Archive | January, 2012

Review: Vixen Creations – Buddy Butt Plug

Butt Play, Product Reviews, Vixen Creations

While revising a bunch of reviews a month ago I came to the realization that my inclusion of butt plugs and anal toys was seriously lacking. Sure, I’ve covered the basics of anal play, but with the exception of reviewing an anal douche and a Swarovski butt plug, I really haven’t branched out very much.

Always one for pushing limits and trying something new, I took it upon myself to grab a few goodies just so I could review them for all of you. Included in the mix was a small black Tantus silk, Vixen Creations Buddy in the ‘must have’ limited edition glittery silver, a fantastically neon green Tantus Ryder and a rather intimidatingly large set of Tantus butt beads in an awe inducing neon blue called “Peacock” (they were on sale and I couldn’t help myself). For today’s review I’ll be covering the Vixen Creations Buddy… and working myself up to the beads through the series of reviews that cover the others. As it stands, my ass is nowhere near ready to take them at this point. To follow my progress the reviews make sure to subscribe to my RSS feed or add me on twitter as I’ll be tweeting the hell out of them once the reviews are done.

Packaging

One of the things I loved about a previous Vixen Creations product I reviewed (Tex) was the unexpected and highly original tubular packaging. Not only is it quite different from many other boxed or clam shell designs (that often get tossed in the garbage once the product is removed), it’s very easy to store and meant to be reused. Even better, there’s ample room inside to store a small bottle of lube, some condoms and any other little sample sized products you might have lying around. As with many other high end intimate accessories there is nothing on it that’s rude, crude, tacky or cheap, instead only offering a brief description of the Companies products and cleaning/care instructions. There’s also the adorable fox logo I’ve come to love, but that’s it. *For those of you that value total discretion the sticker can be removed so there’s literally nothing on it.

The Good

As I expected there’s quite a bit to love with Buddy; first and foremost the silicone is highly squishy, supple, smooth and flexible making it very accommodating and surprisingly comfortable. More than that, once inserted it doesn’t create that awkward “get-it-out-of-my-ass-now” sensation many other firm products beget.

Speaking of silicone, Buddy is non-toxic, phthalate and latex free, odourless, tasteless, hypo-allergenic, hygienic, and non-porous so it doesn’t require the same heavy duty cleaning a TPR, TPE or PVC product may require.

*For the record I don’t suggest anything but non-porous materials for anal play as they’ll store bacteria, lube and bodily fluids every time they’re used. Even worse, they can’t be fully sterilized. Yuck.

The tapered tip and graduated body makes insertion effortless, allowing it to slide in place without any discomfort or force. Of course relaxing a bit before helps, as does a small amount of good water based lube. Quite surprisingly the rounded thicker lower portion allows it to stay in place nicely once inserted, adjusting with the body as you shift, flex or move. For me it was a nice change from my Small Ripple whose last rounded bulb I often struggle to keep in place (it always ‘pops’ out right before I’m about to orgasm*).

Size wise it’s not too big and not too small, instead being just right. I personally think it’s the size that makes it suitable for just about everyone; whether you’re inexperienced and afraid rear insertion might hurt or familiar with anal play but not in need of something too girthy or long, you’ll likely find Buddy to be a worthy contender. Actually, I was rather surprised when I got it as I expected it would be larger than the 4″ inches in length and 1 1/4″ in diameter it sports (it’s 3 1/2″ insertable). Even with looking at the measurements online I still thought it would be bigger and much closer to the Medium Tantus Silk, clearly I’m not good with mentally picturing inches in my head. Having said that, while it’s relatively small, by no means is it lacking in the sensation department. You’ll feel it, all of it, it just likely won’t come with the ‘full’ feeling a larger plug would offer.

Fortunately the base makes removal easy, and fits between the butt cheeks without being annoying or painful. On top of all that it’s seamless leaving you worry free when it comes to potential internal scrapes or scratches. On that note, because it’s got a flared base it’s also compatible with most harnesses, though I don’t know if it’s the kind of product I’d want to use for strap-on play. Then again, wtf do I know?

*Regarding the orgasm part, while it is a possibility, very rarely do women get off from anal play alone. Instead many will also require clitoral play or something inserted vaginally to aide in the experience. Having said that, if you’ve previously crammed something in your butt thinking it would be the end all, be all, only to find yourself coming short, don’t worry you’re perfectly normal and it’s to be expected.

