Archive | January, 2011

Colt Anal Douche Review

coltEvery time I talk about butt sex, ass toys, or anything to do with anuses, I get bombarded with questions about anal douching/enemas. While some ask the basic question “is it really necessary?”, I’m most commonly asked what the process is, if it hurts, if it’s messy and what product(s) work best.

It was this continual prompting that lead me to try the Colt Anal Douche so that I could finally do a review for all of you.

To be honest, I’ve always been curious about douches/enemas and thought this would be a perfect opportunity to try one out. As for the debate regarding whether or not it’s necessary, I suggest you read this article by the wonderful people at Scarleteen – then decide for yourself.

Packaging

Colt Anal DoucheLike the majority of the products in the Colt line (by California Exotics) the packaging isn’t the most discreet. The left side is filled with a picture of a buff man in a Speedo, clenching his giant bubble butt while flexing his back muscles for all the world to see. If that isn’t enough, the words “ANAL DOUCHE” are listed across every side of the box, giving anyone within eye shot a pretty good idea of what the product is.

If you live with roommates, family, friends, or a partner, and don’t want them knowing you’re using this type of product I suggest you toss out the box as soon as it arrives.

The Goods

Colt Anal Douche Nozzle 1 As for the actual product, it comes in 3 pieces; a flexible rubber bottom that looks like the bulb from a Turkey baster, a long thin nozzle that is very thin, and another long rippled nozzle add-on for “personal pleasure”.

In total there are actually 4 pieces, since the rounded top of the rippled add-on is removable to make cleaning easier.

Why they made the rounded tip removable, rather than just putting a hole in the end, I have no idea. Sure it means you can clean it, but if there was no seam where bodily fluid, lube, soap, or bacteria could get lodged, you wouldn’t need to clean it to begin with. Other than that, it just seems silly and dangerous considering that if it wasn’t screwed in properly it might “get lost” inside you or if used in a rough matter, could scrape during insertion or removal.

The rubber bulb measures just over 4 inches in length and can hold up to 1 cup of water. It’s relatively easy to squeeze (when full or empty), feels smooth, and is pretty thick, making tearing it something you wouldn’t need to worry about.

This product does contain latex so if you are highly allergic you may want to look for other options.

colt 2The thin, body safe ABS nozzle measures 3 inches in total length, (2 inches insertable) and is only 5 cm in width making insertion quick and painless. The ribbed nozzle measures around 6 inches in total length (including the flared base), although it’s only 4 inches insertable. It has a width of about 10 cm making it slightly larger and less comfortable for a beginner.

Putting the basic parts together is extremely easy: place the base of the thin nozzle into the rubber bulb and push/twist it together until it fits snugly, voila you’re done. If you wanted to add the ripple part it fits over the thin nozzle and once in place, seems to stay together rather well.

Even if it did come off while anally inserted the rippled part has a slightly flared base which could prevent it from getting stuck inside you.

Cleanliness is next to …

Rather than go into detail about my usage of the Colt Anal Douche, I’m going to answer the questions I’m commonly asked using my experience with the product in mind;

What is the process?

Using the product is pretty simple and much easier than expected; just fill the bulb with warm water by using one of two methods;

I suggest using warm/room temperature water rather than hot or cold as you’ll be less likely to shock your system.

Pour the fluid directly in the opening of the bulb until full. Gently (over a sink) insert the base of the nozzle being careful not to squeeze the bulb. While it is a little more difficult, doing it this way limits the amount of air trapped inside the bulb.

Submerge the tip of the nozzle in a clean cup/bowl/pot of water while squeezing the bulb. Allow the bulb to completely fill with fluid by relaxing the pressure on the bulb (think of using a Turkey baster). This is the easier way, however I found that it also lead to more air being trapped inside the bulb which could later be pushed inside the user, leading to gas and cramping.

After making sure that there is no air in the bulb, the nozzle is well lubed, and you’ve taken the time to relax, insert the nozzle in the area to be cleaned (your anus) and gently squeeze the bulb until either you feel “full” or all the water has been drained.

