Archive | May, 2010

Getting Into the Sex Toy World ~ Part 1 ~ Building Your Blog

Hey Everyone <3

If there is one thing that I am constantly asked its “how can I do what you do?”…while I’d like to give a simple answer, unfortunately there isn’t one. I’ve gotten to where I am by working hard, paying my dues and dealing with a lot of bullshit along the way. I’ve spent 3 years dedicating myself to making videos and done my very best to keep what I do honest, reliable, fun, educational and up to date.

That said, while making videos on the topic of sex/sexuality isn’t something I can give much help on (since it’s all a matter of perspective, comfort level and education), what I can help you with is becoming a sex toy reviewer and/or making some money on the side selling products online.

Over the next few weeks I’ll be writing a weekly blog dedicated to different aspects of the Sex Toy industry that are geared to helping you find great companies to work with, learning how to write a sex toy review, finding companies that will send you toys for either a really low price or free and helping you learn how to link/market them to your potential customers.

As I’ve said before, it’s not easy…but if you have a passion for doing something you love, helping others discover great toys, learning about their body, becoming comfortable in their sexuality and aren’t too interested in keeping up with the Joneses (i.e. you don’t really give a shit what people think) then this is a great way to get into the business…

Now that that’s out of the way, lets get started!

Creating a Blog for Reviewing Toys

Before I even begin I have to stress one thing; in order to receive toys and make money through affiliated sales you have to be the legal age within the Country you/the company resides. For the most part if you’re 18 you should be fine. That said, it’s always best to check what the legal age is before getting started.

The first thing you’re going to need in order to review toys is a blog; it doesn’t have to be flashy, sophisticated or highly technical ~ it just needs to be a site that allows you to add links, pictures, post “adult” themed content, be cheap (if not free) and relatively easy to use/update.

To help you out these are a list of sites that I suggest simply because they have all of the above needed features and are completely FREE! With most of them you have the option of paying for the upgrade, but it’s not necessary when you’re first getting started.

WordPress – http://www.wo rdpress.com/

Blogger – http://www.blogger.com/

Blog – http://www.blog.com/

Livejournal – http://www.li vejournal.com/

Of course there are many more but these are the ones I tend to frequent most simply because they have been the easiest for me to navigate. On that note, you don’t need to sign up for all of them (unless you want to) just posting to one will suffice. That said, if you want to take on the challenge of managing more then one blog feel free, just know it will be time consuming and may quickly become overwhelming.

*Quick note – when it comes to entering your user information make sure that you have chosen a username that you like and want to actually use. Some sites don’t allow you to change it after you’ve hit the send/accept key and then you’re pretty much stuck with it.

*Also, if you’re trying to remain anonymous on the web don’t pick a nickname that people know you by, instead go by something that’s rarely ever come out of your mouth. That way if someone decides to do a random search you’re more likely to stay hidden.

Customizing your Blog

Once you’ve found a site that you like and have received your confirmation that it’s up and running, feel free to take some time and see how it works. Press buttons, go through pages, experiment, accept, delete; basically just see what things do and have fun. Don’t expect to be able to manipulate the site the moment you sign up, that rarely ever happens. Instead take the necessary time to allow yourself to figure things out and if you get overwhelmed don’t forget, you can always do a search the problem you’re having and more often then not find an answer.

After you’ve gotten comfortable with the way the site works and think you have a good idea of how to change things, spend some time customizing the site. Make it something that is easy on the eyes, easy to read and navigate, highlights the things you want to show and is something that you feel is a good representation of you/your alter ego: remember you’re building your “brand”.

If you find that you’re having some problems with coming up with a background or color scheme there are sites online that can help you find just what you’re looking for. One of my personal favourites is ColorLovers, it’s great or coming up with color schemes and finding combinations you might never have thought of – http://www.colourlovers.com/

*If you’re still not sure what type of look you’re going for take some time and go through other bloggers/reviewers/companies sites and find features that you like then see if they fit for what you’re trying to do. Just do you’re best not to copy others too much, unfortunately some people do take offense to that. Also, make sure that you NEVER take someone else’s review without permission and if you do, never claim that it is your own.

