when a person finally has intercourse, and it plays little to no role in the discomfort they may experience.
  • Bleeding the first time a person has sex does not necessarily mean that the hymen ‘broke’. Instead, bleeding during sex could be caused by tense vaginal muscles, a rushed entry, lack of lubrication, or abrasions inside the vaginal canal, among many other things. On that note, if a person doesn’t bleed the first time they have sex it doesn’t necessarily mean that the hymen did not tear.
  • Hymens are elastic in nature and vary in their elasticity from one body to another, which means that the breakage process also differs.

 

Everything You Need To Know About The Hymen: Random Hymen Facts

  • The name comes from the ancient Greek for “hymenaeus,” which means “vaginal-flap.” It was also the name for the Greek god of marriage, later also the Greek god of membranes; “Hymenaios.”
  • Due to similar reproductive system development, many mammals, including chimpanzees, elephants, manatees, whales, and horses retain hymens.
  • In the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, medical researchers used the presence of the hymen, or lack thereof, as founding evidence of physical diseases such as “womb-fury” (hysteria). If not cured, womb-fury would, according to these early doctors, result in death.

As we all know knowledge is power, having accurate information about the hymen can help to normalize a persons fears about their body, sexuality, sexual experiences, and help promote greater self-confidence and acceptance.

Hopefully through watching the video your questions will be answered and you’ll gather some valuable insight about the hymen, along with changing your views on the perceptions associated with it.

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Sex Ed 102 Q&A: Should I Shave My Pubic Hair?

For The Beginner, Q & A, Sex Ed 102

Question:

I just started getting hot and heavy with a partner after being single for 3 years and keep finding magazine articles on pubic hair and shaving, which is really intimidating. I’ve never done it so I’m not sure what’s “right” or “wrong”, hell, I haven’t even figured out if I’d like the way I look totally bare down there! I’m totally lost! Should I shave my pubic hair?

Do you have any suggestions or advice that could help?

 Answer

Before I get into it I just want to stress that shaving your pubic hair is not required or necessary for an intimate, fun, and respectful sexual experience. It is a choice that only you can make and shouldn’t feel pressured to do, even by society.

When it comes to maintaining pubic hair, everyone is different. Like clothing or hairstyle, it’s a matter of individual preference. Some people don’t do anything with their pubic hair, leaving it to grow naturally. Some only remove hair when they’ll be wearing a bathing suit or engaging in intimate activities, and some remove hair regularly as part of their routine. As I said, it’s a decision that’s totally left up to you.

One thing I do want for you to keep in mind is that there are no real health benefits associated with removing pubic hair, so choose what feels right for you.

If you do decide to bare it all these are some tips and tricks I think you might find helpful;

First a few Warnings…

  • Never use the old-fashioned straight edge razor. It is unsuitable for pubic hair removal and can be dangerous.
  • Never use a razor on bare skin, it can cause razor burn and be especially painful.
  • Don’t share your razors — this can spread skin infections.
  • Never use a hair removal cream like Nair, it can get into the vagina and cause serious pain not to mention possible infections.

As for tips and tricks…

  • Opt for a more expensive good quality razor rather than a cheap throw away which is more likely to cause nicks, soreness and razor burns in this sensitive area.
  • If the pubic hair is thick and long use small scissors to trim down the hair to about a quarter of an inch. This will avoid blunting and clogging the razor too quickly.
  • Alternatively, take a long hot bath or stay in the shower for a while making sure the pubic area is soaked well. Pubic hair is coarser than the hair on your head and needs more time to soften.
  • Apply plenty of shaving foam or gel over the area and leave for a few minutes to soften further. Ordinary soap is not suitable as it does not lock in the moisture to the hair the way a shaving cream or gel does.
  • Make sure there is shaving foam on the skin each time you make a stroke with the razor.
  • Rinse the razor every couple of strokes as it will clog easily.
  • To make pubic hair removal less stressful for the skin, massage unscented Vitamin E oil into the pubic area after shaving.


Other Options:

If however you’re not into the idea of shaving you may be interested in any of the other options available like;

  • Waxing: It can hurt, particularly when one is new to the method, but leaves the area pretty smooth, and lasts one to six weeks, depending on the person. If you’re really brave, you can get waxing kits online for decent prices.
  • Electrolysis: Usually done by a professional, but there are home electrolysis systems as well. It may take a long time, usually a minimum of six treatments before the job is done. It is probably the most popular choice for permanent hair removal. One hair is removed at a time.
  • Epilators — A machine that yanks the hair out, roots and all. Lasts one to six weeks. Personal note: I did this once on a dare and let me tell you it hurts like hell!!! I don’t advise it… but it is an option. If you’re brave you can find home epilators here.
  • Lasers — Extremely fast, and usually less pain than with electrolysis. Effects are long lasting and may be permanent after several sessions.
  • Stencils – If you prefer to keep some hair down there you could always just trim it. Or if you want to have some fun, you could use a stencil specifically designed for pubic hair.


So that’s pretty much it. Hopefully between the video and written content you’ll be shaving your hair like a pro… or maybe you’re totally comfortable with it as is, and if that’s the case MORE POWER TO YOU!

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Clitoral Stimulation Techniques

For The Beginner, For The Guys, For The Ladies, Tips, Tricks and Suggestions

 

clitoris diagramFor those of you curious about clitoral stimulation techniques, including tips in regard to stimulating it during intercourse, as well as a few other facts that you may not know, this video should fill you in and hopefully help you find out what will work best for you.

