Archive | June, 2012

#FunFindFriday: Smurfs XXX Porn Parody


I can’t help but wonder what the fuck Hustler was thinking when they gave the green light on this project.  There will likely be viewers with childhood memories of curiously stuffing a smurf figure somewhere the sun don’t shine…and maybe even liking it, but for crying out loud, DOES THERE REALLY NEED TO BE A PORN PARODY OF EVERYTHING A PORN EXEC CAN DREAM UP?!

No. No there does not. Case in point: This Ain’t Smurfs XXX.

I might be wrong but I thought the point of porn was to turn people on and help them get off. There is nothing, between the trailer and clips I’ve found online, that’s even remotely sexy.

Tacky? Yes.

Weird? Yes.

Childish? Yes.

Boring? Definitely.

Sexy, arousing, enticing or sultry, hells no!  In fact, if my vagina could, I think it might just curl up and die.

I mean, wtf is up with those ears?! It’s like a grade 2 class got a shit tonne of blue plasticine and made the worst lumpy blue pancakes they could. Then, to take it one step further, they decided it would be fun to smack them on the side of someones head. ‘Cause ya know, why the fuck not.

Don’t get me started on the acting. Jesus! It’s cringe worthy.

As for the script, every time they say something “smurfy” I die a little on the inside.

And what’s the deal with this “Mommy” bullshit?! Ugh. Let’s not also forget to mention the chemistry, of which THERE IS NONE. Maybe there are fleeting glimpses of it somewhere in the movie, but from what I can see it’s just plain ‘ol poorly costumed dick in vagina. A good porn that does not make.

I get it, Evan Stone has a contract with Hustler, but the fact that he’s in almost every XXX parody drives me bananas. It’s unnecessary…. just let the old guy retire already.

Then there’s Gargamel… his eyebrows give me the heebie geebies. That balding wig is just tacky. And his awkward flailing while muttering ‘rise my minion‘ to a glob of green play-doh, followed by a puff of animated smoke and hand convulsions makes me want to do bad things to him… and not in a potentially good way either. Oh, and that potato sack dress, can we please just not.

Though I will admit, the bleeping of cuss words at 1:18 (video above) was  pretty epic, I honestly  couldn’t stop myself from rewinding and watching over and over while laughing so hard I almost peed.

All in all, I think the real reason I hate it so much has something to do with staring at those blue painted bodies… it just brings back horrible visuals of the fiasco that was This Ain’t Avatar XXX, and that was a doozy… one that made me want to punch myself in the face on more than one occasion. #pornragemoment

At least it has one thing going for it, something I missed with the Avatar version: blue dicks. I just wonder how long the paint will last.  Judging by the continuity issues with Smurfettes lipstick, I’m guessing not very long.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; if you’re gonna make a porn – even a parody – take some serious funds from your multi-million dollar empire and invest it like the makers of the awe inspiring Pirates did. Otherwise, gtfo!


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Review: "OOO" Boutique ~ Savor Me Flavored Condoms

savor me condoms

Savor Me

One of the biggest complaints I hear about using condoms for oral is the horrible taste they leave in the mouth. To be honest, I really can’t disagree; from my experiences they always seemed like a mixture of rubber, slime, powdery residue and nausea inducing latex. Not fun, and definitely not sexy, especially when you’ve got something rammed down your throat just teasing the gag reflexes.  Fortunately there are quite a few decently flavored condoms available to help make the experience far more pleasurable, for both parties.

Within the “OOO” Savor Me collection there are currently only 3 flavors to choose from; strawberry, chocolate dip and vanilla, all of which were surprisingly better than I expected since none of them had the trademark rubber/latex smell or thick syrupy taste found with many other brands.

Before I go on I do want to mention that I sampled the condoms in 3 different ways to gauge the experience; once orally with my partner, once straight from the package (though why you’d do that I have no clue), and once cut to resemble a dental dam (for those of you that may opt to use condoms that way). Unfortunately I didn’t really think of using them for intercourse, so I can’t speak about the experience should you choose to use them that way.

(note: for those that don’t like the taste of semen or the thought of having it in their mouth, using flavored condoms is a great way to allow your partner(s) to finish without consistently worrying that they might shock you with an unexpected hot load <- yes I really did just write that.)


Since I covered the vast majority of the packaging in my previous “OOO” Boutique condom review, for this review I’m just going to focus on the single packs.

Each single cover is crafted out of matte paper/cardboard that feels smooth and luxurious, while also coming across as very high end. There’s nothing about them that’s cheap or flimsy, with the actual cover being fairly thick and well constructed, making them great for protecting the condom inside.