Here are some examples of reviewers that I LOVE!

Pop My Cherry – http://popmycherryreview.com/

Epiphora – http://www.heyepiphora.com/about/

Essin ‘Em – http ://essin-em.com/

AAG – http://aagblog.com/

Garnet Joyce – http://askgarnet.com/

Brit Is Shameless – http://britisshameless.com/

Tristan Toramino – http://www.puckerup.com/EN/home/

Ducky Dolittle – http://duckydoolittle.com/

Pleasurists – http://pleasurists.com/

The Beautiful Kind – http://thebeautifulkind.com/

(there are many more, which I’m sure you can find links for on each of the above mentioned pages)

The Bare Necessities

Once you’ve got your design figured out you’ll want to start adding headers and categories for all the reviews/articles/posts you’ll be creating.

Some things you may want to include in your blog are:

An About section (and header)
-this section lets the reader know about you, who you are, what you do and how you got into it. You can divulge as little or as much as you’d like. Just remember to keep things like you’re real name, address, phone number and personal info out of the picture for safety reasons.

A Reviews section (broken into subcategories if possible)
– this is where you will place all your reviews for your readers to easily find. If you are able to break it into sub categories (i.e. vibrators, dildos, butt toys, lubes) you’ll be able to help you’re reader find what they are looking for without much of a struggle.

A Contact section (and header)
– this is where you post the information for companies, readers, fans and friends to get in touch with you. I suggest you create a secondary email account that is specifically used only for this. Your safety is important!

A Links &/or Resources &/or Advertising section (and header)
-this is where you’ll put the links to companies that you are an affiliate for, resources like websites you’re on and promote, as well as provide information about your advertising rates (when the time comes)

*Of course you can always add more categories/pages as you feel necessary. These are just the basics that I think should be present in every toy review blog.

Wrapping It Up

I don’t think there is much else I can tell you in regard to getting started and setting up your blog, especially where the very basics are concerned. As I said, it does take some time and will require that you fiddle around a bit until you find something that works for you and that you really like.

Just remember, if you find you get stuck or start o get overwhelmed don’t worry, we’ve all been there and when you don’t have a tech person to do the tech work for you it’s just part of the process. Take a breather, step away from the computer and come back to it when your ready…just be patient…it will come in time.

For those of you that already have a blog up and running, next week I’ll be focusing on setting up affiliations (that’s where you can make money), linking you to great companies, helping you fill out forms and getting you ready to start writing reviews.

*I’d start with writing the reviews but if you have nothing to link to in your post, it’s almost silly.

If you have any questions about setting up your blog do your best to find the answers online, if you can’t feel free to send me a message and I’ll do what I can to help.

Hope your having a great afternoon!

Kara_Sutra <3

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Beginners Guide: Everything You Need To Know About The Hymen

For The Beginner, For The Ladies, Sex Ed 102

Contrary to what most of us grew up believing, the hymen is not a flat piece of skin covering the opening of the vagina only to be torn apart or punctured while having sex for the first time. If that were true, there would be no way for menstrual blood to exit the vagina during a period. For all its fabled mystery, the hymen is a body part like any other.

Having said that, hymens come in many shapes and sizes; some are thick and some are thin, some have tiny punctures while others are one singular hole, some look as if they have a series of tears in them, others look like they’ve been split down the middle, and some aren’t born with one at all. That’s just the beginning. Like all body parts, each hymen is unique to the person that owns it.

For those new to sex positive education, interested in learning about their body or the bodies of others, this post should cover everything you need to know about the hymen.

What does your hymen look like?

If you’re curious about what your hymen looks like, following these steps should make the process much easier:

What you’ll need: a mirror, preferably one that sits on a stand (if you can get one that magnifies, even better), a place you feel comfortable where you have some privacy, and a flashlight.

Prop yourself up against something stable while sitting on the floor (a bed, wall, couch – something that wont shift) and spread your legs so that your comfortable and able to lean forward (this will allow you to look in the mirror closer if need be).

Position the mirror between your legs so you have a full view of your genitals.

Once comfortable, slowly spread the lips of your vulva (labia majora and minora) with one of your free hands.