Finally, it’s got silver sparkles so your ass is all blinged up and glittery. That in itself makes it worthy of putting in my butt.

All jokes aside (who says I was joking?), the body is transparent and glossy with layer upon layer of exceptionally shiny silver square sparkles. Even when looking deep within the body they’re there, less shiny of course, but still there. I actually have no idea how they did it, but you can’t feel any of the sparkles on the surface, something that totally surprised me. I even tried to gently pick one out, didn’t happen. For those not impressed with sticking sparkly things in your rear it also comes in gold, black and purple versions.

Care And Cleaning

Because it’s a high quality silicone and not some shady mix of silicone and who-knows-what it can be easily cleaned with soap and water or by boiling for 3 minutes. Regarding lubes I’d only suggest a good water based lube as a silicone one would likely ruin it over time.

The Bad

When it came to things I didn’t like about Buddy there was only one, but being that it’s a silicone product that’s somewhat glossy it was highly expected: it attracts lint and fluff, but it’s minimal when compared to other silicone products.

Final Verdict

If you’re looking for a butt plug made of body safe material that’s easy to insert, supple, squishy and flexible, while also being comfortable, accommodating and surprisingly discreet I highly suggest taking the Vixen Creations Buddy into consideration. Aside from being impressed with the basic design, the level of quality will probably leave you looking through the entire Vixen Creations collection and wondering which will be your next. Yes, they are that good! *I’ve personally had my eyes on Raquel, Mavrick and Tristan.

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#WTFWednesday: Cyberflesh Mouth & Breasts

#WTFWednesday, Features

While struck with insomnia a few nights ago I found myself tweeting images of horrible sex toys I’d found. Then this thing happened and I just couldn’t help but create a blog post for it.

Yes, it was just that bad.

Consider this the start of #WTFWednesday. You have the Cyberflesh Mouth & Breasts to thank for that.

Very rarely am I totally perplexed by a ~~sex toy~~, but this thing. MY GOD! This thing just leaves me all kinds of speechless & bewildered.

I mean, what the fuckity fuck is it? A duck billed platypus mixed with a fish, mixed with a creepy boggly eyed hand muppet puppet (look at it upside down), fused with a cheap ass rubber chicken? Yes, yes it is. AND YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO PUT YOUR DICK IN IT. In case you don’t want to waste time flipping your head to look at it, I’ve done you the luxury of turning it around for you below. I think I’m officially traumatized.

After staring at it for some time I think it’s what I would expect to see if I tripped balls on acid and had a paranoid freak out moment where rabid leprechauns caught Animal from the Muppets and skinned him alive in front of me. *shudders*

It’s just wrong. Every kind of wrong. Every. Kind.

And really, is that supposed to look like warts on the ~~wrist part~~ shaft? Because it does. And it’s obscene.

I’d like to find the person that created this and shake the shit out of them while screaming angrily: “wtf is wrong with you?! Why in the name of all that is holy would you manufacture this?! You’re part of what’s wrong with the industry!” Then I’d break down and cry like a baby in the fetal position.

Of course this isn’t the only scary sex toy out there, for more check out The Concubine and Mr.Jack – they’re hideous in every way possible.

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Review: Tantus – Panty Play

Clitoral Stimulation, Product Reviews, Tantus Inc, Vibes

I always seem to start my Tantus reviews with a paragraph about my love of the company, and with good reason; every product made (even the ones that don’t work with my body) is phthalate and latex free, luxurious, eco-friendly and crafted out of the highest grade silicone one can find. Having said that, my love isn’t limited to the products alone, instead spilling over with gratitude for the hard work put into the design process as each Tantus product goes through rigorous testing before hitting the shelves with a finalized version. Basically put, they personally test the products before deciding which tweaks and changes need to be made, guaranteeing an exceptional experience almost every time.

As expected the Panty Play by Tantus has left me highly impressed with the level of comfort, ease of use and eco-friendly materials it has to offer. But with my love of the company being so deep, I think it would hard for them to fail me.

The Packaging

Staying true to Tantus form the packaging is discreet, professional, respectful and playfully done. Nothing is offensive, crude, tacky or cheap and although it is a sex toy, it still maintains an air of maturity that I highly appreciate.