The designs of each are professional yet artistic, simple yet fashionable, and sleek yet playful, with an appearance like nothing currently being offer in the market. To be honest, if someone pulled one of these out in a public place and dropped it on a table I wouldn’t know what it was at first glance, instead I’d likely assume it was a little booklet of some sort rather than a condom.  On that note, located within the cover is a fold out that offers instructions and tips for application on one side and the various products they create on the other (pictured below).

As for the actual condoms, each foil wrapper is simple with a lovely silver outer package that sports the “ooo” logo and “do it with style” on the front, with the back containing the expiration date and information about the condom.

The Flavors & Experience

When used orally (with my partner) the condoms weren’t baggy or thick and didn’t move around much in my mouth, of course that may be due to my partners size and therefore won’t apply to everyone, but I think it’s still worth noting – especially for those that have used condoms for oral and found they shifted around during use. On that note, they didn’t get in the way or interfere, something I’ve come to expect due to past experiences.  Application was likewise easy, with no sticking, bunching or tangling of the latex to complicate things while rolling the condom down the shaft of the penis.

As for the flavors…

Strawberry, Chocolate, Vanilla

The first I tried was chocolate, with the scent and taste being a pretty close match. Sure it didn’t taste exactly like chocolate, but it’s a flavored condom so it’s to be expected, especially since there only seemed to be a thin coating of the flavored lube they used. The scent wasn’t strong or overbearing either, instead being light, sweet and luscious. Regarding the coloring, the condom is black, not brown which I’d expect being that chocolate is brown, making my partners dick look more like a giant black magic marker than anything else. Yeah, there’s a fun visual for ya.

Next up was strawberry, which didn’t really taste much like strawberry at all; it was fruity and somewhat sweet, but tasted more like a non distinct chalky fruit candy that quickly dissipated to only a hint of fruit. Although it wasn’t much to write home about, the fact that there wasn’t a disgusting aftertaste or gag worthy sliminess was certainly nice. As for the color, you’re looking at a very bright candy apple red shade that’s fairly transparent when worn. Though I will say, having sex with someone who looks like they have a pinkish rash on their dick (due to the condom) was definitely a new experience for me.

Ghost Condom says "boo!"

Last was vanilla, almost instantly I was hit with the light scent of a creamy vanilla milkshake (kinda like an Ensure Nutritional Drinks), as for the taste, it’s subtle, very subtle, being almost like nothing at all. I honestly would have loved for the flavor to have been a tad stronger, or lasted longer, since it was pretty good while it was there. Having said that, being that it lost the taste so quickly I really can’t say very much about it other than it wasn’t slimy or thick, syrupy, overly lubed or powdery which was much more than I hoped for. Unlike the other “OOO” condoms (Rock Me and Feel Me), instead of being almost totally transparent the vanilla condoms had a slight white tint to them. For some reason I thought coloring them like ghosts would be a fun idea (pictured left). #boredombreedsentertainment

The Bad

The only problem we found was that the flavors didn’t last very long. On the up side, once the flavor was gone they didn’t smell or taste like latex. Having said that, adding a flavored lube of the same type would be a decent solution, and with System Jo making both Strawberry and Chocolate versions, and Intimate Organics offering a pretty decent Vanilla Caramel, along with Sliquid making the BEST cherry vanilla lube I’ve ever had, it should be a solution that’s easy to employ.

*For those of you that suggest not using a condom for oral let me just say this, HPV, Herpes, Gonorrhea, and Chlamydia, can all be passed on to your partner(s) orally. Don’t really care? Let’s see if you say that after looking at these pictures of Chlamydia or these pictures of Syphilis. Personally I’d prefer to either go without or use a condom.

Final Verdict

If you’re sick of flavored condoms that have a scent and taste that’s syrupy, thick, practically all latex and totally nausea inducing, you might want to try the “OOO” Boutique Savor Me flavored condoms, although the flavors didn’t stick around very long (chocolate being the best) what they had to offer was pretty decent (considering that they’re condoms). If on the the other hand you’re looking for ones with a bit more lasting power I’d suggest Endurance or a Trustex 12 pack, both offer a wider variety of flavors and are free of the latex grossness.

To get your hands on a variety of flavored condoms at great prices, head over to where shopping for your intimate accessories is discreet and priced to fit any budget!

For those interested in the Rock Me (pleasure enhanced) or Feel Me (sheer) versions the company creates I suggest you either subscribe to my RSS feed or fill out the form below as I’ll be covering them in an up coming review.