When looking keep in mind the hymen is usually located 1 – 2 cm inside the vaginal opening, not deep inside the vaginal canal.

If you find a thin layer of skin with a small hole (or holes) present, your hymen is most likely ‘intact’. If you notice small traces of broken skin surrounding your vaginal opening, you may have already stretched or broken your hymen.

Regardless of what you find it’s normal, natural, and nothing to be freaked out by. If you do happen to have any concerns try talking to a parent, trusted knowledgeable adult or friend, doctor, searching trusted sex education sites online, or reading informational sex ed books.

Below are examples of various hymens which can act as a guide to help you find yours.

Dispelling Common Hymen Myths

Although it isn’t very common (about 1 in 200 people), some hymens cover the entire vaginal opening. This is usually detected at an early age, as it causes a constant abdominal pain, and usually requires surgical treatment. This type of hymen is called an “Imperforate hymen”.

Contrary to popular belief a person can get pregnant even if the hymen is intact. As such I suggest you remember to use a form of birth control while having sex. *An intact hymen covers the entrance of the vagina, but does not seal it. There is still an opening to let the monthly cycle (period) escape the body, therefore sperm is still able to pass through.

When the hymen tears, which may or may not happen, it can occur during exercise, tampon use, masturbation, or sexual activity.

Most of the membrane is already worn away when a person finally has intercourse, and it plays little to no role in the discomfort they may experience.

Bleeding the first time a person has sex does not necessarily mean that the hymen ‘broke’. Instead, bleeding during sex could be caused by tense vaginal muscles, a rushed entry, lack of lubrication, or abrasions inside the vaginal canal, among many other things. On that note, if a person doesn’t bleed the first time they have sex it doesn’t necessarily mean that the hymen did not tear.

Hymens are elastic in nature and vary in their elasticity from one body to another, which means that the breakage process also differs.

Everything You Need To Know About The Hymen: Random Hymen Facts

The name comes from the ancient Greek for “hymenaeus,” which means “vaginal-flap.” It was also the name for the Greek god of marriage, later also the Greek god of membranes; “Hymenaios.”

Due to similar reproductive system development, many mammals, including chimpanzees, elephants, manatees, whales, and horses retain hymens.

In the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, medical researchers used the presence of the hymen, or lack thereof, as founding evidence of physical diseases such as “womb-fury” (hysteria). If not cured, womb-fury would, according to these early doctors, result in death.

As we all know knowledge is power, having accurate information about the hymen can help to normalize a persons fears about their body, sexuality, sexual experiences, and help promote greater self-confidence and acceptance.

Hopefully through watching the video your questions will be answered and you’ll gather some valuable insight about the hymen, along with changing your views on the perceptions associated with it.

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Review: The Lelo Ina

Dual "Rabbit Style" Vibes, Lelo, Product Reviews, Vibes

For those of you not in the loop Lelo makes a line of products that could definitely be classified as “luxury” toys. They’re made of FDA approved materials (silicone and hard ABS plastic), making them phthalate and latex free, seamless (allows for a painless insertion), rechargeable, professionally packaged, easy to care for, very powerful and come with a 1 year warranty, along with a 10 year quality guarantee! Seriously, if there was a line that was worthy of the price tag – Lelo would be one of them.

The Good

As for the Ina, there were many features that impressed me;

It’s very professional packaged. The box is both colorful and pretty with nothing on it that screams “SEX TOY!” – no nudity, profanity, it’s not cheaply packaged, nor is there anything that would otherwise make you recoil at the sight of it. The box itself is “designer” in appearance and could easily be mistaken for an unknown high-tech gadget found in a department store.

At just under 8 inches in total length, of which only 3 ½ are insertable, Ina is a very small dual vibrator. I’ll be honest, I was quite surprised as I had only seen it in photo’s and thought it would be MUCH bigger (which isn’t always a good thing, something many can testify to).

Although it is a “firm” product it’s also very soft (velvety almost), seamless, lightweight and fits very comfortably in a hand, not to mention the body.