The transparent oval package showcases the product as expected, and opens via a clam shell design allowing easy access. The front offers little information about the product (great for those that like discreet packaging), and the back offers a brief description with anatomically correct terms (vulva, clitoris). If you’re tired of seeing the word “pussy” sprawled across boxes, written in an attempted ‘sexy’ font and a bright red or pink no less, you’ll find this a welcome change.

The Design

Being that I know my body pretty well I was instantly intrigued by the design; rather than being an egg or something that you’d insert (the industry standard when it comes to ‘wearable’ products), the Panty Play is meant for external positioning and provides stimulation to the area of the body most women need to orgasm (the clitoris and vulva, not the g-spot).

Having said that I had my assumptions from the get go; the gentle curves, tapered bottom tip and external positioning of the bullet appeared to be a great idea as I figured it would fit inside a pair of undies without being obtrusive. The inner rounded ridge seemed promising for dedicated clitoral stimulation, striking me as the exact inclusion many other products (designed for wearing inside undies) were lacking and the flexible silicone body seemed like it would hug the curves of the body during motion (walking, shifting in your seat, dancing etc) in a way others had previously missed or gotten wrong.

Of course appearances can be deceiving, and the true test would be during use… as such, I decided the best way to test it was in 3 different situations, and being that I’m rather brave when I want to be, I took it upon myself to boss up and wear it outside the house and see if others reacted – let’s be real, the only thing stopping most people from buying products like this is the fear that someone will hear it and call them out. What can I say, I’m a perv with no shame, who will do what she can to ease your fears or worries… even if it means I have to be the Guinea Pig.

Scenario 1 – Grocery Store: I’m not exactly sure how many people would choose to wear this while shopping for pasta, but I figured a grocery store would be a great place to test the product. I popped it in my undies, snugly slid it into my vulva, allowing my outer labia to help keep it in place, turned it on and off I went. At first I felt a little awkward, not because it was was uncomfortable, quite the contrary (it kinda feels like a thick pad, but obviously way better)… instead because I felt like everyone I passed on the street could hear it (though I’m pretty sure in retrospect it was just my active imagination playing tricks on me). I walked with my head down, trying every so often to see if I could hear it myself… nothing but the sounds of the world whirring around me. Somewhere between the third and fourth block I started to find myself getting aroused by the surprisingly powerful buzz… an experience that was both interesting and bizarre in every way possible. By the time I got to the store (5 block walk in total) my fear of people hearing it had faded and I was totally focused on the vibe, finding myself stopping every so often to shift it into place so it hit my clit the way I wanted. After about 10 minutes in the store I couldn’t take it anymore… and there, right in the middle of trying to decide between Ragu, Prego or Classico pasta sauce I had one. Yep, I had an orgasm in the middle of shopping for pasta sauce. Panty Play – 1, Me – 0. (Total time – about 30 some odd minutes)

*for the record there was no throw back to that fantastic scene from When Harry Met Sally. In retrospect I wish I had gone balls to the wall and just done it though. Maybe next time.

Funnily enough out of the whole scenario the orgasm was the easy part… turning it off without anyone noticing proved to be rather challenging. Fortunately the No Frills clerks are pretty cool with sharing their washroom with folks frantically yelling “Omg! Do you have a washroom, I GOTTA GO!”. Yes, I chickened out when it came to turning it off (I didn’t want to look like I was itching a crabby crotch). Sue me.

Scenario 2 – The Bar: After my grocery store experience I was a little less cautious and totally into the the idea of seeing how many places I could go with the Panty Play in place… next up, a loud bar (I highly suggest this for those that are shy since the music, and people yelling over it, will likely make you far less worried others will hear it). Rather than turning it on for the commute I opted to wait until I got to the club, a decision made based on the fear the battery would die before I got off. Once past security, coat check and paying to get in I dodged into the washroom and quickly flicked it on. With the exception of the vibe as a reminder it felt like I wasn’t really wearing anything, especially once I got a couple drinks in. I danced to whatever crappy hip hop was playing, again finding myself shifting so it applied pressure and stimulation where I wanted. Being that there are 3 settings (2 steady vibes, with one being a tad stronger, and a pulsation) I found that as I danced and it hit my jeans the vibe continually bounced through the settings offering various levels of stimulation (it was a little annoying at first then became almost like a game). Somewhere between wishing my friend a happy b-day, having a shot to celebrate and drunkenly singing along to a remix of Rihanna’s “Umbrella” it happened… a big ol’ orgasm on the middle of the dance floor. Panty Play – 2, Me – 0. (Total time – no clue. Let’s say the time it takes to drink 3 vodka crans, 1 shot of Amaretto and dancing to 4 over played songs.)