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Interview w/ XBiz Premiere Magazine


Kara Sutra Interview XBiz 2012, JuneFollowing in the footsteps of one of my all-time fave sex toy reviewers, I was interviewed by Xbiz Premiere for the June issue of their magazine. I know that for most of you this wont seem like that big of a deal, but as far as adult industry publications go, this is HUGE!

The portion I’m in is the “Blogger Spotlight”, something they started a few months back featuring those that blog within the realm of sexuality, sex and intimate accessories.

To read the interview you can check their digital version (just click “view current issue online”) or download the PDF, though I’ll admit the file is huge, really huge, so reading it online (or here) might be your best options.  For those with computers that take a long time to load, or others that are simply too lazy to view things if it requires clicking about (joking! well, kinda), I’ve posted a full copy below with links to the products/things I talked about. If you choose to hit up the online edition, I’m on page 101, though being on 102 might have been just that little bit cooler, what with Sex Ed 102 and all.

Regardless of the page, I’m super excited about this and so very thankful to the lovely Ariana Rodriguez for including me.

Adorably Accessible – Interview w/ XBiz Premiere Magazine

Kara_Sutra Delivers Sex Ed, Toy Advice With Signature Approachability

By Ariana Rodriguez

Kara_Sutra became known for hosting “Sex Ed 102: all the things you didn’t learn … but should have,” a popular web series in which she shed light on the topic of healthy sexuality with information and advice directed at inquiring adults. Inspired by the lack of sex-related knowledge she encountered while working at an adult shop, Kara_Sutra’s blog and video series is fueled by viewer/reader questions about sex and consumer interest in the booming sex toy marketplace. “Her sweet and friendly demeanor dotted with sly humor, the occasional trucker’s mouth, and fantastic natural cleavage has won her a large and supportive fan base,” Kara_Sutra’s bio says, and she maintains her relationship with fans by keeping an open stream of communication via social media.

When did Kara_Sutra Reviews & Sex Ed 102 launch, and what inspired their creation?

Sex Ed 102 started back in March of 2007, with the reviews following shortly after. During a shift at the adult novelty store where I was employed a gentleman asked if I could help, he stated that he had “poked” his girlfriends vagina and “it didn’t do anything,” leaving him to wonder what he was doing wrong. I asked him what he meant by “poked,” to which he replied (while motioning with his hands) that he had poked it, like literally poked it.  At that moment two things came to me: why would someone tell him to do that (?!), followed by that poor girl laying there being poked at — what a horrible experience that must have been.  It was that night that I went home and made what became the first video in the series “Things Boys Need To Know About Sex”.  Within the first 24 hours of being on YouTube it gained just over 100,000 hits, and although that isn’t very much by today’s standards, back then it was considered a viral video. Almost instantly my inbox was flooded with questions regarding sex or sex toys, making it apparent to me that there was an obvious need for this type of information, and prompting me to continue making videos.

*The video link I included isn’t the original, and therefore doesn’t show the true view count the video received (which was close to 2 million before YouTube killed my account), it’s just a mirrored copy someone posted a few years back. Looking at the video now I shudder with wtf was I thinking moments! Ugh, #failvideo

How have your blogs and videos evolved since they launched?

When I first started I didn’t really know what I was doing, the attention and growth happened almost overnight, leaving me to create videos as I saw fit. Initially my videos were only around three minutes in length and although the information I offered was well researched, I wasn’t quite sure of how to present it, finding myself talking to the camera as if I was talking to a friend. At the time it worked, but with changes to the policies within YouTube’s structuring I had to make necessary adjustments to allow the videos to stay on the site. Fortunately that worked in my favor as it forced my videos to become much more professional, respectful, gender-inclusive and structured. Now my videos are free of distracting background music, longer in length to present all the information I want to offer, cover a much larger range of topics as well as much more luxurious products. Looking back at the first few videos I cringe, especially when comparing them to the level of quality I’m creating now.  I’ve since left YouTube and now place my videos on, they allow the content I provide without any issues and have much better customer service.

How would you describe your relationship with your readers?

My relationship with my readers and viewers is pretty amazing, most of the videos and blog posts were inspired by questions they sent in, with their feedback being my guide for future topics. I’m a social media butterfly so communication flows from Twitter to Facebook, Pinterest to Tumblr, and includes everything from answering questions about sex to guiding them to products best suited for their needs, helping them through personal issues to general bantering. In turn they’ve showed me the utmost loyalty a girl could ask for, honestly, if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be where I am today. They are awesome and I’m exceptionally grateful!

Please provide an “anatomy of Kara_Sutra product review.” What factors of a product’s design and functionality do you cover?