When you feel comfortable remove the nozzle from your body. Some people will feel the need to expel the water right away, others might be able to hold it for tad longer. Since I’m all about comfort, do what feels best for you. Keep repeating this process until the water runs clear.

Does it hurt?

With the Colt Anal Douche as my first experience, my answer is no. Of course the fact that the nozzle was thin helped, as did the large amount of lube used and level of relaxation I created. That said, it wasn’t the most ‘comfortable’ experience, didn’t necessarily feel good, and definitely took a little getting used to.

The thin nozzle was far more comfortable and easier to insert than the ribbed one.

Is it messy?

In total I’ve used the product 5 separate times, 4 with the thin nozzle and 1 with the ribbed nozzle; every time the thin nozzle was used there was no mess, the one time the ribbed nozzle was used water ended up ‘leaking’ everywhere. That was enough for me to decide I didn’t like it. I haven’t tried the ribbed nozzle again and I don’t really intend to, not only was it messy, but contrary to what the box said, it wasn’t very ‘pleasurable’ either.

I used the product out of curiosity, wanting to have enough experience to ‘review’ it properly/honestly and due to a health issue, not for butt sex. If you do choose to use a douche/enema before intercourse make sure to wait a few hours so that the discomfort and/or irritation you may experience will be minimal.

Care & Cleaning

Cleaning the product is relatively easy, just wash all the parts with an anti-bacterial soap and make sure to rinse them well. When everything is dry store it in a cool place until next time.

Colt Anal Douche NozzleThe Bad

The majority of my complaints are with the packaging and not so much the product. I don’t think an image of a muscular man clad in underwear was necessary, nor do I think having the words “ANAL DOUCHE” written in capitals and plastered all over the box was needed.

As for the product, maybe it’s because I’m not used to having stuff in my butt but the ribbed nozzle was uncomfortable and not something I think a beginner could insert very easily. The latex may be an issue for those with allergies and  the removable tip seemed rather stupid – like I said, they should have just put a hole in the end.

Other than that, it didn’t come with any detailed instructions for use or safety precautions so I had to go hunting online.

Final Verdict

While I do think there are things that could be changed, I can also see how the Colt Anal Douche might be a pretty decent product for a beginner; it’s easy to use, lightweight, comfortable to hold, body safe, affordable, easy to put together, has a flared base so parts can’t get lost inside you, and most importantly – it does the job.

That said, if you’re looking for something a little more high end, that gives you more control and is better quality you might want to check out the AquaClean Shower Douche System with Switch Valve . I’ve heard really great things about it from friends. However, if you’re on a budget and don’t want to spend a fortune this a pretty good option.

To get more info, purchase the product, or see other options when it comes to anal douche kits, make sure to check out PinkCherry where shopping is discreet, easy, and highly affordable.

If you’d like more info on the safety, necessity or all around info on anal douching/enemas I suggest you check this link.

 

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Product Review: Ashton Moore Pocket Pussy

Ever since I got a Fleshlight (for my partner) I’ve become a snob when it comes to male masturbators. No matter how hard I try, I always find myself doing a comparison with the expectation and assumption that the almighty Fleshlight will rise victorious against the competition.

It doesn’t help that so many fake vaginas seem to run a distant fourth or fifth to the realism (both in feel and appearance), level of discretion, and quality the Fleshlight line of products have to offer.

Having said that, I do think the porn star moulded Pocket Pussies created by Doc Johnson (sent to me by the folks at SexToy.com) come in at a very close third, especially for those of you on a tight budget.

The Good

The first thing that impressed me was the appearance; not only does Ashtons Pocket Pussy feel relatively real, being soft to the touch and very much like skin, it’s also a close enough replica that I don’t feel any need to complain.

On top of the realistic appearance, I love that the user can adjust the level of stimulation and tightness simply by squeezing their hand (something the Fleshlight can’t do). The grooves on the outside make this task exceptionally easy, not to mention make it very comfortable to hold.

