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Review: Lelo Ida

Couples Toys & Games, Lelo, Product Reviews, Vibes

After watching the promotional video for Ida & Tara, Lelo’s newest couples toy, the little sex toy hoarder living in my head desperately whispered… you need to have that.

I told it that I didn’t. That there were other things to covet. That I had my sights on another precious. That it had misled me before, and that because of past indiscretions I wasn’t sure I could trust it again. Yet each and every time I heard someone tweeting or talking about it, there was that familiar hushed voice growing ever more determined… you need to have it.

You just, need to have it.

So, when the lovely Carlyle Jensen of Toronto based sex toy shop Good For Her asked if I’d like to review it, the little voice screamed YES! …and with my own curiosities peaked, I really couldn’t say no.

Packaging

As with every other LELO product I’ve reviewed, the packaging is professional, respectful and ’boutique’ in appearance. The box is sleek, glossy, modern, and classy, with no tacky photos or cheesy slogans to detract from the level of quality the company has come to be known for.

Once open you’ll find a matte cardboard box that cradles both the remote and vibe within a velvety tray. There’s also a small compartment hiding a set of batteries, charging cord, key to open and close the battery cover, registration card for warranty, and instruction book.

For the record I love Lelo’s packaging; it keeps everything in one neat little lint free place, cords, batteries, lube and all, so I never have to rummage through drawers trying to find all the parts and pieces. On that note, do yourself a favor and hold onto it. It’ll likely serve you well in the long run.

outer package

inner & outer box

toy tray & outer box

the full shebang

Personal Experience

Having previously reviewed the Tiani 2, another Lelo vibe with a disc like remote, I was familiar with how Ida worked… or at least I thought I was.

And so I laid, a piece of silicone stuffed lifeless inside me, arm flailing like a maniac having a carpal tunnel fit, cursing every dirty word I knew, hoping against all odds I’d remember and like one of Oprah’s signature ‘Aha! moments‘, miraculously figure it out. As if that wasn’t awkward enough, I caught sight of my partner standing in the middle of room staring at me mid remote controlled flail, looking confused, horrified and amused. After the fact he said he was seriously considering calling 911. Suffice to say, I’ll not make that mistake again. Instructions, people. Even when you think you know better, always read the instructions. And lock the door.

Good luck trying to find these in the dark, or when lubed hands are at the helm

Feeling like a total failure I decided it would be in my best interest to forgo the remote and try the vibe on its own. This posed its own set of problems… the power button is located on the side of the rounded base, which is fine, except that each time you want to switch settings (there’s 6 of them), the entire vibe must be removed. Sure, you could spend a good 10 minutes aimlessly running lubed fingers around the base, feverishly searching for tiny and impossible to find embossed ridges, only to continuously land on the charging port instead. But that would be foolish. Removing it would certainly be easier. And far more time effective. You’d think I’d have learned by now.

Thankfully there’s a silver lining to my lack of common sense… it was during this constant insertion and removal that I came to realize how Ida works best; because the base was too short to rest on the clitoris and offer direct stimulation, placing the edge of it on the clit while slowly rocking with a hand cupped over the the base, so the arm penetrates in a gentle gliding motion, I was able to bring myself to orgasm.

Assuming I was on to something, I tested this method 3 times over the next few days and was thankfully met with the same result; a slowly built release that left a pleasurable and steady wave of orgasmic contractions. Was it a bit more involved than I hoped? Yup. Was it mind blowing or intense? No. But it was effective. That’s better than nothing, right?

a full fingers worth, plus a bit

For as determined as I am there were times when my wrist started to cramp and I had to stop, rather than giving up and grabbing my Hitachi, I laid there like a lazy little bitch and let Ida twirl away. The rhythmic pressure felt nice as it gently stroked my g-spot and the vibrations did their thing on my vulva, but there was something that lingered… something not quite right… something was missing… then BAM! it hit me, I couldn’t help but notice the arm was pretty wimpy size wise. Even for someone that isn’t a size queen, measuring 3 inches in circumference at its thickest, and 3.5′ inches insertable, it isn’t very impressive. Granted Ida is meant to be a couples toy, so the thinner the better, but in this case, I was left wanting. If I had to compare it to something, I’d say the thickness is pretty close to having a finger inside you. Maybe two, but that’s pushing it.

As for prostate use, my tester said he could feel it and it was comfortably good, but that the wide, thick, and firm base was hard to get used to between his ass cheeks and that finding a good angle while sitting was a bit trying (he’s used to flexible silicone, so that may be more him than the product). I tried it this way myself… it’s an interesting sensation, a little weird at first, then fairly pleasurable. Though I’ll admit, I had the same issue with the base until I wedged it between my butt cheeks and clenched like my life depended on it. Not ideal, but it’ll do.

Partner Use

Unfortunately partner use is where things start to get really tricky, and by tricky I mean worse; once Ida is inserted it’s rather difficult to get a partner in, especially if they’re wearing a condom. In fact, if they’re wearing a condom don’t even bother, it’ll likely end badly – as per the one condom that went missing, and the other that pulled and eventually tore. Yes, we found the lost one, but still. This is not okay.

On that note, I know that Ida was a product designed for couples, couples that presumably don’t use condoms anymore. But for those of us that do, it’s a righteous pain the ass, on top of being worrisome and disappointing. There should be a warning about this somewhere, yet there is not. Lelo, please fix this.