Thankfully getting into a washroom to turn it off is much easier in a bar, another reason I highly suggest testing it in this type of situation. Not so thankfully I will never hear “Umbrella” the same way again.

Scenario 3 – Date Night: I may be wrong but I’m going to assume that most people who buy this would likely be buying it for use with a partner, the kind of use that’s one of those “guess what I’m wearing?” type of scenarios. As such I thought a “date night” of dinner and movie would be a perfect way to test it out. Again I waited until we got to the restaurant since I didn’t want to kill the battery too soon… and I didn’t tell him since I wanted it to be a surprise.

The spot is one we’re both very familiar with; constantly busy so it’s somewhat loud with people talking over each other (I knew no one would come close to hearing it), fairly low key and exceptionally cozy with wonderful cushy booths you almost sink into (making positioning it instantaneous and very comfortable). To my instant surprise it turned on when I sat down… either my vulva/vagina is magical and has learned tricks I didn’t know about or my jeans pushed on the button. Regardless, awesomeness. Shortly after the dessert came so did I. Rather funny since I hadn’t yet told him I was wearing it… I had planned on telling him once in the movie theater. My bad for thinking I would last that long. In the process I accidentally let out a quiet unexpected moan which made him look at me and ask “stomach hurt? you can fart if you have to? it’s okay, I did already”… and that was that. Panty Play – 3, Me – 0. (Total time around 45 mins – by the time I was done the battery had all but died)

Clearly I’m going to have to use it again, but tell him before drinks arrive at the table.

The Good

Aside from being orgasm inducing (for me at least) the Panty Play
has quite a bit to offer; it’s discreet and something you could leave around without any fear or worry should someone find it. The texture is a wonderfully soft, supple and very smooth matte silicone (rather than glossy) that’s virtually seamless and attracts almost no lint or fluff whatsoever (I LOVE that!). The outer edges are surprisingly flexible and very thin (features that I think would allow it to fit most bodies well). During use it warms to body temperature, adding a pleasurable sensation to the experience that lends itself well to the comfort level. Finally, the bullet fits into the sleeve with little to no need for lube and removes just as easily – if you’re tired of fighting with bullets and sleeves you’ll love this.

As for the stats you’re looking at 5′ inches in length by 2′ inches across with a depth of 1.75′ inches. Not too big, not too small, almost perfect. Almost.

Care and Cleaning

Since the Panty Play is made of Ultra Premium Silicone you can wash it with anti-bacterial soap and water, boil it up to 600° Fahrenheit, bleach it with a 10% bleach solution, or simply put it in the top rack of your dishwasher…yes, I did say put it in the dishwasher.

Since I don’t think the bullet would do too well being placed in boiling water, a dishwasher or bleach solution I highly suggest you remove it from the sleeve and clean it with anti bacterial soap and water or spray it with toy cleaner .

As with all Tantus products you’ll want to only use a water based lubricants as a silicone lube will likely ruin it. Having said that, since it’s meant for external use and wont be inserted I don’t think you’ll need any lube.

Changing the batterie is very easy; just unscrew the bottom cap, remove your N battery, pop the new one in, screw the cap back on and you’re good to go! *I also suggest you remove the battery when the product is not in use as it could corrode and kill your bullet.

The Bad

While it was very comfortable 95% of the time there were a few instances when I found it slid out of place and the pointed bottom jabbed me in the rear. It didn’t hurt so much as felt a little awkward and uncomfortable (like when your pad bunches in your ass – TMI, I know). On that note, the rounded sides sometimes felt a little wide for my body and dug into the inside of my outer labia. It didn’t happen often but when it did it was annoying, a problem easily solved by shifting like I had a wedgie until it was back in place.

*Maybe making a smaller version for smaller body types would be a good idea. Though I completely understand that doing so may require using a smaller and less powerful bullet.