In regard to size the product measures 5.5 inches in total length and 1.5 inches in width. With that in mind, if you’re penis is longer than 5.5 inches you might want to consider something else as you will most likely find that your head pops out of the opening in the end. If however you are 5.5 inches or under, Ashton should be a perfect fit!

I’m not sure if they were going for this but when looking at the hole in the opposite end, it seems it could easily be used as an anus.

For those of you that like the feeling of warmth the pocket pussies retain heat nicely; simply place them in warm water (not boiling) for up to one minute, then remove from the water and enjoy!

Testers Experience

As I’m sure most of you are all well aware, I sadly (for me) do not have a penis and therefor cannot enjoy or review these products the way I’d like. Fortunately I have many male friends that are more than willing to lend a hand, or erect penis, making these reviews a possibility:

*name has been omitted to respect privacy

Me: “So what do you think” *placing product in his hand*

Him: “Did you seriously just put a Pocket Pussy in my hand?” *laughing*

Me: “Sure did, so what do you think?”

Him: “Well, I’ll admit it’s interesting. It’s lighter than I thought it would be, feels squishy, doesn’t stink like those rubber toys and looks kinda real”

Me: “Does it look cheap?”

Him: “No, not really. Though it is much smaller than my Fleshlight which might be a good thing.”

Me: “If you saw it in a sex shop would you buy it?”

Him: “Probably not, I haven’t heard much about it and I don’t know how good it would be. Although, for under $15.00 it seems like a good deal.”

Me: “Well, if I give it to you will you promise to show it a good time?”

Him: “Give me a week…”

A week later…

Me: “So what did you think of Ashton?”

Him: “Okay, I have to say I was rather pleasantly surprised!”

Me: “Why?”

Him: “Well, first of all, it actually felt good. Not exactly like a real girl would feel, but it was close enough that I didn’t need to force myself to imagine it was something else.  It’s really easy to use and it was really comfortable to hold onto. I love my Fleshlight but sometimes it’s a little tiresome, this wasn’t at all awkward or bulky. I also really liked that I could adjust how tight or loose it was. So many products they make these days are either way too small (tight) or make you feel like your f*cking a hole in the wall. This, for me anyways, was a nice change.”

Me: “Anything you didn’t like?”

Him: “I couldn’t put myself all the way in or the tip (of his penis) would pop out the other end. But that’s basically it”

Me: “How was cleaning it?”

Him: “A little messy, but a lot easier than cleaning my Fleshlight and there weren’t any other parts to worry about so it was pretty simple”

Me: “Would you suggest it to other dudes?”

Him: “Sure would! I think this would be good for most guys because it’s cheap, easy to use, feels close enough to the real thing and holds up to quite a beating”

There you have it folks, an honest review from a dude that actually used the product. Although I will admit, I’m still sad I couldn’t try it myself.

Cleaning & Care

Since they are made of  body safe, hypoallergenic, non-toxic and phthalate free UR3 material I would only suggest a good water based lube as a silicone or oil based one will totally ruin them.

Keep in mind that because they are made of UR3 they are very porous and will absorb bodily fluids, lube and bacteria. To help keep them in good condition I suggest wearing a condom when you use them (though you don’t have to) which will limit the amount of fluids/bacteria that they come into contact with.

In regard to cleaning, I suggest you wash them well with either a gentle anti-bacterial soap (making sure to rinse them well) or use a good toy cleaner that will kill any bacteria without also ruining the product.

*Side note: You’ll probably notice that when you get your Ashton Moore pocket pussy it will be covered in a powdery substance; this is to help keep the surface from getting sticky and/or tacky. To maintain the outer texture and appearance just dust it with either Renew powder or Cornstarch. To do this simply put some on your clean hand and pat all over the masturbator.  Once it’s evenly coated (not too heavily) wrap it in the plastic bag it came in and store it in a cool, dark place for next time.

*DO NOT dust the product with Talc or Baby Powder, both can possibly cause irritation and/or may not do much to maintain the products feel or appearance.

The Bad

One of my main complaints is the packaging. Sure it’s meant for guys and therefore would follow in the footsteps of other male sex products, having an image of the person/product on the box to help bring a level of excitement, arousal and/or desire, however it’s not the most discreet and for some people that’s a big deal.