Lack of a condom makes the experience arguably less frustrating, but it’s still awkward and requires effort, lots of lube, a lot of foreplay, and even more patience and perseverance. Getting a rhythmic thrusting going wasn’t easy either, I had to hold Ida in place to keep it from slipping when he pulled out, discouraging to say the least. Of course this wasn’t the only let down; rather than providing ‘more pleasure for him‘, with each thrust (when we could finally manage it, they were few and far between), he was met with the firm base hitting his pelvis. Grinding was no better, the base dug into him awkwardly until he finally asked if we could stop. Even though changing angles and positions provided different results, it’s safe to say Ida isn’t something he’d opt to use again given the choice.

As for the rotations, I could feel them, but it wasn’t what I expected… there was pressure internally, but it was muted, almost like an afterthought, and didn’t add that much to the experience. Externally I felt the vibrations, but I was concentrating so hard on keeping it in place and trying to feel the rotations that I didn’t pay them the attention they deserved.

my allies in defeat

Certain it was just my partner or the way we have sex, I armed myself with a handful of dildos of varying sizes/materials and settled in to prove myself right. For the record, there is nothing like an angry sex hoarder wielding sex toys totally ready for a challenge.

Yet again, I was wrong.

Even when lubed the silicone on silicone gripped and pulled my skin or each other, making insertion and any thrusting a serious difficulty. I struggled with hard ABS plastic, wood, and glass on silicone that at first dragged, then slipped all over the place. Admittedly, a lack of lube would have solved this problem, but I can’t begin to think of the ordeal it would have been without it. Quite unexpectedly, the last set of materials also made the vibrations pitch take on a distracting buzzy tone every time they unintentionally touched the ABS plastic cover. It was an all around fail.

Now add to all of these experiences a remote, one that requires either constant movement, focus, the ability to multitask, or all of above, and you’ve got one hell of a situation going on. Maybe it’s just me, but sex shouldn’t require this much work, especially from a product that’s supposed to offer “intense satisfaction“. Their words, not mine. Don’t get me wrong, the wireless remote is fun to play with… it’s just a tad involved and seems more like a gimmick to inflate prices than anything else.

Care & Cleaning

Thankfully Ida doesn’t require a heavy duty cleaning after use, the silicone won’t absorb bodily fluids, lube or bacteria, allowing a quick wash with warm water and antibacterial soap. You’ll want to take a few extra seconds to make sure the indent around the gold cover is clean, same goes for the remote buttons. I’ve found fluids will collect around the seam, something you probably wont notice until after the fact. Also, make sure to avoid getting any water or soap in the charging socket of the toy, and that it’s dry before you plug it in to recharge, that could obviously be dangerous.

Final Verdict

Personally I think Ida has a bit of an identity crisis to work out, which is crappy since I’ve had really great luck with Lelo toys so far; Ella was one of the very first toys that consistently had me squirting (tmi? meh.), their dual stimulator Ina was one of my go to toys for over 3 years, and I’ve loved the first and second generation Gigi without fault. Maybe if it was thicker, and a tad longer, with a slightly higher resting base, it would make for an ideal solo toy, but as a couples vibe it comes up short. Not to mention being far too complicated.

My advice, if you want a vibrator that has the quality Lelo is known for, are in the market for something on the smaller side, that isn’t overwhelmingly powerful (i.e. NOT a Hitachi), head over to Good For Her and get yourself a Lelo Tara. Sans Ida. It’s basically the same thing without a remote, or the high price tag. If on the other hand you want something a little bit more substantial, I’d suggest snagging a Gigi 2, Ina 2, We-Vibe Touch… or if you’re dead set on a couples vibe, give the Tiani 2 a go. Or maybe the We-Vibe 4. I haven’t tried it yet, but it looks a lot more promising than what Lelo cooked up, even without the rotations.

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Review: Divine Interventions Baby Jesus Butt Plug

Butt Play, Divine Interventions, Kink/Fetish, Product Reviews

Yes, you read the title correctly. I’m reviewing a Baby Jesus Butt Plug.

Unlike my review of the Diving Nun, I’m not going to make any apologies. I’m over censoring my experiences, especially when it’s done for those who are unable to differentiate between a silicone molded sex toy called the “Virgin Mary” – for dramatic effect – and having sex with an actual crucifix (which would be wrong, since the sharp edges COULD STAB YOU IN YER BITS). If there is a product I feel like reviewing I’m going to, without shame, embarrassment, fear of retaliation, or guilt… so if you feel this deserves a warning before reading on, you can find one here.

Of course I do know that no matter where I take this review, or what I do to make light of it, many of you will be taken aback. So, in an effort to make it clear that we’re all on the same page let me just say this: I’m well aware of the potential implications and consequences sticking a little Jesus in my ass could create. Being married to someone who went to a very strict Catholic school I’ve been informed that this review in particular will practically pave a gleaming golden walkway to hell, complete with my very own fiery arches, winged apocalyptic horse drawn carriage, fanged minions, royal diamond encrusted scepter (sourced from unethical places and workers, of course), all topped off with a set of brass knuckles to rule them all… and I’m totally okay with that. At the end of the day I’ve made a living toting sex advice and slinging dildos. What’s one more silicone mold to add to the fire and brimstone?

I kid, I kid. Ugh, I’m just making it worse aren’t I?! Pffft. As if this is the very worst I could do.

p.s. if anyone can draw me the above stated scenario in graphic novel form I’d be beyond wowed.