Other than that it was a little weird at first, especially since I’m not used to wearing things of this nature. I walked and knew it was there. I danced and knew it was there. I sat and knew it was there… until it warmed to body temperature and became comfortably positioned so I forgot it was there. Interesting how that happens.

Finally, orgasms in public aren’t for everyone. For me they were liberating and pretty fucking phenomenal. If you’re into it, you need a Panty Play.

Final Verdict

If you’re tired of companies claiming that their ‘panty’ product is the shit, only to find out that that remote doesn’t work, the egg is far too large, the wires are annoying or the vibrations are too loud, you’ll likely be very pleasantly surprised with the Panty Play. Not only is it comfortable (almost all the time) it’s easy to use, puts you in control, doesn’t need to be inserted and offers stimulation to the erogenous zones many women require.

To get your hands on one of your own, or to check out all of the fantastic products they make I suggest you head over to the Tantus website where shopping is easy, discreet and your privacy is of utmost importance.

Big thanks goes out to Tantus for sending the Panty Play my way, I’m seeing a lot of fun adventures in my future!

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Review: Intimate Organics Massage Oils

Massage Oils, Product Reviews

When I first got my hands on the flavored lubes by Intimate Organics I was rather surprised by the strong flavors and scents they offered, leaving me rather put off and questioning what the natural massage oils had to offer. To be honest, I was afraid I’d be once again disappointed in a company I really wanted to love. Fortunately I was very pleasantly surprised, finding them far more appealing then the lubricants.

Packaging

Like all of the products within the Intimate Organics collection the packaging for the massage oils is professional, respectful, tasteful and attractive. There is nothing on them that could be construed as inappropriate or tacky and they maintain an air of maturity that’s very much lacking within the adult market of intimate accessories.

Each 4 oz bottle features a front sticker with the basic label and scent information, while the back offers usage instructions, ingredients and company info. It’s simple. It’s straight forward and there really isn’t much else to say about it. For a company that’s trying to be high end and tactful, they’re hitting the nail on the head.

The Good

As with all of the products created by the company, the ingredients are certified organic, free of harsh chemical fillers and aren’t tested on animals. For someone like me, who has highly sensitive skin (that reacts to almost everything) I love the fact that I can use them without being left with a rash or skin that’s irritated, sore and raw.

Fortunately a little goes a very long way, as a quarter size amount covers an entire back nicely, saving you money in the long run (less reapplying means you run through it slower). Having said that, each of the oils within the collection is free of the sticky, slick or tacky sensation offered by many other products and glides on smooth, quickly spreading over the skin with ease. It’s not gritty or thick, nor does it feel synthetic or slimy and once fully absorbed the skin is left soft, supple, highly moisturized and wonderfully scented with a tiny amount of sheen.

On that note, unlike the flavored lubricants, which I found to be overwhelming, heavy and mostly nauseatingly sweet, each of the massage oils is light, fragrant and very appealing. To be honest, I wish this was what they had gone for with the flavored lubes since each offered a perfectly delicate scent that just begs to be smelled.

Being that I’m someone who’s likes products to leave me scented after use, I was very impressed with how long the smell lasted, founding it rather nice to catch an unexpected whiff of the wonderful aromas offered by these massage oils.

Although I wouldn’t suggest it for internal use, it’s great for manual stimulation or to deliver a fantastic massage, especially since it allows the hands to glide over the skin with absolutely no drag or pulling. For those that like to think outside the box it’s also a nice addition to a relaxing bath (just pour a cap full in), and is surprisingly great when rubbed on pressure points to be used as a fragrance (I’ve done it quite often and am always complimented on my ”perfume”).

Ingredients: Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis (Sweet Alsmot Oil), Helianthus Annuus (Sunflower Seed Oil), cocos Nucifera (Coconut Oil), Parfum, Tocopheryl Acetate,

Relaxing – Lemon Grass & Coconut

If you want a scent that’s warm, light and wonderfully fragrant with hints of lemon and creamy coconut, this is definitely the one for you. Call me crazy but it reminds me of a lemon pastry fresh from the oven or a margarita that’s been blended with a diluted pina colada. Either way it’s decadent and exceptionally yummy.