Ina has 2 separate motors (one located in each “pleasure point”). As a dual vibrator this is definitely a fantastic feature as it allows both your g-spot and clitoris to have direct and powerful stimulation.

Finally, the fact that it is rechargeable, giving you 4 hours of play for a 2 hour charge time is pretty amazing. Not only does this save you money on batteries and the environment (again with the batteries), but it also means that you can take as long as you need to reach an orgasm without having to worry about it dying before you get “there”.

*On a side note; I charged my Ina for 2 hours as directed and then left it running on the pillow while I went about my day. I was quite curious to see if the product really lasted the 4 hours it says. To my surprise, just over 4.5 hours later it was still going. The red light was showing indicating that the battery was low, but it was still going a half hour after I thought it would. Suffice to say, the Ina will most likely be going long after you’re done.

Operating Instructions

In regard to working the product it’s very, very easy; located on the glossy handle are four buttons: + (plus) – (minus) Δ (upward triangle) and ▼(downward triangle)
*push the + (plus) symbol to turn it on
*hold the + (plus) symbol to increase the speed of the vibration
*press the Δ (upward triangle) to run upwards through the 8 settings. Each time you press the button you will go to the next setting.
*press the ▼(downward triangle) to run downwards through the 8 settings. Each time you press the button you will go to the next setting. **One of the great things with this is that you don’t have to run through all of the settings if you accidentally hit the Δ and go past the setting you like; just click the ▼button and you can go back to it.
*press the – (minus) button to lower the power of the vibration
*hold the – (minus) button to turn it off.

While that may sound like a lot, in truth it’s probably one of the easiest toys I’ve ever used.

As an added bonus, for those of you that like to take your toys with you when you travel the Ina comes with a “locking” feature that keeps it from accidentally turning on. Just hold all four buttons at once (the – + ▼ Δ) and the LED light will turn on, then off, letting you know it’s locked. To unlock the Ina just hold down all four buttons again and you’re good to go.

As for the 8 settings they include; a steady low flutter, clitoral stimulator only, g-spot stimulator only, both g-spot and clitoral stimulator, a pulsation, cycling (almost as if it goes circular from g-spot to clitoral and around again) a intermittent vibe between g-spot and clit, and a roller coaster between g-spot and clitoral stimulation. Add to that the increase or decrease in vibrational speed and you’ve more then 8 settings. Just another reason for me to be impressed with this toy!

Cleaning & Care

When it comes to lubes I would highly suggest a water based lube ONLY. Since it’s a silicone product you don’t want to use a silicone lube as it could bond with the material and cause it to break down over time…basically, you ruin your Ina.

On that note, since it’s a silicone toy it’s non porous and not going to absorb any bacteria making cleaning easy; just wash it with warm water and anti bacterial soap, rinse it well and pat with a lint free cloth to dry. For safe keeping I suggest you either place it back in the pretty box or bag it comes with for storage.

Once you’ve finished with the Ina and want to charge it for next time, or if you notice that the LED light is glowing red (meaning it’s low on juice) just remove the silicone stopper located on the bottom, insert the DC plug into the DC socket and plug it in the wall. While it’s charging the LED will flash to let you know it’s charging. When it stops flashing and just glows it’s done.

The Bad

In regard to negatives the only one I could find was that the clitoral stimulator, while flexible, wasn’t very long and for some women they may find that it comes up short when tying to reach their clitoris. But again, that’s not everyone so for some of you that might not be an issue. Other then that it’s not waterproof. But like most luxury products the benefits FAR outweigh the negatives.

Final Verdict

All in all, I think the Lelo Ina is a vibrator that anyone who’s looking for a truly decadent designer dual vibe NEEDS to have! Not only is it lightweight, made of FDA approved materials making it body safe, seamless, comfortable, soft in feel, odourless, easy to use, rechargeable and very powerful (while being damn near silent!) but it also comes with a one year warranty! I’ll ask again…what more could you want?