Packaging

Like the other Divine Interventions goodies, this adorable little plug arrived swaddled in nothing more than a First Holy Communion napkin to protect it; no clam shell plastic, no flimsy cardboard box, no thin plastic bag. Literally nothing other than the shipping box. For some this may come off at cheap or impractical, but to me it’s highly appropriate, especially considering the nature of the product; if someone was come across it they wouldn’t necessarily know what it was granting you the privacy and discretion you deserve. More than that it’s cost effective and eco-friendly. Plain brown boxed Jesus for the #win.

The Good

Regarding all of the non blasphemous reasons I think the Baby Jesus Butt Plug is a grand ‘ol time:

With the exception of facial features, namely the chubby little cheeks and forehead, the silicone body is supple and smooth with a generous bit of squish and give. Even with the variety of ridges to work past, it’s not overwhelming or intimidating, instead being designed to effortlessly slide and ‘pop’ into place with a generous amount of lube… just don’t make the mistake of thinking you wont feel much, because you will… a very weird experience indeed; what you’re sensing is the total awareness of Little J’s head going in your sphincter. Thankfully the bumps aren’t obnoxious or well defined, instead working quite well as a way to gauge how far it has traveled. It’s like a built in GPS system shared between you and J. I’m smirking at the thought.

Once inserted it’s not too big nor too small, being perfect for those looking to try something larger and sleeker than the Vixen Creations Buddy, but a tad more sensational and stimulating than the Tantus Ryder (both of which are fantastic if you’re afraid to explore, but willing to try). Size wise you’re looking at 4.5″ inches in length, 3″ inches insertable, and 1.5″ inches in diameter, all of which are pretty standard measurements where butt toys are concerned. Comparatively speaking, if you like the Tantus Ryder you’ll likely find they’re pretty damn similar, with the only major differences being the texturing and tapered lower portion; size wise, their near identical matches (pictured left).

On that note, the flexible and elongated flared base is far more desirable than typical round versions as it doesn’t shift, turn, slide, or spread the ass cheeks uncomfortably apart, instead fitting with little to no discomfort. For the most part it makes itself unknown, unless you’ve never used one, in which case you’ll know it’s there, at all times. For those that like suction cup action (i.e. thwacking your product down so it stays in place allowing you to mount it), once suctioned to a flat surface it stays stuck extremely well with little to no shifting or moving (great for use in the shower or tub).

When it comes to anything you pop in your butt you’ll want to make sure it won’t absorb bodily fluids, lube or bacteria, being that Baby J is made of non-porous silicone all the bases are covered. It’s also hypoallergenic, non-toxic, phthalate and latex free… basically put, if cleanliness is next to Godliness, this may just be as close as you’ll get where ass toys are concerned. And for the record, it passed the flame test with flying colors.

Totally unrelated to the usage I have to say that the coloring is quite stunning, displaying a lovely deep Merlot hue marbled with metallic charcoal grey and black tones, all gleaming like the North Star in the night.

size comparison

flared base

A Hand Full

: Back Of Plug

The Bad

There’s a fair amount of grooves where bodily fluids, lube and debris will collect, requiring more attention when it comes to cleaning. On the plus side it’s made of quality silicone so nothing will actually absorb into it, and a 3 minute purge in boiling water will sterilize it completely.

Before I continue I just want to point out that the next ‘issue’ has absolutely no effect on the usage of the toy, instead being more of a silly-little-bizzaro-land-masochistic-perfectionist expectation than a real complaint; if I’m going to be cramming Baby Jesus in my ass, I’d like the product to resemble him so closely that I legitimately feel the guilt and shame a sinning blasphemer would. After all, isn’t that the whole point? Sadly it certainly doesn’t look like him… in all honesty, I can’t help but think it could be the potential offspring of Big Baby from Toy Story 3 and Spider Baby (a.k.a Babyface) from Toy Story 1, if that could even be a thing. Or a baby ninja turtle, without the shell and fun colored bandana of course. Either way it’s cute, but not close enough. If only the one angry eyebrow could satisfy me esthetically. *sigh*

Again, this isn’t necessarily a fault of the product, just something you’ll want to keep in mind since the ass doesn’t self lubricate, and silicone can often create a drag on the skin, you’ll need lube, and lots of it to make insertion as easy as possible. If you’re not fully relaxed, lubed or ready, yes, you’ll likely find it a tad uncomfortable, but if you follow the steps I’ve outlined here, you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised by the glorious way it makes your ass feel.

Finally, it attracts lint, fluff, pet hair, your own hair, dust, etc, etc, etc, and damn near anything else that it might come in contact to like white on rice. If your a klutz like me, be sure all surfaces are clean or expect to be annoyed.

Final Verdict

All things considered I wouldn’t say it’s my favourite plug, I wouldn’t even go so far as to say it’s my second favourite, but since it’s crafted from a quality material, isn’t overwhelmingly large or intimidating, feels comfortable once in place, and grants the opportunity to brag about something most people never will (ahem, buttsecks with Baby J. Trust me, I know just how wrong that statement was), I can see how it might just become a favourite of many.

Is it potentially inappropriate, a little creepier than expected, and tacky as all hell? Certainly, but I’d like to think I’m a better person and reviewer for it. The things I do for you people. #YouWin

If you’re looking for quality sex toys made by a small company, and don’t have any religious guilt to deal with (or if you do and it’s the thing that gets you off), head over to Divine Interventions and grab something that might just help you get a little closer to God. Can I get an Amen?

Or for those that want the same level of quality, without the religious aspect, I’m going to offer up the Non-Denominational line of sex toys … just as great, but without all the fun of being a total blasphemous sinner.