There’s nothing about this oil that’s overwhelming or heavy, instead being delicate, zesty, clean and fresh, and while the lemon scent is definitely there it’s by no means acidic or bitter, smelling more like the filling you’d find in a lemon tart or a cool lemon sherbert. Having said that, I know that Lemon Grass can be pungent and slightly spicy, but this is more of an earthy and sweet scent.

As for the coconut, it’s warm, inviting, creamy and balmy with vanilla undertones that soothe and comfort. I’ve always been a fan of anything coconut and found that this did not disappoint.

Sensual – Cocoa Bean and Goji Berry

By far this is my favourite out of the three, with the scent being warm with heady chocolate notes and an undertone of berries or chocolate covered cherries. To me this smells like Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Cherry Garcia ice cream or a jelly donut coated in powdered sugar. It’s decadent and delicious, without being overpowering or sickly sweet, a far cry from the offerings of the flavored lubes (if the company is reading this you NEED to find a way to make this edible!).

Once rubbed into the skin the oil leaves a lingering scent of sweet berries and savory warmed nuts (not schweddy balls, that’s different), that’s musky (not musty), fresh, warm and inviting. Like the Lemon Grass and Coconut version it’s not at all overpowering or heavy, instead being light, airy and comforting.

I have no clue how they came up with this fragrance but I want to applaud the company for creating a scent that’s so unique and luxurious, while also capturing the scent of chocolate almost perfectly.

Energizing – Fresh Orange & Wild Ginger

Due to the pungent orange smell that instantly made me think of a citrus scented cleaner this was my least favorite of the three. Unfortunately I couldn’t really smell the ginger, and once the oil was rubbed in it left me smelling like furniture polish.

On that note, rather than being sweet and spicy or crisp and clean, which is what I expect from something that’s orange and ginger scented, the aroma was tangy, zesty, lemony, very fragrant and a little waxy. The only consolation for my disappointment is that the ‘cleaner’ scent isn’t headache inducing. That’s a good thing…right?

The Bad

When it comes to complaints I only have one: It’s not edible! Not that I’d really expect it to be since it’s a massage oil, but with how great they smell it’s quite a tease.

*If the folks at the company are reading this you need to make edible versions. I don’t care if they’re lubes. I don’t care if they’re oils. I don’t care if they’re some kind of bizarre hybrid of the two. Just let me eat the damn stuff. M’kay?

Final Verdict

For as disappointed as I was in the flavored lubes created by Intimate Organics I’m doubly pleased with the massage oils. Not only are they everything I thought they would be, they’re far better quality than I’d expect for the price (between $8.00 – $15.00 depending on where you shop). To be honest, they’re a steal. One you shouldn’t pass up.

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Review: Intimate Organics Flavored Lube

Lubes, Product Reviews

Intimate Organics Oils For those of you not familiar with the company, Intimate Organics was created in 2008 with a goal to provide a personal care collection that was free of the harsh chemicals and synthetic ingredients found in many other mass produced products. The entire collection only uses certified organic extracts and offers a healthier option for those that value the environment and care not only about what they’re putting on their body, but also in it.

The newest collection is a line of high quality flavored lubricants that warm on contact and offer unique flavors not found with other leading brands. Sticking with their mission, the company only uses certified organic extracts that are aspartame, paraben and DEA free, while also being sugar free, pure vegan and never tested on animals. Each decadently flavored water based lube is condom/dental dam compatible and highly concentrated.

Packaging

Like all of the products within the Intimate Organics collection each 120 ml bottle is professional and respectful, with nothing on it that’s tacky, inappropriate, potentially embarrassing or rude. The clear plastic is durable, with some weight behind it, feeling neither flimsy nor cheap. Because the sticker is placed in the back (facing the front) it allows a full view the liquid inside. The back provides information on the ingredients, usage instructions and company info, with nothing being overdone or distasteful.

The coinciding pictures used for each flavor are enticing, and while the description does contain the word ‘lubricant’ it’s likely that anyone who found the bottle would be so intrigued by the delicious images that they wouldn’t take notice to the fact that it’s a sexual wellness product, and instead opt to sample it for themselves.

When it came to issues with the packaging the only real complaint I had was the use of a screw cap that required depressing for access to the lube; had they used a pump top (like Pink lubricant) or a tube there would be less of a chance it could be potentially spilled (this from the girl that accidentally knocked the bottle over and spilled 1/4 of the stuff on the floor – thank God it’s water based and easy to clean up).