Since it’s made of UR3 it’s porous which means it requires a bit more attention than other sex toys when it comes to cleaning and maintenance. On that note, if not dusted with Cornstarch or Renew powder (pictured right) after each use it will get sticky and tacky.

Speaking of being sticky, if not treated properly it will become a lint, cat hair, fluff and dust collector in no time. My suggestion, spend the money on the Renew powder and save yourself the headache.

As for whether or not it’s an exact replica of Ashtons va-jay-jay, I really have no clue. I compared it with a picture of her here (NSFW) and it looks pretty close so I’m not going to trash on it. That in mind, I know that Fleshlight uses actual moulds of the girls vaginas to make their products which is why they are so realistic.  Check out this video of Teagan Presleys mould being made.

Final Verdict

Sure, they aren’t as high in quality, nor as discreet as the ones Fleshlight make, but they do stretch rather nicely to accommodate different size penises, retain heat, are made of body safe material, feel and look pretty real, are very affordable, and are easy to clean and should last for a quite while.

Taking all of that into consideration, I just can’t help but think they are a great option for those on a budget or anyone looking to try something new.

To get more info, purchase the product, see the full line of porn star pocket pussies, or any of the other masturbators moulded after porn stars make sure to check out SexToy.com where shopping is easy, discreet and most importantly, affordable!

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Review: Vixen Creations Tex Dildo

Vixen Creations Tex dildoBefore I get into the actual review I just want to express that when it comes to realistic dildos I can be rather picky: they can’t be too long or thick (I’m far from a “size queen“), must be made of pure silicone (or another quality, body safe material), can’t be flimsy or low quality, must be easy to insert, comfortable, somewhat flexible, compatible with a harness and have to feel at least slightly like the “real thing” (a term I actually hate), if not damn near perfectly close… even with everything on the market those are fairly hard shoes to fill, especially if you want all of the above.

Thankfully there’s a company that does a pretty fan-fucking-tastic job of it, with the Vixen Creations Tex dildo being just one of many.

Packaging

The product comes nicely packaged in a tubular container that’s easily recyclable, and while there aren’t any images or wording to suggest what it is, the fact that the main part of the container is translucent is pretty much a dead giveaway.  Discreet? not really. Professional? sure. Inventive and fun? Hells yeah.

For those wanting a bit more discretion, you could easily peel off the brand/logo/information stickers, place a layer of colored paper inside (which would remedy the see through issue) and use it as storage for Tex, a small bottle of compatible water based lube, toy cleaning wipes and/or some condoms.

The Good

Not only does Tex look and feel ‘real’, it’s body safe, made of quality silicone, easy to care for and clean, doesn’t contain harmful phthalates, is latex free (for those with allergies), is non porous and won’t absorb lube, bacteria or bodily fluids, has a slight curve for g- spot stimulation, resists tearing, warms quickly, retains heat nicely and best of all comes with an unbeatable lifetime warranty!   In a nutshell,  this dildo is a badass!!

One of the things I specifically liked about the product was the realistic appearance; from the retracted foreskin, slight wrinkling and squishy glans, to the protrusion of the urethra on the underside, it’s what I would consider a penile comparison to the realism of the Fleshlight vagina.

Being that it measures 5″ in total length and 1.75″ in width, I think pretty much anyone could take it without much fear it would hit the cervix.  As for the g-spot curve, it isn’t very extreme, just enough to offer slight stimulation while thrusting or squeezing around it.

It also works rather well in a harness due to its flared base, making it fantastic for couples that are looking for something realistic to add to their bedroom play.

Aside from being wonderfully accommodating in regard to size, Tex is flexible, has a super squishy “tip” (think head/glans of the penis), has the texture of skin and maintains a solid internal core. It’s this internal core that (for me anyways) made it very easy to insert, yet still felt soft,  supple and extremely comfortable.