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Review: Bunny Tail Butt Plug

Butt Play, Kink/Fetish, Product Reviews

I really shouldn’t need an excuse or reason to review the Bunny Tail Butt Plug, after all… IT’S. A. BUNNY. TAIL. BUTT. PLUG. But with Easter upon us, I just couldn’t resist taking advantage of the holiday, or the abundance of potential photo props it brings. What can I say, it certainly helped egg me on. See what I did there? I digress.

Based on the look and feel found within the 2002 hardcore (and I do mean hardcore) BDSM porn flick, Fashionistas, this plug is just one of many found within the collection. Truthfully, I’ve never really been much of a fan of Icon Brands or the products they produce, for the most part you’ll find jelly items I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole ~~or my vagina~~, beyond obnoxious PVC replicas of male pornstar schlongs, and lots of other questionable merchandise, but the Fashionistas line is where they seem to have gotten it right; the materials are comparable to many other high end sex toys, the appearance is elegant yet striking, and the quality is definitely there. If only they could bring everything else up to par.

Packaging

Although the thin plastic box feels cheap, the outer appearance is anything but; purple, black, and gold tones combine with a slightly Gothic font to create a sophisticated theme. It’s cute but brazen, classy but playful, professional yet edgy, and respectfully dark, offering an element of intrigue without coming off as campy or cheesy. Set in the center of the box is a peek-a-boo window showcasing the bunny tail in all its fluffy glory.

While it’s not the most discreet, the choice of wording isn’t as hardcore as one would expect with a product like this. Considering how intense the movie was, and the fact that most BDSM products come displayed in themes that are often all-out-balls-to-the-wall-freakish, I can’t help but be impressed with the choice to remain minimal. I’d thank the success of 50 Shades of Gray for that, but I hated the book. So I wont.

The sides of the box are rather boring, sporting nothing but the ” Fashionistas” emblem. The back provides a brief description along with pictures of other products within the line. I’m personally loving the design found on the handle of the Fashionistas Whip. Located within the box sits a clear plastic tray whose center is cut to perfectly cradle the plug. If you want a tail that retains its shape later I suggest holding onto this piece for storage. Trust me on this.

Packing: Front

Packing: Back

Packaging

Packing: Side

The Good

When first glancing the Fashionistas Bunny Tail Butt Plug I can’t help but notice the slight resemblance to the Tantus lil Flirt (pictured lower right), however there are some considerable differences setting them drastically apart; the bunny tail is heavier and thicker, has absolutely no flexibility, squish or give (it’s glass, duh), has a round base, and for anyone that wants to be a bunny (who doesn’t!?), sprouting from the base are a plume of feathers, that when fluffed, beget the appearance of a bunny tail. And yes, it does surprisingly look like a bunny tail once in place. *insert smart assy comment about bunny tails and butt sex here*.

Putting it to use is simple, as the combination of rounded tip, seamless design, tapered body, and sleek glass makes insertion damn near effortless, sliding into place without any discomfort or force. Then, once inserted, the bulging middle creates a comfortably full feeling, while also acting as something for the muscles to grasp, holding it in place satisfactorily. On that note, if you’ve found that thinner plugs slide or pop out of place during use, you may want to consider graduating up a size or grabbing something made of glass… for as much as I love my Tantus Lil Flirt, it just doesn’t cut it anymore, constantly leaving my ass frustrated by its inability to remain in place, not to mention wanting by the lack in girth. The bunny tail fills those voids nicely, while also adding a noticeable amount of weight that’s reminiscent of another plug I love. And just like that, my ass is happy once again.

Regarding total size, from tip of the feathers to the base of the plug, you’re looking at between 7″ inches and 8″ inches. The difference being dependent on the length of the feathers, and whether or not they get wet/ruined by lube over time. The 3″ inches that are insertable are pretty standard, though the 4″ inch circumference and 2″ diameter may be a little overwhelming for some. Don’t let that last little bit fool you, by no means is this a large plug. I’d call it a comfortable medium, though that statement is admittedly subjective. For those that feel it’ll come up short, there’s also a large bunny tail butt plug to contend with.

One of the things I have always loved about glass toys is how well they work for those that want to explore with temperature play; simply place the body of the plug (not the feathers) in warm or cool water, give them 10 – 15 seconds to retain the temperature and enjoy. While this may not be ideal for some during anal use, there will be those that find the added sensations rather enjoyable.

I know there are going to be quite a few of you that are looking at it and thinking ‘glass in my ass? No way!’, just let me state for the record that glass has quite a few benefits; it’s non-porous so you never have to worry about it absorbing bodily fluids, lube or bacteria, it’s naturally latex and phthalate free, is hypoallergenic, works with any kind of lubricant, and slips into place as if it’s meant to be there. Everything considered, I’m always surprised glass toys still haven’t gone more mainstream; they’re far better than any porous jelly product you’d cram in your ass without thinking twice about how gross and unsafe they are (jelly, I mean).

You’re also probably going to assume that because the plugs are made of glass they might be a tad dangerous; so long as you don’t drop them or slam them against a wall I (but really, why would you be doing that?!) they will hold up to quite a bit of wear and tear. Trust me, I should know – I’ve accidentally dropped all of mine a couple times now and not one has a chip or crack in it.

size comparison

tail base

bunny tail vs flirt

fluffy tail

The Bad

For as much as I love the idea of having a temporary bunny tail held in place by my ass, there are a few major flaws I can’t overlook…

Sadly, the design of opaque black tapered plug is fairly basic, with almost no defining features differentiating it from other glass plugs on the market. Yes, the inclusion of a silvery etched fairy frolicking in the flowers/filigree is a seemingly cute touch, but the reason for it escapes me. A killer bunny or poisoned carrot may have been better, at minimum it would have been consistent with the dark theme. Then again, I haven’t seen the complete film yet (the 7 minute masked Belladonna bj scene was enough for one day), so it’s safe to say maybe I’m missing something. Though I doubt it. Fortunately the etching isn’t something that detracts from the smoothness of the glass, you can feel it when running fingers along the length of the plug, but during insertion it’s virtually non-existent.