The Good

Regardless of the Intimate Organics flavour you choose, the lube glides on smooth and spreads easily, has a thin fluid consistency (compared to a thicker gel), doesn’t leave you feeling sticky or coated in product and warms when gently rubbed into the skin or blown on. On that note, they feel very silky and leave the skin soft and supple, allowing body parts to glide nicely without any friction.

Fortunately there’s no horrible aftertaste and while each is heavily scented, the taste (for the most part) isn’t completely overpowering or sickly sweet. Having said that, for those that like concentrated flavours and/or scents that require little to no reapplication this will be a perfect addition to your bedroom play.

*Note: Because the flavors are so concentrated you only need a little, and it’s best if you take the time to spread it out before licking it. Tasting it straight from the bottle or using too much will likely be too sweet or strong for most people. On the up side, if you’re using it in conjunction with a dental dam or condom the flavor and scent will overpower the stink of latex and make the situation far more enjoyable.

Ingredients: Vegetable derived Glycerin, Propylene Glycol, Flavour, Water, Alcohol, Lycium Barbarum Fruit Extract, Cymbopogon Schoenantus Extract, Aloe Barbadensis Leaf Extract.

Savory & Sweet Flavours:

Intimate Organics Toasted Macadamia Lubricant

Although it’s called Toasted Macadamia I found the scent to be a mixture of caramel, rice crispy squares, burnt by the campfire toasted marshmallows and salty but sweet candied nuts (don’t pun that), making it a far cry from the traditional fruit flavors you’ll likely find with other brands.

The taste is sweet but savory, slightly nutty and leaves a lingering taste of toasted marshmallows on the tongue. It’s by no means overpowering or obnoxious, which was a nice surprise considering how strongly it was scented. On that note, straight out of the bottle it’s exceptionally sweet and sugary, almost syrupy. Taking the time to thin it out over the skin before sampling works wonders for diluting the strong taste, making it far more palatable.

Intimate Organics Chocolate Mint Lubricant

For those that love Chocolate Chip Mint ice cream, you’re in for treat as the Chocolate Mint lubricant smells and tastes exactly as expected. The first whiff is rather heavy and strong, being a tad overpowering, syrupy sweet and intense. If you tend to prefer flavored lubes that are delicate and light, this may not be the one for you – instead I’d highly suggest the chocolate lube offered by System Jo as both the flavor and scent aren’t far more subtle.

As for the scent, it starts off cool and minty then shifts to a divine chocolate that smells like a rich box of dark chocolates. The flavor however is the quite the opposite, beginning with a warm chocolate and quickly shifting to a light and airy mint that lingers lightly on the tongue. Like the Toasted Macadamia nut, sampling it from the bottle will likely be very syrupy and too pungent for most, even as someone with a serious sweet tooth I found it to be a bit much.

Unlike all of the others which are totally clear, this one has a slightly darker yellowish tinge that’s almost amber in color.

Intimate Organics Vanilla Caramel Lubricant

No matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t get the smell of vanilla, the caramel was definitely there, possibly even a hint of custard, creamy butterscotch ripple ice cream or maple syrup, but no vanilla. That’s not to say it didn’t smell good, quite the opposite actually; the moment I caught a whiff my mouth instantly watered.

To me this smelled like my favourite dessert, Creme Brulee, with a creamy and thick decadent smooth custard sitting perfectly below a golden brown layer of crispy caramelized sugar. As for the taste, it’s nowhere near as rich or heavy as the Toasted Macadamia or Chocolate Mint, offering a sweet and decadent sugar flavor that’s very yummy and delectable.

Again, spreading it out over the skin before sampling will make it far more appealing, as tasting it straight from the bottle will likely be a little too sweet and syrupy.

Intimate Organics Pralines ‘n Cream Lubricant

Unlike the others I found this version a little too rich and sickly sweet making it my least favourite in the collection. While there is a slight hint of nuttiness, the thick syrup flavor was far too overpowering and took away from anything else it might have to offer – that’s even after I took the time to spread it out and slightly sink in. Even a finger tabs worth from the bottle almost made me sick… which is saying a lot being that I have a serious sweet tooth (Nesquick straight/no milk? YES PLEASE!)