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Review: Ophoria ~ Bliss 1 Mini Vibe

Clitoral Stimulation, Product Reviews, Vibes

From the moment I opened the shipping box I was impressed! The Ophoria Bliss 1 Mini Vibe is very professionally, respectfully and discreetly packaged. There is nothing on the box that screams “sex toy”; no nudity, obscene tag lines, cheesy images or cheap box. To be honest, if I didn’t already know what was in the box, I would expect to see it on the shelves of a big chain department store like Eatons or Sears (I’m in Canada, so those are the ones I know). That said, you can rest assured that if you purchased the Bliss 1 and someone was to come across the box by accident, you wouldn’t have any cause for embarrassment.

One of the questions I am most commonly asked when it comes to adult toys is where and how to store them safely so no one will find them… with the handy and discreet box that the Bliss 1 comes with you don’t have to worry; when you’re done using it just place it back in the box and tuck it into the back of a drawer or closet for safe keeping ~ problem solved!

As for the stats, measuring only 5” in length and 1.25” at its widest point the Bliss 1 is a rather small clitoral stimulator (which could also be used internally for those who wish to), especially for how powerful it is.

While a “firm” product in nature, the Bliss 1 is coated in a soft (almost velvety in feel) yet squishy, medical grade silicone making it both hygienic and very easy to care for. For those of you that are sensitive to Latex or other chemicals, not to worry, it’s hypoallergenic, phthalate free, latex free and body safe.

While it could be easily used for internal stimulation (or vaginally during double penetration – never anally as it doesn’t have a base), the Bliss 1 is fantastic for clitoral stimulation or to comfortably stimulate the vulva; especially due to it’s length, making stimulation of the inner lips and clit (at the same time) quite easy. It’s also great for clitoral stimulation during partner play, as it is soft enough and small enough to fit between partners during intercourse delivering the clitoral stimulation that some females require (about 70% of women need clitoral stimulation) to achieve and orgasm.

The controls of the Bliss 1 are very easy to manipulate; simply press the button located at the bottom once to activate it, then to run through the 9 vibrational settings continually click the button (every time you click it you will go to the next setting) until you find a setting you like. To turn it off, simply hold the button for 5 seconds and it quickly stops. Again I have to say how big a fan I am of products that turn of at the touch of a button rather then having to run through all the settings to stop ~ it’s such a time saver, not to mention easier on your batteries!

As for the vibrations of the Bliss 1 there are 9 in total; a low rumble, pulsation, escalation (2 speeds), throbbing (2 speeds), medium and high speed vibe, as well as one that is a mixture of everything. That said, if you are someone who like a variety of settings this is definitely a fantastic product for that!

Inserting the 2AAA batteries is also very easy; just twist the bottom cap slightly and it should pop off without much effort. Insert your batteries, twist the cap back on and you’re good to go.

In regard to lubes, because this is a silicone toy you’re going to want to use a water based lube only. If you use a silicone lube it will bond with the product over time and cause it to break down. As I’ve said before, one of the great things with silicone toys is the fact they are non porous and therefore won’t absorb any bacteria. By using a silicone lube you basically defeat the whole purpose.

As for cleaning, because the Bliss 1 is made of silicone it can easy be cleaned by using a mild (non film forming) soap and rinsing well with water, or giving it a quick spray with toy cleaner.

When trying to find a negative with the product I’ll be very honest, I had a hard time. This product is not only easy to use, virtually silent, body safe, phthalate free, easy to care for and discreet, but it’s also a product that could easily last a life time. That said, the only things I could think of were that for those of you who need a really powerful vibe (think of the Hitachi Magic Wand) to achieve an orgasm, this might not be enough for you. Other then that it isn’t waterproof, but to easily remedy that you could get creative and place it inside a condom and tie a knot at the bottom (opening of the condom) which would make the Bliss 1 usable in the bath, shower, jacuzzi or any other fun scenario you could think of.

All in all the Bliss 1 by Ophoria is a fantastic product that I would suggest to those who are new to sex toys, a more advanced user (if they don’t need a strong vibe), or anyone who is looking for a well made product that’s built to last.

For those of you interested the Bliss 1 can be purchased safely and discretely from SexToy.com where you’ll find a large selection of Vibrators and other great sex toys that great companies like Ophoria make.