Any contact with lube, especially silicone, will leave the feathers looking, in a word, ruined (as pictured below). Sadly there is no easy fix for this, it’s a veritable catch 22; since the ass doesn’t self lubricate you can’t use anal toys without lube, however during insertion, it’s almost impossible not to touch the feathers since they’re so close to the base. See where I’m going with this? It’s disappointing to say the least.

Speaking of lube, one of the only issues I have with glass toys is how slippery they get once lube is introduced. Sure, it’s great when it comes to insertion, but it makes removal a pain in the ass. No pun intended. Not only will you likely find yourself grasping at the base like your life depended on it, but you’ll also likely find your fingers haphazardly slip sliding around in a vain attempt to maintain control. And herein lies the problem, no matter how hard you try, you’ll be tempted to grab at those fluffy quills and yank with all your might. Giving into my temptations I did just that, finding myself left with a fistful of fluff. Fortunately the actual quills and majority of feathers remained intact, but that isn’t to say that will always be the case… and was basically how I ended up ruining my fluffy tail with silicone lube. Now it looks more like roadkill. FML.

In case you didn’t know feathers can, and often do, retain scent. Oh, did I forget to mention they can’t really be washed either? Draw your own conclusions from that. Yeah, good times.

Finally, and this won’t be the case for everyone, if you’re used to thinner products or haven’t yet explored with anal play, the combination of rigid glass and size may be a bit uncomfortable. If this is the case get yourself something smaller and a bit flexible like the Vixen Creations Buddy Butt Plug, Tantus Lil Flirt, or Small Ripple, follow my advice when it comes to Beginners Butt Play, and take your sweet ass time. That time the pun was intended.

Care & Cleaning

Cleaning the plug is pretty simple, especially since it’s glass; just give it a gentle wash with soap and water, or use toy cleaner. Just keep in mind that exposing the feathers to water, or any form of liquid for that matter, will probably ruin them. If you must, and I mean absolutely must, you can give them a swipe with gentle baby wipes or moist towelettes, blot them with a soft towel, and leave them to completely air dry. Once dry, place the entire plug in a box or container that allows it to retain its shape, otherwise, you’ll likely end up with a flat bunny tail that’s a shadow of its former self.

Final Verdict

At the end of the day the Fashionistas Bunny Tail Butt Plug is a cute concept that somehow managed to fall a little flat. The plug itself is beautifully designed, and though the fairy etching seems a little out of place, the overall look and feel is one I can certainly appreciate. It sits on the brink of tacky without ever fully venturing over the line.

The piece de resistance, being the bunny tail, will be great for those that love petplay, just remember to keep every fluffy inch away from fluids and you should be fine. Otherwise, it’ll probably look like you stuck roadkill in yer butt. And we all know how not sexy that is. Did I just cross the line? Meh, you should expect that from me by now.

For more info, or to check out all of the products within the Fashionistas line, head over to FunWares and tell them Kara_Sutra sent you.

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Review: We-Vibe Thrill

Product Reviews, Vibes, We-Vibe

Reviewing sex toys isn’t always easy. Sometimes you get your hands on something you think will be a piece of crap and it turns out to the be the holy grail of sex toys (literally and figuratively speaking). Other times you get something you’ve lusted after for years, only to have it let you down at the push of a button. This wasn’t either of those times, if it was, this review would have been easier to write.

Don’t get me wrong, cramming stuff in your bits and sharing it with the world is certainly a fantastic exercise in humility and confidence, but there are side effects that come with it over the years.

In the case of the We-Vibe Thrill, I found myself oddly sitting on the fence; on the one hand it lived up to my expectations… on the other, I wasn’t really expecting much. Which is harsh for me to say, especially since almost every product they’ve made has left me thoroughly impressed (if my dog didn’t tear it to shit, the We-Vibe Touch would still be one of my ‘go-to’ vibes). Fortunately I don’t totally blame the product for my view… citing everything it’s been through, my vagina just isn’t easily “wowed” anymore, I guess with over 100 product reviews under my belt it was bound to happen sooner or later.

Packaging

I’ve never been disappointed with the packaging We-Vibe creates; it’s professional, classy, discreet in appearance, quality, and often luxurious. You’ll rarely find anything that’s potentially embarrassing or tacky, instead the choice wording is mature and thoughtful, with a large portion of their imagery being consistently straightforward, add to that the fact that the actual box(s) is fully reusable and you have yourself some quality stuff right there.

As for the Thrill; placed within the easily removed white cardboard sleeve sits a basic but sturdy red wine colored box, and with the exception of a simple “Thrill by We-Vibe”, there’s absolutely no information pertaining to the product. Instead, the key information is placed on the outer sleeve, including little diagrams and specifications in 7 different languages. Once opened, the product is nestled within a white foam holder, with the pouch, instruction manual and charger found underneath. It’s clean, simple, well thought out and something more manufacturers should aspire to.