In regard to product reviews, my main focus has always been providing an honest, reliable and open-minded review, while also offering the “best of the best” to my viewers with an emphasis on affordability, quality, safety and ease of use. Having said that, if a product doesn’t work for me (personally) I’ll do my best to cover it in way that’s honest but respectful, for instance the T-Rex made by Tantus is a BEAST and just didn’t work with my body, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t others who would absolutely love it, especially with the level of quality it has to offer. Judging by the number of people who regularly ask for shopping advice I think I’ve done a pretty good job so far.

Current industry trend in product design that you’d like to see more of?

The level of quality being offered now is exceptional, especially when compared to when I first started. I’d personally love to see more body safe products being made, with attention being given to discreet designs and luxurious materials (Crystal Delights, Jollies, Njoy and the Leaf collection being prime examples).

Top 5 favorite sex toys?

For a girl that likes to hoard sex toys that’s an exceptionally hard question to answer. If I absolutely had to choose I’d pick the LELO Ina, WeVibe Touch, G-Ki by Je Joue, Tantus Ryder (or Small Ripple), and the last would be a toss up between the Fun Factory Amor dildo, Vixen Creations Tex, LELO Ella and the Hitachi Magic Wand.

Again, BIG THANKS to Ariana Rodriguez, having me be a part of this has definitely made my Month!

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Review: Babes ‘n Horny ~ Kusama

Babes n Horny dildo

When it comes to the magnificent world of sex toys I like to think I’ve damn near seen it all; from Liger cocks to Religious offerings like the Diving Nun,  vibes that actually thrust to butt plugs with Swarovski Crystals embedded in the bases… and that’s just the first ones to come to mind.

Being that I’m able to say that is definitely a great ice breaker at parties, however as a sad side effect I’m starting to find myself becoming less and less enamored with many of the products companies are offering, sure they do what they’re supposed to, but for the most part they’re just rehashed versions of something that came before with little attention paid to detail, originality or creating something that’s truly spectacular – for instance, I love my pocket rocket, but does there really need to be over 100 different versions of the same friggen thing? No, no there does not.

That isn’t to say I’ve lost my love of all things pervy, silicone, or orgasm inducing, quite the contrary actually… instead of being totally blown away by everything that comfortably fits my nooks and crannies or gives me a great ‘O’, I’ve become more discerning in my tastes, only opting for those that are truly body safe, luxurious, and decidedly unique in design or appearance – all of the above if I’m lucky.

Well, you can imagine my surprise and instant adoration with the products I found on the Babes n’ Horny website (BIG thanks to @ThatToyChick for tweeting the link out); from baby blue dildos with white fluffy clouds to fauvist stripes, multicolored polka dots to ringed targets, luxurious matte hues and bright neons to camos (jungle greens, white/black and sandy desert shades), fun and playful marbling to lustrous pearly and sparkly combinations, pretty pastels to flesh tones, and glossy patents – they literally have everything I’ve ever hoped to find, all in one place, at great prices, made by people I have a huge amount of respect for (struggling artists have a special place in my heart), and all done in superior quality silicone that’s totally body safe.  As a sex toy reviewer, I live for moments like that. Amazing, just amazing!

*To view all of their colors check this page.

As for my new additions, I managed to get a lovely matte blue Naomi, a pearly and sparkly pretty pink Kate, Ohio in the amazing Yankee dildo dandy stripes and stars, a spotted Pina, and my absolute favourite a brightly striped Kusama. For todays review I’ll be covering Kusama, with written reviews of the others to follow in the coming weeks and months, and a haul video to complete the mix in the not too far off future.


When I first received my goodies I was rather surprised to see that each was minus a box or any other form of packaging, instead being wrapped in clear plastic with the name of the dildo written in marker and splayed somewhere across the front or bottom. Unsure if this was ‘standard procedure’ or just something they did being that I was getting the products for review, I wrote to the lovely Sienna asking if this was something everyone should expect, her response:

Yes, all dildos are shrink wrapped and then packed securely in discreet cardboard. We choose a box that fits as snugly as possible so that curious persons cannot squeeze them! and then packed in a generic Royal Mail envelope with only our Panda studio address on it. There is absolutely no mention of Babes-n-Horny whatsoever visible on the package. For all anyone knows it could be a part for your lawn mower(!)

From the sounds of it they’ve thought it through in a way many companies don’t,  and while some of you will likely think it’s a cheap way to go, considering they’re being shipped straight from the manufacturer I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal – do you really need a box to tell you which company made it? Aside from that, it minimizes the level of garbage they produce while also allowing them to get you product without it potentially being stopped at the border and thoroughly investigated (or held back due to what it is).