On that note, if you really like sweets you’ll probably love this version, I’m just personally not a fan.

Fruit Flavours

Intimate Organics Wild Cherry Lubricant

Why do companies always feel the need to use words like “wild” in their flavoring descriptions? Maybe it’s just me but I rarely find that anything ‘flavored’ tastes like it would if found in the ‘wild’, and by ‘wild’ I mean ‘farm’, because lets get real, that’s where most fruit and veggies come from nowadays.

Even with my apparent cynicism I have to admit I love the way this lube smells. Not only is it light, fruity and juicy, it’s also deliciously sweet with a scent that reminds me of cherry Jell-O. The flavor on the other hand is surprisingly heavy straight from the bottle (like Jell-O before it’s had a chance to set). Fortunately taking the time to thin it out over the skin makes it light and fruity, almost candy like.

*Like I said when I first started, this is nothing like what I’d expect a “wild cherry” to taste like. Personally I’d suggest the Cherry Vanilla lube created by Sliquid, but that’s just me.

Intimate Organics Citrus Burst Lubricant

Coming in somewhere between lemony Sunlight dish detergent and flat pop, this was my least favourite out of the fruit version when it came to the scent. Of course that’s just me, but it just didn’t have any redeeming qualities to leave me enticed or wanting to sample it. To be honest, I was actually kinda afraid it would make me sick.

Fortunately the flavor was much better than I expected, especially considering I thought it would likely taste like soap. It was surprisingly light and sweet, with subtle citrus flavours that tasted a like flat Sprite or a lime Popsicle. It’s by no means overpowering or syrupy, instead being something you’d likely keep sampling in an attempt to find the flavor.

For those that like light lime flavors or flat Sprite/7Up, I’d suggest this version. If on the other hand you prefer the flavors of a strong lemon candy you might want to try the System Jo Lemon flavored lube, it’s far more tasty.

Intimate Organics Wild Strawberry Lubricant

Like the Wild Cherry version, Wild Strawberry tastes nothing like what I’d expect a wild strawberry to taste or smell like, and while it’s not as overpowering or syrupy as many other strawberry flavored lubes on the market, it’s also not the greatest. For one thing it’s sweet, very sweet, and although the flavor is delicate and subtle like a real strawberry, the warming sensation detracts from the greatness that it could be by altering the sensation and distracting from the flavor.

Don’t get me wrong, out of the fruit flavored versions this is by far the best one, it’s just unfortunately very similar to everything else that’s supposed to taste like a strawberry. I guess the fact that it’s organic and free of chemicals makes it a far better option, but going on taste alone you’d never know the difference.

The Bad

When it came to things I didn’t like about the flavored lubes offered by Intimate Organics there were quite a few, which is rather unfortunate considering I really wanted to love them.

The flavors and scents are heavy and overpowering, with some of them being almost nasautingly sweet. Fortunately spreading them out makes a big difference, but even then some are a tad too much.

For as nice as the warming effect is on the skin, it’s not necessarily enjoyable when it comes to the edible side of the product. Sure thinning them out makes it not as effective, but it still creates a weird warming sensation on the tongue that detracts from the flavor.

This may be a bonus for some people; because they’re so heavily scented once they’ve been licked off the smell still remains on anything it came in contact with be it sheets, body parts or otherwise. Admittedly, it’s kind of interesting to play while there’s a scent of chocolate mint or crème brulee in the air, and it’s a rather nice cover up for those that can’t stand the smell of latex.

Finally, the lube doesn’t fully absorb which is both a good and bad thing; on the one hand it maintains a consistency that’s slick and slippery without getting sticky or tacky, on the other hand you’ll need to wipe off any that’s left behind to fully get rid of it.

Final Verdict

I usually use this part of my reviews to go over the great things I loved about the product but for the first time in a long time I find myself at a loss for words. On the one hand the products are all certified organic, maintain their consistency, aren’t tested on animals, spread easily over the skin leaving you feeling silky smooth, and some of them even taste pretty damn good. On the other hand the majority of them are very strong when it comes to the flavor/scent which may unfortunately put people off. Thankfully they don’t smell highly chemical or obnoxiously fake, but that may not be enough of a reason for some people to love them.

For me it’s a toss up, but you might have a completely different result. I guess the only way to find out is to try them. You never know, you just may be pleasantly surprised.

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