*For those that don’t have many storage options removing the inner foam is a great idea, as the box is large enough to hold everything plus some lube, condoms, and if small enough, a few other sex toys.

The Good

Sadly for me the ‘bad’ outweighed the good, but that isn’t to say it didn’t have some redeeming qualities…

The supple and squishy silicone makes it fairly easy to insert, while also allowing it to bend and flex with the body – great for those of you that like to move around/grind about when diddling.

It’s hypoallergenic, hygienic, non-toxic, phthalate and latex free, as well as being non-porous (so it won’t absorb bodily fluid, lube or bacteria), giving it a longer life span than the cheap jelly crap you’ll often find.

It’s 100% Waterproof, not ‘splash proof’ like many other vibes, meaning you can fully submerge it in water.

It comfortably (and sometimes ergonomically) fits in the hand, sitting rather perfectly so it’s easily turned on and off with the press of a thumb.

Although it may not be strong enough for some, others will likely find that there’s quite a bit of power packed in the small body. On that note, the vibrations are fairly deep and rumble rather than being surface level and buzzy.

If it takes you a while to get off, not to worry, with a full charge offering up to 2 hours of playtime, depending on the vibration setting of course, you’ll likely quite before it does.

Side Note: One of the things I have always loved about We-Vibe it’s the fact that the customer service they offer is above and beyond anything you’d expect. After a few hours of relentlessly searching for the lost tiny ~~and stupid~~ USB adapter, I emailed them to let them know and asked for a replacement, even offering to pay for one. Within an hour or so someone responded and had one out for me the next day. Bravo We-Vibe! Bra-fucking-vo!.

Regarding size you’re looking at a total length of 7.5″ (stretched flat), with 3.5″ of that being fully insertable. At its thickest (the g-spot bump) it’s 1 1/8″ in diameter and has a circumference of 4″. If you’re someone that likes girthier things you’ll probably find the Thrill to be a little on the small size, however if you prefer that type of thing, it’ll likely be a nice addition.

Operating Instructions

In theory the C/U shaped Thrill is pretty basic: intended for solo use, the small end is inserted vaginally with the “bump” offering g-spot stimulation, while the other end rests on the clitoris providing external stimulation. If this sounds familiar, it’s probably because there are quite a few products with similar configuration, the Original We-Vibe, Lelo Insignia Tiani, Lelo Noa, and PicoBong Mahana being the first that come to mind. Fortunately they’re not all entirely identical (can we say Patent lawsuits for EVERYBODY!?), allowing each to provide slight differences in stimulation.

To turn it on simply press the button (located between the two silver charging prongs) and it will begin to vibrate at the lowest setting (3200 rpm), press it again and you’ll jump to the next highest setting (3600 rpm), once more and you’ll be at the second highest setting (4200), and finally, one last press and you’re at the highest steady vibe (4800). After that each press will take it through the 4 different patterns. Rather than trying to explain them, because I can’t, I’m just going to post images from the We-Vibe website below. Hopefully they’ll make better sense than I ever could. To turn it off simply hold the button for 3 seconds and it’ll quickly power down.

Tease

6. Wave

Pulse

8. Cha-cha

As for charging you’ve basically only got the option of using the USB it comes with. I hate this! Not only does it make charging a pain in the ass, but since I often use my laptop (my PC hates me!) it tends to get in the way. There is no point in time when I want to sit writing or watching a movie while the We-Vibe Thrill is charging beside me. More than that, the magnet, much like the ones used by Fun Factory, doesn’t stay put long enough fully charge without breaking connection. To make things even more annoying, the cord isn’t very long; no matter where you are, there it is. *sigh*

Finally, the magnetic USB that connects to the actual product is a separate small piece – meaning, it’s not actually attached to the cord (as you can see in the picture to the left: all separate pieces! Ugh!). Why they did this I have no damn clue – it should just be one piece. Period. Maybe if it worked with other things I wouldn’t be so pissy, but since I can’t use it with anything else, not my Blackberry, camera, my husbands cell, nor anything else, it’s totally useless. If they were trying to create something that could potentially be multi-purpose they failed. Stupid magnetic We-Vibe charger is stupid.

End rant.

The Bad

Like I said, the bad far outweighed the good… bare with me, I’ve got a lot of ground to cover.

First and foremost, even though it packs a bit of a punch it’s not quite as strong as it should be. You see, at the highest setting it’s the same vibration speed as both the Tango and Salsa, yet it feels as if it doesn’t quite compete. The reason for this… the thicker silicone works against the product by diluting the power of the vibrations. That isn’t to say it’s not good, just that it should be better. And it’s not.

I love silicone products for a variety of reasons, but they’re not all created equal. The silicone I often find We-Vibe using is more of glossy texture, causing it to drag on the skin, which can be uncomfortable if you don’t have enough lube. And it attracts lint and pet hair. Unfortunately the handle is also coated in silicone, making it very slippery when lubed hands try to keep control. I honestly would have liked to see something a little softer or matte in texture just so it was easier to hold onto.

Speaking of lube, whether it’s your own or manufactured, once you get it in place don’t expect it to stay there. Instead what you’ll likely find is the We-Vibe Thrill slip sliding around in your vulva while you clamp onto it like a banshee in heat. It’s awkward in a way that’s hard for me to fully describe. Let’s just say that if Duct Tape wasn’t so painful to pull off I might have taped it in place just so I could maintain long enough to get off without having to continually stop and reposition it.