The Good 

I’m going to start with the obvious because as it relates to the vast majority of toys people buy, the main reason for buying them is often due to appearance. Sure, there are certain elements that should be considered first (like whether or not it’s body safe, easy to use, easy to care for and made by a company you can trust) but I’ve sadly often found that those who don’t know better wont buy better and base their purchase on how ‘pretty’ it is (lesson: be educated when it comes to sex toys folks!). Having said that, with the stunning design behind Kusama (and the rest of the Babes n’ Horny luxury collection of dildos), there is no reason one would have to give up quality over beauty, it fuses both in a way I’ve rarely seen.

Striped Dildo

Like my fave Rainbow Amor dildo, each of layered colors ‘pops’ against the next, with the hues being vibrant, cheery, eclectic and strikingly impressive. There’s no bleeding or fading of one shade into the next, with the lines being clean and distinct. As an added bonus there are absolutely no seams to be found whether it be along the body of the dildo, base or where the colors meet… in every way it’s as perfect as can be, and pretty stunning to boot!

*For as much as I love rainbows and my Amor, I will say my multi-striped Kusama is quite breathtaking by comparison, with the tones being brighter, more defined and the layering having a much better effect.

The silicone used is superior quality making it totally body safe, supple, exceptionally sleek, somewhat squishy and wonderfully flexible. The seamless design and gently rounded head allows for an painless insertion,  that with a bit of lube, glides in effortlessly, making it very easy to work with.

When it comes to options for use; it’s great for thrusting as the smooth body discourages friction, it can be inserted to create a feeling of fullness while letting clitoral stimulation take the lead, being that it has a flared base it can be inserted anally, used for strap-on play, or suctioned to most surfaces with the bathtub or shower walls being your best bet – regardless of how you opt to use it, the wide base works very well as a ‘handle’ allowing complete control while also providing a layer of cushioning during heavy thrusting. Having said that, the shape is fairly basic with minimal attention paid to its ability to stimulate the g-spot or p-spot… but in truth, I don’t really mind; Kusamas strength lies in the wonderful feeling of fullness it provides, being both comfortable and more than adequate.

As for the stats your looking at 6′ inches in total length with 5′ inches of that being fully insertable (the base is an inch in length), just under 4′ inches around in circumference (by my own measurements), and a diameter of just over an inch. Being that I’m not a size queen, with my Amor dildos being two of my absolute ‘go-to’ toys, I must say, Kusama is badass and definitely worthy of the same adoration and continual use.

Babes n horny dildo Rainbow Dildo, Striped Dildo Flexible striped dildo Babes n Horny striped sex toy

Care & Cleaning

Because Kusama is made of a high quality silicone it can be easily cleaned using soap, water and a good rinsing. If you wanted to you could boil it, though it is made of superior quality silicone rather than a cheap silicone rubber mix, so it won’t absorb bodily fluids, lube or bacteria in the same way a lesser quality material would, limiting the need for a heavy duty cleaning.

As for lubes I’d only suggest a good water based lube, and if you have issues with reoccurring yeast infections, one that’s sugar and/or glycerin free would be a good idea.

The Bad

When it comes to things I dislike about Kusama , or any of the Babes n’ Horny dildos for that matter, there is only one; they attract lint. Yes I know I’ve said it before in posts, but considering I’m not the only one with this pet peeve I feel it’s somewhat noteworthy. Other than that, it’s pretty damn fantastic!

Final Verdict

If you’re looking for a dildo that’s as visually impressive as it is unique, easy to use, comfortable and luxurious,  you really don’t need to look much further, it provides all of the above and then some. Sure, there are areas that may appear to be lacking (like the basic shape), but considering it can be used in a variety of ways, is totally body safe, feels wonderful and isn’t at all intimidating or overwhelming I’m more than willing to let them slide. It’s simple, and sometimes simple is good!

It really is so nice to find homegrown companies marketing and developing intimate accessories in such a positive, playful and professional manner. There needs to be more of this, much more, so please support them if possible they really and truly do deserve to be more mainstream… especially when you consider all the shitty products made by major manufacturers getting far more press and exposure simply because they have the money and means to back a campaign, even though the products they make are ones I’d never let 10 feet near my naughty bits.

To get more info, check out the amazing selection Babes n Horny offers, or learn more about the company, head over to their website where shopping for intimate accessories is discreet, easy and well worth the money! (I’d personally suggest eyeing the Leo in the Desert Camo, their Butt Plugs in lovely pastels, Etienne – a white version with pretty bright dots and a cast of the TS porn star Danni Daniels cock, can we say “Trophy Cock”? yeah, we can!).

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