On that note, part of what makes it so realistic is the use of their special VixSkin™ material an *”exclusive formula that contains a premium silicone lubricant (just like that used in the most popular silicone lubes), suspended between the molecules, giving a more realistic feel and greater elasticity” .  Quite honestly, I’ve yet to feel a product that’s as close to the “real thing” as this!

For those of you not into  the chocolate color, Tex also comes in Vanilla (light flesh color) and Caramel (medium skin tone).

Care and Cleaning

In regard to lubricants I would only suggest a good water based one that’s low in glycerin as a silicone lube would very likely ruin it. (Products this fantastic should not be ruined)

Because it’s made of non porous silicone it can be cleaned in a few ways; you can use a premium toy cleaner, mild antibacterial soap & water (making sure to rinse it well), sterilize it by running through the dishwasher or you can boil it for three minutes. Which ever way you choose to clean it, I suggest you let it air dry as it can pick up lint from a towel or cloth rather easily.

The Bad

When it came to things I didn’t like about the product I was at a loss, a very rare treat for me.  There is literally nothing I dislike.

Final Verdict

If you’re looking for a realistic, durable and extremely well made dildo, you don’t have to look much further; from his skin like texture to the the comfortable feel, ability to insert anally or vaginally, harness compatibility and superior quality, the Tex dildo by Vixen Creations has everything you need and then some.

To purchase  Tex, or any of the products within the Vixen Creations collection feel free to click any of the links below and hunt around for the best prices.

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Sex Ed 102 Beginners Guide: How To Put On A Condom

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Sex Ed 102 Beginners Guide: How To Put On A Condom

Beginners Sex Guide: Condoms

Condoms are one of the most widely used and accessible methods of protection against sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unintended pregnancies. They are an essential tool in safe sex practices, offering a barrier that helps keep intimacy enjoyable while minimizing risks. However, proper usage is crucial to ensure condoms work effectively. Learning how to put on a condom the right way can make all the difference in terms of safety and comfort.

Whether you’re new to condoms or just need a refresher, this guide will walk you through the entire process, from selecting the right condom to putting it on correctly. By the end, you’ll feel confident in your ability to use a condom properly and understand why this simple practice is so important for a healthy sexual experience.

Not sure which type of condom to use? I wrote a comprehensive condom guide that will help you find the right one for your needs.

Wondering what size is best? Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered! This condom sizing guide covers all of the different sizes available and some helpful ways to determine which will work best for you.

For those wanting to use an oil based lube with a latex condom, this post will explain why oil and latex don’t mix.


Why Proper Condom Use Matters

Using a condom may seem straightforward, but small mistakes can reduce their effectiveness. Incorrect use can lead to breakage, slippage, or decreased protection, compromising their ability to guard against STIs and pregnancy. Understanding the steps and common pitfalls can help ensure you and your partner are protected.

Condoms aren’t just about safety – they’re also about comfort and trust. When used correctly, they can enhance intimacy by providing peace of mind and a sense of mutual care. Taking a moment to learn and practice proper condom use demonstrates responsibility and respect for your partner.

Step-by-Step Guide: How to Put On a Condom

Step 1: Choose the Right Condom

Before anything else, select a condom that suits your needs. Consider material (latex, polyurethane, polyisoprene, or lambskin), size, and any special features like textures or lubricants. If you’re unsure about sizing, most standard condoms fit well, but you can explore extra-large or snug-fit options if needed. If you’re still uncertain, this condom sizing guide will help you figure out what will work best.

Step 2: Check the Packaging

Inspect the condom packet before opening it. Look for an expiration date and ensure the packaging is intact – no tears, holes, or signs of damage. A damaged condom may not provide adequate protection.

Step 3: Open Carefully

Tear open the condom packet carefully using your fingers. Avoid using scissors, teeth, or sharp objects that could accidentally damage the condom.

Step 4: Identify the Right Orientation

Take the condom out of the packet and ensure it’s oriented correctly. The rim should be on the outside, allowing it to unroll easily. Pinch the tip to eliminate any trapped air, as this will provide space for semen and reduce the risk of breakage.