Remember guys, if you support me and what I do please also support the sponsors. The more you support them, the more willing they will be to support me and send such fantastic products my way…without them, I have no way of showing you what’s worthy of your time and hard earned cash. Trust me, I know just how much crap there in on the market…gems like the Bliss 1 are few and far between!

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Anal Sex Tips for Beginners

Butt Play, Good Guides, The Written Word

The discomfort you may encounter during first time anal sex could be minimum or very intense depending on how relaxed you are. It’s for this reason that I created these anal sex tips, all designed to help make things a bit more comfortable and fun.

Anal Sex Tips For Beginners

Take Your Time & Relax

I personally suggest taking some time to warm up before engaging in full anal penetration; do some relaxing breathing exercises, meditate if need be, and get comfortable with your partner.

Once you’re relaxed and feel ready, get out the lube and apply a large amount to your butt hole. Once lubed up take a finger or a lube shooter and use it to insert some internally. This will allow for easier penetration and once inserted, much less friction. When I say a lot I mean A LOT! Don’t be stingy, unlike the vagina, the anus does not self lubricate, so the more you apply the better.

Remember, the more relaxed you are more relaxed your muscles will be, which will allow for the proper insertion of a toy, finger or penis with less discomfort.

After you’ve added the lube, add a finger and just a finger; the anus has a very tight opening and trying to insert a penis can be a shock to the system. Going too fast too soon can cause you to tense up, leading to a painful experience rather then a enjoyable one. If you’re not careful and don’t listen to your body there can be tearing of the sphincter and/or rectum. By using a finger you prep the body, stretch the muscles, and allow the yourself (or the receiver) to get used to the feeling.

Once the finger is inserted, have your partner leave it there for about a minute or so. Don’t tell them to thrust or move it around… just insert it and leave it. This will allow you and your body to get used to the feeling and relax the muscles.

Go Slow & Start Small

When you feel ready slowly remove the finger and move onto a toy or your partner. I personally suggest using a toy that’s between the size of your finger and your partners penis, this will give you the opportunity to work up to something larger with minimal discomfort.

Any of the Tantus Silk products (small, medium, or large) are amazing options as there’s limited texturing, a round base to keep them from going too far in, and a flexible body to make them totally comfortable.

When it comes to penetration, start thrusting gently, if it makes it easier for you do it doggy style. Have your partner on their knees staying as still as they can. Then take control and back up onto it. This may make it easier for you to take it as you’re the one determining how far it gets inserted and at what speed. The human body is an amazing thing and it’s quite astounding how much it will endure when you put your mind to it.

Finally, be gentle and go slow. I know that we all see the people of porn taking it like champs, but they are trained professionals. It’s what they do for a living and in most cases, have been doing for quite some time. You unfortunately are not a porn star and anyone who believes you can take a pounding the first time is grandly mistaken.

**One more thing, NEVER go from anus to vagina, or anus to mouth, doing this can lead to vaginal infections like bacterial vaginosis, yeast infections, E coli, or intestinal parasites.

Toys & Products Worth The Investment

Quality silicone toys like the ones Tantus makes are definitely worth the money. They’re phthalate free, latex free, wont absorb any bacteria, can be cleaned in a large number of ways, are hypo allergenic, hygienic, and perfectly safe for anal use. Even better, the flared bases on all Tantus toys make them perfect for anal play.

A very good quality silicone lubricant. Silicone is very slippery, compatible with latex, and requires very little reapplying; something I’d highly suggest for anal sex. Just keep in mind that if you’re going to be using a silicone lube use it only for actual intercourse, not for use with a silicone toy as it might ruin it.

Condoms, I always stress safe sex even with anal play, you may not be able to get pregnant from anal but you can get an STD. Not to mention that if you have your fill (no pun intended) with anal sex and want to have vaginal it’s easier to just take the condom off, put on a new one, and get back to business. Otherwise they’ll have to stop, bathe their penis, put on a condom, and start over again. If you’re wondering about the bathing part, those with a penis can also get urinary tract infections.

It’s my goal to make sex a safe, fun and enjoyable experience for everyone. Hopefully these anal sex tips have allowed you to become more comfortable and knowledgeable, while also easing some of the things you may encounter as a beginner.

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