*note: the best position I’ve found to work with it is sitting while watching porn. Sounds weird, I know. Maybe it’s just me and my body but I find that between the angle and closing my legs I’m able to keep in it in place decently while I focus on other things without being too preoccupied by it shifting around. Of course this isn’t an ideal situation, but it works, and in the case of Thrill, that’s what matters.

Although the design is meant to offer both clitoral and g-spot stimulation I often find it coming up a tad short… I can get the g-spot portion in perfectly but then the clitoral portion doesn’t seem to fully cover the clit. Alternatively, when the external portion is properly in place the g-spot part leaves me wanting. All that said, it’s pretty clear that it’s not going to fit the body the way it should , especially for those that have a g-spot that sits a little deeper or those that require something with a pretty intense curve (G-Ki, Njoy Pure Wand or Lelo Ella – even though they don’t all vibrate – would be much better options). Elongating the clitoral portion would have been a great idea, who knows, maybe they’ll make that change with the next round of adaptations.

Because the external portion has some weight to it, letting it go will likely lead it to slowly slip out… sure it’s a great way to streghthen your kegels, but that’s not what it’s for. And it’s kind of fucking annoying.

Last but not least, the handle could be a bit larger. Maybe it’s just my fat little Greek sausage fingers but I cannot get anything in that space comfortably without a fight (no pun intended). It’s usually a little too late before I realize I’ve crammed in my fingers while trying to maintain control, only to have them get stuck or slowly go numb with pins and needles. They could have made it a bit more stretchy, wider, thinner, flexible or open, but they didn’t and I’m not impressed. Not everyone has skinny fingers, that’s something that needs to be taken into consideration.

Care & Cleaning

Even though it’s made of silicone I wouldn’t suggest boiling it since you’ll likely kill the motor. Instead just give it a good wash with liquid soap and water and rinse it well. Like all silicone it’s non-porous and therefore won’t absorb lube, bacteria, or bodily fluids, and therefore won’t require the same heavy duty cleaning lesser products would. Once dry I suggest keeping it in the box or wrapping it in a lint free cloth, it collects lint/pet hair like a mofo.

As for lubes I’d only suggest a good water based lube as a silicone one would likely ruin it with time.

Final Verdict

Even though I have my complaints I can honestly say it’s not completely horrible. And yes, I’ve had better, but I’ve also had much worse. For the most part it’s easy to use, discreet, body safe, offers dual stimulation in non “rabbit” form, is fully waterproof, rechargeable, travels well, has a variety of vibration settings, is professionally packaged, and may be exactly what you want… if you don’t mind fighting to keep it in place, diluted vibrations, have fat little sausage fingers, or have a lower sitting g-spot, that is.

I can also honestly say it needs some work before it lives up to the standards I have for all We-Vibe products, but being that they are a company that listens to customer feedback and makes changes as they deem necessary, I wouldn’t be surprised if the next round of manufacturing stomps a few of the issues and creates something a little more lust worthy. Personally I think you’d be much better off waiting for an improved version, but in the meantime, get your hands on the Touch, Tango or Salsa, trust me – they’re some of the best on the market and definitely worth the money!

To get more info, or get your hands on any of the other products We-Vibe makes, head over to one of my all time fave online shops, SheVibe, where you’ll likely find yourself spending countless hours going through the incredible graphic novel style pages, and saving a few dollars in the process.

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Kara_Sutra's Best & Worst Sex Toys of 2012

Product Reviews

With the New Year upon us I figured it was time I posted my list of Best & Worst Sex Toys of 2012… considering I recently deemed 2012 as ‘the one where I started cramming even more bizarre stuff in my bits‘ (and in turn managed to hardly use anything that vibrated, weird), I can’t help but be excited to share my findings. On that note, since I didn’t do a list for 2011 ~~lazy slacker that I’ve been~~, I’ve included a few products from the previous year as they’re ones I’ve kept tucked aside in my “personal stash” just ’cause I loved them so (and in my world that makes them worthy of the inclusion).

A few things to note:

the list isn’t in any order, just a compilation of my faves and not so faves as they came upon me. Pun not intended.
now’s a really good time to start looking for sex toy deals and discounts, especially since many retailers are looking to unload back stocked items. Need help with where to start, check my sex toy sale page.

The Best

1.) No matter the skin tone, Vixen Creations Maverick is a hero among fake cocks. It’s big. It’s girthy. It’s supple and squishy. It provides a feeling of fullness that can’t be properly put to words. And most importantly, it feels pretty damn close to the real deal. In short, it’s amazing in every way you’d expect, and then some. Oh, and in case I forgot to mention it also comes in a neon tie-dye color that is beyond choice.

2.) If unsurpassed g-spot stimulation is something you crave YOU NEED the Jollie by Chavez Designz. Not only is it designed to be anatomically correct – read: targets the g-spot PERFECTLY – it’s also totally customizable, so whether you want one filled with sparkles, hearts, stars or anything else your little heart desires, it’s totally doable. Mine was filled with multi-colored puff balls. Amazing! On the down side it’s expensive, on the up side it’s TOTALLY worth it.

3.) Truth be told, I’m a sucker for a rainbow (insert overplayed joke about ‘double rainbows‘ here), especially one that comes in the shape of a 4’ inch dildo w/ superb coloring, a supple yet firm base, and silky smooth texturing. While it didn’t quite bring me to tears, nor endow me with the gift of a pot of gold, or a fucked up evil little leprechaun prancing about in black clogs offering up wishes in exchange for my soul, it has helped me reach a glorious O each and every time I’ve used it. Although I’d certainly appreciate a pot of gold or two, I just don’t know if I could live in a world where rainbow dildos were a thing of legend. Thank you Babes ‘n Horny for making the Kusama, thank you!