Pjur Med Natural Glide Water Based LubeStep 5: Roll It On

With the tip still pinched, place the condom on the head of an erect penis. Slowly roll it down the shaft, ensuring it fits snugly and doesn’t bunch up. If the condom doesn’t unroll easily, it might be inside out – dispose of it and start with a new one to avoid contamination.

Step 6: Add Lubrication if Needed

For extra comfort and reduced friction, apply a compatible personal lubricant. Use water-based or silicone-based lube with latex or polyisoprene condoms, and avoid oil-based products unless using polyurethane or lambskin condoms.

Step 7: During and After Use

Ensure the condom stays in place during intercourse. If it begins to slip, stop and adjust it immediately. After ejaculation, hold the base of the condom while withdrawing to prevent it from slipping off.

Step 8: Dispose Properly

Tie a knot in the used condom to contain the contents and wrap it in tissue before disposing of it in the trash. Never flush condoms down the toilet, as they can cause blockages.


Common Mistakes to Avoid

  • Not Checking the Expiration Date: Using an expired condom increases the risk of breakage.
  • Opening the Packet Carelessly: Tears or punctures caused by sharp objects can compromise the condom.
  • Not Leaving Room at the Tip: Trapped air at the tip can cause the condom to burst.
  • Using the Wrong Lubricant: Oil-based lubes can degrade latex and polyisoprene, leading to failure.
  • Reusing Condoms: Condoms are single-use only – never reuse one.

Tips for Comfort and Confidence

  • Practice Makes Perfect: If you’re nervous, practice putting on a condom a few times by yourself before using one with a partner. If you don’t feel comfortable enough to do that, using items from around the house like a brush handle, banana, cucumber, or anything else that’s penis shaped will work just as well.
  • Choose the Right Fit: A well-fitting condom is key to comfort and effectiveness. Experiment with different brands and sizes of condoms to find your ideal match.
  • Communicate with Your Partner: Open discussions about condom use can reduce awkwardness and build trust leading to much for enjoyable sex.

 


Final Thoughts

Condoms are a simple, effective, and essential tool for safe sex, but their effectiveness depends on proper use. By taking the time to learn how to put on a condom correctly, you’re not only protecting yourself and your partner but also fostering a healthier, more responsible approach to intimacy.

Remember, safe sex is about more than just mechanics – it’s about respect, communication, and mutual care. With this guide, you’re equipped with the knowledge to use condoms with confidence and ease, ensuring that your sexual experiences are both enjoyable and safe.

If you’re planning on incorporating condoms as a barrier method of protection, be sure to check out my favourite online sex toy stores be it Pinkcherry, SheVibe, Babeland, or my online sex toy store, ShopSexEd102.com. Don’t forget to shop around to make sure you’re getting the best prices available.

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Sex Ed 102 Q&A: Strap-On Review & Helpful Advice

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Sex Ed 102 Q&A: Strap-On Advice

Question

Hi Kara_Sutra

I’ve been going out with my girlfriend for about six months now and I’d really like to try some new things with her. I’m really into strap on/domination sex but I don’t know how to ask her about it or even how to introduce her to it. I’ve tried a few times to ask, but whenever I do I get really nervous and can’t go through with it. I’m not even sure I should ask her, because if she’s not into it, it would pretty much end the relationship, and be very awkward and embarrassing for a guy like me.

I hope you can help!

Answer

First off thanks for watching and supporting what I do!!

As for the question, there’s nothing wrong with strap-on or domination play and you are completely normal. In a world where exploring your sexual fantasies is becoming more mainstream, so too are new forms of sexual expression and experimentation.

That being said, bringing up the subject of anything sexually taboo with a partner can be challenging. It’s been my experience that when a person wants to try something new the best way to go about it is to ask questions and test the waters, start small and work up from there.

I’m sure the thought of asking her if she’s “ever done a guy up the butt?” is a bit too blunt and point blank for most people, so my suggestions to gain the info you need are these;

Find Common Ground

Find common areas where that type of play has been found in mainstream media and apply it to your situation. For instance, bondage and domination have been found in comic books, video games, movies, and TV; think of the female crusader in her tight leather outfit tying up bad guys and forcing their surrender.