Clitoris Facts

  • The clitoris serves no other purpose than providing sexual pleasure. In fact it is the only organ in the human body that exists solely for pleasure.
  • There are around eight thousand nerve endings within the clitoris, which is part of what makes it so sensitive.
  • Contrary to popular belief, the clitoris is much larger then people assume. Like a miniature penis, the clitoris consists of a rounded tip (the glans, think of the head of the penis), attached to a longer part (the shaft). The shaft has two “arms” that stretch backwards into the woman’s body, under the skin on either side above the vaginal opening. This picture shows the similarities between the clitoris and penis quite well.
  • Nerves controlling clitoral muscle contractions travel alongside the walls of the vagina, the bladder and urethra, passing along the sensations produced from orgasm or stimulation.  Which is why when a female experiences an orgasm during sex, the guy having sex with her will feel a throbbing or pulsing sensation inside her vagina.
  • When a person becomes sexually aroused, the clitoris fills with blood and increases in size just like a penis. After orgasm, the clitoris will return to its normal size. If the person doesn’t have an orgasm, the blood may remain there for a few hours and cause discomfort. This is pretty much the equivalent of “blue balls”.

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Male Sexual Response Cycle

For The Beginner, For The Guys


Today’s video is going to cover the Male Sexual Response Cycle. For those that haven’t seen it, I created another video for the ladies to help them learn about their bodies and they way it reacts when a female goes through the phases. If you haven’t seen it yet, I suggest you check it out.

I’m hoping that through watching this video all of my viewers will not only become better educated in regard to their own body, but also will have a better sexual experience because of it.

The Phases Of The Male Sexual Response Cycle:

Male Sexual Response Cycle1.) Arousal / Excitement: This phase begins when your body first begins to respond to sexual stimulation.

Physical reactions like the following can be expected:

  • an increase in heart rate
  • flushing of the face and/or neck
  • nipples becoming hard
  • partial raising of the testicles
  • erection of the penis

2.) Plateau: This is the stage where your body is highly aroused and on the verge of orgasm.

Physical reactions like the following can be expected:

  • everything that happens during the first stage continues and increases
  • testicles will enlarge and be fully raised
  • a few drops of pre-cum will be secreted by the Cowpers glands. (This precum is meant to lubricate the urethra, as well as clean out any bacteria that may have been left behind)

3.) Orgasm / Climax:

This phase tends to be slightly different between men and women, with the men experiencing it in two parts; the first tends to be a moment of inevitability characterized by sensations that mark the point of no return with contractions occurring in the testicles, prostate and seminal vesicles. The in second part is the ejaculation of sperm due to contractions in the urethra and penis. Typically the actual orgasm lasts less than one minute for most males.

4.) Resolution: the body slowly returns to normal:

Unlike the female, who can be responsive to stimulation even after orgasm and even have multiple orgasms, the male typically goes through a period of unresponsiveness or a refractory period where he is no longer able to be aroused and needs some time before he can get another erection and orgasm. Tho this is true for most males, its not true for every one.

I do highly suggest that you take the time to learn about your body, either during masturbation or intercourse and see if you can identify the phases as you are going through them, which will in turn help you to become a better lover.

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Redefining Virginity

For The Beginner, Health & Wellness, Sexuality


Over the course of the last 2 years I have spent much time debating whether or not to make this video. The reason for the debate was that ones “virginity” and the term itself, are hard to define in today’s society. As such, I thought that I would instead make a video that opened the doors of communication to help you define for yourself what being a Virgin, and Virginity are.

The word/term “Virgin” as defined by;

The Free Dictionary

1. A person who has not experienced sexual intercourse.
2. A chaste or unmarried woman; a maiden.
3. An unmarried woman who has taken religious vows of chastity.

Random House Dictionary

1. a person who has never had sexual intercourse.
2. an unmarried girl or woman.
3. Ecclesiastical. an unmarried, religious woman, esp. a saint.

Online Etymology Dictionary

c.1200, “unmarried or chaste woman noted for religious piety and having a position of reverence in the Church,” from O.Fr. virgine, from L. virginem (nom. virgo) “maiden, unwedded girl or woman,” also an adj., “fresh, unused,” probably related to virga “young shoot.” For sense evolution, cf. Gk. talis “a marriageable girl,” cognate with L. talea “rod, stick, bar.” Meaning “young woman in a state of inviolate chastity” is recorded from c.1310. Also applied since c.1330 to a chaste man. Meaning “naive or inexperienced person” is attested from 1953. The adj. is recorded from 1560 in the lit. sense; fig. sense of “pure, untainted” is attested from c.1300.

Wikipedia

Virginity refers to the state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse. There are cultural and religious traditions which place special value and significance on this state, especially in the case of unmarried females, associated with notions of personal purity, honor and worth. Like chastity, the concept of virginity has traditionally involved sexual abstinence before marriage, and then to engage in sexual acts only with the marriage partner.

Unlike the term premarital sex, which can refer to more than one occasion of sexual activity and can be judgment neutral, the concept of virginity usually involves moral or religious issues and can have consequences in terms of social status and in interpersonal relationships.

The term originally only referred to sexually inexperienced women, but has evolved to encompass a range of definitions, as found in traditional, modern, and ethical concepts.[1][2][3][4] Heterosexual individuals may or may not consider loss of virginity to occur only through penile-vaginal penetration,[1][3][4] while people of other sexual orientations may include oral sex, anal sex or mutual masturbation in their definitions of losing one’s virginity.[3][5][6] Further, whether a person can lose his or her virginity through rape is also subject to debate, with the belief that virginity can only be lost through consensual sex being prevalent in some studies.[2]

Feel free to comment on what you believe the terms mean, and how they apply to you or society. Please also feel free to throw in any information that I did not mention in regard to the term or words presented and how they may have changed over time.

 

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