4.) It’s been said before that design is everything, and in the case of the Vixen Creations Buddy Butt Plug it’s true. In fact, it may just be one of the very best I’ve had. It’s comfortable, made of non-porous body safe silicone, inserts almost effortlessly, and once in place, feels surprisingly comfortable, managing to stay put without slipping out every five seconds, and it certainly doesn’t make you feel like you have to poop (I hear that about butt toys far too often). It’s also discreet, a definite bonus for those that value their privacy.

5.) There is nothing quite like the Star Delight Frosted Dildo by Crystal Delights; aside from being stunning, each of the lovely bumps running the length of the glass shaft create the most indescribable feeling during thrusting, while the slightly textured finish (not quite rough, not quite smooth) adds a sensation I’ve rarely experienced before. Simply put, it’s otherworldly. Yes I know how full of shit and tacky that sounded… just don’t knock it til you tried it. As if that wasn’t enough, each piece comes with its own Swarovski Crystal embedded in the base… and you’ve got 5 different colors to choose from. Consider yourself spoiled.

6.) Glory, glory Hallelujah! Sweet almighty! and Amen to that! …is what my vagina would say each and every time it came into contact with the Divine Interventions Diving Nun, that is if it could talk of course. But it can’t, which is a good thing, because if it could, I doubt it would ever shut up. As for the defining features that make the Diving Nun so distinguished; first, there’s that delicious, ever present, hard to miss curve gracing the g-spot with every thrust, then there’s the ripples laced along the back of the shaft adding an element of surprise and pleasure all of their own. Yes, you’ll have to get over the guilt that comes with cramming a silicone Nun all up in yer bits, but that’s besides the point. Forget cleanliness, this is next to Godliness…. almost literally.

8.) Although it’s not a sex toy the Fascinator Throe by Liberator is something everyone should have. Like literally EVERYONE. There’s no reason not to, and so many reasons one should: you can use it as a blanket to cuddle with on cold winter nights, bring it along for a picnic (if you spill on one side, just flip it over), use it at the beach to lay on, or totally go to town on yourself (or your partner) fully knowing it’ll sop up all the fluids. No matter what you use it for, rest assured it’ll leave the surface area underneath totally dry and protected. It’s revolutionary in a way that not only leaves me impressed, but also highly jealous that I didn’t think of it first. Anyone know how long before the patent is up?

9.) I never really thought of sticking a popsicle in my vag until I saw the iScream dildo by Love to Love (the same people that brought you the neon pink vibrating banana – I kid you not), now every time I see a box of them in the frozen food section of the grocery store I can’t help but get aroused. Seriously… and it’s kinda freaking me out. From the smooth and supple silicone body, to the at-first-awkward-then-totally-worthy-popsicle stick handle, it’s the thing every frozen treat wishes it could be: vagina worthy.

10.) Life by Leaf is one of those products whos appearance will likely leave you underestimating both its power and usefulness. Don’t be mistaken, in that tiny elf boot like body hides one of the best and most surprisingly powerful motors I’ve seen in a vibe, especially considering it’s so small. With a simple push button activation, supple silicone exterior, curved body snugly hugging the vulva, ergonomic design cradling the hand almost perfectly, and a vibration that’s strong enough to be carried through its entirety, Life has pretty much everything your clitoris and masturbastion session could ask for, and then some.

The Worst

1.) If there was one sex toy this year that could make my vagina run and hide just at the sight of it, it’s the Tantus T-Rex. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s a massive beast that I’m sure many would love, but for me, it’s just too much. The size alone was a deal-breaker from the start. As for that lip, the one I had to fight past on every occasion, cringing the entire time, shit, it made the whole experience almost unbearable… let’s just say there was many a drink to be had before I could finally relax enough to enjoy it, if you want to call it that. I don’t. And it’s too bad, because it’s made by a company I absolutely adore. Meh, you can’t win ’em all.

2.) Let me just sum this up in 5 simple words: I. Hate. The. Rock. Box. Yes, hate is a strong word. Yes, I HATE it. It’s like having sex with a mechanical bull and not being able maintain any sort of rhythm because it keeps turning off – all thanks to that irriating-doesnt-want-to-stay-put-no-matter-how-I-tape-it power cord. Then there’s the stupid handle, the one that’s supposed to be ‘ergonomic’ but instead continually gets in the way. And the weight of it is just totally unacceptable for a ‘vibator’, I’d have better luck trying to bang a bowling ball (well ain’t that a pretty image…). And all those parts and pieces, ugh don’t even bother. Stupid Rock Box is stupid. I hate it. I hate it. I HATE IT. ‘Nuff said.

3.) If I had to pick a product for a 3rd, and I mean absolutely had to pick because my life depended on it, it would likely be either the Tantus Panty Play (due to the fact that it’s not remote controlled, which would have made it totally badass – in truth I quite loved it, I just didn’t like that I couldn’t control the vibrations or offer up the control to someone else), or the Intimate Organics Flavored Lubes (while they tasted relatively good, they were a little too strong for my liking).

So there it is, my fave and not so fave sex toys of 2012, let this be a guide in helping you find something truly worthwhile when searching out your next fix.

p.s. I promise to stick more up in my bits in 2013 so my list at the end of next year is twice as good, and potentially a tad more well rounded… what can I say, my vagina has slowly been won over by things that don’t vibrate. Who woulda thunk it?!

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