To start the convo you might want to begin by saying something like “I’ve always thought women in stances of power like Cat Woman/Electra/Silk Spectre/Laura Croft etc were hot…

By relating it to something mainstream you remove the “weird” or “pervert” factor and create a general area for discussion that’s open ended and comfortable for both parties to explore.

Another reason that I suggest relating it to mainstream media and female hero’s/vixens is that as a female, playing dress up in boots, garters, masks and taking on a state of dominance can be a very empowering experience, one that leaves her feeling more secure in her femininity, comfortable in her own skin, powerful, and confident as well as safer with you.

Side note: If you want really cool harnesses that are perfect for costume play, and pretty badass if I do say so myself, click this link and head over to SheVibe. There’s so many to choose from, all with exceptional detailing. These is the kind of things cosplayers dream of!

Open The Floor For Discussion: Question Time

Once you’ve brought up the subject, spent some time talking and can see she’s still comfortable, you might want to start relating it to sex by asking some questions that open the floor for discussion and wont leave her thinking your a perv (I hate using that word, but it’s something I hear from my readers all the time).

Some questions you might want to ask her are:

has she heard of bondage or domination before as it relates to sex?
what are her thoughts on it?
has she ever engaged in it?
would she be interested?

The answers you get to these questions will give you a pretty good idea of if she’s interested and how far she is willing to go.

Help Her Learn & Be Supportive

Over the last 7 years of giving sex advice I’ve had a lot of women confide that they don’t feel comfortable with pegging for two main reasons; they’re scared they’ll hurt their partner, or worse off (to them anyways), look like an idiot because they don’t know what they’re doing.

It’s no surprise that when it comes to inserting something in their partner (whether vaginally or anally), most women are at a loss… after all, they don’t have penises and haven’t grown up putting their dick in something, be it their hand, a mouth, masturbator, or otherwise. As such, they don’t know how to gauge things like how deep they’re going, how much is too much, when to stop, or how to thrust. Understandably, this can leave them feeling exposed, unsure, incompetent, overwhelmed, and confused.

The best thing I can suggest is to help ease any worries or fears by encouraging her, let her know you understand what she’s feeling/going through, and offer to go slow and let her learn. Maybe she starts by giving you a bj while fingering you anally. Perhaps you have her insert something small and guide her along the way. Maybe you both read up on the subject (Adventurous Couples Guide to Strap-On Sex and Ultimate Guide To Anal Sex For Men are both excellent options), or watch an educational video, if so, I’d highly suggest watching Tristan Taorominos Guide To Pegging. Regardless of what you choose to do, this is an opportunity for you to teach her and be supportive. The more encouraged and accomplished she feels, the more willing she’ll be to take it to the next step.

Relax and Have Fun

Assuming that she is into it and wants to play, I suggest you begin with something simple and fun like furry handcuffs, a blindfold, a bottle of good lube, and a smaller anal toy. Let her cuff you to the bed, chair, door etc, blind fold you and have her way with you. When she feels more comfortable you can move onto things like tying with scarves ( I didn’t suggest this first because knots can be dangerous) ball gags, whips, paddles, playing dress up and more. For more advice in regard to Domination and the world of BDSM you might want to watch my video Spankings & Safe Words.

As for getting involved with Strap On play, my suggestion is to start with the domination and mild anal play for now (butt plugs, graduating to larger sizes over time). Allow her to learn, feel comfortable, confident, and safe in that kind of environment and eventually (in the same way as suggested above) see if she is interested in prostate stimulation.

Be Patient & Give It Some Time

If she’s not interested leave it alone for a little while. I say this because if a subject matter is continually brought up, it can cause the other person to feel like they’re being forced or pushed into it, leaving them defensive and even more uninterested. Once a month or so has passed, mention it again with very careful hinting.

Although I do understand your fear and nervousness, I hope that you’ll eventually get up the courage to ask her since it is something you are interested in – and in a relationship, both partners needs should be met.

Hopefully that helped in some way.

Kara_Sutra

 

 

 

 

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